//------------------------------// // The Noot in our Stars // Story: Discord's Diary // by 007Delta //------------------------------// Oh thank Celestia! Literally! I am once again a free Draconeqqus! I waved a goodbye to Coat of Arms, who kept me such good company for the week, and set foot outside the city line for the first time in seven whole days. Oh, how I've missed the world and it's varied landscapes, the beautiful hills beneath Cloudsdale, the rolling plains at the foot of Canterlot, the gentle snows upon the valley in Vanhoover, the- yeah I'm bored. With the termination of my town arrest, Celestia is still quite cautious of me, and I can't really have the fun that I am accustomed to. I can leave Ponyville, but I still have sit pretty, lest I want to upset the pony on top, and there is just no telling what she'll do if I get out of hand again. So it was at that moment that I let out a long weary sigh of unparalleled boredom and defeat, with a little bit of sadness sprinkled in it. Looks like it was back to the badlands for this reformed spirit of chaos. Fluttershy was a little upset with me over the whole incident, so I haven't seen her in a couple days... I honestly hope she isn't too mad at me, after all I was doing all of it for her... So it is here I find myself once again, on my rock in the middle of nowhere, just south of Apploosa, thinking once more. Oh I miss being free, being able to do whatever I want at a moments notice, not having to worry about what others thought or cared. Now, I'm afraid I couldn't do it even if I tried. I'm tied down. If I stay loyal to my true nature, I'll lose the trust of everyone I've come to care about, not to mention I'll possibly end up back in a stone statue or some other inescapable prison... It really gets me thinking if I should just cut my losses and try my claw at making Equestria the chaos cap- oooh would you look at that! As I was contemplating my life dilemma, I noticed something beside my rock. It was a small little ball of brown fluff, with two pointy ears sticking out from behind his head. He was rummaging through the dirt with his back to me, before turned around, revealing a trumpet for a mouth. A Noot Noot! Oh, I thought they died in the desert heat weeks ago! Turns out my little creations survived after all! Hmm... But where were they hiding this whole time? I haven't seen them in a very, very long time... That's when the good ol' spirit of chaos decided to do a little espionage! With a snap of my fingers, I shrunk myself down to his size and spied on him atop my now enourmous rock. That's when I noticed the little brown Noot Noot was holding something... Was that a bow and arrow? Aaaaw! I watched the Noot Noot prowl along the baked ground if the badland, before coming across a small prairie dog a few yards away. He drew a little twig of an arrow from behind his back, notched it, took a deep breath aaaaand... "Oh my goodness aren't you the cutest!" I exclaimed, appearing beside the Noot Noot, causing him to let out a little horn punch of surprise as he shot his arrow, arching far over the prairie dog. He fell over in surprise, catching his prey's attention, who promptly ran away. The Noot Noot then stood up and threw his little bow agaisnt the ground in anger and lunged at me. "Noot Noooooot!" It honked in anger, drawing a small knife and making a swipe at me. I wasn't expecting him to retaliate so quickly, but I expertly fumbled to the side in surprise, so masterfully causing him to just barely miss me. But you see, this is where things get a bit dire... Before I could recover, he tackled me from behind, pinning me to the ground. Just as I was about to snap my fingers and get myself out of there, he took his little knife and poked my horn and antler, leaving a numbing sensation on my head, before everything went black. I know, I know, how could I have been bested by an adorable little rabbit with a trumpet for a mouth? Well, before you laugh, these things are crafty little devils! And I so foolishly shrunk down to their size, and boy are they stronger than they look! I really outdid myself on making these things. I awoke in a dark, dirty cave, with stall twigs arranged vertically like a cell in front. I had quite the headache, and as I looked around, I noticed these little wooden tendrils in the ceiling. Were these... Roots? Hmm... So I was underground, that much is certain. "Well, I'd better get out of here," I thought, snapping my fingers for a teleportation spell. Except I was still in the cell. "What in the blazing fires of Tartarus?" I exclaimed, a little quaver of uncertainty in my voice. I snapped my fingers yet again, but there was no effect. How could this be? Was I losing my mind? Am I going through magipause? Was my magic being blocked by Tim Howard? Never before had this happened to me, as I could always rely on my trusty horns to generate magic which I could- Wait... My horns! I reached an exasperated claw to the top of my head, only to find they weren't there! That conniving little Noot Noot stole them! Oh I was going to give them a piece of my mind! I stormed up to the feeble little twigs that served as cell bars and grabbed hold of them. Then with a mighty heave... I realized that they too were much stronger than they looked. What is the meaning of all this?! Was the spirit of chaos being held captive by nothing more than twigs and a foot of dirt? This was certainly a new low for me. Literally, I was underground. So I sat down and began thinking. How could I escape? Couldn't go through the walls, can't teleport, couldn't break the twigs... I suppose I just have to wait until a guard comes by, then perhaps I can knock him out and take his key. A while later, sure enough, a guard came by. I was masterfully prepared by sleeping on the floor, anticipating his- yeah, I forgot about my plan and I got bored and sleepy. He awoke me with a rough kick in my back, before honking something with his trumpet mouth that I didn't understand. I got up, before two small spears were pointed at me, and a third Noot Noot picked me up and led me out of the cell. We walked through a few winding tunnels, and in the distance, I could hear some sort of loud cacophony, like hundreds of brass instruments being played at once. The three Noot Noot guards threw me in another room, except this one was all wooden. The sound of trumpets was louder here, like the source of the noise was just above me. I could here a few sounds like metal being hit against metal, and the noise of the trumpets would rise accordingly... And suddenly, it got eerily quiet. Then, I felt the ground rumble, like gears were turning underneath... And then the room began rising! A small platform opened up above, and I was lifted into the last place I would have ever expected. I was in an enourmous colosseum. Well, it wasn't really enormous, I was still shrunken down, but from my size, it was huge. There were a couple of lifeless Noot Noots scattered about the arena, and one particularly large one in armor, wielding a large axe. He had small paintings of insects allover his armor, with a large one in the center of his breastplate. "Oh I get it, bunnies and bugs. Clever," There were hundreds of Noot Noots watching and cheering, almost as if they wanted us to... "Uh oh," I said as the large Noot Noot charged towards me. He took a large swing of his weapon, leaving me to duck out of the way and jump to the sides. He then turned around, sweeping his axe near my feet as he did so. I jumped over the sweeping blade, but without my magic, I couldn't fight him unarmed. That's when I caught side of a shield, which looked to be made out of a small segment of cactus bark. It wasn't a weapon, but it would give me some defense. I slithered over to the shield and slipped it on my lions paw, holding it in front of me. There were still some spines jutting from it, but I doubt it would do much against this hulking Noot Noot. I had to find a weapon. Just as I thought that, the gigantic, axe-wielding rabbit took another shot at me. This time, he tried to lower the axe in a powerful downward strike, but I managed to sidestep out of the way. As his axe was wedged in the ground, I jumped and bashed the shield to his helmet, causing him to lose his bearings. I heard the crowd explode into laughter-like "Noots!" As he fumbled around. I had just enough time to pick up a spare sword left lying on the ground by one of the slain gladiator Noot Noots. As I turned around, I was able to raise my shield just in time as the giant Noot Noot took another swing. The shield took the impact, but as a result, the axe was now wedged into my shield. Which I was still holding onto. So I was now being lifted off my feet, which is not a good thing when in battle with a rabbit gladiator, but as a result, I did catch sight of something rather curious... There in the crowd, on a raised pedestal, was a regal looking Noot Noot wearing a familiar set of horns and antlers... "I wonder who those could belong to," I said as the large gladiator grabbed hold of me and threw me into the air, leaving me to arch rather painfully onto the ground. I heard the crowd cheer and honk as I tumbled through the dirt, and I watched as the big gladiator cheered and basked in the limelight. And then it hit me. Those horns on that other rabbits head were mine! If I could just grab those, I could show these Noot Noots who's really boss! All I had to do was scramble up the side and snatch the horns! But there was one angry gladiator in the way, and my shield was in splinters... I charged at the rabbit, my sword held high in an offensive stance. The rabbit took a swing at me, just as I'd expected, but I jumped and landed on the flat of the weapon, using it to propel myself into the air. Then with a stylish and sexy twirl, I lashed my sword out in a maelstrom of steel and skill. I then landed in a roll, and continued my run towards the emperor Noot Noot. I jabbed my sword into the wall and used it to climb up to the top, eliciting honk of outrage around the arena. I noticed a few armed guards rushing up to stop me, but I had to get my horns! I scrambled to the top and pounced on the emperor, grabbing my horns and jabbing them on my head. Ooh! It was like plugging something in! I could just feel the power flow through me. Then with a snap of my fingers, I was growing back to my normal size. I burst through the dirt of the ceiling as I continued to grow, and the Noot Noots before me began to flee in terror. I felt it appropriate to make loud roaring noises at the time. As the last of the Noot Noots fled, I let out a long laugh. That was the most fun I've had in a long while! Who knows what other adventures there are out there? So that's what I did today! Hopefully your happy to see that I minimized my chaos. I thought it would be a good change of speed to downsize. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I think I kicked some brass tod- okay I'm done.