//------------------------------// // Meet the Parents (Twilight, TwiFamily, and Pinkie, TwiPie, Family/Romance) // Story: Bombastic Bookpony's Bazaar of Oneshots // by Bombastic Bookpony //------------------------------//         Twilight took a deep breath. They were going to love Pinkie. They had to love Pinkie. Because she loved Pinkie, and if she loved Pinkie that meant her parents had to too. That was how all her books went. Her books wouldn’t lie to her, right? Pinkie had promised to be in her best behavior, her hair straightened by a very difficult spell.  She even wore a very, very good suit that made Twilight want to pounce on her right now and- No! No no no! No thoughts like that tonight. Well, not until dinner was over. Her mother valued class and sophistication and composure so very much. And Pinkie didn’t meet them by conventional standards. She looked at Pinkie, and Pinkie quickly relaxed her stiff, proper, upright posture for a second to smile reassuringly at her, before returning to that position in mere seconds. Twilight smiled fondly. She loved that mare, and Celestia darn it, her parents were going to to too, because she said so! Her fears replaced by determination, she rang the doorbell. Her mother answered it quickly. Twilight held back a gulp.         Her mother looked Pinkie up and down, scrutinizing for any flaw. Pinkie kept her calm disposition throughout. Finally her mother spoke. “Stop that.”         “Wha-” Twilight sputtered.         “Twilight, undo that spell, and Pinkie, stop trying to be the conventional perfect marefriend. This is a dinner, not a bloody children’s novel. We will have none of those cliche hijinks in my house.”         “Thank goodness!” Pinkie exclaimed, shaking herself about. “That was soooo awful! I mean, why would anypony want to stand like that, I mean really?”         Twilight’s mother smiled slightly. “I sometimes wonder the same thing. Now, Twilight, undo the spell.” Twilight, still dazed, nonetheless did as her mother commanded, reverting Pinkie’s hair back to its natural, bouncy state. “After you, Pinkie? Why don’t you go ahead and meet Nightlight? We’ll catch up in just a second.”         “Thanks, Mrs. Stardust! I could smell the food from out here, and it smells scrumditilious!”  Pinkie hopped, skipped, and jumped into the house.         Pinkie Pie let her nose lead her to the dining room, the source of that amazing scent. There, she found Twilight’s father, dressed in an apron setting the table. He looked up at her and smiled.          “You must be Pinkie, huh?”         “Yup! Nice to meet you, Mr. Nightlight! You make this scrumditilious food yourself?”                  “Scrumditilious!” he exclaimed grinning. “Those were my words exactly when I made this feast of the gods. When scrumptious just isn’t a good enough word. Anyway, yup, this is all me. I love Stardust, but she is best kept away from the kitchen.”         “Boy, do I understand that! Twilight is the smartest, geniusest pony I know, but put her in a kitchen and it’s smokier than a dragon’s nose, and believe me, I know a dragon’s nose!”         Nightlight chuckled. “Ah, yes. I tried teaching Twilight, but alas, she took too much from her mother. Nothing I could do,” he humorously sniffed.         “I am sorry for your tastebud’s loss, sir,” Pinkie said mock sadly, head hung low. The two grinned at each other.         “Now, Pinkie, as the protective parent of the mare you’re trying to date, I have the expectation of giving you ‘the speech.’ ‘If you ever hurt her you’ll regret it,’ ‘she’s more fragile than she looks,’ yadda yadda yadda. But I look at you and somehow, I think you know that already. That you would rather die than hurt her. That right?”         “Right,” Pinkie confirmed, nodding her head resolutely.         “I knew you were a common spirit. So, what do you say we skip that, and get to the fun part?” Pinkie grinned.         As Pinkie bounced into the house, Twilight’s mother shook her head fondly. “Scrumditilious.”         Twilight continued gaping. “How-how’d you know?”         “Because, my darling, you can change a crazy pony’s posture, a crazy pony’s hair, even a crazy pony’s personality. But you cannot change a crazy pony’s eyes, and I know that look in a pony’s eyes very well. I wake up beside it every morning. Plus, I pulled the same trick when I was your age. Now, come. It’s been too long, my bright star.” Stardust flicked her head to signal Twilight to come in, and turned inside. Twilight followed.          “You’re not mad?”         “About what?”         “About the fact that I lied to you?”         “Understandable. Like I said, I did the same to my parents, albeit more successfully. For a short while at least. You know how much I value class and composure and sophistication. The average pony should strive for these values. However,” she began as they walked into the dining room, “our loves are far from average.”         There, Pinkie and Nightlight were playing with their food. “Waddya say to me?” Pinkie asked, taking on an accent. “Stop being so chicken,” she emphasized, waving a leg around,” and say it to my face!”         “I said,” Nightlight began, taking on an equally ridiculous accent, “I refuse to lettuce,”  he said twirling around the food, “become family!” The two devolved into hysterics.         “I like for everypony to try and have some piece of class, but I know lost causes when I see one. Ready to eat and roll our eyes long sufferingly at the loves of our lives?”         “And we’ll throw around the occasional deadpan one liner here and there?” She and her mother smiled at each other. “There’s nothing I want to do more.”