“Whoa nelly!” Applejack slid around a corner. She felt her hooves lose traction as she attempted to change her direction as quickly as possible. She felt a nipping at her tail, glancing backwards she saw the mean maw of the giant spider, dripping with some sort of vile green liquid. She reached back with her mouth and pulled her tail out of reach of the spider, trying her best to keep her canter up at full steam.
“Looks like I’m not the only one who’d like a bite of your tail!” Rainbow Dash shouted, flying above her.
“Really, Dash? Now’s the time for dirty jokes?”
“Land sakes!” Applejack bellowed as she scurried around a corner. “Why’d it have to be spiders?” Not much terrified the orange earth pony, and among the few things that did, spiders certainly was not one of them. However after throwing the word “giant” as a qualifier on the creatures, things became an entirely different ballgame. Applejack rounded another corner, following a bouncing pink rump which she hoped to Celestia knew where she was going. As worried thoughts flooded back into her mind, reminding her that she was in a maze, she had a sinking feeling that not even Pinkie Pie’s innate, or perhaps inane, sense of direction would lead them out of danger.
“Stop lagging behind, AJ!” Rainbow Dash shouted as she swooped down and picked up the orange mare.
Applejack struggled in the pegasus’s hooves. “I ain’t laggin’ nothing! Put me down, Dashie! I can run on mah own!” Applejack’s hooves kicked wildly as they approached the ground. She tried to match the speed of the fast moving floor, wanting to hit it at full speed.
Rainbow Dash glanced behind her shoulder, she saw the swarm of giant spider rapidly scurrying towards them from the darkness. “Nuh-uh! I’m not gonna lose you to some pack of bugs just on account of your pride.”
Applejack kicked Rainbow in the stomach. “Well what about her then? You gonna fly her too?”
Rainbow chuckled. “Party Pants can handle herself just fine.” Indeed, Pinkie Pie was somehow managing to stay ahead of Rainbow Dash while bouncing up and down. “Quit wiggling, you’re throwing me off-balance!”
“Put me down!” She shouted at the pegasus. “Put me down! Put me down!” Rainbow’s flying became uneven as she struggled against the earth pony. She was slowly losing what little altitude that she had and suddenly Applejack found her muzzle a hairs’ breath away from the mandibles of one of the scurrying spiders. “Take me up! Take me up! Take me up!” Applejack squealed. The spider hissed at the earth pony. “Fly faster you garish self-absorbed blue sack of horse-feathers and balsawood bones!”
Rainbow Dash growled. “Don’t make me drop you….”
One of the spiders lunged, its furry legs spread wide as it soared through the air. The spider gurgled as it narrowly missed Applejack’s tail. She was a bit shaken by the unearthly sound. While she had never spent much time thinking about it, or rather any time at all, she had somewhat expected a giant spider to make a hissing noise and not a gurgle.
“Look! We can hide in there!” Pinkie Pie said as she quickly changed directions and bounded down a narrow hallway hidden in the darkness of the maze.
“Behind that scary looking dungeon door?” Applejack said with a bit of tremble in her voice.
Rainbow Dash looked backwards at the giant legion of spiders that were scurrying after her. “Scary doors work for me! There doesn’t need to be sunshine and butterflies on the other side to be much better than this!”
Another spider lunged at Applejack and Rainbow. “There better not be any spiders though, or Ah’m gonna…!” Applejack squealed in pain as she was torn from Rainbow Dash’s grasp. “OUCH!” One of the spiders scampered backwards, having been kicked by an errant orange hoof. The orange pony bounced down the path, the speed she was traveling at in Rainbow’s hooves still with her.
“AJ!” Rainbow Dash spun around and picked the farm pony back up off the ground. In a second they were all behind the door at the end of the passage way.
“Phew!” Pinkie Pie slammed the door shut with her rump and giggled. “That was a close one! We made it out of there by a hair’s breath.”
“No kidding.” Rainbow said slumping against the wall. “Looks like were safe in here.” A mournful cry echoed through the room. “You okay AJ?” Rainbow and Pinkie turned to face the earth pony and their eyes went wide.
“Okay? Okay?!” Applejack spun around in place. “Look what they did to mah tail!” Where the earth pony’s tail used to be was just a mere stump. “One of those eight eyed fly munchers ate it!” She sniffed and stamped her hooves.
“Hey… calm down… it’s… really… not that bad.” Rainbow said slowly as she rubbed a hoof behind her head. Her eyes darted around the room, focusing on everything but Applejack’s tail, or lack thereof.
“Calm down! It’s gone! They ate it right down to the dock!” Applejack pulled her hat over her face and slumped to the ground. “Right down to the dock… Mah beautiful tail… spider chow.”
“Wow Applejack! I didn’t think you were so vain!” Pinkie Pie said with a smile.
“I’m not!” She barked. “But my tail wins ribbons! It does rope tricks! It’s essential to mah job! And….” Applejack’s voice shrank to inaudible. “It’s really pretty.”
“Was anyway!” Pinkie Pie chirped.
“Well she’s got a point.” Rainbow said, turning to the earth pony. “It’s definitely your best feature.” She blushed.
“Say what now?” Applejack pulled her hat off her face to glare at the rainbow colored pony.
“I mean one of! It is definitely one of your best features!” Applejack’s hat collided with Rainbow’s snout with a surprising amount of force.
“Well look at the bright side, Applejack!” Pinkie smiled. “You probably will get an element of generosity now!”
Rainbow let out a snort and rolled her eyes. “That’s not how it works!”
“I didn’t give them mah tail; they plumb took it!” Applejack spun around and glared at Rainbow. “An’ stop ogling my hindquarters, RD. Ah know my tail’s gone and ya got a clear view, but try to have some decency!” Rainbow Dash blushed furiously. Pinkie Pie giggled. Applejack spun around to face the pink mare. “Both ya’ll! Stop staring at me like ya’ll was in heat!”
Pinkie Pie burst out laughing. “Sorry AJ, but I wasn’t! You just look so funny!”
Applejack sat down, her hindquarters flat on the ground. “No lying from either of you. This ain’t funny and Ah’m already upset about my tail I don’t need gawking too.”
Pinkie Pie tried to swallow a fit of giggles. “I wasn’t! I swear! Why would I?”
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Don’t pretend, Pie. It’s not a big deal. Eyes wonder right, AJ?”
“Mine don’t! Not to there!” Pinkie chuckled. “No offense, Applejack; not that you don’t have a cute behind but if you want to party with Pinkie you have to have a winkie.”
Applejack turned away. “Ugh. That’s disgusting.”
Rainbow Dash’s ear’s perked up. “Wait. What did you say?”
“Ugh. Don’t make her say it again.”
“If you want to party with Pinkie you have to have….”
Rainbow Dash stood up and grinned. “Whoa! Did you hear that? Somepony say my name!”
Applejack scowled. “Why the hay do we have to say your name, Rainbow? Oh! Sweet malus domestica! Ah can say colors again!” Applejack beamed. “Red, green, yellow!”
“Blue!” Rainbow chirped.
“PINK!” Pinkie Pie bounded up and down at an unnatural height. “But why can we say colors again?
“Ah guess Discord got tired of that prank?”
Rainbow shook her head. “Tired of that? It was a great prank. Don’t look at me like that. I can hate being the target of a joke but respect its creativity.” The pegasus bit her lip. “If I were Discord I would have let that prank go one for ages!”
“Then what do you think it means that it’s stopped.”
Rainbow nodded. “Trouble.”
Princess Luna craned her neck upwards, tracing her eyes up the large piece of stonework in front of her. It was a set of grand ornate marble doors, oversized even by minotaur standards. It was carved with images of minatuars clad in armor standing face to face, guarding the entrance. Fluttershy and Rarity stood on either side of her, following her gaze. Lifting a hoof slightly, Rarity spoke softly. “The labyrinth control room, I presume?”
Luna nodded. “If memory serves.” Her hoof traced a few of the lines on the doors’ carvings.
“So, I guess we just go in?” Fluttershy asked in her typical quiet timbre.
“If memory also serves, the control room is protected by a complex locking mechanism, designed to let friends pass and to dispose of foes.”
“Dispose?” Fluttershy gulped.
“Indeed. I have once been inside, but it was quite some time ago, I’m afraid. I’ll need a moment to remember how to gain entrance.”
Rarity touched a hoof to her mouth as she often did when deep in thought. “Perhaps there’s a riddle we need to answer?”
Fluttershy looked confused. “A riddle? Why?”
Rarity kicked her hoof gracefully. “Vintage things like this were often fond of riddles, or so I have been led to believe.”
Luna nodded sagely. “Indeed in my time riddles and puzzles were quite the ‘rage’ as you might say. However, I don’t see any clues as to what the riddle might be.”
“Perhaps is a very common riddle then? In that case…” Rarity stared down at the door, “Is the answer ‘a pony’?” She frowned when the door remained shut. “Maybe I need to say it in a different language?”
“Perhaps if this maze were built by sphinxes, but this is a minotaur mine.” Luna shook her head.
“Aren’t they basically the same thing?”
“Rarity! Such speciesism!” Fluttershy gasped. “Oh forgive my outburst.”
Luna gave a dismissive wave to the other two ponies. “Hush for a moment. I need to think. I’m sure the answer is buried deep within the history of this place.”
“Then perhaps a history lesson is need?” Rarity said with a tilt of her head. “Surely you can remember something about this place that holds the answer.”
Luna rubbed a wing under her chin. “Let us see… At the mine’s construction the control room would have doubled as the foreman’s office.” Fluttershy eyed the door and lifted a hoof up to the handle. Luna continued rambling. “So perhaps something about…. No. I guess once the dragons captured the mine, the control room would have been retrofitted for their needs.” Fluttershy’s hoof sank into the stone as the door creaked loudly. “How would a greedy dragon best defend his horde? Hmm…”
“What if they left it unlocked?” Fluttershy asked as she stared at the open door.
Luna shook her head. “Don’t be silly, Fluttershy. At the time of this mine’s heyday, the world was not as trusting a place as modern day Equestria.” Fluttershy cleared her throat and jutted her head slightly to the open doors behind her. “Oh. Well. I’m sorely disappointed in minotaurs now.”
Rarity placed a hoof to her mouth and gasped rather falsely. “Princess! Such speciesism!”
“Enough. Let’s make our way inside and use the control room to locate Princess Cadence.” Princess Luna shook her head as she pushed past Fluttershy and into the dark room revealed by the recently opened door. Luna’s eyes squinted as she examined her surroundings. The room was nearly pitch black. Her hooves echoed as they clipped on the smooth marble service. The soft purple and pink lights generated from Rarity’s and Fluttershy’s elements was owing little to light the cold room. Fumbling around with her wing, Luna found a recognizable device on the wall. With a rather ungraceful grunt she removed the tube like device rom the wall and it began to glow with an eerie blue incandescence.
“A torch of some kind!” Rarity exclaimed. “How fortuitous.”
Luna nodded, holding the glowing object between her wing and her barrel. “Crystallized lighting dew. On a stick. An arcane light source, effective but discarded because they produce a rather uncomforting light.”
“Well I for one think it looks rather dazzling.” Rarity said as she placed a hoof to her chest. They made their way around the room, moving further from large entryway and into the light completely provided by the torch. “I certainly wouldn’t mind if they made a comeback.” They passed by a series of statues that looked rather imposing, but Luna and Rarity ignored them. Only Fluttershy seemed to notice the fighting looks on their faces. Fluttershy was keenly aware of every shadow that was being cast on the wall as they walked. “They could provide excellent ambiance to the proper kind of festivities.” Rarity continued to drone on. Luna nodded out of politeness, but was beginning to tire of the pony’s voice. Fluttershy, however, was grateful for anything other than dead silence. “Not everything mind you, but it does have a certain… presence.”
Luna held up a hoof as they approached a wall with a large table jutting out from it. “Hush now.” Luna leaned downwards and squinted at the surface of the table. “I believe we have found the center console.” She inhaled deeply and with a loud bellow, blew the dust off of the table. “Now let’s see if it still works.” She placed a hoof on top of the table and with a delightful low hum the table lit up. “Huzzah! A testament to minotaur engineering.” Luna brushed her hooves across the surface of the table. “Now let’s see if we can find the map controls.” She fiddled with the surface for a moment, dragging her hooves every which way. With a glare she pressed her snout up against the console and attempted to get her nose to function on the surface.
“You have operated these kind of devices before?” Rarity inquired.
Luna coughed. “Well, I witnessed them being used. But minotaurs do have extra digits at the end of their limbs, so we are unfortunately handicapped when interacting with such devices.” The surface lit up, magical glyphs illuminating in various patterns. “Splendid! I have activated the map functions of the console. Please don’t ask me to do so again. I’m afraid I haven’t the slightest clue what I did to cause it to work.” She smiled. “If I’m honest.”
Fluttershy peered at the glowing diagram. “This is a map of the whole mines? What are these glowing dots?”
Luna pointed to the group of three dots on the map. “Why these must represent us here! Look, all three of us are huddled around the console. Ingenious. I think they can detect the ambient magic inside living creatures and use it to track their movements within the mines.”
Rarity pointed at another group of dots. “These three here must be one of the groups of our friends.”
Fluttershy smiled. “One of them is flying. That must be Dashie! So Applejack and Pinkie must be these two near them!”
Rarity pointed to another group nearby. “These three then must be Twilight, Shining Armor, and that pegasus guard!”
Luna nodded. “Most likely. And that means that this lone dot over here in this absurdly large room must be Princess Cadence!”
“Wahaha!” Rarity chortled. “Perfect, darling. But how will we get there?”
Luna placed a hoof on her chin as she fiddled with the console. “If I remember correctly there was a system for lighting the tunnels so non-minotaurs wouldn’t get lost, while touring the mines.” She nodded as a line traced itself on the map. “Highly useful for preventing potential customers from getting lost in the mines while touring.” She smiled as she turned to Rarity and Fluttershy. “This should light up the way for us. Only thing we need to do now is go fetch Cadence and bring her back here. Then we’ll lead the others out of the mine!”
“Um, girls…” Fluttershy pointed to the map. “You said that the dots are related to ambient magic?”
“Why yes.” Luna nodded. “So?”
“So what would an extremely large dot on the map indicate?”
“Well naturally it would indicate an extremely large source of magic. Why do you ask?”
Fluttershy jutted her hoof at a cluster of four dots, one of them significantly larger than the other three. “Because this forth dot just popped up next to where Twilight and Shining Armor were standing.”
Luna and Rarity exchanged nervous glances. “Discord!”
Twilight Sparkle wiped the sweat from her brow. “Wait! If Shining was brainwashed by Discord… and if it was his idea to come here to rescue Cadence… then that means this whole side trip….”
With a flash of brilliant light and a burst of confetti, a draconequus burst out of thin air shouting in Twilight’s face. “SURPRISE!”
“Is a trap.” Twilight sighed.
Discord rubbed hi claw and paw together furiously. A large toothy smile adorned on his face quickly dropped to frown. “Oh dear, I came in a bit early, didn’t I?” He place the back of his arm against his forehead and sighed overdramatically. “Whatever shall I do? The dramatic rhythm of this whole trap is thrown out of sync. Oh, I know! I’ll just come in again and we’ll take it from the top!” He snapped his fingers and vanished from sight.
“What just happened?” Shining Armor asked.
Discord’s voice echoed throughout the room. “Go on, say the line again. I’ll get it right this time. Places ponies, places!”
“Discord’s doing a bit.” Twilight sighed. “This could go on for a while. Get comfortable. I know how to handle it.” Twilight inhaled deeply and then, with the least amount of enthusiasm possible, she exclaimed. “Then that means this whole side trip… was a trap….”
Silence settled over the room as the ponies waited. Shining Armor, after a few seconds, coughed. “Is he gone?”
Twilight heaved another sigh. “No, it’s probably still part of the bit he’s….”
“SURPRISE!” Discord bellowed as he appeared with another burst of confetti. He quickly glanced around and frowned. “Oh bother. It looks like I was a tad late this time.”
“Imagine that.” Twilight said, her voice dripping with venomous sarcasm.
Discord smiled. “Well I suppose we can just try again until we get it right.”
“Or you can simply tell us why you’re here and what nasty thing you’ve got planned this time.” Twilight scowled. “Stop stalling, Discord.”
Discord mimicked Twilight’s scowl. “But, my dear adorable Twilight, how do you know if I can stop stalling if you haven’t the slightest idea what I’m stalling for?” He crossed his arms. “Besides you would like what I’m stalling for. In fact… if we wait for just eight more seconds I think those lips of yours will perk right up.” He gestured grandly to the entryway behind him. “In three, two, one….”
A trio of familiar ponies came bursting though the entryway. “Discord! Leave them alone!” Rainbow Dash shouted at an ear pricing volume. Behind her Applejack and Pinkie Pie came bounding into the room.
Discord giggled. “And if we wait just a teensy bit more….” He gestured to the other entryway in the room.
A second trio of ponies galloped into the room. “Discord. I should have known you wouldn’t rest on your laurels while Twilight plotted your downfall.” Princess Luna sneered. Behind her Fluttershy and Rarity approached, hiding slightly behind the alicorn’s wings. “Leave my Twilight alone!”
Discord clapped his claw and paw together. “Ah, the gang is all here again. I don’t know how you managed to decide to spilt up the party during this little side quest. You know that’s a dangerous move under normal adventuring circumstances, but for a team that literally draws their strength from their emotional and intrapersonal bonds it’s positively suicide.” Discord fell backwards laughing.
Twilight stamped her hoof. “Enough! We are all here now. Your silly little excuse for stalling is now invalid. Get on with it.”
“Oh how very Twilight.” With a snap of his fingers he conjured up a clipboard and a pair of glasses. “Must stick to the schedule, of course. Without it the whole world would be chaos! Anarchy!” He pulled the glasses down and peered over the top brim. “How is that philosophy working out for you?” Twilight stamped her hooves again and grunted. Discord sighed. “Oh fine, fine. I’ll tell you why I’ve gathered us all here today. But it shouldn’t be such a surprise that I taunt you so, your pout is adorable.”
Shining Armor shouted. “Where’s my wife?!”
“Now I was just about to tell you, if you would sit your little impatient flank down.” Discord crossed his arms together and pouted. “Honestly you act just like your sister. Clearly your mother didn’t teach either of you proper manners. Well at the very least we can confirm that she didn’t play favorites. Both of you are equally rude.” He huffed in frustration. “First of all, calm down. You beloved sister-in-law and wife, respectively, is safe. She’s just a little tied up at the moment.”
“Literary, I assume.” Twilight huffed.
“You know me all too well.”
Princess Luna lifted a hoof. “We needn’t waste our time here with him, Twilight. I have located Princess Cadence.”
Discord crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. “Oh, I doubt that.”
“She is being held in a large room to the southwest of here.” Luna pointed. “That entryway there shall lead us in the right direction.”
Discord frowned. “Oh poo. You’ve gone and spoiled my fun. I had a quiz based game show and everything planned. But I should warn you that I still have a few surprises. Oh how elated I am to see….” Discord burst into uncontrollable laughter. “Oh my goodness, Applejack!” He swung around and draped his arm over the farm pony’s withers. “What happened to your tail? Going for the butch draft horse look?”
“A ‘pider ate it.” Applejack scowled.
“Oh that’s too rich. Priceless!” Discord laughed heartily. He released his grip from the orange pony. “Now where was I? Oh yes! I was just telling you all about the wonderful selection of tricks I have prepared for you today.” He clapped his claw and paw together. “Now I know it’s not for a while, but all of you have seemed so dour (I can’t imagine why!) that I thought why not get a jumpstart on the holiday season? So I’ve set up a Hearth’s Warming Eve themed trap for you to collect your precious princess from. Orchestrated by yours truly.”
“It would be just like you to make a mockery of such a sacred holiday.” Rarity scoffed.
“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “No matter how much tinsel, Smart Cookies, candy canes, Pudding Head Pudding, hot chocolate, or red hearths you make, the fact that it’s you putting it on still ruins the mood.”
Discord pointed at the pegasus and laughed. “Hah! It’s amusing you mentioned hot chocolate, Rainbow Dash, because….” His voice trailed off as his expression contorted into deep thought. “Wait a moment. What was the last item in that list again?”
Pinkie Pie bounded up in the air, her snout approaching Discord’s own. “Red hearths! They are special little candies made with spicy peppermint and brown sugar that celebrate the first feast that the…!”
Discord played his finger on Pinkie’s muzzle, silencing her babbling. “Since when did I say you could start using colors again?”
Rainbow Dash pumped her hoof in the air. “Oh yeah! Looks like your magic is wearing off, huh, Discord? Looks like you’re losing some of your punch in your old age.”
“Really? Ageism is the best you can come up with?” Discord sneered. “And you! Miss Sparkle. What did you do to my language prank?” He spun around to face the purple unicorn.
“Me?” Twilight’s eyes widened. “Why would you think I did anything?”
Discord laughed. “With Luna and Celestia depowered, you are the next most magical being in existence, myself excluded, of course. And I certainly didn’t do it.” Discord’s face fell serious. “I’ll have you know that I take serious offence to anypony that dispels my pranks. Why I have half a mind to… wooooohahaha!” Discord’s body contorted and tied itself in a knot. “Whoa! My goodness!” Like a wet piece of pasta he found himself wiggling a writhing a he floated in the air.
“Is he doing another bit?” Shining Armor asked.
“I don’t think so.” Twilight replied.
“Wow!” Discord shook his arms and cracked his neck. “There’s a significant magical disturbance, the likes of which I haven’t seen in a long time.”
“A what?” Applejack asked.
“No time to explain, Applejack.” Discord lifted his arm up. “I’m terribly sorry, but it seems somepony is trying to take control of the sun. And I would guess, using my undeniable powers of deduction, that it’s the very same pony that undid all my wondrous pranks.” Discord snapped his fingers and vanished. “Be lambs and do try and enjoy my traps that I’ve set up for you. I would hate all that effort to go to waste as well.” His voice echoed throughout the chamber for a moment as the ponies sat in silence.
“Well what do you think that was all about? Why’d he leave in such a huff?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Huzzah! Celestia must have found a way to counter his spells!” Luna shouted joyously. “She always comes through when it comes to Discord!”
“Well, ‘bout time that Celestia got off her sunny flank and started acting like the princess we all know and love.” Rainbow Dash shouted.
“Rainbow, honestly. Show some respect. Her sister and student are right here.” Rarity pointed at each pony with a slight nod.
“No, no…” Twilight said. “I’m glad she’s feeling closer to her old self.” Twilight walked to the edge of the room. She stared at her hooves for a moment and then turned to face Luna. Her eyes traced the outline of the large mare, lingering on the alicorn’s eyes before she dropped her gaze back to the ground. “If there’s two things I always thought I could count on it was my friends and my mentor. Lately it seemed that only my friends were still in this with me. Now it looks like Princess Celestia is back, and ready to do everything in her power to put a stop to Discord’s schemes.” Twilight took a strong stance. “I don’t know if we still need to fetch this Icosaflux artifact that Celestia originally sent us after. Maybe the Princess has found a way to counter all of Discord’s magic without the need for it. Maybe the Princess found some fatal weakness in Discord’s plan. It doesn’t matter at this juncture. We’re too close to Tartarus now to turn back empty hooved.” Twilight stamped her hoof. “Maybe the Princess is only stalling while she wait for us to come bounding into the castle, ready to save the day. If that is the case, then we shall stay the course. First we shall rescue Princess Cadence from the evils of Discord’s dastardly traps. Then we shall go to Tartarus posthaste to bring back the artifact that Princess Celestia requested!” Twilight Sparkle turned around triumphantly and exited the room.
The rest of the group waited for a moment. A stray cough breaking the silence.
Twilight Sparkle returned to the room and shouted. “I just realized I don’t know where I’m going. Luna, if you would be so kind to lead the way?”
Princess Luna nodded. “Certainly.”
Everything in the minotaur mines was oversized. Much like Canterlot, which was designed with the alicorn princesses in mind, the door were overly spacious and the hallways allowed for three ponies to walk side by side. Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, Shining Armor, Wind Strider, and lastly, Princess Luna were walking down the increasingly cavernous pathway following the Princess of the Night’s guidance. Often Twilight would question Luna’s navigational skills, wondering if they were lost, despite only having been traveling a few minutes. It was only after the fourth inquiry into if the direction they were heading was indeed the correct one that Rarity asked Twilight to stop disagreeing with Luna merely out of spite.
After Rarity’s intervention the group traveled in awkward silence for some time. The three unicorns of the group levitated glowing torches as they trudged further down the path and deeper into the mine. The darkness seemed to thicken, even though the torches and the path were illuminated. The light appearing to be swallowed only a few inches from where it was spawned. It was a curious effect that both Pinkie Pie and Applejack had noticed and voiced their concerns to the group about. Shining Armor waved a dismissive hoof and explained that he was familiar with such enchantment and that they were relatively benign, save for the increased possibility of a stubbed hoof.
Rarity levitated a small cloth to her forehead and wiped the sweat from here brow. “My goodness, it does appear to be getting quite warm in this tunnel.”
Pinkie Pie jumped upwards, nearly hitting her head on the ceiling. “Yeah! What gives? I thought Discord said this trap was going to be Hearth’s Warming Eve themed? Shouldn’t it be getting colder?”
Applejack nodded. “Maybe. Oh, sweet applesauce! What if what Discord meant by that is that he’s got a couple of Wendigos guarding the Princess?”
“I sure hope not.” Fluttershy whimpered. “But just in case, we should all probably agree not to fight.” Fluttershy attempted to wipe sweat from her wings with a quick shake. “This heat is becoming unbearable. Probably not Wendigos? Right?”
Shining Armor grunted. “I agree. It’s much too hot for my tastes. Twily, know of a spell to keep us cool?”
Twilight chuckled. “Oh Armor, you’d probably live in the tundra if given the chance. But, no. I don’t know a spell to beat the heat.”
Princess Luna’s ears perked up. “I do. I cannot cast it in this depowered state, but I could provide instruction.”
Twilight sighed. “Of course you could. You just love to help, don’t you?”
“Can you two stop your bickering?” Rarity shouted. “If there are Wendigoes, you’ll only make them stronger. So I don’t want to hear another peep about your personal problems until we get back to the airship with the Princess. And then when we do get back, I think you two are due for a nice long talk. Because this. Is. Ridiculous.”
“Uh, girls?” Pinkie Pie stammered. Her pink body trembling with some spastic twitch. “I’m getting a doosy here.” She vibrated down the hallway, her hooves leaving a trail in the rocky ground. “I think whatever Discord’s got in store for us is…” She bounded around the corner, the others chasing after her. “Right around this corner!” As they rounded the corner each pony came to a sudden stop, Wind Strider in the back of the group colliding with each the mares. A harsh red glow covered their faces, flickering like the light of a campfire. They sat there, in the blazing heat for a moment, their minds trying to comprehend what they were looking into. They peered down at the underground lake of mud that sat before them, bubbling and gurgling like it was alive.
“What is it?” One of them asked. No pony could take their eyes off the lake to be bothered to check who was the first pony to speak. Pinkie Pie reached out with a hoof. Gasps and pleas of hesitance rang out as her hoof neared the muddy liquid. She pulled her hoof back quickly and jumped backwards, holding it gingerly.
“It’s boiling!” Her eyes were watering and she sucked on the burn. “Oh! Chocolate!”
“Well, now we at least know where the heat was coming from.” Twilight said with a quick gesture to the muddy water. “Some sort of boiling underground chocolate lake. Ultra-hot chocolate.” Twilight looked around. There were a few islands in the lake and the ceiling went up high, tapered in a dome. “Look there!” The unicorn shouted. “Hanging from the ceiling!”
“Cadence!” Shining Armor shouted. Sure enough, gently swinging upside-down was the often forgotten princess, tied up and gangling from the cavern ceiling. “Cadence! Can you hear me? It’s me! Cadence!” When his pleas were met with no answer he turned to face the group. “We’ve got to get her down from there! She’s probably passed out from the heat! Discord is steaming her like a carrot!”
Rainbow Dash gasped. “Whoa! Looks like Discord made a trap right out of Daring Do and the Temple of Gloom. You know. Except hot chocolate instead of lava.”
Rarity placed a hoof to her lower lip in thought. “Hm… Steam should open up a pony’s pores, but chocolate is supposed to be bad for that. Is this good for her complexion or terrible?”
“Alright, enough of this.” Rainbow Dash’s wings flared out and she lifted off the ground. “I’ll zip up there and go nab the princess and we’ll get out of here.” Rainbow Dash sprinted forward, leaving a rainbow trail behind her as she climbed upwards to the ceiling.
“Wait!” Twilight shouted. A thunderous explosion prevented the words from reaching the pegaus’s ears. A huge jet of hot chocolate burst upwards from the lake; the stream of liquid blasting Rainbow backwards. She tumbled to the ground, landing on top of Fluttershy with an ungraceful kick to the face. Dash whined and cursed. Twilight glared back at the lake. “We don’t know what kind of traps Discord left for us. Just because he’s not here to personally run them, doesn’t mean they aren’t deadly.”
“What caused that big jet to flare up like that? No cup of hot chocolate I’ve ever drank did that.”
Pinkie jumped up and down. “Oh! Oh! It sounded like a cannon ball!”
“Avast you giant scum!” A shout came from the other side of the lake where a swarm of little fluffy creatures were standing next to a smoking cannon.
“Who said that?” Wind Strider shouted.
“I am Number Forty-Seven! Leader of the Mighty Minimarshmillions of the Endless Checkered Fields!” A booming voice from the other side of the lake declared.
Luna placed a hoof on forehead. “Oh, not these things again.”
“Prepare the cannons! Do not let the giants take our queen from us!” Number Forty-Seven shouted.
“Luna, you know these things?” Twilight asked.
“Prepare the cannons!” The marshmallow swarm bellowed, shaking the cavern.
“We had a brief run-in while I was looking for where the airship was. They are annoying little creatures that shout far too much but are harmless aside from the earsplitting headache they give. They wanted to make me queen last time we met. I respectfully declined, of course. Now it seems they think Cadence is their queen.” Luna scoffed. “Though I cannot fathom why she meets their qualifications….”
“Minimarshmillions, fire at the giants!” Number Forty-Seven screamed. His high pitched voice screeching in the ponies’ ears.
“Did they have cannons last time?” Rarity asked as she ducked off to the side. Several thunderous booms shook the cavern.
“No.” Luna said. “Those are new. They had little toothpicks last time.”
“Duck!” Shining Armor shouted. A rain of cannon fire littered the area the ponies were standing. Fluttershy slid behind a small rock, barely larger than herself. Rarity clamored behind Applejack with Pinkie Pie scurrying on top of both of them, eager to get out of the way of the cannonballs. The cannonballs that missed the small rocky ledge the ponies were standing on splashed into the lake, sending splatters of boiling chocolate everywhere. They found themselves scattered and separated on either side of the ledge.
The swarm chanted something unintelligible as they loaded the cannons again. Rainbow Dash poked her head up over the rock she was hiding behind. “This is crazy! I’m grabbing the Princess and then booking it!” Cannonballs exploded around her in a blaze of fire.
“Rainbow, don’t!” Shining Armor shouted. Rainbow Dash lifted her wing up and proceeded to give Shining Armor one of the most obscene gestures known to pegasus-kind. With a powerful flap she rocketed off the ground, racing to the hanging princess. The swarm of marshmallow creatures shouted as they rained cannon fire on top of Rainbow Dash. The pegasus swerved and twisted through the air, nimbly avoiding most of the fire.
Most, but certainly not all.
Rainbow swerved when she should have twisted. A cannonball collided with her flank, squarely on her cutie mark sending her spiraling out of control. The lightweight pony wobbled through the air, doing a halfway decent impression of a drunk griffon. Rainbow tucked herself into a tight ball, preparing for the inevitable meeting with the ground. As her body bounced and rolled against the cavern floor she heard Shining Armor call out. “I warned you. The suppression fire is too strong. We’ll need to take out those guns if we hope to reach Cadence.” Rainbow rubbed her injury with a hoof and winced once she was sure no pony was looking.
Twilight’s ear twitched as she scooted near her brother. “Then we’ll need to get to the other side of the lake. We can’t fly over. So that leaves walking around the edge….”
Shining Armor nodded. “Or making some sort of raft to float across.”
Twilight quickly scanned her eyes around the edge of the chocolate lake. “Walking around edge would take much longer than crossing but it would probably be safer. Even if one of us got hit, it’s unlikely he or she would fall into the boiling lake. A raft on the other hoof could sink.”
“But it’s less time exposed.” Shining Amor pointed out. “That means less time we are getting shot at. With the number of pegasi here, particularly Miss Dash and the commander, we could propel ourselves across the lake rather quickly. I could project a forward facing shield that would protect us on the lake.”
“Possible. Hm. Very possible. Are you sure you’re up to it, though? The potion of the Mangus Thief hasn’t exactly left your magic in the best state.”
“It’s well enough for that.” Shining Armor smirked. “Then that just leaves the matter of the raft. Is your magic up to it, Twily?”
Twilight smirked. “Of course!” She turned to face Applejack. “May I borrow your hat, Applejack?”
Applejack glanced around awkwardly. “Uh, what for exactly?” A splash of boiling chocolate nearly singed her hooves as another cannonball was fired. “On second thought, just be careful.” Applejack pushed the stetson into Twilight’s hooves.
“What are you going to do with that?” Luna asked.
“Excellent!” Twilight tossed the hat into the lake. Applejack let out a whine. “One Overcharged Milliner’s Rescale spell coming right up!” Twilight’s horn flashed a brilliant purple. Applejack’s treasured hat grew to the size of a small carriage, floating precariously in the lake.
“Now that’s what I call functional fashion. Brilliant, darling!” Rarity exclaimed. Rainbow Dash quickly swerved out of the way of an incoming cannonball, its mass nearly clipping her outstretched primaries.
“Less talk! More action!” Rainbow Dash shouted. In a copious amount of frantic scrambling, the ponies piled into the floating hat, rocking the enchanted boat. Shining Armor’s horn began to glow, casting a translucent crescent of energy in front of the group. Rainbow Dash zipped around to the back of the makeshift raft. Her wings buzzed furiously as she pushed the raft forward in the lake. The boat kicked up chocolate froth, drenching the front shield with the boiling liquid. A cannonball splashed next to the boat, spraying the half ponies in the raft. Fluttershy let out a cry as she rubbed the blisters on her side.
“I got it!” Twilight shouted as she brought a secondary force field against the side of the boat. The raft rocked as a direct hit impacted Shining’s shield. “Rainbow Dash go faster! We can’t keep this up much longer!”
Rainbow grunted. “It’s no picnic pushing this thing, you know. I could use some help out here.” Rainbow lowered her head and pressed her body up against the back of the raft, throwing her whole weight into the activity.
“I don’t have magic, but I do have these.” Luna flexed her wings as she joined Rainbow in pushing the boat. The raft lurched forward, jostling the ponies inside.
“Lovely of you to join me, Princess.” Rainbow Dash grunted, but she wore a genuine smile on her face. “Now let’s show those marshmallows what real wing power is!” The large pony nodded, her wings matching Rainbow’s flaps.
From the other side of the lake came a blisteringly high pitched whine. “Stop them! Stop the giants! Double the cannons! Triple the doubling of the cannons! Then multiply that by… some number larger than triple! Fire everything we have! Fire everything we don’t have! Minimarshmillions, load yourselves! Living ammo away!”
“Living ammo away!” The swarm shouted. The booming echoes of the cannon fire ricocheted off the cavern walls.
Shining Armor winced as his shield flicked. “Ugh. Can’t take… much more of this. I’m sorry.”
“You can do it, Shining Armor!” Pinkie Pie cheered loudly in the stallion’s ear, causing the appendage to fold downward, retreating from the assault. “Don’t give up!”
Rarity leaned over the side of the boat, to get a clearer look at how much further they needed to go. “We’re not going to make it!” A splattering of marshmallow goo impacted Shining Armor’s shield. “Yuck!” The goo grew a pair of black eyes and it began to take form. The tiny creature held a spear in its spindly arm.
“To protect our queen!” The creature shouted as it jumped off the shield and into the boat. The ponies squirmed around, each one letting out a scream.
“Eek! Somepony squash it!”
“Down with the giants!”
“Ah! It’s got my tail, stop it! Get it off! Get it off!”
“Got it! Ouch! It stuck the underside of mah hoof!”
“I fight against the hoof of the oppressors!”
“No! Get it away from me! It will ruin my mane! Oof! Oh, dreadfully sorry, Shining Armor, I didn’t see you there.”
“Not… helping… me… concentrate... Twilight! Do something!”
“Kinda busy with my own spell here!”
Fluttershy planted her hooves squarely on the deck of the rocking raft. She inhaled deeply and shouted. “That’s enough! You should be ashamed of yourself.” Her eyes flash with the sternest look the tiny creature had ever seen. The creature stopped in his tracks, looking ashamed. “Now go put yourself in timeout.” She jutted a hoof into a corner of the raft.
The creature nodded and then jumped overboard. Fluttershy winced.
“I can’t believe that worked!” Rarity said. “Good job, Fluttershy.”
“We’re almost there, hold on a little longer!” Twilight said. All around her the cannon fire rocked the boat.
“Argh! I can’t take many more hits.” Shining Armor grunted. “Wind Strider, evasive maneuvers!”
The pink pegasus saluted. “Yes sir!” With a leap the stallion took flight. He flew to the side of the raft, pushing it out of the path of an incoming cannon ball.
“Wow, steering. What a novel idea.” Rainbow Dash said rolling her eyes. “You keep us out of fire, Strider. I’ll provide the muscle.”
“Doing my best over here as well.” Luna grunted.
“Yeah, yeah! Let’s do this!” Rainbow leaned in further, a flickering of a rainbow trail forming behind her.
The boat swerved through the lake like a snake, deftly doging cannon fire. Pinkie Pie laughed with each narrow miss. “Almost there!” Applejack shouted gleefully as they approached the lake shore. The boat skidded to a stop as it beached on the side of the lake. The ponies were catapulted through the air. Twilight bounced into the ground, the faint glow on her horn going out with a quiet squeak from her throat. Applejack’s hat shrank in size as they all tumbled forward. Reaching upwards, the farm pony pulled the normal sized hat back to her head and skidded to a stop softly on the ground. Twilight looked up from where she had landed, spying one of the marshmallow creatures right before her snout.
“No! No! No! Get them!” Number Forty-Seven barked, he quickly turned to run as Twilight’s hoof cast a shadow on his tiny form. With speed that surprised even Twilight herself, she pinned the leader of the swarm.
“Minimarshmillions! I’ve captured your leader! Put down your weapons and he will be unharmed.” Twilight said, her hoof applying light pressure to Number Forty-Seven.
“Don’t hurt him! Don’t hurt him!” The swarm chanted.
“Squash him and let the reign of Number Thirty-Three begin!” A single voice from the swarm said.
“No!” Number Forty-Seven sighed. “Put down your pointy sticks. Do as the giant one says. I will begin no-goat-sensations.”
“Negotiations!” A timid voice from the back of the swarm corrected.
Rarity smiled. “You know up close… these things are kind of cute!” She leaned in closely to inspect Number Forty-Seven.
“No! The giant lies! We are terrifying!” Number Forty-Seven insisted. “We are creatures born from The Gelatin; a dark substance created from pony bones! We are the byproduct of your dead! We carry The Gelatin’s unholy strength in every fiber of our being! And when we have slew… slain? Slained?”
“Slaw?” A single voice from the back of the swarm offered.
Number Forty-Seven continued with a dismissive shake of his head. “No that’s not it. Slought? SLAUGHTERED!”
“Slaughtered!” The swarm bellowed.
“And when we have slaughtered you we shall grind your hooves to dust to make our babies of marrow and sugar!”
The swarm roared. “Marrow and sugar!”
“The Minimarshmillions will not be trifled with! We are not some… some… some… thing that should not be trifled with!” Number Forty-Seven wiggled his way out of Twilight’s grasp. “Minimarshmillions! Serpentine! Hoo-ha!”
“Serpentine! Serpentine! Serpentine!” The swarm chanted endlessly. “Hoo-ha!” With a mighty yell, the tiny marshmallow creatures jumped into the hot chocolate lake. Each one let out a small scream of pain as they splashed into the boiling liquid.
Applejack gave her friends a curious and confused look. “Well that certainly was a mite unexpected.”
“Serpentine!” One of the creatures bellowed as it too jumped into the lake. The creature soon sank down, leaving a small group of bubbles where it once floated.
Rainbow shook her head. “I guess they’re fleeing?”
“Hoo-ah!” Another shouted as it ran underneath Rainbow.
“I mean, heck yeah! We’re so awesome, you better run!”
Twilight’s eyebrow raised as she watched the last of the creatures jump into the lake. “I don’t get it. Why would they all drown themselves? Is this all part of Discord’s plot? Are we supposed to be stricken with grief that they all jumped into the lake?” Twilight stamped her hoof.
The lake began to bubble furiously. Fluttershy whimpered. “I do hope those little fellas are alright. That lake is very hot. Do you think critters made of marshmallow do well in boiling water?”
“And another thing! Just because they are fleeing doesn’t mean it’s in a serpentine motion! In fact making a beeline to the lake is the exact opposite of serpentine! Words matter! Doesn’t anyone consult a dictionary anymore before speaking?”
With a fearsome roar the lake erupted. Chocolate sprayed along the cavern walls. Shining Armor raised a shield spell to block the boiling liquid as it crashed and heaved around the cave. Rising out of the lake with a menacing gurgle, a large creature, dripping with boiling chocolate cast its shadow on the comparatively miniscule ponies.
Twilight’s educational rant was cut short as he eyes trailed up the large monster before her. The bubbling mass of gooey flesh was in the form of a gargantuan snake seemingly made of melted marshmallow. Its head split in two to reveal a bottomless maw. A growing growl raised in volume until the cavern rumbled with the creature’s powerful roar. Chunks of the celling gave way, shaken loose by the tumultuous sound. The ponies’ necks ached as they attempted to follow the height of the creature looming over them. “That’s a big snake.” Rainbow whispered. “What are we going to do against that?”
“By Dagr and Nótt!” Luna trembled. “It’s a Marshmallow Midgard!”
The creature hissed.
Shining Armor turned to face his sister. “Do you deal with this kind of stuff every day?”
Twilight smirked. “What? This guy? Hydras, Ursas, Dragons. I’ve handled bigger. Think you’re up to it?” Twilight widened her stance.
Shining Armor widened his own stance. “Don’t go easy on me, Twily, just because my magic’s still recovering.” His horn lit up and a beam of energy shot forth, striking the marshmallow beast. The creature barely winced as it turned its attention to the group of ponies.
“I won’t.” Her horn began to glow fiercely. “It’s good to have you back, BBBFF.” Twilight’s blast singed the creatures jaw. The serpent roared. Applejack shouted something, but it went unheard. Bits of flaming marshmallow sprayed throughout the cavern. The ponies ran screaming in every which way possible to avoid the bits of gooey flame.
Applejack shouted as she dodged the incendiary rain. “Oh great! Now it’s partially on fire and it doesn’t seem to care! Pinkie! You’re a baker! What do we need to do to fight a monster made a marshmallow?”
Pinkie Pie screeched as she attempted to put out the tip of her mane that has caught fire. “Sorry, Applejack, I’m terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.”
Twilight placed a hoof to her mouth and shouted. “We may have made a deal not to use them on Discord, but we can still use them on his abominations! Everypony group up, we’ll blast it with the Elements!”
The creature’s tail emerged from the lake. With a surprisingly swift motion if came crashing down on the shore. The ponies attempted to scatter but the sheer size of the creature’s tail covered most of the shore. Pinkie Pie jumped towards the boiling lake, only to somehow skip across it like a stone, yelping with pain. Rarity grabbed on to what was left of Applejack’s tail as the farm pony sprinted off to the edge of the shore. Shining Armor rolled into a skid to avoid the splatter of the impact. Wind Strider scooped up a frightfully paralyzed Fluttershy and galloped in the opposite direction from Applejack.
But one pony was in the center of the creature’s strike. Luna shouted, her eyes streaming with tears as she raced forward with speed that put Rainbow Dash to shame. “Twilight!” Luna collided with the purple pony. With a mighty shove, the alicorn pushed the unicorn out of harm’s way. The creature’s tail crushed the alicorn.
The world fell silent. In painfully slow motion Twilight watched the marshmallow mass engulf Luna. The rocky cavern ground fractured underneath the massive tail’s weight. The sickening sound of every bone snapping rang in everypony’s ears. A stray midnight blue feather floated by Twilight’s snout. When the tail lifted back up, the ponies were greeted to a glimpse of Luna’s bloody body, stuck to the creature’s tail. Rarity screamed, breaking the silence. The creature’s tail, along with Luna’s limp body receded back into the boiling lake.
Sound returned in full shortly after. The creature’s roar and the sound of the boiling lake jostled everypony back to their senses. Shining Armor shivered. “Holy buck. Princess.” His eyes met Twilight’s from across the cavern. “She saved you, Twily.” Twilight nodded silently in response. He turned to face the creature and shouted. “You’ll harm not a single pony more as long as I draw breath, monster!” His horn flared and cracked, a magical explosion blasting a chunk of the creature’s face clean off. Twilight’s own blast peeled more marshmallow flesh of the creature. The serpent inhaled, its maw dripping with flaming goo. Rearing its rapidly reforming head back it prepared a blast of its own. “We’re in for it now!”
“Come on, fly-colt, with me!” Rainbow Dash tugged at Wind Strider taking off with the guardspony into the airspace around the creature’s head. “Over here! Get us ya overgrown jump rope!” The two pegasi buzzed around the creature; its mouth attempting to snap at them fruitlessly.
“Look! It’s distracted by Rainbow and Strider’s maneuvers, we might have a chance!” Twilight said.
“Then stop the chatter and turn up the blasting!” Rainbow shouted back. “For Princess Luna!”
Pinkie Pie approached the array of cannons that the Minimarshmillions had been using before. She began to light the fuses using a match she produced from her mane. “No pony hurts my friends!” She sniffed, brushing her deflated mane out of her eyes. “For Princess Luna!”
The creature roared, brining chunks of the ceiling down with it. Its flesh seemed to bubble back with each blast that removed it. “This isn’t working!” Applejack shouted. “We need something with more oomph!” A torrent of flaming marshmallow rained on the shore once more. The creature’s tail emerged from the lake again, ready to strike.
Twilight turned her attention to the tail, focusing her blasts on the tail. Shining Armor shouted. “No, Twily! We need to focus the head!”
Twilight wiped her eyes, ignoring her brother. “Come on, Crescent Flank.” Her magic flung little chunks of flaming sugar everywhere. “Where are you?” The tail reached higher, casting a shadow over the shore again. “Come on!” It raced downward in Twilight’s direction. “Stop playing and get up!” Shining Armor shouted for Twilight to move, but she did not seem to hear him. As the tail neared the pony it exploded into several fragments.
Princess Luna burst out of the creature’s flesh, splintering the tail as she did so. Her eyes were a fierce glowing green and her left front leg was broken badly, showing a marshmallow covered bone protruding at the knee. “Thou willest not find that darkness art such a force that art so easily vanquished.” Luna’s good leg outstretched as she flew forward. Her hoof sliced into the marshmallow flesh, cleaving off a large chunk of the creature. The serpent moaned and fell to the ground in a cloud of dust and chocolate. “Thou willest find, however, that we art verily… pissed.”
“It’s a Hearth’s Warming Eve miracle!” Pinkie Pie shouted, her mane popping back to its normal curly style.
“What took so long? You had me scared half to death!” Twilight shouted.
“Reanimation is a painfully slow process.” Luna said as she snapped her fractured leg back into place. She winced in pain and fell from the sky. The alicorn dropped next to Twilight. The purple pony place a hoof around the larger pony and shook her head.
“Will you be alright? You should probably rest.” Twilight whispered softly.
“Would somepony around here explain what in tarnation is going on?” Applejack shouted.
Luna coughed out a pile of blood and wheezed. Twilight rubbed a hoof on the blue pony’s withers. “Princess Luna and her sister are immortal. Like Discord. Death for them is really more of a very painful inconvenience.” Twilight knelt down next to Luna and moved to give her a small kiss on the cheek, only to find that most of her cheek was missing and a bloody mess. “Though until now I didn’t realize how painful.” She watched as the flesh knit itself back together slowly, Luna wincing and moaning with each fiber rejoining.
A low growl shook the ponies out of their stupor. Rainbow turned around to watch the serpent’s viscous mass reform. “Looks like the Princess isn’t the only one that doesn’t know when to stay down.” The creature receded into the lake for a moment. Emerging again looking as terrifying as it did when it first appeared. “What does it take to defeat this thing? Fire? Magic? Twilight! We’ve got to use the Elements!”
Rarity shouted back up at the pegasus. “It takes too long to power them up! The Midgrad will never give us the chance!”
“Wind Strider and I can keep it busy!” Rainbow said as she gave the serpent a kick, drawing its attention.
“Except you need to be down here with us to use to the Elements!” Applejack bellowed back. “Maybe ya can cleave it in two with ya speed like the Princess did? Then we won’t waste that time basking in your unbelievable feat and start charging the Elements instead?”
“Can do! Wind Strider don’t let it swat me out of the sky while I get ready!” Rainbow reared back. The creature’s mouth opened and forked tongue lashed out, smacking Wind Strider out of the sky.
“Commander!” Shining Armor shouted, he jumped off the ground and caught the falling pony with his magic. “Fool, you always forget to watch your blind spots.” Rainbow Dash raced forward, her hoof extended as Luna had done. Shining Armor shouted. “Rainbow Dash, wait! The Commander is badly burned. The monster’s flesh is like lava, you’ll not survive touching it if you try and cleave it like the Princess did.”
“Then what? How did Luna do it?”
The alicorn stood up. “Immortality has its benefits.” The Princess’s wings flared out.
“Luna, don’t push yourself.” Twilight said as she placed her hoof on the alicorn’s withers.
Luna smiled. “We hardly have that luxury.” The alicorn lifted off the ground, her feathers seemingly growing back as she flapped her wings. Stretching a hoof out again, she raced forward. While the beast’s attention was focused on Rainbow Dash, Luna cleaved through the creature’s jaw. The lower jaw of the serpent swung downwards causing the monster to gurgle uncontrollably. The alicorn swerved into the cavern wall, her coat was on fire. She coughed as she breathed in the smoke from her burning flesh, sliding down the wall in agony. The creature’s mouth began to reform as Luna pushed off the wall for another pass. She was met with encouraging cheers from the ponies on the ground as she tore through the creature’s center.
“A solid hit!” Shining Armor commented with pride. “A few more hits like that and it will be too weak to fight back! Twily, get the Elements ready!”
Twilight shouted. “Rainbow Dash, get down here!”
The creature’s upper half began to slide down its back. The head flopped backwards stretching the marshmallow goo as it detached. As the head falling revealed the center of the creature’s neck, Rainbow Dash spied a familiar face in the goo. Number Forty-Seven’s tiny head was visible, his body merged with the rest of the creature. The tiny mouth of Number Forty-Seven unleashed a high pitched wail. “Minimarshmillions! The reject-queen is immune to our fire! She rebuilds her body with the same magic our Creator gave us! But we will not fail! Lord Discord gave us special instructions for the Moonbutted One! Let us sing the hymn of the moon!”
Tiny mouths opened all along the creature’s body as its head quickly reformed. From all along its body the voices of the Minimarshmillion swarm rang out. “All hail Lord Discord! Down with the Butt of Moons!”
Luna spat, a tooth falling from her decaying and reforming jaw. “How dare you speak to the Princess of the Night in such a fashion!?” She patted out the fire on her coat and braced herself for another dive. Rapidly she descended upon the creature. Her hoof cleaved through the creature’s flesh and she seared her own in the process. The tiny mouths along the creature’s body began to sing in a tongue that Rainbow could not understand. The swarm weaved a soaring melody of seemingly nonsensical words that echoed throughout the cave. Luna reoriented herself for another strike. She gritted her teeth, bracing herself for the pain of contact with the creature’s flesh. As she neared the creature she felt weary.
“Luna!” Twilight screamed as she watched the Princess fall from the sky, hitting the ground like a stone. The alicorn’s body bounced a few times before coming to a halt in front of Twilight. Twilight huddled over the Princess, rearing back when she saw the pony was muttering to herself fiercely.
Rarity galloped up next to Twilight. “What happened? Is she all right?”
“She’s having an episode.” Twilight said. “I’ve seen it before.”
“Is the swarm casting some sort of spell on her? Are we going to be affected too?”
Twilight shook her head. “No. It’s just singing. In the ancient tongue. Only Luna can understand it. But it’s probably vivid imagery of her time on the moon which set off her condition. She’s reliving her thousand year suffocation. All that pain and isolation flooding back to hurt her. It wasn’t enough that the creature killed her over and over again. While she was trying to protect me….” Twilight glanced upwards at the creature her eyes narrowing. “I’m very much done with this snake now.
Rarity watched as the creature swatted at Rainbow Dash with its head and nearly crushed Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie with its tail simultaneously. “But without Luna to injure it, how are we going to get it to hold still long enough so we can use the Elements against it?”
Twilight stood up. “We’re going about this the wrong way. We don’t need to defeat every monster that comes our way. Even if it hurts those closest to us. Let’s just get Cadence and get out of here! Like I said, I’m done with this thing now.” Twilight’s horn lit up. A burst of magic collided with the ceiling. The beam traced its way around where Cadence was dangling. Chunks of the cavern ceiling broke off and began to rain down on the creature. Rainbow Dash swerved to avoid the falling chunks. The pegasus nearly did a double take as she watched Twilight Sparkle teleport to each rock, slowly climbing up into the air, using the falling debris as a ladder. The creature swatted with its forked tongue at the unicorn as it passed by the creature’s maw. Twilight effortlessly teleported to the next rock nearing the unconscious Cadence. Rainbow Dash flew in front of the creature’s vision, an attempt to draw it away from Twilight as she made her leap to Cadence.
The creature roared, rumbling the whole cavern. Twilight’s concentration failed and her leap was mistimed. She narrowly missed Cadence; her face falling to a terrified expression as her body tumbled freely in the air. The monster let out a sputtering hiss. It was laughing. Twilight felt anger well up inside her. Twilight’s horn lit up again. Narrowing her eyes she fired a burst directly at the rope that held Cadence to the ceiling. She smiled at the rope gave way with a satisfying snap. She felt herself tumble horn over hoof as she fell. The creature continued to laugh, shaking the whole cave.
“I got ya!” Rainbow said as she swooped up and grabbed Twilight out of the air.
“Cadence!” Twilight reached out, but Rainbow was carrying her heading off in opposite direction. As Cadence was nearing the boiling lake Shining Armor galloped forward. His horn lit up, fractures splintering along its surface. With a flash of light he teleported to Cadence, catching her in his hooves. Another flash of light teleported them back to the ground. He gently laid his unconscious wife down on the cavern floor before collapsing from exhaustion himself.
The serpent turned to face the group of ponies on the ground. The singing stopped as it opened its maw wide in rage. The snake thrashed about, tearing the cavern to pieces.
Twilight stood up and adjusted the tiara on her head. “It’s now or never girls.” Her eyes exploded with light as her tiara formed a ribbon of rainbow tinted light. Her friends each stood by her side, their faced determined. The serpent charged forward, its mouth dripping with molten chocolate goo. The creature’s bottomless gullet was visible as it neared the ponies. A rainbow of light spiraled down the serpent’s throat, blasting it backwards.
Tiny explosions from the inside began to tear the creature apart. It dissolved in the chocolate, melting with screams and whines as the Minimarshmillion swarm was vaporized. The marshmallow creatures popped off serpent’s body, turning into inanimate air puffed marshmallows as the rainbow passed through them. “No!” A tiny creature pulled itself from the fracturing form. Shining Armor recognized it as the leader of the swarm. In a sudden rumbling, the room exploded in bust of rainbow light and marshmallow. The ponies shielded their eyes as the confection plastered the room.
Twilight shook the marshmallow from her eyes. “Yuck.” She said as she attempted to refocus her vision.
On the other side of the lake a high pitched screech bellowed. “You! Purple giant! You have killed my swarm! You have murdered my family! Today I swear vengeance! I am Number Forty-Seven and I will be back!” The creature shook its miniscule fist. “I will return to the well of the Gelatin! I will harvest more pony souls and bones! I will raise a new army and I will return to rain a day of sugar and woo! Er… whoa? WOE! I will rain down an unearthly army of sugar and woe upon you and your friends and your family and your lover!” The creature screamed, its tiny mouth opening the entire length of its body. “We will have our revenge!” Number Forty-Seven shouted loudly. “I am gifted with stupid-e-or intellect! You giants will bow be for the dark and freighting might of Number Forty-S…!” The tiny marshmallow creature was scooped up by a large spider that had been hiding in the darkness. The spider’s mandibles ground the marshmallow a few times before the spider walked away with its meal.
“Huh. Guess mah tail wasn’t filling enough.” Applejack mused.
Discord flashed into existence directly outside of the gilded doors to palace in Canterlot. He frowned when he noticed that the image of Celestia’s rear end he had painted apparently been cleaned off. Everypony’s a critic. He mused. It really had been a lovely piece of art, it was a pity its subject matter did not agree. His eyes climbed up the doors. Even from his standing position, which caused him normally to tower over ponies, alicorn sized or not, the doors were huge. Of course he could have simply teleported inside the castle, but that would have denied him the pleasure of bursting through the doors dramatically. “Oh Tia! You have some explaining to do!”
Discord’s eyes danced around the room. The castle was silent and immaculate. Not how he had left it. He distinctly remembered that the chandelier had been coming out of the floor, not the ceiling. What a boringly predictable place for it. He thought to himself. His hat dissolved off his head and he shouted. “Celestia! Oh, you’ve redecorated. I don’t like it.” He chuckled darkly and snapped his fingers. He flashed out of existence and the reappeared in the same spot.
“Odd.” He said, scratching his beard. He snapped his fingers again and blinked to the same spot once more. “Very odd. I can’t seem to enter the throne room.”
“Oh. You’re back.” A cold, even voice echoed throughout the dark foyer. “The throne room is currently off limits. My repairs to it have not finished. It was in complete disarray from someone’s antics.”
“Celestia?” Discord asked with a slight tremble to his voice. Of course he was not scared, but she sounded off. She was too calm, even for her, but especially when she was talking to him. He had always liked the fact that he could ruffle her feathers just by speaking to her. “Where are you?”
“You arrived sooner than expected.” Said the voice. “Promptness has never been your strong suit. I can’t be at fault for expecting to have more time to finish preparing.”
Discord took a few steps forward down the dark red carpet. “I’ll admit you’re surprising me as well, Celestia. Undoing my pranks. Countering my spells. You have been busy.” He awaited a response. When none came he smiled. The earlier trepidations from being caught off guard vanishing. He found himself unconsciously levitating again, forgetting to walk. “I half expected you to be waiting here for me in the foyer. Hooves splayed out, ready to charge; soused with whatever magical artifact you’re using to counter my spells. Why don’t you come out and we’ll discuss this face to face.”
“Things are almost ready. I apologize for the wait. It is always my personal goal to provide all citizens with prompt service.” The voice said.
Discord could hear stone grinding on the other side of the hallway walls. “Oh, I’m a citizen now? What are you going to do? Charge me back-taxes?” Discord laughed, but found himself back to walking down the hallway. He only forgot to levitate when something was worrying him. Something was wrong. Her behavior was off. “So. You’ve obviously acquired some powerful artifact. Which one is it? No, don’t tell me, let me guess. It’s clearly affecting your mind. So it must be….” He placed his ear against the wall and listened to the screeching stone. “What in in the name of chaos are you doing back there? Putting the castle back together? You know I had just gotten everything the way I wanted it.” He glanced upwards to the chandelier, disappointed it was not positioned on the floor.
“We will begin shortly. Please adjourn to the waiting room until your appointment time.”
“Waiting room? Please.” Discord crossed his arms and snorted. “Enough, Celestia. I’m not one of your foreign ambassadors. I demand an audience. You obviously want to see me. You wouldn’t have gone through the trouble of undoing my pranks to get my attention if you didn’t want….” The room shook. The red carpet he was standing on fell into a pitch black pit as the floor opened up. “Wha…?” Discord’s wings instinctively flapped as he floated of the ground. He stared at the pit as the rug faded away into darkness. He felt his temper rise. He had not been expecting a trap door and he was upset that he was actually using his wings instead of levitating.
“Please proceed to the waiting room.” The voice said in its even monotone.
“How rude, Celestia! Literally pulling the rug out from under me!” He looked down at the pit he was hovering over and scoffed. “I see what you’re trying to do, by the way. You’re trying to unnerve me with all this mysteriousness. Perhaps you forget who you’re talking to! I’m Discord! Mind games were practically invented by me! It won’t work.”
“Should you need help finding your way to the waiting room, the castle staff will be delighted to attend to your needs.”
Discord roared with laughter. “Yes! Do send in the bellhops! I’m sure…!” He reared back as the floor and walls rose up to swallow him. The sound of stone impacting stone thundered through his skull as he found himself boxed in, the pit below him. “Or that… You could do that too….” He glanced upwards as he heard the sound of metal sliding. The chandelier had morphed into a mass of pikes and was thrusting downwards. “Oh my….”
He found himself falling, tumbling down the dark tube. The wounds inflicted by the chandelier faded away into his fur. He frowned as she plummeted. He should not have even gotten a scratch. He hated being caught off guard. When he finally hit the ground he found himself in a span of darkness.
“Here we are. Wait just one more moment please. Your patience is appreciated.” The voice said.
Discord stood up and dusted himself off. Pausing a moment to fix his goatee and eyebrows. He cleared his throat. “Celestia,” he began. “Stop.” He snapped his fingers and the room lit up. He recognized immediately where he was, the dungeon underneath the castle. He was staring at the pedestal where he had once been perched, back when he was a statue. “Poetic.” He snorted. “You don’t think I’m going to just climb up on there and turn myself to stone do you? Really, Celestia. Is this your master plan?” His arm outstretched, gesturing towards the pedestal. “Perhaps you’ll regal me of a tale about somepony I’ve hurt, expecting me to see the error of my ways and repent?”
It was quite for a moment. Discord rolled his eyes a few times, awaiting a response. His arm grew tired and he let it drop to his side. “You know you’re no fun to taunt if you don’t talk back.” The room rumbled slightly. Discord instinctively levitated. “Well this has been… enjoyable. Truly. But I’d like my new kingdom back now, so show yourself and let’s get this over with. This entire rising up against me, undoing my spells, acting quite frankly bonkers and downright creepy? This is all strictly not part of my plans for the day so.” The rumbling stopped for a moment only to pick up again much louder. “You’re interrupting a very important date with your student, you know? I dare say I might have left her with the check.”
“There we go.” The voice said, a sadistic cheer in its tone. The room changed. The lights turned up to a blinding yellow. With the thunderous sound of stone on stone the walls rearranged themselves. The pedestal sank into the floor, vanishing from sight. The room shrunk as the walls moved. “I’ve gotten everything set up. Let’s get started. Shall we?” The wall Discord was facing slid into the floor, producing an exit to the room. “You can forget about Twilight Sparkle for the moment. Now it’s just you. And me.” There was a small chuckle underlying the last two words that sent a shiver up Discord’s spine.
He lifted his claw and threatened to snap. “Alright. Enough.”
“We’re going to play a game. You and I. A battle of wits and magic. Please proceed into the next room to hear the rules.”
“We most certainly are not going to…” He paused a moment. “Play a game, you say?” He floated towards the entrance. “I have no reason to play by your rules…. Except…” He frowned. “Curiosity. Well played, Celestia. Well played.” His face turned into the head of a cat. He crossed through the entryway and watched as it closed up behind him.
“Very good. I wasn’t sure if you were capable of following simple directions. Now I know you can.”
Discord looked up at the ceiling. He couldn’t see Celestia, but he assumed she had some sort of scrying power that let her seem him. “There’s unbridled anger underneath the calm of your voice. You must be using an artifact that grants power at the cost of sanity. The Feather of Anil, perhaps? No… no… And… hm….” He scratched his beard. “Ah, and you’ve cast a tranquility spell on yourself to slow maddening the process. Well done. You do know of course I will only be playing this game as long as it continues to entertain me? You better have something quite special up your sleeve.”
“The object of the game is simple. Locate me and remove the amulet from around my neck.” The voice said.
“Ah the Alicorn Amulet! Of course. I had forgotten about that one. Very dangerous, I approve. And what stakes are we playing for, hm? Games aren’t worth playing without stakes. Obviously I get to remove your source of power. And what do you want from me? Relinquish the kingdom?”
“Terminate your deal with Twilight and her friends.”
“Ah, so you can hear me. I was wondering if you just got picture up wherever it is you’re hiding. So we’re playing for the highest stakes I see. Each other’s freedom. For if I lose…” Discord frowned. “There will be nothing to stop your student and her entourage from turning me back to stone.”
“Shall we play?”
“Of course, there’s no way you’ll be able to enforce the stakes of the game, should I… well. I won’t lose. But should… well. It will never happen. But look at me, having the decency to let you know up front that the stakes only matter from your side.” Discord smiled and nodded to himself. “Being around all these goody-four shoes must be rubbing off on me.” He stroke his beard. “Still, might be worth a laugh or two…. It’s been so long since you and I have played anything. Very well. I’ll play your little game.”
“Play will consist of turns. First you shall go. Then I will respond.”
Discord crossed his arms and pouted. “I’m familiar with the concept of a turn. I just don’t like taking them.”
“During your turn you will try to advance to my unknown position.”
“You’re obviously hiding in the throne room. It’s why I couldn’t teleport there. Really, Celestia.” Discord shook his head and dismissively clicked his tongue.
“During my turn I will cast a counter spell to prevent your next action. The game begins now. Escape the room and find me.”
“Such a pity. And here I thought you were going to be fun. This game will be over in a matter of seconds.” He snapped his fingers and teleported out of the dull gray room only to find himself in a similar, yet clearly different room.
“Well done. You’ve trapped yourself in a door-less, windowless room made of stone. Excellent progress. I give you a gold star.”
“I assume your turn was to redirect my teleport to this room?” Discord snickered. “Well then I’ll just….” He snapped his fingers. Nothing happened.
“Oh. Did I forget to tell you a rule of the game? You cannot use the same spell, trick, or tactic twice. I’m terribly sorry. I’m sure it must be frustrating to have a game master who tells you the rules whenever they feel like it.”
“Your personal attack is noted.” He said with a chuckle. “This game is boring. I don’t want to play.”
“I apologize. I thought a game based on magical creativity would be something you’d like. A challenge. Since you tend to be rather… predictable.”
He ground his teeth. “Unlike you, I don’t need validation to know that I am the best at what I do. Insulting me will not get me to play.”
“Very well then. Here, I’ll open the quitter’s door.” One of the walls of the room slid down into the ground, exposing the outside of the castle. “Take a step right through there and forfeit. You’ll be presented with a participation certificate thanking you for playing and enumerating all the ways you are a worthless, frightened quitter.”
Discord shouted. “I know what you’re doing. You’re doing exactly what I do to get inside some pony’s head.” He burst out laughing. “And it’s working beautifully! How far will you stoop to fight me? Very well! Let the games begin!”
Celestia chuckled as the quitter’s door closed, casting the stone room into darkness. “Let the games begin.”
The soft rumble of the airship was a comforting sound for the weary ponies that were resting inside it. The sun was just beginning to set and the porthole into Princess Luna’s cabin was bathed in the orange glow of the twilight hour. Outside pink cotton candy clouds slowly faded back to normal, more evidence that Discord’s hold on the world was lessening.
Twilight Sparkle was sitting next to Princess Luna, her muzzle tentatively hovering near the alicorn’s feathers. She shook her head slowly as she brought her mouth to the wing. Her lips curled around the feathers, straightening the wing’s secondary feathers. Luna’s unattended wing twitch and spread out to its full length. Twilight’s checks flushed and she let go of the feather. “Behave yourself or I’ll tell Pinkie you’d rather her do this.” Twilight said quietly.
“I don’t even understand why she would offer. As if she would know anything about cleaning marshmallow out of feathers.” Luna chuckled.
“I don’t know why you insisted on me instead. I don’t have wings. I don’t really know about these things either.” Twilight blushed as she fixed another feather. “Well. I know why you wanted me to do this.” Her face flushed again. “But just because I agreed to this doesn’t mean you should get any ideas.”
“I’m not!” Luna put on adorable pout that cause Twilight to roll her eyes. “I swear my intentions are very pure. I simply need help getting all this gunk out of my feathers. I’d normally use magic to do so but….” Luna batted her eyes at the purple pony a few times. Twilight giggled and went back to her work. Several moments passed in relative silence. Twilight’s magic peered back the feathers allowing her muzzle to work each primary by itself. When she was finished cleaning the wing she carefully put the feathers back in order. She paused a moment before moving on to the next wing.
“Luna….” She began almost inaudibly. “I uh. I’m sorry.”
Luna turned around to face the unicorn. “You don’t need to say anything, Twilight. It’s alright.”
Twilight looked down at the ground. Her ears were pressed tightly against the side of her face. “No. I do. I said a lot of nasty things.”
Luna put a hoof around “You were worried about your brother and sister-in-law. It’s alright I understand that.”
Twilight shook her head, her eyes tightly held shut. “No. It went beyond that. Like when I said that you didn’t risk anything for me when you rescued me from Storm Dancer.” Twilight’s shoulder sagged as she let out a deep sigh. “It’s true that with your immortality you can’t ever really risk your life for anypony. But… I… this time when you charged forward to protect me I could see the pain on your face. Just because you can’t die doesn’t mean you can’t risk more than possible to show your… devotion.” Twilight’s eyes welled up. “And I should never expect you to be giving that much anyway. It’s childish of me. It’s selfish of me. It’s… exactly what I was accusing you of being. I’m sorry. I’ve been a terrible friend to you. I let Discord’s tricks and antics get to me and I took it out on you.”
Luna held Twilight tightly. “That is why he’s called the Spirit of Disharmony, Twilight. You don’t need to apologize. But if you wish to, I will gladly and gratefully accept it.”
“Thank you. Thank you for being so forgiving.” Twilight dabbed at her tears. “Um. I should probably go and check on Princess Cadence. She’s probably been through a lot. Being captured by Discord, tied up, magically put into a coma, and hung upside down over a boiling pit.” Twilight reached to door frame and awkwardly smiled. “Heh. Yeah. Need to go check on her. So uh….”
Luna pursed her lips. “So, are we…? Uh. Good?”
Twilight turned away. “We’re better. Not quite back there yet. We have a lot still to talk about. And we’ll talk about all that stuff soon. I promise.” Twilight smiled sheepishly and then turned to exit the room.
“Twilight,” Luna began. “Thank you.”
Twilight did not turn back to face the alicorn, she only whispered as quietly as she could. “Thanks, Crescent Flank.”
Luna smiled. Her hearing had always been rather good.