//------------------------------// // Of Afros, Mustaches, and Leprechauns (Everypony, Comedy/Random) // Story: Bombastic Bookpony's Bazaar of Oneshots // by Bombastic Bookpony //------------------------------// “Ughhhhh,” Twilight groaned as she awoke from the cold hard floor of Sugarcube Corner. “What happened last night?” She surveyed her surroundings, and quickly noticed four of her best friends on the floor as well. “Ohhh, please don’t tell me we had a big orgy! The gossip columns are gonna be so smug about this!” “Dear, could you please lower your voice, my head is killing me,” Rarity whine-, er, complained as she rose from the floor. Twilight gasped when she saw her face. “What dear? What is it? Is my mane green again? Is there something in my teeth? Did,” she gasped, “DID PINKIE PUT A FEZ ON MY HEAD I’LL KILL HER I SWEAR TO CELESTIA I WILL.” “You-you have …” “I need my mirror!” she levitated it out of her mane and gasped. “I have a mustache!?” “I must’ve used spell 25 last night! Llet me-” “No! Keep it! I look positively dapper! Why, if I were split in two at this very moment, oh the things I’d do to that mustache...” “Don’t need that mental image.” “I meant fashionwise, Twilight. Get your mind out of the gutter.” “Woah girls, my head feels swirly and weird!” Pinkie exclaimed as she finally got on her feet. “Your head always feels like that, I bet,” Dash snarked, still holding her head on the floor. “Yeah, but it feels extra weird today!” “Pinkie, darling, where’d you get that atrocious afro!? And that awful color scheme! And those horrid dots!” Rarity exclaimed, looking as though she was gonna puke. “Huh?” Pinkie looked at herself, and Rarity was right, she was colored strangely. “I’m not really Pinkie right now, am I? I’m more like Circusey!” “Now I really want to find out what happened last night,” Twilight commented. “Detective time!” Pinkie exclaimed, putting on her detective face. “No hats this time?” “Silly Twilight, detective hats on a circus pony? That would be ridiculous! Now,” she put her hoof on her chin and pondered, “Obviously last night had some connection to the circus. What do we associate with the circus? There’s that catchy dadadada sound. There’s the afro. There’s the polka dots, and there’s the word. Hmmmm. Dadadada. Circus.” She explored the words, rolling them in her head.  “Dadadada. Afro. Circus, afro, circus, afro, polka dot, polka dot, polka dot, afro! UGH!” Pinkie cried and slunk to the floor resignedly. “I have no idea how that has anything to do with last night!” “Heh, who cares? You all look ridiculous and I have something to laugh about! Win win!” Dash chuckled. “Dashie?” “Yeah, Pinks?” “You’ve got something on your wing.” “Wha-” It was small, and green, with a peculiar orange beard. Its skin was white, and it looked out of this world. “Ugh, I’m here at the end of the rainbow! Where be me gold!?” he yelled in a strange accent. “Who the heck are you!?” “Give me my gold, ya thief!” He conjured up a pick axe out of nowhere and began to hack at her wing. “AGH!” she screamed. “Get him off get him off get him off!” “Allow me, sugarcube!” AJ exclaimed, finally awake. The area including and surrounding her left eye was replaced with a metal plate, and her eye glowed red. This did not happen last night, but rather the night before. That was a funny tale. I’ll have to tell you it later. Anywho, she shot a laser out of her eye at the strange creature on Rainbow’s wing. The creature deftly avoided it, causing it to instead hit Rainbow’s skin. “AJ! Watch where you're aiming!”         “Sorry!” She tried again, and the beast once again avoided it. This, along with the pain of the thing’s pickaxe, caused Dash to fly in a panic, desperately trying to shake her intruder off as well as avoid AJ’s laser. “Hold still, darn it!” the farmer exclaimed as they went into the kitchen.         Twilight was watching with a blank stare, while Rarity was too focused on her beautiful mustache to notice. Pinkie was fooling around with her afro.         “Shouldn’t we, um, help them?” Fluttershy commented from a chair she was sitting on.”         “Fluttershy? How come you seem just fine?”         “Oh, I was the designated trotter.”         “So you must know what happened!”         “Um, no. I was completely sober and even I have no idea what happened last night. I don’t think mere mortals like us are supposed to remember what happened last night.”         “Huh,” Twilight muttered conversationally. “Just another night in Ponyville.”