Trixie and Maud: Heart of Stone

by TheCrimsonDM

Chapter Six: Memory Drift

Trixie found herself running away from Ponyville, galloping as fast as her tired legs would take her. She could hear some of the ponies from the village chasing after her shouting. Most were yelling the similar threats, “Get out and stay out.” That had been one thing she’d heard repeated in her career. Eventually she escaped the angry ponies, her body exhausted she found herself in need of a good night’s rest.

Looking around she found herself surrounded by dense wood with little to no trace of where she had come from or where she was going. She was lost, but she continued moving forward anyway. There were no more tears she could shed; she had finally lost to Twilight Sparkle. Was there any point in continuing to walk, she could just lie down, and never move again. Maybe it would be better that way.

Memories of what she had done in Ponyville were playing through her mind. Locking ponies in cages, mutating ponies, and finally enslaving them. She had even managed to hurt the only few ponies who actually cared about her.

Lying down on her belly she could only whimper to herself. She had once put her life on the line to protect both Snips and Snails. Even if no one else thought of it that way. Trixie tried her best, she always tried her best. Giving up was what normal ponies did. And The great and powerful Trixie is not a normal pony, she was best pony.

Or was she? Thinking about it now, Trixie realized that everything she had ever done only hurt her. Twilight may have started this, but Trixie had been the one to do most of the damage. It had to be Twilight Sparkle’s fault, it always was, she was the one who ruined Trixie’s life.

Even when her home was destroyed in the battle with the Ursa Minor, did anypony actually care about her? No and it was because Twilight made Trixie look like the villain. Since when did telling stories become a crime?

Did ponies not enjoy Trixie’s stories of heroic feats? Were they not entertained? Certainly she found herself enjoying stories as a child, stories of the great heroes of old and their feats of valor. Now she guessed that ponies simply didn’t enjoy a good story.

Looking around she decided it was time to try walking again. After moving for a few hours she found herself even more lost then before. There was however a cave she found that offered potential shelter for her. Though she felt like she didn’t deserve shelter, all she could do was survive now. She took shelter in the cave for the night but the thoughts of what she had done to Ponyville haunted her. She also found something sleeping deep inside the cave, something terrible.

A month later Trixie found herself broke, living on the streets, and fighting every night to survive. Bad ponies kept trying to hurt her, and when they realized who she was they would try even harder. Trixie fought hard not to think of all the bad things that they would do to her if they ever caught up to her, but from what they would shout at her, she knew it would probably kill her.

She was living in the back alleys inside Manehattan. Now in a bundle of filthy rags, hoping that she could stay safe every night, she had finally hit her lowest point. Going to sleep was a dangerous proposition but she couldn’t stay awake forever. So she always tried to hide when she could no longer keep her eyes open.

There was one night in particular, when a group of evil ponies tried to hurt a homeless filly. That night Trixie took it upon herself to take on those evil ponies. Even though she saved the filly, she ended up taking the punishment for her. The vile things those ponies did to her, Trixie could never forget.

It only took a few days before Trixie had managed to walk back to the Everfree forest. There was no point in trying to survive anymore. Ponies only wanted to hurt Trixie. After Ponyville she had been beaten, and after the attack in the city, she had been broken. She continued walking into the forest. This was the most dangerous place in Equestria, if anything could take her pain away. She would find it inside here.

It took Trixie almost a full hour before she came across the cave she had spent the night in after Ponyville. She remembered what she had found sleeping inside. The Ursa Major. Trixie was far from clean, covered in dirt, grime, and blood. Most of the blood belonged to her. She almost laughed to herself as she thought about the irony of her dying at the claws of the very beast that started this trip downwards.

She had beaten an Ursa Major before, or had she? Maybe that was her father with his magical sword. Sometimes it was hard to discern what really happened from what she imagined. She gave up on trying to make sense of her memories, either way she was going to let this monster kill her. It was her destiny to die at its claws.

Wouldn’t Twilight Sparkle be so happy to hear about this?

She knew the best way to anger this beast while it slept. Drawing on the reserves of power she had inside she created a bolt of lightning that streaked down into the cave and struck the monster. It let out a terrible roar of anger.

Trixie stood her ground as a giant bear, consisting of translucent purple light, with stars and constellations inside its fur, crawled out of the cave. Every step it took shook the earth. The Ursa Major rose up to it’s mountainous height, it’s eyes looked down at Trixie, and it snarled with fangs larger than Trixie herself.

Trixie shot a colorful ball of light into its eyes, the ball of light exploded into the shape of a giant blue pony similar to herself. Trixie was using her firework spell as an offensive weapon, of course it couldn’t actually do more than blind it, but that hardly mattered when it got her what she was looking for, it’s full and undivided attention.
 
The monster swept its paw down at Trixie, and she simply stood solid without moving. The paw smashed into her like a train, and she screamed in agony as her entire body broke under the pressure. She went flying into the air. Soaring into the air and over the trees the pain became almost unbearable. Soon her torment would be over; she wouldn’t have to deal with any more pain.

A rainbow colored streak flew out of nowhere catching Trixie in mid air. Trixie tried to struggle but her limbs were all limp. “Please… let me die. I just want to die.”

The blue Pegasus that had grabbed her then asked as she flew fast even though she was gentle with Trixie’s wrecked body. “Were you trying to get yourself killed?”

Trixie gave a pained laugh before saying, “Yeah, Trixie was.” She coughed out something red and nasty onto the flyer’s blue shoulder. “It’s too hard to live like this. Trixie… is a… bad pony. Please… let me…” She lost all strength to speak anymore. The darkness was creeping in on her, she was going to die.

The blue Pegasus’s voice came out strong and defiant. “I am not letting you die. I don’t care if life is hard, if it’s too hard then get some friends to help make it easier.” After a pause she continued. “I… I’ll be your friend… but you have to promise me. Promise me that you won’t do something stupid and get yourself killed.”

Trixie couldn’t speak, but if she could she would tell her savior that it was okay. Trixie needed to die so that everything would be alright again. Unable to speak, she let the darkness consume her completely. The darkness was warm, and reminded Trixie of her mom’s loving embrace.

Trixie woke up to the smell of something being cooked, some kind of stew. It smelled delicious but something felt wrong. She was floating, inside of a small room. There were various masks decorating the wall, and a zebra mare was stirring a pot of brown liquid.

Trixie pondered on what was going on for a few seconds before she saw a body lying on a bed in the corner of the room. This body was almost entirely covered in bandages except for a light blue muzzle and her purple eyes. The pony was alive, and awake, but she didn’t move. She looked emotionless, hollow. Her eyes had a glazed look to them.

Trixie found herself wanting to investigate this pony a little closer, so she tried walking. The sudden movement caused her to spin at a slow pace while floating in the air. This was not very satisfying. After a few kicks with her legs she stopped the spinning and righted herself.

Trixie could have sworn she had just been attacked by an Ursa Major, though that was odd because that was what happened a long time ago. Back before she met Maud. Suddenly Trixie remembered that Maud and Twilight had been dragging a cage into town and she saw the strange monster again… and then she fell.

Trixie knew where she was now, she was dreaming, although these dreams were actually her memories. They felt a little off and fragmented though, and she certainly didn’t remember this zebra.

Rainbow Dash walked through the front door, passing right through the floating form of Trixie’s consciousness before reaching the zebra. It felt wrong about having a pony walk through her. She tried to pay attention to the other two in the room as Rainbow Dash began a conversation with the zebra.

Rainbow Dash’s eyes looked worried. “Zecora… how is she doing?”

The Zebra, who must have been named Zecora, replied. “She will be fine, thanks to this potion of mine.”

Rainbow Dash let out a sigh of relief before looking at the bandaged mare lying on the bed. “I’m so sorry Trixie. I tried to reach you before the Ursa Major hit you… I was too slow, and I failed, and I’m sorry.”

Zecora stopped stirring the pot, and using a spoon she poured some of the soup into a small wooden bowl. She then walked over to the injured pony. “She is awake, but she is not here. Her mind is somewhere far away I fear.”

Rainbow Dash looked confused by what she said. She walked over to the injured mare. “What do you mean by that? Is Trixie going to be okay?”

Why did they keep talking about Trixie while she was floating right behind them? Trixie looked around the room and couldn’t see anypony else here. Was Trixie not dreaming now, this could not be a memory of hers if she did not remember it. Looking down at the injured pony Trixie’s heart skipped a beat. The injured pony’s mane matched her own.

Zecora began carefully feeding the injured mare the soup, and when she did Trixie could taste the food in her mouth. It was an odd mix of vegetables the strongest flavor were the carrots. It wasn’t half bad.

 “You see she’s awake, but she cannot comprehend. I think Twilight’s help would be good to this end?”

Rainbow Dash looked somberly at the injured Trixie. “Yeah I will. But if Twilight knew that Trixie had tried to… kill herself, I don’t know if she could handle it.”

Zecora didn’t turn away from her task of feeding the injured Trixie, but she continued the conversation anyway. “I can heal her body, but Twilight can heal her mind. We can save her, but we are running out of time.”

Rainbow Dash nodded and walked to the front door, she took one last look behind herself before speeding off. Afterward Zecora sighed and looked up at the floating Trixie. “You have been broken, but now you have awoken. Listen well little mare, for what I now say is in your future care.”

She narrowed her eyes on the floating form of Trixie’s mental image for a moment before she returned to the task of feeding the injured Trixie. “Darkness is coming, as the world falls into night. It is up to you to bring forth the light. The sword of the lords is yours to be had. Take heart little pony, no need to be sad.”

Trixie floated there stunned, was the zebra really speaking to her, in her dream. Or possible memory? She wasn’t sure anymore. The entire room began to fade and blur into a completely different scene.

Trixie blinked and the world washed away around her. The little hut vanished and light beamed into the little room that was now forming before her eyes. The windows nearby overlooked a sparkling city of splendor. She could see herself lying on the couch staring up at the ceiling while another pony sat in a chair with a notebook in his hooves, and a pen in his mouth. Trixie’s body still looked dead inside. There was also the faint smell of cinnamon in the air.

The earth pony had an egg white coat, which complemented his spiky mahogany mane and tale. He wore a scarf with white and green on it. His cutie mark was that of a clock, with a quill for the big hand. This pony was one she recognized, it was Doctor Timequill. He always had a way of understanding Trixie that nopony else had been able to do. He really helped her out with a lot of her problems, even helping her figure out which meds would work best for her, though that was always changing it felt like.

The Trixie lying on the couch got up and left to the door, she shuffled forward as though a great burden lay on her back. Trixie had been suffering from massive depression at the time. Following her past self out the door Trixie’s consciousness watched as the old Trixie continued to shuffle forward staring at the ground. It was hard to watch, the old Trixie looked so pitiful, always keeping her head low, and her tail seemed to droop as well. Trixie wished she could reach out and give a great big hug to her old self.

While following her past self, Trixie noticed that doctor Timequill was talking to somepony behind them. Feeling curious Trixie began following them. It struck her as odd that she could easily follow these ponies by just willing it. Yet using her legs only resulted in nauseating effects.

Timequill was speaking to a purple unicorn wearing a gray hooded cloak. She listened in on their conversation. Timequill sounded grateful as he said, “Thank you so much for giving us the funding for our program. A lot of ponies out there are damaged, and I only wish I could help them all. I am a realist though, so I know that my goal is impossible. But with your funding we have been able to help so many ponies. I’m surprised though, that the only two things you asked for were to remain anonymous and for me to personally take care of Miss Lulamoon.”

The cloaked pony spoke quietly. “How is she doing?”

Timequill looked down the hallway that Trixie had walked down and wore a small smile. “She is improving, although I would suggest pairing her with a stable friend. She has been hurt in so many different ways, I don’t know that she will ever be fixed, but I can at least help her become stable.”

The unicorn then asked. “What kind of pony would need to be her friend?”

Timequill pondered this for a long moment. “An impossible one. The pony would have to show no strong emotions outwardly, but still have strong emotions inside. That way Miss Lulamoon would not have any undue stress, and learning the ponies subtleties would be a great way to rebuild her social nature. This pony would also have to be filled with love and care.”
The unicorn took a moment of silence as she contemplated what he had suggested. “I believe we are in luck. I have met one pony like this. My friend’s sister, Maud Pie is very close to what you described. Maybe she could help? Though she does live on a rock farm.”

Timequill looked at the unicorn and said. “Really? If that’s really so then this would be the ideal location for Trixie’s recovery. It would be both familiar but also not connected to any bad memories.”

The unicorn smiled brightly. “I think I can set up a meeting with her.”

He rubbed his chin for a few seconds before saying. “Okay, but we need to keep your involvement to a minimum. There is no telling how she could react if she found out that you were helping her in secret. Once again I must thank you, Princess Twi-“

He was cut off by the unicorn using magic to shut his muzzle as she said. “We need to keep this secret remember.”

Trixie simply floated there for a few moments in silent shock. Twilight Sparkle had been trying to help her all along. She knew what Trixie had been through and was still trying to help her. Trixie couldn’t have been such a bad pony if she earned this much attention from Twilight. Yet again the world around her faded away only to be replaced with something new.

Trixie now found herself no longer floating. Rather she was sitting down at the base of a great willow tree surrounded by vast green plains of grass. The sun was shining down making everything look cozy and warm. Off in the distance a familiar stage wagon was resting upright and complete. Unfortunately the air had a bitter cold in it, along with a wet slimy feeling that coated every inch of her fur, thus ruining the picture perfect image.
 
A dark shadow began forming next to her taking a pony like shape. She then heard a deep growling voice speak, “Interesting."

Trixie looked over at the shadowy creature, and its glowing yellow eyes. This thing was simply wrong. It’s mere presence made Trixie’s skin crawl backward in an attempt to flee in the most opposite direction. Its voice penetrated her very being, molesting her ears, and torturing her very soul. Her throat dried as she asked, “What are you?”

The shadow took a moment to answer, and Trixie could hear a multitude of voices whispering incoherently before stopping to let the shadow talk. “We are the Deep One. Waiting for an eternity to cleanse the world of its corruption. Your cities will flood, and everything will become right once more.

 “We find it amusing that you equines have done so much damage despite your misguided attempts at creating order out of the chaos that is the true nature of our world.”

Trixie gulped before asking. “What do you mean?”

 “Controlling the weather for example, do you even realize how much damage you have done by interfering with nature like this? Even if you quit trying to control the weather right now, it would take centuries for the world to heal from what you have done. We created disruption, chaos, and even Discord to counter balance the effects of your order, your tyranny. What makes you think that you can control every little thing in the world? How do you feel about being controlled by others? What would happen if your mortal coil was suddenly made re-aware of the true owners of this world, of the very monsters that make your filthy planet spin.”

“I don’t think that controlling the weather is so bad.”

The Deep One let out a low terrible laugh that violated everything around it. “Oh but when you were chased out of town, was that not a form of control? When you tried to protect two colts from their own folly, who sacrificed their home to save them? Who was willing to lose their life to save the foals? And who was blamed for the young star eater, the Ursa Minor?”

Trixie could feel her fear mix with her sadness, and a rage that has been long suppressed beginning to surface. “I don’t care.”

“It was you, Trixie. Yet being an outsider was your downfall, they blamed you instead of their own. The children should have been punished, and you were still kind enough not to argue this point, again you protected them by taking their sentence and leaving ponyville for good.”

Trixie was angry at this thing, it was still talking about things it shouldn’t know, about things that shouldn’t be true, about things that still hurt her. She stared it in the eyes and her anger rose to new heights pushing back the tide of vile filth this thing spread. “I am not an OUTSIDER. It was my home and I was defending it. Nopony else was going to stand up and fight. Nopony even tried. I was the only one to try. I, the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

The monster began laughing, and Trixie’s hatred of the thing only cemented itself further. She just wanted to go home, she just wanted to see her mom, but thanks to what she had done, thanks to Twilight Sparkle she was never going to get to go home again. She started screaming in frustration.

She could feel the cold power coming off of the thing standing next to her, she knew its potential. It was sympathizing with her. It was dark, and knew how the world should really work.

“You can make it all right again. You can control it. Just let us help.”

Trixie froze, her anger bit back by the sudden offer. She’d seen this before, and it didn’t turn out well for her than either. Some small part of her wanted to accept this offer, and to make her personal world alright again. The larger part realized something even more important. She was loved, by Maud, and Pinkie. She had managed to make friends with the very same ponies that had hurt her in the past. Even Twilight had gone out of her way to make Trixie be okay.

The creature began fading from her view and the air around her grew noticeably warmer and dry. “You can think on our offer, Trixie. After all, who else can really help a broken mess like you?”