Bombastic Bookpony's Bazaar of Oneshots

by Bombastic Bookpony


Heart on the Line (RariDash, Romance/Comedy/Random)

        Dash dodged another punch, ducking under an arm. She leaped away from the beast and over some barrels, sprinting away. She knew it would be right behind her. And sure enough she was right. A giant, moving heart basheed through three barrels and was speeding towards her. How did she keep getting into these situations? She took a look at the white pony strapped to a table. Oh yeah, because on a day when she was supposed to just clear the skies and enjoy the show, she somehow fell in league with five crazy ponies, and this one was the craziest! Well, except maybe Pinkie. And Shy sure could blow off steam if she wanted to. Plus there was the whole no letter incident with Twilight.....

        She narrowly dodged another hit. Focus, Dash! Just mere seconds later, however, she couldn’t resist the urge to snipe at the pony causing her predicament. “Gee, Rare, thanks for causing your heart to go crazy and kill me! Totally how I wanted to spend my weekend!”

        “It’s not my fault!” she indignantly yelled. “Blame those Chrystal Ponies and their weird diamonds!”

        “They told you not to touch them, but nooo, it would look oh so fabulous on a dress!”

        “If it’s anypony’s fault, it’s yours, Dash!”

        “Me!?

        “You! With your annoyingly funny jokes, and lean, toned body, and your stupid roguish face!” The heart grew even bigger, and made another grab for Dash with its huge hands. Dash barely avoided it.

        “Rare! I can understand that with a mare like me, this may be impossible, but can you please stop gushing over my awesomeness for a second?!”

        “I didn’t ask for you to be my heart’s desire!”

        Dash sighed. “True, I’m just so smoking. Nopony can resist me. Guess it is kinda is my fault, not yours. Why Celestia burdened me with such coolness, I’ll never know.” The giant heart lunged for Dash, taking a big jump.

        Rarity rolled her eyes. “Why are you my heart’s desire again?” She sighed. “But it’s not meant to be, which I suppose is symbolized by my heart crushing you. Rather heavyhanded, if you ask me, but eh.” She shrugged.

        “What?!” She stopped in her tracks, and the heart flew over her and fell into a pile of mud.

        “Daaaaaash!” she whined. “You’re really mucking up my heart this time! There is no way I’m letting such a filthy thing back in my chest!”
        “Focus, Rare! Why is it ‘not meant to be’?” The heart slowly got to its feet.

        “Well, you’ve made clear your idea of a good mare before. How’d you describe her? Oh yes. ‘Someone who’s, like, totally hot and a body like woah, dude. And she’s gotta know her way around the track, you know what I’m sayin’, brah?’”

        The heart was back on its feet, and Dash was running once again. “First off, I so do not sound like that!” she yelled. “And second, you’re totally hot! Rare, you’re beautiful!”

        Rarity blushed, but turned her face way. “Oh, goody, I qualify for one of your lays. Huzzah, all my dreams have come true!” she sarcastically enthused.

        “One of my what?” Dash took to the sky, disorienting the heart and causing it to spin. She landed in front of Rarity. “What are you talking about?”

        “‘Knows her way around a track?’ Dash, please. Only a filly wouldn’t know what that implies.”

        “Celestia, really?” Dash smacked her own forehead with her hoof. “I meant that literally! I want somepony who gets what I do, who takes an interest in what I do and gets it, and Rare, you get it!”

        Rarity blushed again. “What can I say? Flying was such an invigorating experience, such an one of a kind feeling, I just had to see more of it.”

        “See! Pinkie flies around in her crazy machines, and Twi flies in her balloon, but they don’t get it! And-and you’re hilarious, and smart, and beautiful, and Celestia, Rare, you could get any mare you wanted with one word, and that includes me! All you had to do was ask, Rare.”

        “Really?”

        “Yeah. I’ll take you on a date as soon as I crush your heart into a million pieces and man that did not come out as romantic as I intended.” Rarity snickered, and Dash grinned.

        “Well, how about a kiss for luck?”

        “How can I argue with that?” They closed their eyes, and Dash leaned in, just as the heart snuck up behind her, ready to smash. But as soon as their lips meet, the heart shrunk and fell to the floor.They broke the kiss to stare at it, and it had begun crawling its way across the floor back to Rarity’s chest.

        “Ewwww, it’s all dirty and nasty! Dash, be a dear and give it a quick cleaning?”

        “Woah, no way, Rare. I don’t go around touching that kind of stuff till at least the third date!”

        They laughed heartily together.

        “But seriously Dash, it’s so dirty and it’s crawling up on me and cleanitcleanitcleanit!”