//------------------------------// // Some Royal Shit and other stuff, Part I // Story: Tales of the Slaves to Armok: God of Blood and (not at all) Friendship // by Timemaster //------------------------------// Empress Hilda of the Gryphonic Empire The Empress of the most unstable empire in the world, where every single moment counts towards potential dissolution of the empire, was in a drunken stupor during a meeting with her ambassador, who was explaining the situation at hand. The Empress wasn't listening, but she nodded along with whatever he was saying, since it was pretty boring, until he got this serious look in his eyes. She opened her ears and listened. "I believe it is our best interest to," the ambassador started. The Empress had a sudden headache possibly caused from flying into her throne during a race with her sister, Hilga, and could not hear the second part. "Yeah, sure, whatever," The Empress said, pinching the area between her eyes to try to mitigate the pain of the headache. "Really?" the ambassador said happily. "Yes, really," she said, the headache dissipating. The ambassador got up and said, "I have to go tell our allies the news!" Before the Empress could say anything, the happy, black feathered, gryphon flew out the balcony door and B-lined to Equestria. The Empress just stopped faking soberness and went to her chambers to get to her secret stash. President Gilda II of the Gryphonic Republic The room is dark, clean, and the delicious smell of meat coursed throughout. The sound of explosions and screams echo outside, and the air is thick with tension. A torch is lit, revealing the President sitting down at the dinner table. Four of the Five Generals of the Republic walk into the room, their green and brown war fatigues worn, dirtied by the combat outside. The capital of the Republic was being sieged by a couple of the Empire's brigades. The President was eating while also writing on papers, but halted herself when the generals came in. "What is the situation outside?" She asked as soon as they were seated. The first general, an accomplished Empire General who left because of moral reasons, sighed and said, "We of the Final Defense Force will win this battle, but their relentless attacks are going to dwindle our forces down to half." The second general, a young warrior who proved himself to be a leader with to his amazing scores on tests, physical and mental, in the rebuilt Academy of War, said, "We, the Grand Siegers, are used to the simple tactics that the empire is throwing at us, so no breaches of the wall have happened thus far." The other two generals looked at the President simultaneously, and they both said, "The negotiations are going poorly, and they seem to be unwilling to co-operate, but our spying has shown a great weakness we can exploit." "What?" The President asked, intrigued. "In about two hours, their most advanced automaton, a Bronze Colossus, will be heading our way, which may seem bad, but," they snickered, "it seems that the Colossus was not properly programmed and is prone to rampaging if a particular circuit is dented even a little." "How will we dent the circuit?" the President asked, smiling a little. "It seems, Mrs. President, that the circuit is located on the back of the Colossus' head, covered by a thin, Bronze, plate that our arrows, which will be shot from the enemy's side by our brave spies, would easily go through and, hopefully, dent that circuit." "Is it worth the potential loss of a spy?" "Truthfully, yes, for the spies who have agreed to this are in the perfect position to shoot the Colossus without anyone spotting them, so any loss would be their own mistake." The President rubbed her chin and then said, "Will we be able to gain control of the Colossus?" "Somewhat," the two said, "We will have to kill and disassemble it, but we already have a copy of the behemoth's blueprints, so we'd just have to fix it up." The President grinned, "Great!" The two generals blushed a little before returning to being serious, and then said, "Well, look at the time, only an hour before it arrives..." The Punk "Fuck those bipedal monsters." Princess Luna Princess Luna rested happily in her soft bed, since the sun was the only celestial object to be out today. The Princess looked at her drawer and took out a picture, which she held very dearly in her heart, and hugged it tight to her. The big stallion of Ponyville she had met had been a very cute stallion, but sadly, her duties did not allow her to stay with him for long. Usually at night she would go into his dreams and help him in those cutesy dreams of adventure. Luna went to sleep and dreamed about Big mac. Princess Cadence The Princess was knocked out after a hard day of doing nothing but getting drunk. Shining Armor This guy was eating sandwiches quietly and happily with his sister. Not much else, really. King Sombra Yep, still dead. Urist of the Divine Urist, King of the Changelings. The King was determined. The King was Vigilant. The King would not rest until that one thing standing in his way was thrown away. The booger stood no chance as the King flung it into his Chitin Trash Bin, his nose finally clean. The King smiled happily, for now nothing stood in his path to conquest. He laughed maniacally. Leopold, the King of the Wastes Desert was everywhere and everyone was sad. Prince Blueblood II He slept next to his fiance, a smile on his face. Alrik Alrik slept under a mare's bed. Armok Armok watched Elfen Lied for the infinith time this eternity with a smile on his face. Odin Odin, sadly, had diarrhea. Also, his toilet is clogged. Also, he went temporarily blind. Also, this is the end of the report.