//------------------------------// // 223. Celestia's Beard by Knight of Cerebus // Story: The Sun and the Stars: A Twilestia Prompt Collab // by Fuzzyfurvert //------------------------------// by Knight of Cerebus *** "No! No! No! No!" Twilight flopped down with a sigh. "What's the matter, Twilight?" Spike crested the top of the library stairs, carrying a plate of nachos with him. "Spike," Twilight sighed, "I told you if you keep eating everything you feel like like that you're going to get fat. You won't be able to keep up with the girls and I if you do." Spike rolled his eyes, popping a nacho in his mouth. "And I told you casting magic at things doesn't solve your problems. So do you want to tell me why you're currently an octopus?" Twilight flopped her arms in exasperation, returning to her original equine form with another sigh. "I've been altering my brain through transformation and reform spells since after breakfast, but none of the new bodies or mindsets have done anything for me." Her voice raised in volume over the course of the last sentence, ending in a half-hearted whine by the time she had stopped speaking. Upon seeing Spike's worried glance, she said. "Don't worry. None of the spells have any lasting psychological effects. I triple checked. I may be desperate, but I am still me." Spike's look shifted from worried to deadpan. "...Yeaaaaah. Alright. So what are you trying to change about your brain, Twilight? And why?" "The last time I saw Princess Celestia was a total disaster, Spike! Not only did I brainwash all of Ponyville, but I ended up losing the last real connection I had to her! And I made her worry! Obviously there's something wrong with me and my connection to her. So I read up on what was wrong with me. There wasn't anything in any medical textbook. That means it's a mental illness, and that means in order to be able to spend time with the Princess I need to change my brain somehow!" "Why don't you just tell her what's wrong? And, uh, I don't know about you, but I've never heard of an illness that starts up around just one person." "That's just it, Spike! I've got a whole bunch of symptoms and I don't know what's wrong with me!" Spike polished off the last of the nachos, then leaned over and sat with his arms propping him up. Twilight gave an exasperated groan. "Spike! I've told you that's bad for your posture!" Spike rolled his eyes. "Yes, mom." His rolling eyes made him miss the blush and the wince his statement produced. "A-anyway. My symptoms mostly have to do with the blood stream. Overactive capillaries, heart rate and blood pressure, light headedness, increased perspiration and pupil dilation. It's like being around Celestia triggers my fight-or-flight system. I'm obviously not afraid of her, so there must be something medically wrong with me." Spike stroked his chin with a claw. "Aren't you afraid of her, though? You're afraid of failing her, right? I mean, that's why you went all loopy on us. Isn--Twlight?" The drake stopped when he noticed that his perpetual companion had gained a look of horror. "Oh my gosh...you're right. I'm...I'm scared of her, Spike! Everything she's done for me, and I'm afraid of her." Twilight bowed her head and squeezed her eyes shut, a shuddering breath escaping her clenched lips. Spike looked at his guardian with a softened gaze. "Hey, it's not the end of the world. I mean, we all have people we don't want to disappoint. Applejack's afraid of disappointing Granny Smith and Big Mac. She went just as loopy as you did over it. Remember when you told me about Dash destroying half of Canterlot's party room trying to impress the Wonderbolts? How about when Fluttershy ran off crying about how she didn't pass the wing test for Dash? Or even...that time with Owlowliscious wh-when--" Again Twilight cut him off, but this time with a hug. "Oh, Spike!" She gave a bittersweet chuckle. "When did you get so smart?" Spike smiled and gave a blush. "Hey, I work for a genius. Some of it has to rub off, right?" His statement rewarded him with more cuddling. "Hey! Not too mushy. Now come on. Let's go put those transformation spells to good use." "What did you have in mind?" Twilight cracked a smile at last. --/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\--  The image of Celestia wore its polka dot underpants with regal dignity, its magnificent beard and curly walrus moustache emphasizing the calm smile of the original. Spike rolled on the floor with laughter, and Twilight gave a few giggles. With a flash of light the figure became dressed in a gigantic, fluffy pink hat and gained a monocle. Another flash, and the figure gained a set of high heels and a frilly dress with heavy makeup. Spike was beyond calming, his laughs becoming painful with how hard and long they had run their course. Twilight shot another blast between chuckles and transfigured the picture into the farthest thing from Celestia yet. A chicken set delicately between its teeth, the picture gazed at her seductively, clown makeup in place of mascara and the multicoloured hair done up in an afro rather than some kind of sleek and shining job. A vastly oversized red, yellow and blue striped dress cut around the hip, revealing a single long leg and half of a cutie mark. Spike's laughs became painful hiccups, and at last he put forth a burst of flame. Suddenly, the laughs turned to stares of utter horror as the partners in crime realized what Spike had just done. Twilight did not scold Spike. He had suggested this in order to help her, and it was her fault as much as his. Besides, she reasoned, he went out on a limb to get me pulled back together. He doesn't deserve a scolding after all his hard work. The pair of them waited in silent dread, and then at last a jet of flame arrived carrying a letter in response. Twilight raced to open it. Her eyes scanned the page, and then she burst out into relieved laughs once again. Smiling up at her was a picture of herself and Celestia, the pair of them dressed as a hamster and a platypus, respectively. Freckles dotted their faces, and they each wore a set of Groucho Marx glasses. Giggling, she prepared to send another one, her troubles from earlier long since forgotten.