Ralph ran beside Sigma. "Did you see which way Bill-John went?"
Sigma raised her eyebrow. “Yeah, and I’m pretty sure you did, too.”
“Well, of course I did! I was just, uh… Making sure you were paying attention…”
Sigma sighed. “Sugarcube Corner.”
“I actually do appreciate you telling me that, Sigma.”
“I’m surprised you remembered my name.”
“Who are you?”
Sigma glared at Ralph.
“I’m only kidding! Can’t a pony have some fun without being given a death-stare?”
“Well, we’re here.”
Ralph admired the building. “It really does look like a giant pastry.”
“I thought we already went over that.” Sigma was about to walk inside when Ralph licked the wall next to the door. “Did you just…?”
Ralph’s eyes went wide. “Oh my Celestia!”
“You’re an idio-” Sigma was cut off by Ralph.
“We’d be lucky if the food in there is even half as good as that!”
Sigma stared at Ralph. “Are you kidding me?”
“Not at all!” Ralph licked the wall again. “Even better the second time! Compliments to the carpenter!”
“I think I’m gonna be sick…”
“Maybe a third lick will do the trick.”
Sigma grabbed Ralph and pushed him into Sugarcube Corner. “Just get inside before I throw up.”
“Did you hear that just then?” Ralph was smiling wide.
“Hear what?”
“I just rhymed!”
“Yeah… I noticed…” Sigma pointed to a table. “There’s your friend.”
“Bill-John!”
Bill-John looked at Ralph. “Ralph! Good to see you again!” He turned his attention to Sigma. “And you even brought Sigma along! What a pleasant surprise!”
Ralph sat down next to Bill-John, and Sigma sat across from them. “I’m surprised nopony is hurt, Bill-John.” Sigma looked around.
“Why would anypony be hurt?” Bill-John looked confused.
“You looked like you were gonna beat somepony up before you ran here.”
“I did? Well, I can look like a lot of things, Sigma.”
Ralph gasped. “You never told me you were a changeling, Bill-John!”
“Changeling!? Where!?” Bill-John dove under the table.
Sigma facehoofed. “You two clowns must have been on the wrong train; the travelling circus is in Manehattan.”
“We’re not clowns!” Ralph was offended.
“Oh?”
“Yeah! We’re not wearing clown makeup, idiot!”
Sigma’s jaw dropped. “Did you just say what I think you said…?”
Bill-John got off of the floor and sat back down next to Ralph. “Yeah; we’re not wearing clown makeup.”
Sigma’s expression changed to one of anger. “He just called me an idiot!” She lept over the table and started strangling Ralph.
“Aaaaahh!!! She’s gone mad!” Bill-John watched in horror as Sigma strangled his best friend. “Somepony help him!”
The pink pony with the crazy hair walked over with a milkshake. “Here’s your milkshake, sir.” She looked at Sigma and Ralph. “Oh no! Looks like somepony needs to learn how to smile!” The pink one started singing a song about making ponies smile.
The song ended up working; Sigma was now smiling while she strangled Ralph.
“It worked!” The pink pony smiled and walked away.
“But she’s still strangling my friend!” Bill-John looked at his milkshake. “I better drink this before it gets warm… And then I’ll save you, Ralph!” Bill-John took the milkshake and drank the whole thing. I did i- OOOOOOWWWW!!!!” Ralph held his head and fell to the floor, succumbing to what is known as a brain freeze.
Sigma stopped strangling Ralph and looked at Bill-John. “Bill-John…? Are you okay?”
“Aaaaaahhh!!! Noooo!!! Oh mother of Celestia!!!” Bill-John rolled around on the ground.
Ralph got on the floor and held his friend. “Bill-John, no!”
“Ralph, is that you!? I’m dying again!”
“Nnnnooooooooo!!!” Ralph threw his hooves into the air. “Whyyyyyy!?”
Sigma looked at the empty glass that previously contained Bill-John’s milkshake. “Oh, please; it’s just a brain freeze.”
“Somepony call for a doctor! I’m dying here!”
Pinkie (only guessing at a name here) came back with some pop rocks and a soda. “Here you go, Sigma.”
“How do you know my name?”
“I know everypony’s names, silly.” The pink pony walked away.
“That’s kinda creepy… But okay.” Sigma looked at the pop rocks and the glass of soda. “I didn’t even order these.”
Bill-John got up. “I can take them off of your hooves… For a price…”
“Why would I pay you to take these pop rocks and the soda that I didn’t even order?”
“Because you’re feeling generous today?”
“No.”
“Awww…” Bill-John lowered his head.
“It looks like you got over the brain freeze.” Sigma pointed at the pop rocks and soda. “Your prize is this stuff.”
“I win!” Bill-John opened the pop rocks and swallowed all of them, the drank the entire soda. Sigma just watched. “I don’t feel very good…”
“Well, you kinda just ate a whole pack of pop rocks and downed an entire glass of soda.”
“He does this all the time, Sigma.” Ralph patted Bill-John on the back. “Isn’t that right?”
“I’ve never done this before in my entire life.”
“Oh.”
Bill-John opened his mouth to speak, but an onslaught of popping came out instead.
“Bill-John, I can’t understand you. Speak pony, Bill-John! Pony!” Ralph shook Bill-John.
“He’s not even talking…” Sigma pulled Ralph away from Bill-John. “Do you even know what pop rocks are?”
“Not at all, Sigma.” Ralph shook Bill-John more. “Speak to me!”
Bill-John burped in Ralph’s face.
“Uuuuggh, Bill-John! What did you eat today?” Ralph stepped away from his popping crystal friend.
Sigma facehoofed for what seemed to be the thousandth time that day. “You’ve seen everything he has eaten, Ralph.”
The pink pony came back with an entire cake. “Here’s the cake you ordered. I made it with laughter and happiness.” She walked away.
“That’s impossible.” Sigma watched as she walked away.
“What’s impossible?” Ralph looked at Sigma.
“You don’t make cakes with laughter and happiness.”
“Well then, what do you make cakes out of?”
“Sugar, spice, eggs, flour, other things.”
“Other things?”
“Don’t question me.”
“Okay…”
Bill-John stopped popping. “Thanks, pink-one.” He ate the entire cake within ten seconds. “Mmm, that was goooood!” He then proceeded to hold his stomach and fall to the floor, where Ralph held him again. “Ooooohhh! My tummy! It huuuurts!”
“Bill-John! Are you pregnant!?” Ralph looked at Bill-John’s belly.
Sigma shook her head. “He’s not pregnant! He just ate an entire cake way too fast.”
“Ralph…” Bill-John looked up at Ralph.
“Yes, Bill-John?”
“I’m pregnant.”
Ralph teared up.
“And it’s yours.”
Sigma went silent and stared at the two crystal ponies. “What the hay are you talking about…?”
Ralph began to kiss Bill-John
Sigma’s jaw dropped. “OH, WHAT THE-!?”