//------------------------------// // 219. Adventures in Homeownership: Smexyfuntimes by Honey Mead // Story: The Sun and the Stars: A Twilestia Prompt Collab // by Fuzzyfurvert //------------------------------// by Honey Mead *** Adventures in Homeownership with Sunny Skies and Dusky Sparks: Smexyfuntimes “I can explain that.” “Oh, I think I understand perfectly.” Glancing at the small purse and attached card, Dusky added, “I am very disappointed in you, Sunny." She paused. "You’ve been a very bad filly, haven’t you?” Sunny’s eyes sparked briefly before she dropped her gaze to Dusky’s hooves. The heat of embarrassment was replaced by a flush of excitement as her heart rate nearly doubled. Despite herself, her eyes kept edging upwards, hoping to glimpse her wife’s expression, only to be forced back down. “I’m sorry! I’ll never do it again.” “Ah ah ah. You didn’t answer my question.” Sunny’s blush deepened as she lowered her head so that, if she was going to look at Dusky's eyes, it was from a low angle. There was a light behind those violet eyes, a weak ember of disappointment, yes, but that was almost unnoticeable beside the inferno that burned beside it. Her voice was weak, barely audible, “Yes, I’ve been a bad filly.” “And what do we do with bad fillies?” Looking away again, Sunny mumbled, “They are punished.” “What was that? I couldn’t hear you.” “They are punished,” she repeated a little louder. “That’s right. They are—” the door slammed shut, smacking Sunny’s flanks and making her stumble the rest of the way inside to land prone at Dusky’s hooves, “—punished.” — — One minute, fifty-six point seven five seconds later — — Knock Knock Knock “I wonder who that could be?” “But—” “Ah ah ah. Good fillies only speak when spoken to, and if you want to get back on my good side, you’re going to have to be a very good filly. You stay right there while I go see who it is.” Sunny bit her lip to keep her frustrations under wraps. She could only listen as her wife’s hooves clopped down the hall to the front door. Muffled voices trekked back to her through the walls for a few seconds. Once they stopped, she could hear Dusky’s hooves making the return trip. Her breaths sped up in anticipation. “The neighbors have invited us over for dinner," Dusky began sweetly, "isn't that nice of them?” — — One hour, fourteen minutes, twenty seconds later and a large meal later— — Sunny and Dusky waved a final goodnight to their neighbor before closing the front door. Rubbing her stuffed tummy, Sunny started to wander toward the living room couch, fully intent on laying down and remaining there until it was time to go to school in the morning. “And where do you think you’re going, Missy?” Sunny cowered down, glancing over her withers to see an annoyed Dusky glaring back. “I was…” “You thought I’d forgotten—” “No! I—” Sunny bit her tongue, but it was too late. “And now you’re interrupting me? Bedroom. Now!” Sunny scampered down the hallway. — — Three minutes later — — Knock Knock Knock It was a difficult thing, combining a whimper, a sigh, a groan, and a curse and forcing them out around a bit and bridle… but Sunny managed it. Dusky patted Sunny lovingly on the rump. “I’ll just go see who it is and send them away.” Once again, Sunny was forced to listen as Dusky trotted down the hall to the door. “Oh,” Dusky called out loud enough that Sunny could hear her, “Mr. Redink, what a pleasant surprise.” Sunny jumped out of bed as quick as she could, fighting against the harness that restrained most of her limbs. Curses unspoken for generations fell in droves as the infernal thing refused to come off. “What do you mean Sunny forgot to sign a few of the forms?” Dusky asked through obviously gritted teeth. “That doesn’t sound like my Sunny at all.” — — Thirty-four minutes, twenty signatures, and two wardrobe changes later — — Knock Knock Knock Sunny nearly cried. — — fifteen minutes and eight boxes of Filly Scout cookies later — — Knock Knock Knock “That is it!” Celestia roared, inadvertently throwing a startled Dusky Sparks across the room as she suddenly took up significantly more space than she had a moment before. Golden magic threw the tattered remains of her harness into the open closet. Shaking her head, unused to the ever flowing locks, she started stomping toward the door and the poor, unfortunate pony on the other side. She made it halfway there before a sharp tug on her tail caused her to stop and look back. Dusky stared up at her in a way that still managed to make it seem like she was looking down at her. “No, Tia.” Celestia would have turned around, but the she was far too big in a hallway that was far too small. “But—” “No.” “Every time—” “I know.” “I just want—” “So do I.” Dusky nuzzled the back of Celestia’s leg, planting a tender kiss on the sun. “So do I.” Knock Knock Knock “Just let me take care of them, and then I’ll make sure nopony else bothers us tonight, okay?” Celestia sighed. “Okay.” — — Five minutes and one perturbed door-to-door salespony later — — Two earth ponies, one green, the other light blue, wearing nice, clean, white shirts with black ties, trotted up to the most cottage-esque cottage to ever be, and stopped. “Uhm… what’s that doing there?” Green asked. Blue scratched his chin. “I’m not even sure what it is.” “I think it’s a sock.” Blue gave Green a strange look. “Why would anypony put a sock on a door handle?” Green shrugged. “Beats me.” “Some ponies,” Blue sighed, then shrugged. “Well, let’s get this over with.” Knock Knock Knock