The air in Sugarcube Corner was heavy with anticipation, pastry, and the smell of one sporting little girl who’d forgotten to shower that morning. The Cutie Mark Crusaders would undoubtedly never say to one another that they smelled, or even single out one of their own, but as they got ready to prepare some faerie cakes with their Faerie Filly friend, for the sake of equality they considered adding a bylaw to their rules that before any endeavour, all Cutie Mark Crusaders should apply a little spritz of deodorant under the wings.
Nevertheless, Pinkie Pie put on her baking cap and and cleared her throat to start the lesson. “Okay, girls -- and Will -- we have our ingredients stocked, locked, and ready to rock. How do we start?”
They all looked at the table in front of them. There was butter, some eggs, flour, lemons, gummy worms, potato chips, cola, and a creature that looked like a kangaroo rat with a lightning bolt on its tail.
“Raichu?” The thing asked.
No sooner had Pinkie Pie turned her head, and the thing disappeared into a white light before flashing out of existence altogether.
Scootaloo stared at the empty space. “Will, what was that?”
“I have no idea. Whatever it was, I’m pretty sure we don’t have those on my world.”
Pinkie Pie frowned. “We’d better hurry; I think Twilight might be closer to banishing you than we thought. So, what do we do first, girls?”
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle looked to Apple Bloom. The filly shrugged. “What?”
Sweetie Belle nodded towards the table.” You’ve done this before, you start.”
“Honestly, I don’t remember that much of making cupcakes. All I know is you need to take a cup of flour and you’re not supposed to put any lemons in it. Besides that, I only really remember a song.”
Will raised his eyebrow. “You took a baking lesson, and all you remember is a song?”
“Yup. It went by really fast, too.”
The Filly nodded knowingly. “Oh, right, I know what you mean. I’m not sure if I remember sleeping at all, or if the houses in town all stayed in the same spot compared to yesterday. It’s almost like this place has no sense of continuit-”
“-Let’s just get started making cupcakes, shall we?” Pinkie Pie interrupted. “The first thing you need to do is preheat the oven so it’s nice and toasty once the cupcakes go in.”
“Okay, what next?”
Will stared intently at the small bundles of pastry. The Cutie Mark Crusaders stared as well.
“So you start with preheating the oven, heat up some butter, sift flour into the butter, and whisk beaten eggs into it. If it splits, it needs more flour, right?”
Pinkie Pie nodded. “Yup. Then you just put them into the oven. Easy, right?”
Scootaloo nodded. “Easy peasy.”
Will ceased his intent staring and glared at Pinkie Pie. “And how long did this take, exactly?”
“About half an hour. Why do you ask?”
“Are you sure half an hour just passed? Because it feels like only a few seconds passed to me. It’s almost like time just bends around whatever you’re doing, especially when you start singi-”
“-Let’s decorate those cupcakes, shall we?” Pinkie Pie interrupted.
“And come to think of it, how is this okay with the owners? Did you pay them any mone-”
“-Here’s some frosting!”
Will gave up. Reason had no place in this land, and all the Homos who wanted to invade it could keep it for all he cared. As long as they didn’t bother his new friends, of course.
The girls took the spatulas from Pinkie and went to work coating the tops of their cupcakes in frosting. Will furrowed his brow.
“What’s wrong?” Scootaloo asked.
“I don’t know. What are you supposed to do to decorate these things?”
“Paint something on it,” Apple Bloom suggested. “Like apples.” She showed off her drawing skills, having put a red coat on the top of hers in an apple shape.
“Yeah, just put on something that’s, you know, you. Like musical notes.” Sweetie Belle held up one of her own, which had a chocolate musical note on it.
“Something you like very much. Like a scooter.” Scootaloo held up hers, which showed a grey kick scooter with white wheels.
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle frowned. Scootaloo shrugged. “What? I miss my scooter, okay? Sheesh.”
Will turned his attention back to the bare cupcakes. “Make it something that’s really me, huh? Like putting in a piece of myself?”
Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Not literally a piece of yourself, silly. Nopony likes getting hairs on their cupcakes, unless it’s a cotton candy hair. Ooh, do Faerie Fillies have cotton candy hair?”
“No, but I think I might know something that’d make it a Filly Faerie cake.” Will caught a look at some sugared mint leaves. He cut them in the shape of his wings, before applying a first layer of white frosting to his cakes. With expert brush strokes, he applied a second layer, this one golden.
The girls leaned in, ooh-ing at Will’s sudden and very much unexpected craftsponyship, or craftsfillyship, or craftsfaerieship. There wasn’t any pony with a dictionary cutie mark around to tell.
“I thought you said you weren’t that good with artsy stuff, Will?” Pinkie asked.
“I’m not. I’m just trying to make it look good.” Will added some red dots on top of the gold, to complete the resemblance to his crown. Once that was done, he pushed in the wing-shaped mint leaves. “There. That looks all right, doesn’t it?”
Sweetie Belle shook her head. “It doesn’t look finished yet. Would you give that to a girl?”
Will frowned. “Girl? What girl?”
“Any girl. Or any guy. Does that look special to you?”
Will looked the cupcakes over again. “No, I think you’re right. It does need a little something extra.”
Scootaloo dashed off and returned with a basket of cherries. “Here, put a cherry on top. That always works.”
Will did as was suggested, and smiled at the sight. “That does look a lot better.”
“I think it needs a bow,” Apple Bloom offered.
Scootaloo frowned. “A bow? Why would cupcakes need a bow?”
“Well, he wanted to make cupcakes as a present, right? Presents have bows on them.”
Will glared at Pinkie Pie for telling the girls about his reasons, but nodded. Apple Bloom put a small red bow -- one she kept as a spare, for emergencies -- on the plate of Filly Faerie cakes to complete the picture.
When it was all done, Will picked one of his cakes up and took a bite. Pinkie and the girls all followed suit when Will didn’t spit out his own work. He relished the soft, crumbly texture, the buttery flavour, and the few shots of sweetness when he hit the frosting.
“This is pretty good,” Will said. “What do you think, Pinkie Pie?”
Pinkie Pie smiled and tried one. “Hmm, I think they’re just perfect.”
The Cutie Mark Crusaders looked to their flanks after trying their own treats, and Will’s. Apple Bloom groaned. “Still no cutie marks, though.”
Will looked at the bottoms of his front hooves. “And I’m still here. I haven’t woken up yet. Maybe it wasn’t cupcakes I wanted to learn about.”
Pinkie Pie sighed. “I know it’s not, Will. There’s something you need to know, and I’m pretty sure that’ll wake you up.”
“Okay, then, say it. Why aren’t I awake yet?”
Pinkie gulped and flashed him a nervous smile. “I’m serious, Will. If you really want me to say it, you’re gonna be out of here pretty fast. Are you sure you want to hear it?”
The girls circled around him.
Will nodded. “Yes, please.”
Pinkie Pie bit her lower lip. “How old do you think Pumpkin Cake and Pound Cake are?”
“Umm, numbers don’t really work right for me, not in this world.”
Pinkie nodded and nudged him gently. “Just guess. How old, by your standards?”
Will thought it over for a moment. “Umm, babies, right? Not old enough to go to school yet?”
“Right. And Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Rumble? How old do you think they are?”
The girls all smiled brightly at him.
“I’d guess they’re school age, but very basic school, still? They learn how to count and read, and they do chores but they don’t have jobs to do?”
One by one, the Cutie Mark Crusaders nodded.
Pinkie Pie nodded in kind. “Good. How old are you, by your own standards?”
Will shrugged. “Not really a child anymore, not really an adult. I’m in still in school, but I’m allowed to do a little bit of work. For money, I mean.”
Pinkie Pie took a deep breath. “And how old do you think I am?”
The girls tensed up and looked to Pinkie Pie. There was a sense of realisation that fell over them.
“Same as me. Same as your friends, right?”
The girls were taken aback by that.
Pinkie Pie let that breath out in a deep sigh. “Will, I’m a grownup.”
“What?”
The mare looked him in the eyes, and did her best to sound as calm and collected as she could. “I’m a grownup. I’m old enough to live on my own, get a job, even get married. I’m older than you, Will, old enough to be your teacher. And so are my friends.”
Will shook his head in confusion. “But that can’t be right. You can’t be a grownup; you’re fun.”
Scootaloo frowned. “You don’t think grownups can have fun?”
“Well, no, how could they? They’ve got to take care of food, and money, and finding the right Filly to spend their lives with. They can’t have fun on top of all that.”
Pinkie Pie smiled in sympathy. “Maybe where you’re from, but I doubt it. I think maybe that’s why that spell you cast landed you here. You’re not scared of not making any friends; you’ve only been here for a few days and you already made friends. You’re just scared, period.”
Will grunted. “You’re wrong.”
Apple Bloom patted him on the back. “It’s okay, Will. Lotsa ponies get scared. Why, Fluttershy’s scared of her own shadow sometimes, and she’s an Element of Harmony.”
Will groaned and let his head hang dejectedly. “I don’t know. Maybe you’re right. But what am I supposed to do about it? You can’t just tell me not to worry about growing up; if it was that easy, I’d be doing it.”
Scootaloo pondered it for a moment. “Well, you can’t keep telling yourself it’s not gonna work. That’s just making excuses not to try anything at all. It’s one thing to think you can’t do something new, but it’s not the same as trying not to do anything just because you’re scared.” Her advice sounded like an echo, oddly enough, like the kind of thing somepony would be telling her one day when she’d forgotten.
Sweetie Belle nodded. “Uhuh. You just have to keep your head up high and try your best.”
“And what do I do when I feel scared? How do you deal with that?”
The girls had no answer to it. Pinkie Pie, however, did.
She put a cannon on his shoulder to comfort him. “Whenever you worry about money, or being alone, or feeling dumb, just do what I do.”
“What?”
“Smile.”
"Smile?"
Pinkie Pie nodded. "Smile. It won't make the problem go away, but, um, it helps make the fear go away. And when you're not as scared, it's a lot easier to make the problem go away, too."
Will felt her words go into his mind. Something about them resonated with him, awakening parts of his magic he hadn’t realised were there. The telltale sound of a blue box travelling through space, the thrum and hum of an extradimensional travel, filled the room.
Will smiled as he faded. “I think that might work. Thanks, Pinkie Pie. You really are the smartest pony around here. See you around, girls.”
With that, he was gone. No trace of him remained, not even a crumb that had gotten stuck on his mouth.
“Scootaloo, are you crying?” Apple Bloom asked.
The pegasus filly wiped her eyes. “No, I’m not! It’s hot in here and my eyes are sweaty!”
“You mean like the rest of you? Pee-yew, Scootaloo, you need a shower.” Sweetie Belle waved her hoof in front of her nose.
“I already told you: I’m not used to walking as much, okay?”
Pinkie didn’t interrupt the argument. She had done what she’d needed to do, and given a Funtasian Faerie Filly a much-needed pep-talk. In the end, it was nothing more than an acute case of teenage angst. He’d make plenty of friends, though, surely, same as Rainbow Dash or Scootaloo had. And even if he didn’t think he was as special as they were, he would at least be able to stand proudly among them, and cheer them up in their weakest hours.
And given said friends would also be teenagers with their own issues, one of the issues being magic, there’d be a weakest hour about once a week, probably.
Yes, Will would be fine. Pinkie Pie could rest easily.
Then again, it wouldn’t hurt to do a check-up on him, right?
“Honestly, Will, I don’t see how you managed to pass that sigil test,” Rose started. A pink Unicorn Filly with a white mane and tail, both decorated with her titular flowers, she was something of a magic geek, but not the competent kind. She knew the obscure magics better than anyone in class, but the deceptively simple task of turning her classmates into frogs was still beyond her. On top of that, her voice was always calm and collected, sounding far too adult for her age, so much so it was unsettling at times. Still, she wasn’t grating to listen to, once one got used to it.
“I don’t see how you managed to fail that,” Will retorted. “It’s one of the easiest forms of chaos magic there is.”
“But it’s still chaos magic. That’s hard no matter how you look at it,” Lynn, a dark pink Filly Witchy with an orange and white mane and tail, argued. As a Wind Witchy Filly, she wore a green cape that held her magic, but so far no one had really seen her properly demonstrate any of her skills. It didn’t seem to bother her much, though. Scootaloo would have liked her, Will felt. They even sounded alike, though Will hadn’t spotted Lynn trying any kind of racing just yet.
“I guess. So what’s our next class?” Will asked.
Rose’s magic held a note in front her face as the trio strode down the corridors. “Classical warfare.”
Will winced. “Oh no, Cedric’s gonna get out his rapier again, isn’t he? I swear, if it wasn’t for the safeties, he’d poke so many holes in me I’d look like a changeling.”
“What’s a changeling?” Lynn asked.
“Never mind. Who’s the professor? Twilight again?”
“It says here we have three different parts of the course, and each one has a separate teacher. It says here Twilight’s going to teach us magical defense, and then Twilight will teach us the history of magical warfare.” Rose furrowed her brow in confusion.
Will frowned and looked at the note just as they were about to exit the hall. “Really? It says Twilight twice? What’s the third part?”
They went out into the courtyard where their warfare lesson would be. Several things became apparent to the Fillies then.
Firstly, they were early. None of their other classmates were present yet.
Secondly, today’s lesson, and the third part of the course in general, would involve artillery, more specifically cannons.
Thirdly, Miss Twilight had brought another teacher along. Miss Twilight was, of course, a teacher at the Royal Academy, and a Faerie Filly, though her wings looked more like leaves than Will’s did, veins and everything. She was green, had a blonde tail and a mane that was done up to make her look taller, she had dark purple hooves, and she wore glasses. She also had a white eight-pointed star on her forehead. In short, she looked nothing like Twilight Sparkle, the purple pony with wings and horn Will had met on his dream voyage.
And he could examine the differences quite clearly, because standing right next to Twilight was Twilight. Twilight was busy explaining something to Twilight when she spotted the three friends.
“Come along, now. This is Princess Twilight Sparkle, but if I understand correctly she’s still just a Miss Sparkle by our standards. She’ll be teaching you about warfare history. Don’t mind her physique; she is from the magical land of Equestria and she’s assured me her body shape is considered normal there. Even the gangly legs and the bulging egg-shaped eyes.”
“Hi,” the alicorn greeted. “Yes, it seems there are quite a few differences between our worlds. Now, Twilight, what were you saying about giant attacks?”
Twilight nodded. “Oh, yes, that’s part of what this class is for. Some of our students have royal obligations, military ones, and they need to know what to do in case of a giant attack.”
“What kind of giant attack?” Twilight asked again.
“Just any giant attack, really,” Twilight answered casually.
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “And by ‘giant attack’ you mean, what exactly?”
“A giant,” Twilight explained,” attacking.”
“A giant what?” Twilight asked, confused.
“Attacking,” Twilight replied, questioning the girl’s credentials for the fifth time that day. Truth be told, she was starting to think Equestrians would just put a crown on anyone, and coming from a Funtasian that was a very powerful sentiment.
“No, I mean a giant what? A giant spider? A giant dog? A giant centipede?” Twilight persisted.
Twilight narrowed her eyes. “A giant giant.”
The three Filly friends watched the scene unfold.
“Hey, Will!” A figure jumped into existence right next to the black Filly.
“Gah! Pinkie Pie? What are you doing here?”
Pinkie pointed to the artillery line. “I’m here to teach you how to handle cannons, silly!” She winced when she got a close look at his face. "Hey, what happened to your eyebrow?"
Will touched his left eyebrow with a hoof. His eyebrow seemed cut in half. "Oh, that? That's just a scar, it doesn't hurt that much. It just itches."
"What happened?"
"Nothing, Pinkie Pie. I've had it for years, I guess I just forgot about it in that dream thing."
The light pink Unicorn Filly regarded the pink pony. “You’re a certified teacher?” Rose asked.
“Well, I am certified, and I am a teacher, so yeah!” Pinkie replied cheerfully. “Who are your friends, Will?”
Will waved a hoof towards the Filly fillies flanking him. “This is Rose and Lynn. Rose is a Unicorn Filly, and Lynn is a Witchy Filly. You can tell by the horn and the cape, you see. Rose, Lynn, this is Pinkie Pie. She’s that figment of my imagination I told you about.”
The girls didn’t reply. Their brains were too busy trying to work out exactly how many rules of reality this mare was breaking just with her presence. For Pinkie Pie, it was par for the course.
“So you’re real?” Rose finally managed to ask. “And you’re an Equestrian?”
“Yup!” Pinkie Pie replied with a cheer. “I’m from the magical land of Equestria, just like Twilight. Well, not the sparkly one. Oh, Will, I just remembered: Scootaloo and her friends wanted me to give you a message.”
“Really? What’s the message?”
“She said she wanted you to know she’s found a way to fly, even if her wings are too small for now.”
“Oh, she figured it out? What did she do?”
Right at that moment, three of the cannons fired, sending three little girls hurtling towards the target set up at the other end of the courtyard.
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS LIVING CANNONBALLS YAY!”
Lynn and Rose stood flabbergasted as, somehow, the girls landed unharmed. The helmets may have had something to do with it.
Rose turned to Lynn. As was her habit, she stated the obvious. “These Equestrians are crazy.”
Will chuckled. “Well, you can’t really blame them. They do come from a very, very silly place.”