When I was younger, I was obsessed with finding out what made me special. I tried tons of stupid and embarrassing things, just to see if I had some sort of natural ability. I was naive and had nothing better to do since I pretty much sucked at anything apple related.
My two best friends in the entire world had found theirs before me and went out into the world to try new things. Scootaloo got hers from doing cool tricks and stunts on her little scooter while Sweetie Belle got hers from acting and musical debuts at the Ponyville theater. I was left alone with a bare flank for all my efforts.
I was almost sixteen and I still hadn't found my special talent. Not to mention I was also afraid I would be stuck on my family's apple farm for the rest of my life. It's not that I didn't love my family...I just really wanted to feel complete. Apples are nice but I wanted something much more than just a pat on the back for all of my efforts.
I wanted to find my cutiemark.
* * * *
The cool grass tickled my back and hind legs as I lay in the cool shade of a tall apple tree. I was sipping at a cold bottle of my family's secret recipe apple juice (everything seemed to have a 'secret recipe' around there) and yawned as I looked up. Light filtered through the thick foliage of the tree and created splotches of golden color across the sparse grass.
I was supposed to be bucking the apples off the sturdy tree, but instead found myself daydreaming about being somewhere else. Maybe I was with Scoots...or Sweetie. I would even take egghead Twilight Sparkle if that meant I could leave the boring old farm I called home.
I knew that if Applejack or Big Macintosh found me lazying around I would be in for a severe punishment but I didn't care. I wasn't even decent when it came to applebucking...and they had told me to do it anyway.
"Applebloom! Applebloom! Time for dinner!" Applejack called from the work shed just about a quarter of a mile away. I was momentarily snapped from my daydreaming and called back to her.
"Ima comin sis! I'll be there in just a second!" I shouted back. With a small, faint shout of approval, Applejack's orange silhouette disappeared from the side of the small building.
Now was my chance to actually tell them the idea that had been brewing in my head for the last few months (since I had been too shy to ask). With that thought in mind, I raced to the farm house down the lone dirt path leading through the orchard.
* * * *
"Applebloom! Where have you been?! It looks like ya were rollin' around in the pig pen again! Go get washed up." Applejack scolded as I walked through the farm house door. I gave a defeated sigh before turning up the stairs toward the bathroom. It's not like I would have won that battle. I did smell like a pigsty.
I opened the door to the little bathroom and entered before closing it behind me. There was a shower, a small metal wash basin with a faucet, a sink, a medicine cabinet, and a large oak wardrobe where we kept soap and towels.
My hooves clicked across the cold tile as I turned on the faucet and filled the metal wash basin with lukewarm water. I grabbed a bar of soap and a small towel before returning to the full wash basin. I lathered up the washcloth and slowly began to scrub the daily grime away.
The tepid water helped calm down the bubbling unease inside of me. I wasn't sure how she would take the news of me wanting to leave the farm. She did it when she was even younger than me and still came back with her cutiemark! Why couldn't I do the same thing! I knew just the place to go, too.
I grabbed a larger towel and slowly began to dry the dripping water off of my muzzle. I looked into the mirror and into my own amber eyes. I wasn't sure how Applejack would take the news of me wanting to leave the farm. Granny Smith and Big Mac might understand, but Applejack? I might as well have dug my own grave.
"Applebloom!!! Yer food's gettin' cold!!! Hurry up would ya?" Applejack hollered from the bottom of the stairs, momentarily interrupting my thoughts.
"Ya sis'! I'll be down in a second!" I shouted back before throwing the damp towel into a laundry basket.
My destiny depended on this.
* * * *
The table was covered in apple pie and other assorted vegtables. I felt my tummy grumble at the promise of food but shrugged it off when I remembered the task at hoof. Applejack looked at me with slight concern before returning to the pie she had been scarfing down.
"So, Applebloom? What is it you've been wantin' to tell us?" she asked with an upraised brow and a muzzle covered in pie. How did she know? I swallowed hard, feeling something along the lines of butterflies in my stomach.
"Well...ah...uhm..." I stammered, trying to form the words in my mouth. At that point I considered lying to her but...AJ was practically a lie detector. I had no choice but to ask.
"Ah...ah uhm...well...ah wanna leave the farm so ah can find mah cutiemark." I said sharply. Applejack looked at me with a straight face before her mouth dropped open.
"You what?!" She balked, her eyes showing more disbelief than anger. A good sign I guess? It's not like there was any turning back at that point.
"Ah...Ah wanna go to Appleloosa. Visit Braeburn and see if ah can get mah cutiemark while ahm there. Ah promise ah won't make any problems...ah just really want to go! Please Applejack? Please?" I begged while putting on my best beg face. I hadn't done it that well since Twilight came to town.
"Ab-so-lute-ly not!" Applejack snorted. Her emerald green eyes rolled as I continued to beg.
"Why not Applejack? Ahm a big pony now! Please let me go! Please? Mah whole future depends on this. Ah can feel it!" I pleaded hoping that maybe she'd understand but that stubborn look on her face told me she wasn't budging.
"Yer not a big pony Applebloom! Ya can barely walk outside without blowing somethin' up! Now ya wanna go to Appleloosa? I might as well shoot ya now!" she barked.
"What's wrong with Appleloosa? Is it cuz of Braeburn? It's not his fault that his daddy passed away! Let me visit him Applejack? Ahm sure he'd be mighty grateful to have me there. Last time he saw me was at that produce competition when ah was just a filly." I whimpered, hoping she might see the opportunity that was right in our faces.
"Not a chance Applebloom! Appleloosa has gotten mighty dangerous after all those new rowdy settlers moved in. Ah can't let ya go there! Ahm positive Braeburn will be fine too. He's a full grown stallion and ah think he can handle himself." she grunted again.
"But Applejack...ahm a full grown mare! I can handle mahself better than any old buck! Not ta mention you left home when ya were younger than me! Please jus' let me go?" I fussed, hoping that maybe she would agree. By the way she was looking I could tell it was a losing battle.
"Ah said NO Appplebloom!!! And that is FINAL!!!" Applejack bellowed, slamming a hoof against the table for emphasis. I looked to Granny Smith and Big Mac, but they just looked at me with pity. Why weren't they saying anything?
I could feel tears burning in my eyes as I got up from the table and ran for the stairs. I was so frustrated with Applejack overprotecting me. It's like the lesson we'd learned from the Chimera hadn't changed a thing!
"Ah hate you Applejack! Ya never let me do anythin' on mah own!" I shouted before running up the stairs. I could feel hot tears running down my cheeks as I slammed my door behind me. At that point...I did the only thing a teenage filly could do. I buried my muzzle into my pillow and cried my eyes out to my heart's content.
* * * *
The sounds of crickets and a cool breeze rapping at my window coaxed me awake. I had a slight headache, a dry mouth, and a craving for something sweet. Side effects for bawling my eyes out, I guessed. I rubbed my swollen eyes and looked outside my window to see the dark silhouettes of leaves and tree trunks.
The smell of leaves, apples, and damp earth, reminded me of the Zap Apple harvest I had when I was a filly. How I felt when I actually learned to appreciate Granny and then we all came together to make the best Zap Apple jam I'd ever tasted. It seemed so long ago that we'd all been happy. Why couldn't it be like that again?
Why couldn't Scoots ad Sweetie still be here doing dumb cutiemark crusader adventures like we used to? Why couldn't Applejack be less overprotective like right after she'd fought the Chimera? Why didn't Granny Smith and Big Mac speak up when Applejack said no?!
A cool breeze ruffled my mane and helped me relax. Why did life have to be so unfair? Why couldn't I just have my cutiemark and be successful like everypony else? Why did I have to be such a loser? Mommy and Daddy would have been very disappointed in me.
"Ah just can't let her go, Granny. It's not a matter of if she's ready ah jus'...ahm afraid for her safety. Braeburn ain't what he used to be. You saw how beat up he looked at the funeral. Ahm afraid he might hurt Applebloom or somethin'. Ah just really want her to stay away from Appleloosa, she's safe here." a muffled voice weeped from the floorboards. It sounded a lot like Applejack.
I looked at the slight cracks in the floor to see Granny Smith, AJ, and Big Mac sitting on an old couch in the family room. Granny looked tired, as if she added a few years onto her age in the last few hours, Big Mac looked sad, like how Applejack said when she'd told her cutiemark story, and Applejack looked distraught. Her mane was a mess, her eyes were puffy from crying, not to mention she was clutching a picture of mommy and daddy tight in her hooves.
"Now Applejack." Granny cooed in a motherly way. "Applebloom is a grown mare now, she can make her own decisions. Appleloosa might be a bit more dangerous than when she was a filly, but she's stronger than ya realize. And Braeburn would never hurt her...he's just a little broken after what happened to his daddy. Who wouldn't be?"
"Ah know Granny, it's just that...she's an Apple. And Apples always find their cutiemarks in apples. You, me, and Mac all found ours in apples. I just think she should stay here and find her special talent in apples." Applejack snorted stubbornly. Once again the battle was lost.
"You can't force these kinda things, AJ. It just don't work that way." a familiar baritone voice spoke. "You remember that we let you do this too, right?
"B-but Big Mac...Applebloom might get hurt...Ah don't want that...and neither do you." Applejack whimpered in slight disbelief. I was a bit shocked too. Big Mac hadn't spoken that much since we created Gabby Gums in the school newspaper.
Big Mac opened his mouth to speak but his words were too muffled to hear. Applejack gave a defeated frown and a nod as he continued to speak. I tried my hardest to get a better listen without making the boards squeak underneath me. I moved a little closer to the crack to get a better view but the floor groaned hideously loud beneath my hooves. I looked into the crack to see Granny, Big Mac, and Applejack giving confused looks towards the ceiling.
"I hopped into bed and covered myself with the blankets in an attempt to hide my shame and embarrassment for getting caught. A feeling of dread started to form in my stomach as I realized how much trouble I was going to be in. It felt like hours waiting for the knock on my door, but when it came...I wasn't ready.
"Come on in." I whimpered from underneath the covers. I knew I was too old but I could picture a spanking from Granny Smith. To my surprise it was Mac, who just stood there with his natural stoic expression.
"Come downstairs." He mumbled before turning and trotting away. I once again felt exposed and embarrassed, despite being covered with tons of blankets. I had no choice but to go.
* * * *
The stairs creaked slightly with every step I took. I kept my head low so that I would be braced for any blow or scolding. I sat down in the chair across from the couch and looked up. I had expected to see an angry Applejack that would have loved to applebuck me upside the head but...she just looked tired.
I sat up a little straighter, obviously noting the depressed behavior in my family. Why did they all seem so sad?
"Applebloom?" Applejack murmured quietly against the picture still in her hooves. "Do ya really want to go to Appleloosa?"
"Of course. If it means ah might get mah cutiemark. Ah also wanna see how Braeburn is doin'. Ya told me how sad he was and ah think it's time ah paid him a visit." I said with a small smile. Applejack didn't look at me, instead she began to brush the picture with her hooves.
"Momma and Daddy would have wanted to see ya grow up...and now ahm takin' that for granted. Ahm gonna let ya go Applebloom, but only cuz that's what they would have wanted." Applejack sobbed against the picture. I felt bad for makig her feel that way, but it was something I just had to do.
"Ahm sorry Applejack. Ah just really want to find out what makes me special." I whispered quietly as I wrapped my hooves around her strong neck. Applejack didn't say a word...she just continued to cry.
"Ah don't hate ya Applejack. Ah love you."