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// The Kiss (TwiPie, Sad) 
// Story: Bombastic Bookpony's Bazaar of Oneshots 
// by Bombastic Bookpony 
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        She kissed me.

        I didn’t kiss her or violate her personal space or anything. She kissed me. And then she ripped my heart into a thousand pieces. 

        For one moment, everything was perfect and crystal clear and beautiful. It was a story our kids would’ve loved to hear. A sleepover filled with crazy hijinks and humorous misunderstandings. I’d tell them that I thought their mother was in love with Applejack, and they’d go “Ew, Auntie Applejack?” and we would laugh together. That’s all I see. What could have beens and what looked like they were going to be and houses and kids and her. All I see is her. 

        Her kiss keeps replaying in my head, over and over and over. As does the revelation that it was all a prank, all an effort to get me back for something I did that she said she didn’t remember! Just a stupid, childish, immature, annoying prank, just like her!

        That’s what I keep telling myself. I keep reminding myself of her horribleness and try to forget the clear blue eyes and the way her face lit up when she saw me and her laugh and everything.

        Spike hugged me for hours that night. He’s there. He’s always been there for me. He’s all I ever needed. Me and him, that’s the way it should be. Because if this is what friendship leads to, to  heartbreak and betrayal and hatred, then I don’t want it anymore. I wish I could give it all back. Just forget it all and go back to Canterlot where things were simple and easy. That dull pain of loneliness was a million times better than what I have now.

        She left, on some trip. Don’t know how long she’ll be gone. Didn’t even get to yell at her more, to curse her with all my being, to get some kind of closure. But she’ll be back eventually. I sometimes fantasize of teleporting into the room she left behind and just wrecking it, tearing every last piece of it apart, but it would only dull the pain for a little while. No, I can wait. I can wait till she gets back and then I’ll unleash every last hateful word, every last reason I despise her, every last reason why she is the most deceitful, cruel pony I have ever met so that maybe, just maybe, she’ll be just as broken as I am.

        Or maybe I’ll just fall on my knees and beg her to love me. 




        I kissed her.

        It was stupid and mean but I just couldn’t help it. She was so clueless, so adorably oblivious! I mean really, Applejack? I love Jackie, but not like that! 

 I forgot for just one second. I forgot the past, the things I’d done, who I was. I forgot it all for one moment, like I was having the most amazing dream. 
        
But that’s the bad part about dreams, I guess. You have to wake up to reality. And-and I had to do it, I had to do all those awful things! You just don’t get it! You don’t know! You probably hate me. Well, join the club! Club founder: Pinkamena Diane Pie, Her Royal Stupidness, Her Royal Monster, Her Royal Meanie! I know just how bad I am. That’s why I had to do it.

I saved her a lot of pain by giving her a little less pain. I know she’s hurting, but she’s the strongest, smartest pony I know. She’ll wise up, and forget about awful me. She’ll move on and meet somepony wonderful and have cute little fillies and maybe, just maybe, she’ll forgive me and let me be her friend again, because being a friend is better than being nothing, no matter how much it hurts to pretend I don’t dream of being worthy of her. 

        A pony can dream, can’t she? Dreams keep ponies happier more than anything. Don’t I deserve a tiny bit of that? I’m not a completely awful pony, right?

        Right?