Bombastic Bookpony's Bazaar of Oneshots

by Bombastic Bookpony


Romantic (AppleRariDash, Romance)


        Dash took a look at Twilight, Pinkie, Shy, and Spike and turned away with a sigh. “They’re all asleep,” she grumbled.

        “Can you really blame them, dear? I mean, Twilight went off all lone wolf, Pinkie had to go into overdrive trying to keep an entire empire happy, poor Fluttershy was jousted-”

“For the good of an empire!” Dash interrupted.

Rarity rolled her eyes and continued. “And Spikey Wikey saved the entire world! They deserve a rest,” Rarity said.

        “Besides, Dash, three of us, all alone? Figured you’d be all over that,” AJ stated with a wink.

        “I thought I’d just get in the way,” Dash began with a smirk. “I mean, you two were all over each other. ‘But Rare, things are greata when they’re a raritah,’” Dash drawled in an exaggerated Apple accent. “‘ Awww, you!’” she giggled in just an exaggerated posh accent. She then proceeded to make loud smooching noises.

        “Awww, is my poor knight jealous?” Rarity mock pouted.
        
        “What? No!” she vehemently denied.

        “Now, Dash, it’s okay to be jealous. It’s only natural in relationships. Especially when I pull out a romantic line like that. Why, I think I was so romantic, I caused past me to feel an unexplainable wave of jealousy. That’s how romantic I was!” Applejack exclaimed triumphantly.

        Dash snorted. “Please, you call one cheesy line romantic? Who saved Rarity from falling to her doom? Me. Who did not rest for a moment when you went missing? Me. Who took you guys on her back and showed you the stars? Take a wild guess, me! I got romance shooting out of my butt!”

        “As exemplified by that statement,” Rarity deadpannned, earning a chuckle from Applejack. “But seriously, dears. Love is not a competition! We all love each other equally. We just show it in different ways.” Dash and Applejack nodded concedingly.”Buuut, if we were to go by conventional romantic standards, I’m pretty sure I win.” Her two lovers groaned. “Roses and chocolates, compliments and fancy dinners, exclusive tickets to the greatest rodeos and Wonderbolt stadiums in the world, I get them all for you two! Sometimes, my chivalry astonishes even me. And you two aren’t always the most... well-mannered.”

        “What are you talking about, Rarity?”

        “Yeah! Name one time!”

        “How about that time when the two of you punched out Prince Blueblood at the premierball?”

        “He had it coming,” Applejack stated simply.

        “True, but Fancy Pants sure didn’t.”

        “Hey, it looked like he was grabbing your butt!”

        “In an attempt to save himself from falling! If he wasn’t so gracious and understanding I would’ve lost one of my best friends!”

        “Oh, I see how it is!” Dash exclaimed, turning her head up in mock offense. “It’s cool being all knightly when your life is in danger, but when we try to defend your honor all of a sudden we’re pests!”

        AJ, catching on, joined in. “I bet you want ponies who are more sensitive, like Twilight and Fluttershy! You only keep us around as bodyguards!”

        “And for our smoking hot bodies.”

        “That too!”

        “Now come on dears, that’s not what I-”

        “No! Away with you! We are through, Rarity! Through!” The two turned their heads to the roof and closed their eyes, ignoring her. Rarity sighed exasperatedly.

        “Very funny dears.” Still, they refused to look at her. “Ohhh, my back is so tired. If only I had somepony to snuggle up against! Alas, my two loves refuse to even look at me. I suppose it’s their loss, not getting to experience my marshmallowy embrace.” No response. Rarity humphed. Suddenly, an idea popped into her head. She leaped onto Dash, quickly tickling her sides.

        “H-hey! S-stop!” Dash managed to say in between laughter. Applejack opened one eye in interest.

        “Come on, Applejack. I have her sides, but you know how sensitive her wings are.”

        “Well, how can I argue with that?” AJ asked with a grin. She joined in, tickling Dash’s wings.

        “Celestia I really hate you guys!” Dash laughed out, tears going down her face.

        “Guyyyys,” Twilight softly whined. “Some of us are trying to sleep. Could you please just skip to cuddling or something.”

        “Sorry, Twilight,” the three apologetically intoned. Rarity and AJ laid down next to each side of Dash, snuggling close against her.

        “Still jealous, my knight?”

        “Nah. There’s no place in the world I’d rather be.”

        “See? There’s your romantic line of the day!”

        The three chuckled before falling into a blissful sleep.