The SweetieMash Chronicles
Chapter 16: Damage Control
If one were to describe the atmosphere inside the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ clubhouse in a single word, ‘tense’ would likely cover it nicely. Despite the hours spent coming up with and barely thinking through activities of questionable safety and the fights the three present members of the club sometimes found themselves in, tense moments were exceedingly rare. Questions regarding the safety of an idea were almost never brought up until it was far too late to do anything about it, and fights were often quick tussles where the three found themselves laughing in a heap almost as soon as the conflict had begun.
The current situation felt very different from those moments. Rather than the quick build-up that ended in the three leaving off for some ill-thought out adventure or having at each other with flailing hooves, things were unnervingly quiet.
Scootaloo stared at Sweetie Belle with a smoldering expression as Sweetie Belle stared back at her. Sweetie Belle’s head was tilted downwards slightly as she looked on with a half-apologetic, half-frightful look. Apple Bloom stood almost between the two, just a few feet out of their direct line of vision. The whole setup left the three feeling as if the air was hot, but slightly stagnant, like water just a few degrees off from the boiling point.
Scootaloo spoke up, speaking slowly at first and enunciated every syllable of speech, “So… rhetorically—”
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle exchanged a quick, confused glance.
“—what the heck did you think you were doing?!”
Sweetie Belle frowned. “I wasn’t thinking!”
“Obviously!” Scootaloo cried angrily.
Sweetie Belle’s eyes widened and she wilted slightly at Scootaloo’s harsh tone.
Scootaloo continued, “I mean… How could you just start shooting magic at me like that?! How stupid do you have to be to just lose your head and start doing something so crazy?!”
Sweetie Belle said nothing, and stared at the hardwood floor of the clubhouse. She scratched at the floor lightly with a hoof and opened her mouth, but only a few errant squeaks came out.
Apple Bloom took a couple steps forward. “Now there’s no need for name insultin’,” she said in a calm tone. “Ah mean, let’s not copy a crooked crop line jus’ to make it look like everything’s straight.”
Sweetie Belle whimpered slightly.
Scootaloo uttered a slightly disgusted grunt before speaking, “Uhg… You sound just like your sister.”
Apple Bloom frowned. “And just what in the hay is wrong with that?!”
Scootaloo raised an eyebrow. “She’s kind of a no-nonsense killjoy?”
“You take that back!” Apple Bloom yelled.
“Wait!” Sweetie Belle cried. “Don’t fight guys!” She lowered her head once more. “It’s me who should be yelled at here…”
The group went silent again at Sweetie Belle’s words. Quiet but tense once again, still right below the boiling point.
Apple Bloom spoke up, “Now don’t go beatin’ yourself up over all this!”
Scootaloo nodded. “Yeah, you can let me do that for you.”
Sweetie Belle let out a soft, somewhat frightened-sounding whimper as Apple Bloom turned and glowered at Scootaloo.
“Scootaloo!” Apple Bloom snapped. “There’s no need for that sort’a talk! It’s not like she actually hit ya with any of her magic beams.”
Scootaloo furrowed her brow. “Oh you think? Let’s just rhetorically think for a second that she did hit me.”
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle stared at Scootaloo again with confused expressions then turned towards each other as if the other one had some sort of explanation. Seeing their own expressions mirrored back at them, they both turned and faced Scootaloo once more.
Scootaloo extended her rather small wings to their full wingspan. The very tips were singed and blackened.
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle’s eyes went wide as they stared at Scootaloo’s damaged wing tips. The two fillies’ minds reeled as they attempted to find a suitable response to convey the degree of sympathy they both fe—
“Pfffft… AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!” Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom burst into laughter at the sight in front of them.
“Oh, what the heck, guys!” Scootaloo cried.
Apple Bloom fought past her laughter to respond. “Your wings have… HAHAHAHA… jus’ the worst luck ever!”
Sweetie Belle nodded her head up and down. “HAHAHAHAHA… I know, right?!”
Scootaloo narrowed her eyes. “You guys are wads. I’m going to have to preen all of these! Do you know how much effort it takes for me to even reach my tiny wings?!”
“HAHAHAHAHA…” Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle suddenly paused and frowned.
“Scootaloo,” Sweetie Belle said, “we’re not pegasuses.”
Apple Bloom turned towards Sweetie Belle with a frown and narrowed eyes. “You mean, ‘we’re not pegasi’!”
“Yeah, that either!”
Scootaloo crinkled her brow. “Well, obviously! I was being rhetorical!”
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle exchanged yet another confused glance.
“You keep using that word!” Apple Bloom said. “Ah don’t think it means what you think it means.”
Sweetie Belle nodded her head up and down in agreement.
“Oh, forget this!” Scootaloo cried. “I’ve been blasted and made fun of enough for one day! I’m going home!” she declared as she closed her wings and began trotting to the door.
“Scootaloo, wait!” Sweetie Belle cried in a pleading tone.
Scootaloo paused.
“I’m really, really sorry for what I did!” Sweetie Belle said. “You’re my oldest friend and I actually shot magic at you!”
Scootaloo turned to face Sweetie Belle.
Sweetie Belle continued, “…I just… It’s just… My head gets all foggy when it comes to Button and then I don’t think so good!”
“You mean ‘well’,” Apple Bloom corrected.
“Right, I don’t think well-good.”
Apple Bloom sighed and hung her head.
Sweetie Belle continued, “So when something Button-related makes me upset I tend to lose my head a bit…”
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “You don’t say?” she said sarcastically.
Sweetie Belle squeaked out a whimper in response.
“Look,” Apple Bloom began as she looked at Sweetie Belle, “we know you really like Button Mash.”
“Hold up,” Scootaloo said. “We know she like, like, likes Button Mash.”
Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow. “Do we really need to go into that level of detail, here?”
Scootaloo nodded and extended her wings once more. “Saying she ‘really likes’”—Scootaloo air quoted with both her forehooves and singed wings—“Button Mash would be like… a like and a half.”
“Oh!” Apple Bloom said. “You mean like, between like and like, like!”
Scootaloo nodded. “Right, exactly like that!”
“STOP SAYING ‘LIKE’!” Sweetie Belle shrieked.
“But—” Scootaloo and Apple Bloom said in unison.
“No ‘but’s!” Sweetie Belle cried. “I’m having a hard enough time thinking of what to do about Button without having to untangle weird sentence arrangement stuff…”
“Syntax,” Apple Bloom informed.
“Yeah, that thing!” Sweetie Belle said as she pointed a forehoof at Apple Bloom. “Besides, you were complaining about it earlier!”
Apple Bloom shrugged. “Ah guess Ah jus’ sorta worked out all the syntax out in my head.”
Scootaloo looked at Apple Bloom and smirked. “You keep using that word, I don’t think it means what you think it means.”
Apple Bloom narrowed her eyes at Scootaloo. “Use ‘syntax’ in a sentence.”
“Uh…” Scootaloo shifted her eyes back and forth nervously. “I uh…” Scootaloo cleared her throat. “Ms. Cheerilee got upset with me because I didn’t finish my syntax homework.”
“Hey, that’s cheatin’!” Apple Bloom cried.
“What!” Scootaloo protested. “My sentence arrangement stuff made sense, didn’t it?!”
Apple Bloom scowled at Scootaloo. “Yer just lucky I can’t shoot magic at you.”
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle grimaced.
“Whoops…” Apple Bloom said. “Sorry, Scootaloo…” she said sheepishly.
Scootaloo looked up with a scowl at both Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. The two swallowed and said nothing. The air felt warm and thick and once more the two found themselves just a little bit frightened for what might come next.
“THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?!” Scootaloo snapped angrily. “DO YOU THINK IT’S FUNNY I WAS BEING SHOT AT?! DO YOU TWO KNOW HOW SCARY IT IS TO HAVE SOMEONE ACTUALLY SHOOT MAGIC AT YOU?!”
Sweetie Belle’s eyes went wide and she looked down at the floor. She dug at the hardwood with a forehoof a couple more times and said nothing.
Apple Bloom lowered her head slightly, but continued to look at Scootaloo with a sheepish look. “Scootaloo… Ah’m sorry, Ah got a mite bit frustrated and said something Ah shouldn’t have.”
Scootaloo paused and looked at Apple Bloom and sighed. “Alright, I get it, yeah… Let’s not go making crooked crop lines or whatever…” She turned towards Sweetie Belle and slowly trotted up to her. “Uh… look… I didn’t mean to yell at you like that…”
Sweetie Belle looked up with a slightly hopeful expression.
Apple Bloom smiled slightly. “… Aaaaaand?”
“Apple Bloom, stop helping,” Scootaloo said. “It’s kind of annoying.”
“Right, sorry,” Apple Bloom said.
Scootaloo sighed as she focused her attention back on Sweetie Belle. “You’re forgiven, ‘kay? Just please don’t go all crazy on me and try to magic me into a pile of ashes again, a’ight?”
Sweetie Belle suddenly smiled and quickly threw her arms around Scootaloo.
“Oof!” Scootaloo exclaimed. She rolled her eyes but returned the affection nonetheless. “Alright, alright…” She said as she patted Sweetie Belle’s back. “Oof!” Scootaloo looked up with a somewhat annoyed expression at Apple Bloom, who had decided to turn the hug between the orange Pegasus and Sweetie Belle into a group hug. “Uhg! Alright! We’re friends again… you two can stop with the mushy stuff.”
Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom broke the embrace and gave Scootaloo big, happy grins.
“Great!” Scootaloo said as she turned from the two and began trotting about the clubhouse. “Now that that’s settled, we can go back to figuring out how to get our cutie marks.”
“WHAT?!” Sweetie Belle cried. “Button still thinks you like him! We still have to do something about that!”
“We?!” Scootaloo cried. “How come we have to do something? It’s you who still needs to confess!”
“Yeah, but you confessed first!” Sweetie Belle squeaked out angrily at she took a couple steps closer to Scootaloo.
“Yes, but I didn’t mean to!” Scootaloo replied as she likewise closed the distance between her and Sweetie Belle.
“So! We still need to figure out what to do about it!”
“We?!” Scootaloo flung her arms out to her sides. “Why do we have to do anything?! Just tell Button how you feel!”
“It’s not as easy as all that!” Sweetie Belle insisted. “We need to figure out what to do about what you said to Button and then I need help figuring out what I need to say to Button…”
Scootaloo sighed. “Why don’t we skip the first part and you just tell him how you feel? He’ll probably forget all about my dumb, not-real-at-all confession after that, anyhow.”
Sweetie Belle shook her head. “No way! I bet he’ll just become nervous because he knows he can’t say he likes one of us without hurting the other one’s feelings!”
“She kinda has a point, Ah think…” Apple Bloom said.
“Seriously?!” Scootaloo cried as she turned to Apple Bloom. “But I don’t even like him!”
Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow. “Ah thought we all liked him…”
“Alright, but I don’t even like, like him.”
Sweetie Belle’s eye twitched.
“Well,” Apple Bloom said, “do ya at least really like Button?”
Scootaloo frowned. “Uh… no, I don’t think I do… Maybe we need like… like a ‘like’ that’s between like and really like.... like…. really kinda like.”
“ENOUGH ALREADY!” Sweetie Belle shrieked. “The word ‘like’ has lost almost all meaning to me at this point!” She placed her forehooves on either side of her head. “I’m not sure if I even like or like, like, like Button anymore! I don’t even know that means!”
Scootaloo frowned. “Maybe we need to explain it better…”
“Ah know!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. “I can make a chart!”
“Hey, yeah!” Scootaloo replied as she pointed a forehoof at Apple Bloom. “Heck! Maybe we’ll even get our cutie marks in sentence-arrangement-whatever-stuff!”
Apple Bloom rolled her eyes as she muttered to herself and trotted over to a box of construction paper and art supplies.
Sweetie Belle uttered a heavy sigh and collapsed to the floor, her legs sprawled out in all directions.
“Good idea!” Scootaloo said as Sweetie Belle collapsed. “Make yourself comfortable while Apple Bloom and I work this out…”
Button Mash pushed open the door to his home, a slightly dazed look still on his face as he half-stumbled inside. He trotted onto a blue carpet and followed it down a short hall past beige-colored walls and framed pictures towards a door across from a potted plant.
“Mom?” Button called out.
“What is it, sweetie?” Love Tap replied from the room down the hall.
Button made his way up to the room, a combined kitchen and dining room where his mother sat at the table.
Love Tap sat down the book in front of her and looked up to smile at her son. Her saddlebags laid neatly set beside the fridge, indicating she had finished shopping that day and had put everything away already.
“I think I have girl troubles,” Button said as he stood in front of the doorway.
Love Tap paused briefly as she thought about her son’s words. “Do you mean troubles specifically dealing with a girl and her feelings, or just troubles because all your friends are girls who get into trouble nearly constantly?”
“Uhhh… The first one,” Button replied.
Love Tap chuckled to herself and got onto all fours as she trotted over to her son. “Alright, dear. Go ahead and tell mommy what this is all about.”
“Well… one of my friends just said they adored me and wanted me to be their ‘special somepony’.”
Love Tap smiled. “Well you’re a very special colt. It’s no surprise someone else would notice…”
“I guess so…” Button said in an unsure tone.
Love Tap raised a forehoof and gently caressed Button’s face. “So, one of your friends told you that they want you to be their special somepony. How did that make you feel?”
“I’m not… I’m not sure… I guess… I guess I’m kind of flattered… but I’m not sure I feel the same way about her…”
Love Tap’s smile faded ever so slightly, but she continued to look at her son warmly. “Well, you’re both young. You and Sweetie Belle have lots of time to work out your—”
Button shook his head. “It wasn’t Sweetie Belle…”
“—feelings…” Love Tap simply stared at Button as her smile seemed to melt away into a confused mess on her face. “It… it wasn’t?” she asked in a tone to match her new expression.
“Nope,” Button confirmed. “It was Scootaloo.”
Love Tap blinked a few times. “Wait… Scootaloo?!” she cried in disbelief. “Orange pegasus, with a fuchsia-colored mane who rides around on a scooter?!” Love Tap said as she pointed to her own mane and mimed riding a scooter. “That Scootaloo?!”
Button frowned. “Is there another Scootaloo I don’t know about?”
“Just making sure we’re talking about the right pony,” Love Tap said.
“I know what my friends look like, mom,” Button said as he narrowed his eyes slightly.
“Okay, but she confessed to you?!”
Button nodded his head up and down. “Uh-huh…”
“I… okay…” Love Tap said as she trailed off.
“Well, what should I do?”
“Uh… I guess… Well, you two should work out your feelings for one another…?” Love Tap replied in questioning tone as if she herself was debating the merit of her own statement.
“Alright…” Button replied. “How do we do that?”
“Uhhh… Right! How do you… How do you do that…” Love Tap trailed off as she stared off into space and tapped a forehoof against her chin. After a brief moment she looked back at Button Mash. “…You’re sure it was Scootaloo?”
Button sighed. “I’m going up to my room to play video games,” he announced as he turned and trotted off down the hallway.
“WAIT!” Love Tap cried. “I mean… do you know for sure it was an orange pegasus with a fuchsia-colored mane?!”
“Yes, mom!” Button shouted back in a slightly annoyed tone.
“I’m just saying, you might be colorblind, sweetie!” Love Tap shouted as she poked her head past the door and shouted down the hall. “Maybe we should take you to see the eye doctor!”
“I ONLY HAVE ONE FRIEND WITH WINGS!” Button Mash called back.
“Oh… right…” Love Tap said to herself as she thought about this. “Uh… I guess… I’ll just start on dinner…” she half mumbled to herself. “… And try to figure out what the heck is going on…”