//------------------------------// // Raze's Journey Special One; Abridged Season One // Story: Raze's Journey // by Roarin Thunder //------------------------------// Once upon a time in a land far far away. “Hey Dad, I need a spaceship to go murder my mothers kille- I mean… To do peace talks with other planets.” Raze said to his father. “You can absolutely do all of these things with nothing to stop you whatsoever! Now get out of my hair, I’ve met your new mot- I mean, what a twist…” He returned with to which Raze frowned. “Saw wha-” “Get out and never come back!” ~One Trip to Space Later~ “Now I just have to focus long enough to go kill that thing… What am I even searching for?” Raze questioned as an alarm sounded. “YOU’RE FUCKED!” It screamed at him as the ship blasted into a portal. “AHHHHHH! RANDOM SCREAMING!” Raze yelled as his ship hit the ground instantly. “And now I’m knocked out!” He hit the floor indefinitely for a long period of time that wasn’t precise. ~In the dream land~ “Holy shit! What the fuck is that?!” Raze asked the weird snake creature before him. “I am Discord! I am hilarious and you’ll reference everything I say!” Discord stated to the eighteen year old monstrously powered up muscle beefcake. “How about no! Blegh!” He fell out once more only to be woke up anyway. ~He woke up (I ran out of clever things to say)~ “OH GOD! HORSE FACE!” Raze yelled at the horse in front of him. “Oh derp, Monkeys!” Doctor yelled while throwing his Sonic Screwdriver at Raze’s skull. “Wow, I suddenly feel like Racing, wanna go fly walking pride flag?!” Raze asked the Rainbow Head Dress. She nodded while looking angry and said nothing. “GREAT! LET’S GO!” Raze then proceeded to fly so fast that a dragon died and he won a cave. “WOO HOO! I have a home that’s slightly worse than my ship!” Raze yelled to the sky while cooking dragon chops. ~Literally Two Days Later~ “We’re having a party for no reason at all!” Pinkie yelled as fire bombs littered the streets outside. Raze looked over at Octavia. “We can totally bang!” Octavia nods with a kawaii look embedded on her face. ~Another few minutes later~ “I broked da pony’s leg!” The Manticore roared. “That rustled my jimmies! BLOND MODE ENGAGE!” Raze exclaimed as he ripped the beasts stomach open with his fist. “You tink dat affect me?! Well let’s try mah poison sting attack!” His stinger flew into the air and shot needles out of it. “Oh-no! I ran out of antidotes in Viridian Forest! Blegh!” He blacked out instantly. ~In a Hospital~ “Will he make it Doctor?!” Ditzy Doo asked the Doctor. “I’m not a real Doctor, but he might die. Let’s go to the cafeteria!” They both left without a word after that. ~In Dream World~ “Hi, I’m Discord again and this is Celestia’s Ass!” Discord stated as Raze destroyed the picture. “Never again…” Raze trailed off as Celestia got pissed and wiped out the entire heaven. “I am pissed off because menopause hasn’t kicked in and it’s been well over a thousand years!” Celestia said while Discord was trapped in a ball of flame. “Please let me out?” Discord asked as Celestia let him go. “I’m also highly bipolar, so now I’m not pissed!” Celestia exclaimed to the only other people there. Raze’s ear hurt quite a lot and then he felt Discord screwing around with his mind guts. “Don’t mind me, just messing around with Evil.exe!” Suddenly, a gray light burst out of Raze and manifested into a weird non doppelganger thing. “Hello, I’m Evil. You can tell that I’m evil because of my gray hair and black eyes. Also, I’mma beat you up!” Fhaze proceeded to not tell them his name and kick all of their asses. “Now I’mma kill your princess!” Fhaze yelled as Raze transformed for no reason at all. “Oh-no! You’ve gone blond!” Fhaze yelled as he was flicked into nonexistence. “And we’ll never see him again!” Raze said to nobody in particular. ‘They’ll see me next crossover…’ ~After waking up~ “What the heck is this thing?!” Raze asked while playing with a monkey tail. “You’re a monkey!” Twilight exclaimed as time flashed forward about two days. “YAY! Also, I think that I defeated Nightmare Something yesterday! WHEEEE!” Raze exclaimed as they skipped forward in time thanks to the master sword’s brilliant execution. “Hey! Is that a full mo- RAGGGHHHHHH!” Raze roared as his heart grew one hundred sizes that night. “OH-NO! YOU’RE A MONKEY!” Twilight screamed as Super Rainbow Pride flew past her. “I’m even more noticeable than before!” She screamed while flying around the gorilla. “And I’m a pair of scissors because I love referencing old things!” Discord yelled while snapping off the tail of the Gorilla. ~Two Somethings Later~ “I feel bad, let’s go for two months and leave nothing but a note behind.” Raze said to Discord who nodded with nothing left to lose. ~Dragon Soul!~