//------------------------------//
// 22. Crazy Ideas 
// Story: The Rock Farmer's Daughters 
// by Sketcha-Holic 
//------------------------------//

It was a very nice morning in the town of Nickerlite. The first few rays of sunshine were peeking over the hills, and each one was a spotlight on a lucky home. Those few houses were bathed in golden light, as if they had been approved of heaven. The inhabitants of those homes had mixed reactions; some welcomed the sunshine, and others hid under their pillows and hissed.

Lemon Drop was one of those who hissed while still curled up in bed, while his wife, Sugar Glider, was in the kitchen, carefully placing bread, cheese, and a few pieces of candy in a basket. She smiled upon a sunbeam warming her face, and she felt the foal stir within her, as if it reacted to her mood.

She hummed as she placed her checkered rag over the food, and she clapped her hooves in delight. She trotted out of the kitchen, went upstairs to her and her husband's room, and then dragged him out of bed. Lemon fought back at first, but relented once he realized that fighting back too hard might end up hurting Sugar or the foal.

Once downstairs, they ate a quick breakfast, with Lemon curiously looking at the basket.

"Sugar," he asked. "What are you planning?"

"Oh… well, since Pinkamena can't visit our store anymore, I thought it'd be nice to visit her home." Sugar smiled brightly as she munched on some oats.

Lemon stared for a moment before he shook his head. "Sugar, we can't walk all the way there when you're so close to foaling."

"Don't worry, I'll be fine," Sugar said. "I'm not due for a couple more days, and I'm sure we can snatch up some time to drop on by and say hello to the Pie family."

"Can't that wait until after you have the baby?"

"Not so sure the bread and cheese can." She gestured to the basket as she said that. "Besides, Lemon, I've been dying to meet the rest of the Pies. Plus, someone's oughta get them out of hiding, since that newspaper article and Cortland owning up to his lies mean that the ridiculous rumor is dying down."

"I dunno… I still hear whispers…"

"Well, if it's about the Pies being abusive to their daughters, we'll just have to see for ourselves." Sugar grabbed the handle of the basket with her mouth and left the table. "I sure don't want any leftover rumors to become bigger problems later on, hm?"

Lemon jumped out of his seat. "But… but… the baby!"





Cortland was up bright and early to set up his family's stand. He had pulled the cart full of apples to the square, and was just putting up the sign when he glanced behind him. A couple of early risers were out on a walk, and he recognized them as the town gossips, Sky and Scarlet. When they saw him, they shot him a look of disappointment and began to whisper.

He looked away and snorted, straightening the sign. Never had he been more humiliated when he had been paraded around town, forced to tell ponies that no, there was no courtship between him and Pinkamena Pie. That newspaper article about the Pies had made things worse, and he had contemplated attacking the writer of that article, though he dropped the idea because it wouldn't be worth it.

And then there was that Cheese Sandwich, who had ruined everything the day he stepped into town. Behind those big glasses was a handsome, tempting stallion, he was sure, and already it seemed as if he had brainwashed the Pie sisters, especially Pinkamena. What was Igneous thinking, hiring a drifter like that?

And much to his chagrin, Cortland was stumped on how to get Cheese fired and run him out of town.

Framing him for a crime would just end up being too complicated. Murder required killing someone—and there was no way he was going to do that, stealing required Cheese to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and there was one other crime that not only made Cortland shudder, but the supposed "victims" would be too strong for Cheese to pin down, anyway.

There had to be some way to convince Igneous that Cheese was not worth keeping around. Cortland couldn't just straight up lie about some sort of misdeed or incompetence of Cheese; he was sure that the Pie stallion hated him and wouldn't believe his employee would do anything worth firing him over. Having been employed for a couple of months, that skinny stallion must have been doing something right to not have been fired.

Either way, thinking up a plan to get rid of him was hard. Cortland's head hurt just thinking about it.

Then, as he finished setting things up, there came the very stallion that he had been thinking about, walking down the street. It was surprising to see the employee of the Pies out and about, since most days the Pies preferred to be isolated. That got Cortland curious; what was Cheese Sandwich doing in town, and this early in the morning? Wouldn't he get in trouble with his employer?

Another concerning thing was that even from where Cortland stood, he could see that Cheese was in a bad mood. Cortland wanted to laugh, thinking that maybe Cheese finally slipped up and lost his job. He rubbed his hooves in anticipation, grateful that he didn't have to do anything to rid Nickerlite of the pathetic wanderer.

However, Cheese stopped and turned to a building, which Cortland recognized was Nickerlite's print shop. Why he was headed there with such a sour face was a mystery. After all, that reporter was hardly mean in the section in the article about Cheese, having called him things like "reserved" and "focused on the job."

He watched from afar as Cheese knocked on the door, and was greeted by a tired-looking blue unicorn, Purple Prose's nephew Bluejinx, who jumped at the sight of him. There were a couple words exchanged before Cheese was invited in.

Curiosity taking the better of him, Cortland left his stand and trotted to the print shop. He placed himself under the window, and scooted near a hole in the wood. He stopped when his ear was directly beside it, and he could hear the ensuing conversation.

"…I didn't even give you permission to write him!" Cheese snapped.

Another voice, which belonged to Bluejinx, spoke. "Look, I don't need your permission to write to one of my closest friends. Besides, he has every right to know where you are."

"Well, why? Why should he care about a brother that couldn't measure up to everyone's expectations? Why should he care about a brother who was mocked relentlessly by every bully in that school? Why should he care when he's got friends that have more to offer him than a stupid accordion and a half-baked singing voice that even Mom derided?"

There was a moment of silence, and Cortland dared not move in case they heard him. After that moment, he heard a deep breath and the answer, "I think the question is if you care. Obviously, the letter Tomato wrote to you tells me that he's eager to hear from you, so I'm sure he cares. But you? Did you even read it?"

"Well… uh… it's not like you read it."

"No, it's meant for your eyes, Cheese. I know you're hurt, but you can't avoid that letter forever. What if one of the Pies goes snooping?"

"Pfft, they don't snoop. My past is none of their business."

"I don't know… seems to me like Pinkamena will get into another's business if it concerns her. Keep this up and she'll be concerned for sure… especially if it turns out she has a crush on you."

Cortland was grinding his teeth at that, and just wanted to jump in there and buck both their faces in. His anger was tempered once Cheese burst into laughter, and all he could do was blink in confusion and listen further.

"Ahahaha, yeah, right," Cheese said. "Come on, me and her? That's never gonna happen. Igneous wouldn't hesitate to fire me if he finds out I've captured the heart of one of his daughters. But he doesn't need to worry, I'm not aiming to do that. I'm just there to earn some bits to get by, that's all."

"So, you intend to get back on the road?"

"Pfft, that's what my cutie mark is telling me. Still, I do admit it'll hurt to go. I like the Pies. Sure, they have rough exteriors and could punch your head off, but underneath it all, they have kind hearts, and they don't mind visitors. Igneous just doesn't like stallions coming near his daughters; considering a certain one that harassed his second oldest to practically being unable to leave."

Cortland huffed. Ya talkin' about me? Oh, Ah'm tempted to punch you right now.

Cheese sighed. "Sad, really, I could sense a free spirit in her when she sings."

"Sings?"

"With the voice of an angel… oh… and her smile that complements her big, blue eyes… yeah, she doesn't do either liberally, but when she does… wow…"

Ah'm really tempted to punch you now! Cortland could only grind his teeth, for he didn't want to make a racket. The tone of Cheese's voice was making red flags pop up, and that was something he couldn't ignore.

"But, like I said, she and her sisters are off limits to any stallion."

"Yes, they are forbidden fruit. That must be very tempting."

"Yeah, true, I can see why Cortland—wait a minute! We got off subject!"

"…darn, I was liking this tangent."

"Of course you would. You just can't face that maybe I don't want your so-called help! That maybe I'm better off wandering Equestria for the rest of my life! I certainly don't want to be stuck in that garbage can next to my brother's pedestal! I promised myself that I'm never going back, and I'm not about to break that promise."

Down on yerself, aren't ya? Cortland thought. Especially with this oh-so-special brother of yours over yer shoulder. Sounds like he'd be ashamed to know how low you've sunk.

"You… you…" Bluejinx sounded ready to explode, but kept an eerie calmness to his voice. "You know what? Fine. Leave him hanging, and let him think that you hate him. Keep avoiding this problem, and I'm sure it'll go away eventually. Just know that his pedestal means nothing to him without his big brother being his dearest friend."

There was a momentary silence, followed by a snort. The sound of hoofsteps meant that it was time for Cortland to skedaddle. Besides, as the sound of some deep and obnoxious voices told him, he needed to get back to his cart and drive away those stupid thugs that had been annoying townsfolk for weeks.

He approached the thugs raiding his cart and munching on some of the apples, and growled, "Ah sure hope y'all are willing to pay fer them apples."

Their leader turned to him, and answered, "Oh? And what makes you think that you can make us do that?"

Cortland dully stared at the brown stallion before punching him in the jaw in an upward motion. The others reeled in shock as their leader fell to the ground, and they backed up tentatively, staring at the Apple stallion with wide eyes.

"What, aren't ya gonna gang up on me and land a hit for yer leader?" He turned around and took a solid stance. "Ah'm warning you; mah back legs are stronger."

He looked forward, and Cheese was heading back up the street, back to the rock farm. His first thought was whether or not if Cheese even had permission to go into town. If he didn't, he was going to get in trouble with his boss. That led to another peculiar thought.

"Y'all have jobs here, right?" he asked the thugs. Glancing back at them, he saw them nod. "Don't ya realize that you're risking yer jobs by stealing?"

The leader was up once again, rubbing his jaw and groaning. Glaring at Cortland, he retorted, "It's none of your beeswax."

Cortland turned back around to face them. "It became mah business once you targeted mah cart. Really, yer behavior is just plain stupid, not ta mention cowardly. The moment somepony punches one of ya out, ya run and hide. Now… do ya have the bits to pay for the apples you took?"

The group collectively twiddled their hooves and looked away.

"Don't tell me. You spent it all at the saloon."

They all grinned sheepishly at him.

"Ugh… y'all owe me good amount of bits for those apples!" Cortland glanced down the street again, and tapped his chin. "Unless you can get some information on a pony named Tomato."

"Huh?" one of the thugs asked. "Is he… like… a competitor or something that grows tomatoes?"

"Oh, no, he don't live in Nickerlite, or any nearby town. Ah hear he's a friend of that Bluejinx feller, and they write letters to each other."

The leader narrowed his eyes. "Why are you so interested in somepony you don't know?"

"Oh… no reason. I'm just doing a favor fer a 'friend' of mine."





"Gee, Jinx, you've been a nosy, nosy pony," Cheese grumbled. "I'm not going back to Manehattan, lest those ponies remark about how much of a failure and loser I am, comparing me to Tommy, and wondering what stallion pride I could possibly hold. At least the Pies don't care about my social status."

His stomach dropped when he realized what he had done, and remembered Pinkamena's habit of rudely awakening him every morning. What was she going to think when she kicked open the door to find that he slipped out and left the farm? At this point in time, all the Pies were awake, and they most likely knew by now that he was gone.

"GAH! I'm so stupid!" With that, he broke into a gallop, questioning just what he was thinking when he had left the house that morning. Was he really thinking that he'd return before the Pies discovered he was gone? Now he was expecting for Igneous and Cloudy to give him a good rundown on why that was a bad idea and why he shouldn't do it again.

Still, he couldn't help but think of the last time he had done something like this: the night he ran away from home. For the first time, he wondered who it was that had opened his bedroom door, and found that he had slipped out without even so much as a goodbye. The thought of his brother being the one to have discovered that he ran away was sickening, and he couldn't help but feel shame.

Did I… did I let him down?

He shook his head and snorted as he continued to run. Why should I care? He let me down first.

The farm was just beginning to come in sight, as were the presence of a couple on the road. With a yelp, he skidded to a halt before he could crash into the ponies ahead of him, who had been startled by the yelp behind them and reflexively bucked. Cheese ducked, but one hoof collided with his forehead, and he found himself lying flat on his back with a throbbing bump forming above his eye.

"Oops! Sorry, Cheese! Didn't know it was you!"

He recognized the voice belonging to Sugar Glider. Sure enough, just above him were the candy shop owners, looking down at him with concern etched on their faces. He blinked in confusion at the sight of the two.

"Oh… it's fine…" Cheese sat up on his haunches, and gingerly touched the bump with his hoof. Wincing, he asked, "So, uh, what are you doing out here?"

Lemon Drop held a half-lidded look. "Sugar here insisted that we drop by for a visit. I tried to talk her out of it, reminding her that we have a foal due sometime this week, possibly even today, but she wouldn't hear it! I was worried she'd drop in the middle of the road and give birth right there!"

Sugar rolled her eyes. "Lemon, you worry too much."

"I'm worrying just the right amount, just so you know." Lemon turned back to Cheese. "Say… what were you doing behind us? Aren't you supposed to be over there with the Pies?"

Cheese grimaced. "I… uh… was kinda… restless last night. Wasn't thinking, and now I'm going to face the music…"

"Huh, restless," Sugar said, pawing at the ground and glancing at her flank. "We all get that way from time to time…"

"Well, don't worry, I don't think it's grounds for getting fired," Lemon said. "I'm sure there will be a warning, though."

Cheese sighed. "Yeah. You kind of choose a funny time to visit. Not sure how the Pies will react to yet another visitor. In case you haven't noticed… it doesn't happen all that often."

"Well, we're so close." Sugar clapped her hooves and looked at Lemon. "Let's make the most of our visit, dear. I'm sure that Pinkamena will be happy to see us."