//------------------------------//
// The Royal Pizza Inspection 
// Story: Friendship is Epic - Book 1: My Big Flare (COMPLETE REMAKE) 
// by FlareGun45 
//------------------------------//

One beautiful sunny day (or at least it was partly cloudy out), I went outside and went to my mailbox, taking out a few letters. I then went back inside my trailer and sat down on my office chair near my fish tank. “Oh I hope he has that new recipe for fish flakes.” Yoyo hoped.

“He doesn’t even make the flakes, Yoyo. He just buys them from the store.” Piddles corrected him.

“Oh on the contrary, Piddles. They seem homemade; made with love.” Yoyo said.

“Everything Flare does is made with love, or so he says.” Dorthey said.

“I can feel the love inside me! I can feel it penetrate me!” Darrel said excitedly.

“Do you even listen to yourself, Darrel?” Piddles asked.

"Let's see what we got here.... bill, bill, bill, donate to the children’s hospital, a royal letter. Nothing special." I said as I threw all my letters aside. "You know fishies? At times like these I really want to host a special event. Nothing like New Year’s though. Ponies always overdo it with their fireworks.”

A cutaway shows me playing a game on my XBUCKS, and all my attention was focused upon it. “Alllllright… I gotta be extra careful… I have to concentrate… let’s not fall off this rickety bridge… there’s no ogre playing around on it… almost there, aaaaaaaand…” but before I could get across I hear a booming sound coming from outside which really startles me. “Oh c’mon! It’s December 26th! It’s not New Year’s yet! Quit launching your fireworks!” I yelled out. I went back to play on my game. Luckily, my character never fell off the bridge so I was still good. “Alright, thank Wizard of Feelings I’m still in! Alright, concentrate…”

“Flare, can I borrow some crackers?” Spike asked as he popped up from behind me.

“AAAAAH!” I yelled as he startled me and my character fell in the lava and died. I just sat there with a huge shocking look on my face, with my frown drooping down about a foot to the ground and my eyes were big and my pupils were small.

“So crackers?” Spike asked again. I didn’t say anything. “Flare? Helloooooo?” Spike waved in front of my face. “Are you sleeping?”

“Pantry.” I mumbled angrily.

“Thanks, dude!” Spike said excitedly as he started whistling and he walked out. The cutaway ends.

“I really don’t like getting boring mail, you fishies know that? All I got is three bills, a hospital donation, and a royal letter. I mean what’s so fun about that?” I complained.

“Is he serious?” Dorthey asked.

“I know! Isn’t getting mail fun?” Darrel asked.

“I swear these bills, donation and royal letter are as ridiculous as losing the little rubber thing on your headphones.” I complained.

“Is he not at least a bit concerned about the royal letter?” Pearl asked. “This is big news right here!”

“Look at these headphones, fishies. Look at them!” I yelled as I showed my headphones to my fish. “See? This side has a little rubber thing on it, and this side does not. I can’t even fit the left side on my ear anymore without it!” I placed my headphones on my ears and the left side falls out once I let go. “See?! These things are so easy to lose!”

“When is he going to notice the letter?” Dorthey asked.

“Beats me, but I’m sure he’ll find out eventually.” Rainbow said.

“Oh wait, one of these letters…” I said as I observed them.

“See? Told you.” Rainbow said.

“One of these bills isn’t a bill! It’s an income tax refund! WOO HOO!” I cheered.

“You were saying, Rainbow?” Dorthey asked mischievously to him. Pearl swims up to the top of the tank really fast and squirts water on the royal letter that was sitting on the counter.

“Sheesh, Pearl! You’re pretty jumpy today. You got this royal letter all wet. You should be careful.” I said. Pearl facefinned herself.

“Face it, Pearl. It’s the less important things he worries about, and the more important things he worries about less.” Piddles said.

A cutaway shows a great big Cragadile from the Everfree Forest invading Ponyville. Ponies started screaming and running all over the place as the Cragadile attacked. As for me, I was sitting on a park bench and looking at my phone. “I know this is terrible!” I panicked. “Look at this newsletter I got! It says there’s a Cragadile attacking Ponyville but I don’t see one anywhere! This is such a rip-off of news! What’s the Media runned by, monkeys? The same monkeys that are in charge of Hasbro?!” Just then the cragadile crawled up behind me and roared at me. I just looked at it with a blank impression on my face. “You’re not a cragadile, you’re an amphigator. You have U-shaped snout while cragadiles have a more V-shape.”

The amphigator sighed. “There’s just no fooling you ponies, huh? Well thanks a lot for ruining my hunting spree.” The amphigator complained as he started crawling back into Everfree Forest. 

“Yeah you can’t fool me. Amphigators don’t live in Everfree Forest, they live in Hollow Shades.” I corrected him.

“Maaaaaan!” the amphigator complained. The cutaway ends.

“Oh look at this!” I said as I noticed the royal letter on the table.

“It’s about time he noticed.” Rainbow said.

“Senpai noticed you royal letter!” Yoyo said. I moved the royal letter to the side and saw another letter under it. “Health Inspector is coming to my shop tomorrow. I better get prepared.”

“JUST PICK UP THE ROYAL LETTER YOU DUMMY!” Darrel yelled.

“Whoa, Darrel!” Yoyo said with a surprised tone.

“Don’t worry, I didn't call him stupid. Dummy isn't as dumb as stupid, believe me.” Darrel said.

“Oh look at this! It’s a royal letter from… Shining Armor! Wow, how did he know my address?” I asked as I opened the letter. “I prefer it being from Princess Luna, but no prob.” I started reading the letter out loud after I cleared my throat. "Dear Flare Gun, My wife and I were thinking of going out to dinner in Ponyville. I will be greatly appreciated if you can provide Cadance and I with a V.I.P. dinner for two at your best seat in the restaurant. It’s Cadance and mine’s anniversary since we first met, and I want to make sure she has the best dinner you can ever make. I promise I’ll pay royally handsome for it. We’ll be at your shop tonight at 8 PM, Ponyville time. Thanks a bunch for your time. Sincerely, Shining Armor.”

After reading the letter, I stopped and I thought to myself for a second; “I wonder what he meant by paying me royally handsome? Is he… is he cheating on his wife for me?” My fish started shaking their heads at my comment, or facefinned themselves, except for Darrel though.

“How am I not surprised? Flare gets all the ladies, doesn't he?” Darrel asked.

“Shining Armor is a guy.” Piddles corrected him.

“Ooooh…” Darrel said awkwardly.

“Yeah.” Piddles said.

When I got to work, I saw Lyra and Bon Bon getting ready for the day. "Ten hut, soldiers!" I yelled as I stomped one of my hooves on the floor after I walked in.

"Excuse me?" Bonnie asked in a confused tone.

"You dare question your sarge? 50 push ups!" I yelled.

"What's going on, Flare?" Lyra asked.

"I got this here letting from-“ I started but once I picked it up from my vest pocket it fell on the floor. Once I picked it up with my hoof, I said again, “I got this here letter from Shining Armor saying-“ just then the letter falls off my hoof again.

“Is it a Hoops and Yoyo card? I love those cards!” Lyra asked.

“Nope, just a royal letter from Shining- you know what? I’m just gonna leave the letter on the floor.” I complained. “Anyways, Prince Shining Armor gave me this letter because tonight him and Princess Cadance are coming down here to eat at my shop.”

“That’s fantastic, Flare! Your shop is a good ol fashion royalty hang out now.” Bonnie said.

“It sure is, Bonnie! I named one of my cocktails after Luna after she came down here to my shop and said this was the best cocktail she’s ever had, which was why I called it the Luna Special.” I explained.

“So what do you need us to do, bossman?” Bonnie asked.

“Well, I’ll be closing the shop at 6 today and I’ll need EVERYPONY’S help to make sure this royal treat will be the best. I just hope my friends aren't busy.” I said.

“You should ask Twilight and her friends to help.” Lyra suggested.

“Nah, they did too much for me already, I can’t ask them for this, but I will invite them over to eat here and give me some confidence for the royal couple’s arrival.” I said. “Also they can pay extra because with the royal couple here, ponies would do anything to meet them, let alone eat with them.”

“Are you really going to do that, Flare?” Bonnie asked.

“I didn’t know there was another Flare here.” I shrugged.

“No I mean… eh forget it.” Bonnie said.

“Forget what?” I asked.

“Nevermind.” Bonnie said.

“Nevermind what?” I asked.

“Lyra, help.” Bonnie asked with an irritated tone.

“No keep going; I’m loving this!” Lyra said as she chuckled.

"Am I gonna have a part in this?" Derpy asked as she walked in.

“Oh Derpy! When did you come in? Your shift doesn’t start till noon.” I said.

“It’s a holiday.” Derpy said.

“What holiday is it?” Bonnie asked.

“Official muffin day!” Derpy said excitedly as she started throwing muffins all over the place.

“Oh that’s right I forgot!” I chuckled and facehoofed myself.

“So if it’s a holiday, we can have a day off?” Bonnie asked.

“No way, sista! I’m opened on most holidays! Holidays is when ponies take off from work.” I said.

“Exactly!” Bonnie said.

“So they’d be going out to lunch or ask for delivery for parties. Holidays are when this place is the busiest!” I said.

“So if you’re going to get a lot of money for the crowds coming to the shop today, why pay them extra for Shining Armor and Cadance’s visit?” Bonnie asked.

“The more the merrier, right?” I asked.

“He’s got a point there, Bonnie.” Lyra nodded. “That’s why I wear more than one hairnet whenever I’m working in the kitchen. Double the hairnets mean double the chance of hair NOT falling on the food. Same goes for doubling the aprons means less stains on my coat here.”

“I sometimes don’t understand you, Lyra.” Bonnie said.

“Hey, you’re the one that wanted to hang out with me.” Lyra reminded her.

“How about me?” Derpy asked.

“The only time the three of us ever hung out was that one time at the park.” Bonnie reminded her.

A cutaway shows Derpy, Lyra, and Bonnie all sitting on a park bench. Bonnie was laying on her stomach with her head up and her hooves in front of her, and she thought to herself, “Am I the only one that knows how to sit normally?”

The way Lyra was sitting is the way a human sits, on her behind, and Lyra thought to herself, “Am I the only one that knows how to sit normally?”

As for Derpy, she was hanging upside down with a muffin on her behind, and she thought to herself, “Am I the only one that knows how to sit normally? Aren’t ponies supposed to wear a muffin on their behinds?” The cutaway ends.

"Now then, I'll let you gals know what you're gonna be doing later, but for now, let's get the morning rush and afternoon rush outta the way, and then we'll worry about royalty. Kay? Kay thanks bye." I instructed the three as I started walking to my office and Bonnie and Lyra were heading to their posts, but Derpy is still standing in her 'ten-hut' position. "Uhh... Ditzy?" I asked her.

"Sir!" Derpy yelled.

"At ease, private.” I said.

"Okay Sarge!" Derpy said, going back to her 'regular' self. Hours went by and eventually it was 6:14 PM. I waited for the last customers to leave (who was Mr. Waddle).

"Thanks for coming! Tell your friends! Smiley face." I waved to the customer. I then closed the door and turned off the OPEN sign. “Phew! I thought he’d never leave. I’m glad I made sure he left this time because last time he was here, he was locked in for the night.”

“But couldn’t he just unlock the door and leave?” Bonnie asked.

“Yeah you’d LOVE that, wouldn’t you, Bonnie?” I asked with an attitude.

“I only meant that… ugh, nevermind!” Bonnie groaned.

“Alright, TEN HUT SOLDIERS!” I yelled.

“SIR!” Derpy yelled.

“Nah.” Lyra said, just sitting down on one of the booths with her hind-legs on the table.

“Now then, the royal couple is coming to my shop in 106 minutes-“ I started.

“Which is 1 hour and 46 minutes!” Derpy interrupted.

“Exactly!” I said.

“Wow, how did you know that?” Bonnie asked.

“I’m clumsy, I’m not stupid.” Derpy said as she slipped on something on the floor and fell down. “Ow! Who left this letter here?”

“Bonnie, Lyra, Derpy, you want to know why Shining Armor and Princess Cadance want to come to my shop?” I asked.

“Sure, why not?” Lyra shrugged.

“Well I wanna know too. Now let’s get to work in shaping this place up for them!” I yelled.

“YES SIR!” Derpy yelled as she ran to the bathroom.

“Ok so Derpy’s handling the bathroom. Bonnie, you’re on cleanup in the dining room.” I said as I gave her Swiffer.

“What’s this?” Bonnie asked.

“It’s a Swiffer. It works better than a mop; it cleans up more dust and there’s no hastle, unlike a regular mop.” I said. Just then, one of my old mops was staring in through the window while the “Baby Come Back” song was playing in the background. 



I went up to the window and said, “Sorry it has to be this way, but we can still be friends.” I said; then I closed the blinds. “As for you, Lyra, I want you to count everything in the kitchen and make sure we have enough food for the royal couple.” 

“Again? I just checked this afternoon and the freezer and storage areas are full!” Lyra complained.

“You can never be too careful, sista. Now get counting.” I demanded.

“This would be so much easier if I had fingers.” Lyra complained.

“Yeah, well, you don’t.” I said as Lyra mumbled to herself and walked into the freezer to count the food. I heard the bell over by the front door ding, and I saw Crystal, Engie, Psyche, Blaze, and Aqua walk in.

“I keep telling you, Engie, light gathering power of a telescope is determined by the size of your primary mirror or objective lens. It's difficult to change that without a new telescope or a significant redesign of the existing one.” Psyche explained to him.

“And ah keep tellin’ you, Psyche, that ah can just whack the telescope with mah wrench and it’ll become more powerful in the matter of seconds, just so as long as there’s an ammo refurbish locker nearby.” Engie explained.

“Oh thank Wizard of Hope you made it!” I said in relief.

“Of course we came, Flare. We’re always there to help in a friend’s time in need.” Aqua said.

“Now I know you ripped that off from the internet.” I said.

“Hey Flare, congratulations on being the top picked restaurant for Shining Armor and Princess Cadance to visit in. You must be very proud of yourself.” Blaze said.

“Thanks, brah! I am proud of myself, as well as my employees for their hard work. This wouldn’ve been possible if this place wasn’t the most successful pizza parlor in all of Equestria. I mean look at this place!” I explained.

“I know. This place really is a milestone for your life, isn’t it?” Blaze asked.

“Blaze, I’d be NOTHING without my pizza shop! Flare’s Pizza Parlor is my life. It’s always been a dream of mine to open one up. All thanks to Grandma Carbine Gun’s special recipes for all kinds of different treats; it has inspired me to make up a recipe of my own, and what better recipe to make than one of my favorite foods: pizza?” I explained.

“I understand how you feel, Flare.” Crystal said. “I once really wanted to make my own hayburger restaurant.” 

“What stopped ya?” Aqua asked.

“I’ve always made them wrong. I’ve been creating oat burgers instead of hayburgers, so I gave up.” Crystal said.

“What’s the difference?” Aqua asked.

“Aqua, everypony knows that oat burgers are far healthier than hayburgers.” Crystal corrected him.

“Isn’t that a good thing then?” Aqua asked.

“If they’re healthier, that means they won’t taste as good. Everypony knows the healthier foods are the less delicious types of foods.” Crystal said.

“Crystal’s right, that’s why I eat Mounds every day for a snack. Ah could care less about my cholesterol level. If ah die, ah could just respawn, obviously.” Engie said.

“Alright we’re getting off topic here.” I said. “My point is: if my shop were to go out of my business by unforeseen consequences, which is the name of a Half-Life chapter, my life would be ruined.” 

“I thought friendship was your life?” Psyche asked.

“Dude, how can I have friendship if I don’t have money to keep them happy?” I asked.

“He’s got you there, Psyche.” Crystal said.

“Anyways, I’m glad you’re all here to help me. This place needs to get in tip-top shape for the royal couple, so everypony get in positions. It’s nelly time!” I said mischievously.

“If it’s goin’ to be nelly time, then ah’ll need mah nelly helmet.” Engie said as he took off his hard-hat, and placed another one on his head that looked exactly like his other one.

“That helmet looks just like the one ya just took off.” Aqua pointed out.

“No it isn’t. This helmet is just a centimeter taller. Make every last distance of measurement count, partner” Engie said as he poked Aqua’s chestplate.

“Alright, Engie, you make sure you get that equipment up on stage up and running. What’s a royal couple dinner without royal couple music?” I asked.

“Which is death metal, right?” Crystal asked.

“No, that’s for a health inspector, Crystal.” I corrected her.

“Yeah, royal couples prefer fancy classical music.” Blaze said.

“That’s only if they’re from Canterlot, Blaze.” Crystal corrected him.

“They ARE from Canterlot.” Blaze corrected her.

“Oh.” Crystal said.

“Crystal, Blaze, I need you two to scrape the gum from under the tables.” I instructed them as I gave them a little chisel.

“How much gum is under these tables, man?” Blaze asked.

“Hmm… good point. You’ll need something bigger.” I said as I gave them big spade.

“And how long has the gum been under these tables?” Blaze asked.

“Good point.” I said as I gave them a jackhammer. “Now get to work you two.”

“Got anything for me, mate?” Aqua asked.

“Aqua, you’re great with water right?” I asked.

“Yes.” Aqua nodded.

“Good. You could help Lyra out in counting the stuff in the storage room.” I instructed him.

“What does that have to do with water?” Aqua asked.

“Counting can be very thirsty work, brah.” I said. “Now all that leaves is you, Psyche. You're good with numbers right?"

"It's what made me an astronomer in the first place." Psyche said pleasingly.

"Can you wash the windows please?” I asked.

“Actually, Flare, I’m better at counting than Aqua is, and he’s better at cleaning stuff. Why don’t we switch places?” Psyche suggested.

“LAWL lawl lawl lawl lawl!” I laughed. “Very funny, Psyche. What are you going to suggest next? Reenact history events? Dip fries in KETCHUP? HA! You crack me up, brah! Now c’mon, get to work!”

“What are you going to do?” Psyche asked.

“I’m going to decorate this place up a bit, just as soon as I check on Golden Harvest and Berry Punch with the welcoming banner.” I said. Once I got outside, I was meeting with Golden Harvest and Berry Punch outside who were making the banner for me. I looked at the banner and it reads, “Welcome Shining Armor and Princess Cadan”.

“What happened to the rest of Cadance’s name?” I asked.

“We couldn’t fit it all in.” Golden Harvest said.

“We can’t have a banner that says ‘welcome Shining Armor and Princess Cadan’! Twilight?!” I yelled.

“Yes, Flare?” Twilight asked as she excitedly ran over to me. “Is my brother and Cadance here yet?”

“Not yet, but I thought you told me these two were the best banner makers in Ponyville?” I asked.

“No… I said I wouldn’t pick these two because they’re NOT the best banner makers in Ponyville. No offense, you two.” Twilight said to them.

“None taken.” A mule said.

“Not you!” Twilight complained. After nearly 100 minutes went by, everypony was finished in getting the shop ready, and I gotta say, the shop looks beautiful!

“What do you think, Flare?” Blaze asked.

“It’s beautiful!” I said.

“I’m glad you like it!” Blaze said.

“I’m really proud of my cousin for that new baby she got.” I said as I was looking at my phone. “She looks so beautiful!” Blaze sighed. The front door to my shop opens and Spike came inside.

“Server Spike, reporting for duty!” Spike said as he saluted to me.

“Oopsy!” Derpy yelled from the bathroom.

“Hurry it up in cleaning my bathroom, Derpy! The royal couple will be here any minute!” I yelled.

“I’m trying, but the toilet plungers are gone and the toilets are overflowing!” Derpy yelled. 

“UGH! GROANS!” I yelled. “I really hope the royal couple doesn’t have to use the bathroom any time they’re here. So you know what to do, Spike?”

“Absolutely! I serve the royal couple to their table and give them the menus. No biggie.” Spike said.

“You’ll do fine, brah!” I said.

“Hey Flare, I was always wondering about that apron you’re wearing.” Spike pointed to it.

“Yeah, Shoop Da Cook. What about it?” I asked.

“I don’t really get it.” Spike said.

“Well, you know how I yell ‘Shoop da whoop’ when I use my laser spell?” I asked.

“Yeah.” Spike nodded.

“Well, this apron is like that combined with ‘kiss the cook’.” I said.

“Ew! I’m not kissing no cook.” Spike complained.

“Oh that’s too bad. Rarity’s actually gonna be cooking tonight.” I said.

“SHE IS?! I guess I’m kissing a cook after all.” Spike said in a gentleman-line accent.

“Nah, I’m kidding, she’s not.” I teased.

“Oh you troll.” Spike said irritatingly.

“Now all we’re missing is the crusaders.” I said.

“What do you need the crusaders for?” Blaze asked.

“They offered to be our source of entertainment tonight.” I said.

“Cutie Mark Crusader Royal Couple Entertainers! YAY!” the crusaders yelled as they ran inside.

“Alright, you three came right on the dot!” I said. “Now, Scoots, can you lift your hoof for a second?” Scootaloo looks down and sees a big dot on the floor and she lifts her hoof, and then I removed the dot from the floor.

“We’re so glad you let us be the royal couple’s entertainment tonight, Flare!” Scootaloo said excitedly.

“Yeah, it would be amazing if we got our cutie marks in entertaining the royal couple.” Apple Bloom said.

“I wouldn’t miss you getting your tattoos for the world, even though you’re a little too young for getting them.” I said.

“I can’t wait! I’ve been taking piano classes for a couple of weeks now and I think my time has come to shine!” Sweetie Belle said.

“Are you sure, Sweetie Belle? It would be amazing if you were the singer.”  Blaze said.

“Ugh!” Sweetie Belle groaned. “Why must everypony ask me to sing? I keep telling you, I get stage freights when it comes to singing in front of a crowd.”

“There’s most likely only going to be two ponies here watching.” Blaze said.

“Well… but still… I feel more comfortable on the piano.” Sweetie Belle said. “Scootaloo is doing the singing.” Scoots then gives us a big smile with a squee. Blaze and I look at eachother awkwardly.

“How about you, Apple Bloom?” Blaze asked.

“Well… ah’ve never played the saxophone before, but ah think ah’d be really good at it, counting ah’m pretty darn good at blowing bubbles. All ah gotta do is blow on the saxophone and we have music!” Apple Bloom said.

“Oh, my sister has really cool outfits to wear for this event she gave me. Lemme get my trunk.” Sweetie Belle said as she runs out of my shop to get it.

“Awesome! So Spike, is everything going as planned with Twilight and the gals?” I asked.

“Yup! They’re waiting outside to welcome the royal couple.”  Spike nodded.

“Then we’re all set! I could check my Facebook statuses real quick.” I said as I took out my phone.

“That won’t be necessary, Flare. Look.” Aqua pointed as the royal carriage landed outside in front of the Mane Six and a large crowd outside.

“Whoa-we! That is some crowd!” I said in a surprised tone. Just then, I heard the Samsung S3 whistle ringtone coming from the shop. 



“Sheesh! What is that sound? I hear that sound all the time and I don’t know what it is.” I complained. Outside, once the carriage opened, Shining Armor and Cadance climbed out and waved to everypony. As they were waving, a bright spotlight shines above the couple. 

“Whoa! What was that about? Where did the spotlight come from?” I asked.

“I asked Rainbow to make the sky overcast just so one heavenly spotlight would shine above the royal couple, and I have to say, it looks beautiful!” Blaze explained.

“They’re not dead. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were insulted by that right now!” I yelled at him. Outside, Cadance was fixing up Shining Armor’s mane a bit, which got on his nerves.

“Honey, I’m fine.” Shining complained.

“Hold still. Let me finish.” Cadance instructed him.

“You checked my hair eight times in the carriage already.” Shining complained.

“Shining! Cadance!” Twilight yelled excitedly as she gave them a hug.

“Twilie!” Shining cried out in excitement.

Cadance and Twilight started doing their little hoof-shake of some sort, they said, “Sunshine, shineshine, ladybugs awake, clap your hooves and-“

“DO THE HARLEM SHAKE!” Crystal yelled as she appeared outside with a pair of sunglasses on and she started dancing to the Harlem Shake.

“Crystal! Get back inside!” Blaze whispered from the doorway. Crystal smiled at the royal couple and ran back into the shop.

“Well… anyways, how was the honeymoon?” Fluttershy asked.

“Oh I have to know every single detail of the fancy hotel room you stayed in!” Rarity said excitedly.

“Well, gosh… where do we begin?” Shining asked.

“Huh.” Blaze said as he looked outside from the front door.

“What’s going on, Blaze?” I asked.

“The royal couple seems to be having a conversation with the girls.” Blaze said.

“So?” I asked.

“So they’re not coming inside.” Blaze said.

“Yeah, I have that problem with my dad all the time when we’re out shopping. He really likes to start big conversations with ponies and advertise his business.” I said.

“Here, ah can try to get them inside.” Engie said as he opened the door went outside.

“Was there a vase in the room?” Rarity asked.

“Yeah, there were eight of them.” Shining said.

“Wow! That’s a lot of vases!” Rarity said impressively.

“It’s a royal suite, Rarity. What can you expect?” Shining asked as he chuckled.

“By royal suite do you mean like… there’s a telephone in the bathroom?” Pinkie asked.

“Of course, Pinkie. That’s obvious, isn’t it?” Shining asked. Pinkie Pie then faints.

“Prince Shining Armor and Princess Cadance, please let me take your jackets.” Engie offered.

“We-we’re not wearing jackets, Engineer.” Cadance corrected him.

“No threat. Please come in! We have everythin’ ready for y’all.” Engie said.

“Wow, don’t mind if we do. We can talk later, Rarity.” Shining said.

“Oh but of course. Enjoy your meal.” Rarity insisted.

“This one’s in the bag, partner!” Engie said as he held the door opened for the royal couple, but before the couple can come in, the mayor, some photographers, and some journalists get in the way.

“Prince Shining Armor and Princess Cadance. Welcome to Ponyville! We are so glad to have you here.” The mayor said.

“Thank you, mayor! I must say, this is a delightful little town you have here. I have no idea why I haven’t bothered coming here before.” Cadance said.

“Uh, mayor, now’s not the best time for this.” Engie mumbled to her.

“Oh don’t mind me, dear. It’ll only take a second.” The mayor said.

“Will you take this moment in answering a few questions?” The mayor asked.

“I’m ok if she’s ok with it.” Shining said, pointing to his wife with his head.

“Of course. Anything for the citizens of Ponyville.” Cadance said.

“Twilight, how long is this going to take?” Blaze whispered to her.

“This is the mayor talking; it’s going to take at least 15 minutes.” Twilight whispered back.

“We have to do something. Flare’s going to get ferrous if they don’t come inside soon.” Blaze whispered.

“Leave it to me.” Twilight whispered. “Uh, mayor. Is it ok if we save these questions for later? The royal couple can’t really think of the best answers on empty stomachs.”

“Oh, sure Twilight. I’ll be back in an hour. You two enjoy your stay!” the mayor said to the couple.

“Thank you, miss mayor. Very much appreciated.” Cadance said. The royal couple walked inside while being escorted by their guards, and the couple looked around the shop.

“Wow! This place looks beautiful!” Cadance said impressively.

“Yeah, almost as beautiful as that sun shining through the clouds and over us. That felt very romantic.” Shining said.

“Thank you, thank you.” Rainbow bowed to them.

“Great work, Dashie!” Blaze said.

“Yeah it’s fancy alright. Maybe you two can come down to the farm too. Granny Smith makes the best pies for dessert!” AppleJack suggested to the couple.

“That sounds lovely, AppleJack. Thank you!” Cadance said.

“Good evening! Welcome to Flare’s Pizza Parlor! Please allow me to show you to your table.” Spike said.

“Aww you look so cute in that little apron, Spike.” Cadance said.

“Oh I know, is he?” Rarity agreed.

Spike blushed. “Please follow me.” So the royal couple followed Spike to their booth and the two sat down. “Your server will be here momentarily.” Spike said as he placed the menus on the table.

“Thank you!” Shining said as he picked up the menu to take a look at it. “What are you planning on having, dear?”

“I don’t know yet, I just picked up the menu.” Cadance corrected him.

“Oh, right.” Shining chuckled and blushed in embarrassment.

“Where’s Flare?” Blaze asked himself. He flew over to the kitchen and saw me using a fire extinguisher to take out a fire on one of the stoves. “Whoa! Flare what happened?”

“I’m playing fetch with a dog. What do you think I’m doing?” I asked sarcastically.

“There was a fire in here.” Aqua said.

“How did that happen?” Blaze asked.

“I have no idea! I just turned on the stove to make some pastas and the whole thing just lit on fire!” I explained.

“Wow, first your toilets, now your stove. You’re not having a very lucky day, are you, Flare?” Lyra asked.

“No need to rub it in, sista. Looks like we’re not cooking any pastas or soups today. The only available foods now are pizzas, salads, or anything I can bake.” I said.

“Well you better think of something man.” Blaze said.

“Don’t worry, brah. I’ve faced much worse. Bonnie, go ahead and give the royal couple their drinks. I’ll make sure the brick oven is still working.” I instructed her.

“I’m on it.” Bonnie said as she walked out to the dining room to ask the couple their drink order.

“Sigh.” I said upsettingly.

“Everything alright?” Aqua asked.

“I dunno, Aqua. Everything was working earlier today, but now I’ll have to call a plumber for the lavatories, and I’ll need a stove. This is gonna cost me a fortune.” I complained.

“Hey we’re here to help in ya time of need. Doncha worry ‘bout a thing.” Aqua comforted me.

“I just hope the royal couple doesn't crave pastas or soups today.” I said.

“You know something, Flare? Every time I see someone online say Postal 2, I think of them saying Portal 2.” Lyra said looking at her phone.

“Lyra, put that away. We have a LARGE amount of work to do.” I reminded her. I walked outside my kitchen to see the royal couple in person.

“Your highnesses.” I bowed. “Did I say that right?”

“Hi, Flare! Good to see you again!” Cadance said.

“Good to be seen.” I teased.

“Pssst!” Twilight whispered to me and shook her head.

“No, it’s quite alright, Twilight.” Cadance said to her. “I must say, you have a very beautiful little shop here!”

“I’ll say!” Shining agreed.

“I agree, thank you! Except this is a big shop, not a little shop.” I corrected them.

“Oh… my mistake.” Cadance corrected herself.

“What made you two want to come my restaurant out of all others?” I asked.

“Well, after you gave me your business card at the wedding, I looked up your restaurant online and it has great ratings! Not to mention Luna keeps saying how great this place is. You two seem to have a rapport.” Cadance said.

“It was because of Luna that I’m here today.” I said. “Mind if I change the subject for a sec? When do you two think of having kids?” Shining and Cadance just shockingly looked at eachother.

“Um, not a very polite question to ask, Flare.” Twilight whispered to me. “But trust me, Shining here can’t take a simple hint.

A cutaway shows Shining have a conversation with Twilight. “Twilie, I just don’t understand. Cadance has been giving me these weird signs.” Shining said. Shining gets visions of Cadance using her magic to create a picture of toys and blocks and teddy bears, and then Cadance uses her magic to create a picture of a crib, and then right after, Cadance holds up a sign that says ‘kids’. “I dunno why, but I think she wants to be a kid again.” He said.

“No, Shining! It means she WANTS kids.” Twilight said as she smiled at her brother.

Shining smiled along and said, “Wants them to do what?” Twilight facehoofs herself. The cutaway ends.

“So, you two know my friends right?” I asked the couple. “You saw Crystal outside already.”

“Yes, I remember! You’re Engineer, you’re Aqua, you’re Psyche, and… I don’t believe I met the Wonderbolt yet.” Cadance said.

“Oh right! The wedding took place before I met Blaze! This is my friend Blaze Goldheart!” I introduced him.

“Nice to meet you, Cadance!” Blaze said.

“You’re the first Wonderbolt I’ve ever met, Blaze Goldheart.” Cadance said.

“Nice!” Blaze said happily; he then turned to Shining Armor and glared at him. “Shining.”

“Blaze.” Shining said as he glared back at him.

“What was that about?” I asked.

“Us Wonderbolts… have a history with the E-U-P.” Blaze said.

“You Wonderbolts have it soooooo easy. You know how us royal guards have to do to protect Equestria from disaster?” Shining asked rudely to Blaze. “We have much better things to do than wear tights and fly around.

“Why don’t you go cavity search some fillies, you nerd?” Blaze asked rudely.

“Good to see you, Blaze.” Shining said.

“Likewise.” Blaze said.

“I’m REALLY confused right now.” I said.

“Yeah… so am I.” Cadance said.

“I like Shining Armor, we’re cool, but when it comes to different military factions, we despise each other.” Blaze said.

“Um, Flare?” Flutters asked.

“Yeah, Flutters?” I asked.

“Wow, you’re the first pony in a while that actually responded to me when I tried to get somepony’s attention within a group of ponies. I’m touched.” Flutters said as she blushed.

“That’s nice." I said in an uncaring tone. "What is it, Flutters?”

“I think you have a guest coming in through the front door.” Flutters pointed to a blue pegasus pony who walked into my shop. He was wearing a brown coat and big glasses, he had a black smooth mane and he had a really cool mustache, and he had a magnifying glass as a cutie mark.



“Cool mustache!” Pinkie said to the pony.

“Thank you. I do get that affection a lot.” The pony said with a British accent.

“Can I help you with something, brah?” I asked.

“I find your slang to be disturbing.” The pony said.

“Well excuse me!” I yelled.

“Calm down, Flare.” Aqua said.

“Sorry… welcome to Flare’s Pizza Parlor! How may I serve you?” I asked.

“I don’t like your attitude, bud! That’s a negative for your chart.” The pony said as he wrote on a clipboard.

“What’s going on here?” Aqua asked.

“My name is Health Inspector Jones and it is time for my yearly check on the resteraunt.” The pony said as he showed us his badge.

“Health inspector? Oh snap!” I yelled as I ran back to the kitchen.

“Sooooo, health inspector, huh?” Aqua asked.

“Uhh, employees? Minor emergency here.” I said to Lyra and Bonnie.

“What’s wrong, bossman?” Bonnie asked.

“Ok, first of all, I still less than three being called that. Keep it up, Bonnie!” I said pleasingly.

“Thank you!” Bonnie said happily.

“Second, I… forgot to mention… today was also the day a health inspector comes to the shop to inspect the place.” I said.

“That’s not so bad. We just give him some food and we’ll do fine. We serve great food, right?” Lyra asked.

“Lyra, the stove is broken, and the bathroom is all clogged up! Not to mention, we’re in the middle of a fancy dinner with the royal couple!” I reminded them.

“No prob! We’ll get them fixed.” Lyra said.

“I like your enthusiasm, Lyra, but we can’t do this on our own. We need help.” I said.

Meanwhile, in the dining room, the CMCs were entertaining the royal couple and the health inspector from the stage; although, it wasn’t really that entertaining. “So the three of us will fight the fight!” Scootaloo sang. “There is nothing that we fear We'll have to figure out what we'll do next-“

“Music: terrible!” Health Inspector Jones complained.

“What?!” Sweetie Belle teared up in shock.

“HEY! You know how much guts it takes to sing in front of a whole crowd?” Scootaloo yelled at the health inspector.

“Crowd? There’s barely anypony here! You’re lucky to be singing right now instead of a whole crowd.” Health Inspector Jones said rudely to them. The CMCs all gasped in shock.

“Excuse me, sir. One of those fillies that are singing ‘badly’ is mah little sister!” AppleJack said to the health inspector angrily.

“And mine too. How dare you put down poor little Sweetie Belle!?” Rarity yelled at him.

“Why we outta-“ AppleJack yelled, about to buck the health inspector in the face.

“Go ahead, buck me. I’ll close this place on the spot!” the health inspector threatened them.

“Girls…” Twilight said to AppleJack and Rarity, trying to calm them down.

“Engie, I need you to fix my stove and bathroom, and fast!” I instructed Engie.

“Got it!” Engie whispered as he went on it. I didn’t mean he went ON anything, I was just saying he was starting to do it, in case I confused you there.

“Health Inspector Jones, I am so sorry about this. I didn’t think you’d come in such a short time.” I said.

“Well… it was a bad start so far… but it can be redeemed.” The health inspector said.

“Is there ANYTHING I can get you, sir?” I asked, even though I don’t feel comfortable with saying the word ‘sir’. I don’t like talking to ponies like they’re superior to me.

“I’m going to need one of everything on the menu. Cook your best, Mr. Gun.” The health inspector instructed me.

“Of course! Coming right up!” I said as I faked a smile at him. I walked up to the royal couple and said upsettingly, “I really did not expect this to happen. Please forgive the delay with your food.”

“It’s ok, Flare. Just take deep breathes, and calm your mind. You’ll be able to get through this. I know you will.” Cadance instructed me.

“Thanks, Cadance. I really needed that. Twilight, can you and your friends please help me out? I’m between a mountain and a steel place right now.” I said.

“Doncha mean a rock and a hard place?” AppleJack asked.

“Of course not, silly!” Pinkie said. “If Flare was saying he’s between a mountain and a steel place, you can understand that a mountain is a bigger rock and a steel place is the most hardest places of all the hard places!”

“Actually, the obsidian place is the hardest place.” I corrected her.

Pinkie giggled. “Obsidian. That should be a flavor cake!”

“Don’t worry, Flare. We’ll do all we can to help.” Twilight said.

“I really did not want to ask for your help; you did too much for me already, but I’m desperate.” I said sadly.

“Just tell us what you need us to do, Flare, and we’ll do it!” Rainbow flew up and said, but she shouldn've flown up so fast because she hit one of my four ceiling fans. "Ow!" she yelled.

“Twilight, I need your help with fixing the broken stove and the clogged toilets. Engie may be able to fix them, but we’ll need to double our pace in order to get through this. Do you have a spell that can make food get cooked faster without burning it?” I asked.

“Flare, you of all ponies should know that ya can’t rush perfection.” AppleJack said.

“I know, AJ, but… the royal couple is here AND a health inspector! I’m in a lost for ideas.” I said.

“Leave the ideas to me, Flare. I’ve been in much worse situations before.” Twilight said.

A cutaway shows Twilight in her library, grunting, sweating, and panting. “What’s wrong, Twilight?” Spike asked.

“I can’t choose, Spike! I just can’t choose!” Twilight panicked.

“What can’t you choose?” Spike asked.

“I can’t choose which book to read next! Should I read The Greatest of all Days, or should I read the Days That Are The Greatest?! I JUST CAN’T DECIDE!” Twilight yelled.

Spike just stood there with a blank expression on his face. “Seriously?” he asked.” The cutaway ends.

As I check on the health inspector, I saw him looking at the lampshade that hangs over the table he’s sitting at. He just stares at it while scratching the pencil on his mustache and then he taps the lamp with his pencil and the lamp falls right on the table and breaks. The health inspector shakes his head and writes on his clipboard. “GASP!” I whispered.

“It’s ok, Flare. We WILL get through this! Ah promise.” AppleJack said.

“If AppleJack says it, then I know it to be true.” I nodded. “With the wizards on my side, as well as my friends, I can even overpower all the princesses together.” I said.

“Wow; not even I would go that far.” Rainbow said. I rushed back into the kitchen and saw that Engie was nearly finished with the stove.

“Ah’m nearly finished with the stove.” Engie said.

“Yeah, I just said that during my narration, brah.” I corrected him. “Bonnie, get all the pizza stuff ready; Lyra, fill those pots with water. We have to give the health inspector what he wants. For Wizard of Hope’s sake, I will NOT lose this pizza parlor!”

“This must be our greatest challenge yet, huh Bonnie?” Lyra asked.

“Ready when you are.” Bonnie said. 

Several minutes went by, and Engie finished fixing the stove so we started cooking. The stove didn’t work as good as it was earlier today, but it was enough to get the job done. "Hey did they ask for tomatoes on their pizza?" Lyra asked as she was about to put the fixings on one of the pizzas.

"It's the ultimate pizza, Lyra. Of course tomatoes would be on it." Bonnie said.

"What about onions?" Lyra asked.

"Yes, onions too." Bonnie said.

"What about olives?" Lyra asked

Bonnie sighed and said, "Yes, Lyra, olives too."

"How about....?" Lyra started but Bonnie interrupts.

"Lyra, they want everything on it!" she informed her. "They want everything that can go on a pizza! It’s the ultimate pizza. Hello?"

"Does that include green peppers?" Lyra asked.

While the pasta was taking a little longer than usual to get finished, Psyche came in with some news. “Flare, the health inspector is getting antsy. He keeps booing at the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and he keeps complaining about his boredom.” he explained.

“What kind of health inspector is this pony?! He’s a very strict one, that’s for sure! This dude is really starting to stress me out. We’re working as quickly as we can here.” I explained.

“I wish we could do something about him, but he keeps threatening to shut you down on the spot if we do anything to overanger him.” Psyche said.

“Sigh. Sad face.” I said. “Can’t the royal couple do something about this?”

“They tried, but it was out of the question. Princess Cadance and Shining Armor may be royalty, but they don’t rule any kingdom at this time; therefore, they have no control over his actions.” Psyche said.

“I can’t catch a break can I? Nothing goes my way anymore!” I yelled.

“You ALWAYS get your way.” Psyche reminded me.

“And let’s keep it that way. We have to distract the health inspector long enough. We’re trying to get the food done as fast as we can.” I said.

“And I know just what to do.” Crystal said.

“Crystal, don’t make me regret this.” I instructed her.

“Flare, relax. I just said I know exactly what to do.” Crystal said.

“No, you said you know JUST what to do, not EXACTLY.” I corrected her.

Crystal walked out my kitchen and walked towards the CMCs and Rarity, who were comforting Sweetie Belle because she was crying over the insults the health inspector gave her. Crystal patted her on the head and winked at her. Crystal walked up on stage and tapped on the microphone. “Hello? Hello? Is this thing on?”

“Idiotic questions…” the health inspector said as he wrote on his notepad.

“Uhh…” Crystal said nervously as she began to sweat. “Anyways, I have a special number for you tonight.”

“OOO OOO! Thirty-seven! Did I get the number?” Pinkie asked excitedly as she started jumping around the restaurant, which made the health inspector spill is drink. “Oospy! Sorry!” Pinkie said embarrassingly to Jones, giving him a big squee. Jones just growled at her and he wrote on his notepad again.

“Uhh… and a 1, and a 2, and a 1-2-3!” Crystal yelled as the instrumental of the song Shipoopi from the classical movie The Music Man started playing in the background. Crystal started moving her body back and forth as she started to sing: “Well, a stallion who’ll kiss on the very first date is usually a pervert, and the stallion who’ll kiss on the second time out, is usually converted. But for a stallion who’ll wait till the third time around – head on the clouds, hooves on the ground – he’s the colt you’ve gladly found, he’s your babooty.” Crystal starts dancing up on stage while everypony in the restaurant watched her. “Babooty, babooty, babooty…”

“The colt impossible to find.” Psyche, Blaze, Aqua, Engie, and Spike all sang.

“Babooty, babooty, babooty…” Crystal sang.

“One that won’t abuse your hind.” The Cutie Mark Crusaders sang.

Crystal started walking around the shop, either walking passed or around the stallions in the shop. “Walk him once just to raise the curtain, then you walk around twice, you don’t know for certain.” Crystal then looks at Blaze and moves around back and forth in front of him. “Once more in neighbor’s garden, you’d know what you get if you don’t get maulin’.” 

Crystal hops back up stage and moves her arms up and down as the Noble 4, CMCs, Spike, Lyra, and Bonnie all sang: “Do re me fa so la si do, si la sol fa mi re do.”

Crystal dances and jumps around on stage as she sang the next verse; “Squeeze him once when he is embarrassed, if you get squeezed back that’s when it’s fairest. Once more for a charmly groom, he’ll never get sore when he’s in the bathroom.”

Crystal once again moves her arms up and down as the others sang again: “Do re me fa so la si do, si do.”

Crystal kicks her legs out as she walks through the shop in front of everypony as she sings this next verse; “Now big ol stud’s my close bud as everyone can see, empty jugs for drummin’ that were used for grape jelly.” Engie picks up Crystal with his hooves as he walks on his hind legs to walk across the shop as Crystal continued singing; “Squeeze him once when he is embarrassed, if you get squeezed back that’s when it’s fairest. Once more for a charmly groom, he’ll never get sore when he’s in the bathroom.”

In order, Blaze, Aqua, Psyche, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Lyra, and Bonnie were holding up signs of the words they sing in the next verse: “Do re me fa sol la si do, si do.” That last si-do, Lyra moved her sign in front of Bonnie’s and moved it away as they sang ‘do’.

“Babooty, babooty, babooty.” Crystal sang as she danced while moving her front hooves back and forth and her hind hooves were hoping one by one, along with Engie who did the same thing.

“The colt impossible to find.” Psyche, Blaze, Aqua, and Spike all sang.

“Babooty, babooty, babooty…” Crystal sang.

“One that won’t abuse your hind.” The Cutie Mark Crusaders sang as they climbed each other to form the shape of a triangle. Right after, Crystal was marching with a baton on her hooves while the royal couple’s guards were playing their trumpets around her. After that, while the instrumental continues, Crystal starts dancing around, kicking her hooves, and waving around like a propeller in front of the Noble Four, CMCs, Spike, Bonnie, and Lyra.

“Alright, I’m lost. What is this about?” Shining asked.

“This song certainly speaks the truth.” Cadance said. 

“I LOVE IT!” Pinkie cried. Crystal starts kicking her hooves around along with Lyra and Bonnie doing the same thing beside her. Engie, Psyche, Aqua, the CMCs, and Spike all start twirling the table napkins around by their ends (uhh, the napkin’s ends), and they continued doing so as Crystal was spinning around at the center of their circle they formed. Right after, everypony in the song held each other’s hooves and pulled them close to each other as they were dancing on their hind hooves. Lyra and Bonnie were dancing close to each other hoof to hoof, followed by Aqua and Psyche doing the same thing to eachother, followed by Blaze and Engie, Spike and Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, and Crystal and Pinkie Pie.

“Oh, when did you join the number, Pinkie?” Crystal asked.

“Just now, right before you asked.” Pinkie said.

Right after everypony was done dancing, they all were dancing in a row and sang at the same time; “Babooty, babooty, babooty, the colt that’s impossible to find. Babooty, babooty, babooty, one that won’t abuse your hind.” Everypony all stood on their hind hooves, kicking them side to side while pounding their front hooves towards the ground while singing the last verse: “Ooooone thaaaat won’t abuse your hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind… BABOOTY!” they all cried while they all held a sign above them that says ‘Babooty’ on it.

“BABOOTY!” Pinkie yelled as she jumped from the center of the crowd with confetti around her.

“Wow! That was… impressive!” Cadance said.

“Yeah, I… really don’t know what to say.” Shining said.

“Neither do us.” AppleJack said.

“Well I do.” Health Inspector Jones said with a grumpy tone. “It was the single most entertaining thing I saw all night.”

“Oh good! I’m glad. It was the first song I ever led.” Crystal said.

“However, regardless of my amusement, it does not affect the health inspection in any way.” Jones said.

“What?! WHY NOT?!” Crystal yelled.

“For starters… don’t spit on my face.” Jones said as he wiped his face with a napkin on the table. “Second, this is a HEALTH inspection, not an ENTERTAINMENT inspection. If this were an ENTERTAINMENT inspection, then I’d give it an A, but this is a HEALTH inspection, and so far it’s pretty poor.”

“DON’T WORRY!” I yelled as I came out of the kitchen, levitating a ton of trays of food with my magic and bringing the royal couple their’s first, and then the health inspector’s second.

“Finally.” Jones complained as he starts eating the food I gave him.

“B-T-W, you violated the Friendship Agreement.” I said to my friends.

“What did we do this time?” Psyche asked with an irriated tone.

“You had a musical number without me. You violated section 6, paragraph 4.” I said.

“Well excuse us for trying to save your restaurant!” Lyra complained.

“I said you violated the Friendship Agreement, I didn’t say you affected your employee records. No, you get a gold star for doing so.” I said.

“Do I get a gold star?” Crystal asked excitedly.

“You don’t work here.” I reminded her.

“May I have an application?” Crystal asked. I take an application out and give it to Crystal to fill out. “Sweet!” Crystal said excitedly as she sat down to fill the application.

“Soooooo where’s our food?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“OH DANG! I forgot you girls were here! You’ve been so quiet and I’ve been working so hard for the royal couple and the health inspector, I forgot to make your food!” I yelled.

“It’s alright, Flare. I don’t mind not having any food.” Flutters said.

“I DO!” Rainbow complained.

“Normally ah’m a patient gal, but when it comes to food, don’t keep me waitin’.” AppleJack said.

“I have candy bars in my pocket if anypony is interested!” Pinkie said.

“Candy before dinner? That’s absurd!” Rarity complained. “Give me one, I’m starving.” 

“Wait, wait, wait… Pinkie has pockets?” Rainbow asked.

“I’ll make your food right away, girls!” I said in worry.

“No, Flare, please… you did well. You should take a break.” Flutters suggested. Pinkie, Rainbow, Rarity, and AppleJack started to whine and complain to Fluttershy over their lack of food. “Now, girls, Flare worked really hard.”

“I’ll say! Flare Gun, I must say this food you made is delicious!” Cadance said.

“I agree! This is the best pizza I’ve ever tasted. Its no wonder small corner pizza restaurants are much better than the larger food chains like Pizza Hut or Papa Johns.” Shining said. “Same goes with oriental.”

“This pizza is so delicious, it is to die for!” Cadance said. Right after Cadance says that, Health Inspector Jones starts choking on his food. “Uhh, I didn’t mean that literary.” Cadance said to the health inspector.

“What the Wizard of Feelings?” I said in confusing. AppleJack runs up to the health inspector, grabs him by the back and starts squeezing his stomach until Jones was finally able to spit out the food.

“Whoa nelly!” AppleJack said. “Are you ok, health inspector?”

“NO! THIS FOOD NEARLY KILLED ME!” Jones yelled.

“Ew! Is that a cockroach in that eggplant?” Rarity asked as she looked at the food.

“WHAT?! Impossible! All foods get a pest inspection before giving it to the customer!” I yelled.

“As it turns out, it must be the first.” Aqua said.

“You know, Aqua, that really doesn’t help me.” I complained to him.

“Sorry.” Aqua said.

“You know, Aqua, you have an Australian accent, but you act Canadian.” I pointed out. Health Inspector Jones hops out of his seat and right after he stands on the floor, and the floor collapsed right below him, leaving his torso to hang above the hole (I didn’t mean his torso falls off if that’s what you’re thinking).

Health Inspector Jone’s face turns red and steam pops out from his ears. “Ooooo! That’s the face I make when somepony breaks a Pinkie promise!” Pinkie said.

“CRIMSON FLARE GUN!” Jones yelled. “May I say this was the absolute worse dining experience I’ve ever been in! Not only is this place in bad shape, the food was terrible, and I nearly died from it!”

“You know, health inspectors don’t normally eat the food, they search it.” Psyche corrected him.

“Don’t you tell me how to do my job! This is the last straw! After this experience I’ve been through, you leave me no choice but to force you to shut down this trash heep!” Jones said.

“WHAT?!” I yelled.

“Sir, please, honestly, this wasn’t supposed to happen. Flare takes excellent care of this place.” Bonnie said.

“And us, don’t forget us.” Lyra added.

“And me.” Derpy added as she walked out of the flooded bathroom.

“Well, it sucks to be you right now. From this day forward: Flare’s Pizza Parlor will be considered out of business – FOREVER!” Jones said angrily. Right after, he calmly walked towards the door and said, “Good day.” Right before he exits the shop, he slips and falls on the floor. “AAAH!” he yelled. “WHO LEFT THIS ENVOLEOPE HERE?! If it was my choice, I’d bloody sue ya! Best pizza in Equestria MY FLANK!” he angrily walks out of the shop. I just stood there in the middle of my shop, heart-broken, cold, and lost of hope, but before I could say anything, I smelled smoke from the kitchen.

“Flare, who’s watchin’ the kitchen?” Aqua asked.

“Nothing ever goes my way anymore!” I yelled.

“I’ll handle this.” Rainbow said as she takes a fire extinguisher and flies into my kitchen to take out the fire. I started to tear up and collapse on the floor. Shining Armor and Cadance walked over to me with a whole sack of change. Cadance places her hoof on my shoulder and Shining drops the change beside me.

“Flare, no matter what that nasty health inspector says, this food was among the best I’ve ever tasted.” She said.

“I make my food with love. I just… I just can’t believe the health inspector would hate it. I mean, the only ponies who don’t like my food… have never tasted it.” I said.

“Trust me, if it was up to us, we would make sure you wouldn’t go out of business.” Shining said.

“We are so sorry… for everything.” Cadance said as she pushed the big bag of bits closer towards me.

“No, I can’t accept your money.” I declined.

“Take it… your need of it is far greater than our’s.” Cadance offered.

“Yeah, I mean… we’re rich.” Shining said. Cadance glares at Shining. “Oh, sorry.” He said.

“Take good care, Flare Gun. I’ll talk to my aunts about this… they’ll help you out, I promise.” Cadance said.

“How is insects supposed to help, Flare?” Pinkie asked.

“Thank you for the dinner. We’ll be seeing you.” Cadance said as her, Shining Armor and their guards exit my shop and back to their carriage, while at the same time, getting asked a ridiculous amount of questions by the crowd outside, including the mayor.

“Crying face.” I said as I teared up. “It’s over. My career is over. The only job I officially enjoyed… gone. Poof.”

“Poof.” Pinkie said.

“Flare, I… I would never thought this would happen.” Rarity said.

“Me neither. Ah mean, your business really helped mine when ya kept buyin’ mah apples for your pizzas.” AppleJack said. Rarity glares at her. “Oh… was that wrong of me?”

“You want me to take you home, Flare?” Fluttershy asked.

“No… I want… I want to be alone with my… former shop… right now.” I said. Everypony starts to leave my shop.

“Darn it! Unemployeed before I was able to get a gold star!” Crystal complained. After everypony walks out, Spike was the only one in the building with me, and he tries to comfort me.

“What are you going to do now?” Spike asked.

“I-D-K, man. I mean, I’m glad Princess Cadance and Shining Armor gave me this money to hold me out, but… I don’t think I can survive without my shop. Pizza is my life! I’m the… I’m the pizza pony! Keith called me that once and I… I was very pleased to hear that.” I said.

“C’mon… let’s go back to your place and watch My Name is Earl. That’ll help you feel better.” Spike offered.

“Sure, brah, but… I want to… say goodbye to my shop.” I said.

“You want to say goodbye to a building that has no emotion what-so-ever? Huh, suit yourself.” Spike shrugged as he walks out. I take a look at my shop and it’s a complete mess. I was really confused because I made sure everything was in order over the many months I had this restaurant. I might’ve not done most of the cleaning, but I always made sure everything was in tip-top shape. Sometimes I even got Rarity to inspect the place weekly. In fact, she even inspected the place today. I just don’t understand how this could happen. What have I done to deserve this? I’ve been a great friend… well… great enough. When Spike was talking about My Name is Earl before, it got me thinking of Karma, and is karma punishing me for this? I don’t remember doing anything wrong, except for the time I was a pushing a Kmart shopping cart across town with Spike in it and broke the orange stall at the market, but I didn’t think karma would hit me this bad. 

Regardless, I’m done here. My greatest achievement… gone. I packed all the money I could find, some of the leftover foods from the freezer, and the decorations I installed; oh and I took one table and two chairs. I need patio furniture. After I was done with that, I disabled all the security from the shop and returned home… or so I thought I disabled all security. The security cameras were still active.

A few days later; Psyche was taking a stroll through town when he sees Twilight entering my abandoned shop. Psyche follows her inside to check on what’s going on. “Hey, Twilight.”

“Hey, Psyche.” Twilight said. “What are you doing here?”

“I was about to ask you the same question.” Psyche said.

“After the big innocent of a few nights ago, it got me thinking. What if it wasn’t Flare’s fault that everything was falling apart?” Twilight asked.

“I was thinking the same thing. Flare’s not the brightest of all ponies but he knows how to keep things running around here.” Psyche said.

“Right, so I decided to do a little bit of investigating.” Twilight said.

“Well, first off, the bathroom. Derpy says that toilet paper was just stuffed into the toilets, and all the plungers were missing.” Psyche said.

“Exactly! What we don’t know is that who did it?” Twilight asked.

“Looks like we might have a saboteur on our hooves.” Psyche said.

“Now let’s not skip to any conclusions, Psyche. We don’t know for sure. We need to do a little bit of investigating first.” Twilight said. “Will you please help me out, Psyche?”

“Well, I was actually on my way to Flare’s because he hasn’t been out of his trailer in days, but I think it’ll be in huge help if I help you out.” Psyche said. Twilight nodded and they both got to work. Meanwhile, over at my trailer, Engie, Blaze, Aqua, and Crystal were nearing my trailer, unaware that Spike and Fluttershy were outside of it.

“C’mon, Flare! Please come out! You’ve been in there for days and I’m starting to worry!” Fluttershy begged.

“Me too. I really hope you’re not beating my high score on Tetris.” Spike hoped.

“What’s goin’ on ‘ere?” Aqua asked.

“I was here to invite Flare over to play a prank on Cranky Doodle Donkey, but Flare won’t leave his trailer.” Spike said.

“And I’m getting really worried.” Fluttershy said.

“Wish I had a bit every time I heard that.” Spike said.

“Flare must be depressed because he lost his store.” Blaze said.

“UHH, YOU THINK?!” Engie yelled at him.

“Sorry.” Blaze said.

“We have to get inside. We need to talk to him.” Flutters said.

“Wait, Spike, don’t you have security clearance to Flare’s trailer?” Engie asked.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna use it.” Spike said.

“But dude, he needs us!” Blaze said.

“He said he wants to be left alone. Twilight taught me to know better than just to barge in other pony’s homes without permission.” Spike said.

“If Twilight tells you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?” Crystal asked.

“Probably, if it has something to do with an important spell.” Spike said.

“Spike, I really can’t take it! Please let us inside!” Fluttershy begged with tears in her eyes.

“Why are you so worried about him, Fluttershy?” Spike asked.

“JUST DO IT!” she cried.

“Ok, ok, jeez!” Spike said as he placed his claw in the hoof-print, punched in the code, scanned his eye and says the password: “Why is it called chips ahoy when they are cookies and not chips?”

“I dunno.” Crystal said.

“Password accepted.” The security system said as the door unlocked.

“Oh, what’s the password; ‘I dunno’?” Crystal asked.

“Sure, let’s go with that.” Spike said as he opens the door and walks inside. Everypony else follows. It was dark in my trailer and all the lights were off (you don’t say!), my friends were looking around in my trailer for me but they couldn’t find a soul in there, except for my fish of course.

“Wow, it’s been a while since I seen that yellow pegasus here.” Pearl said.

“Flare keeps saying positive things about her. I wouldn’t be surprised if they became a couple by the end of the month.” Rainbow said.

“Are you sure? Because I believe he would have a finer relationship with the pink one.” Dorthey said.

“Really? How about the purple one? They both know great magics.” Yoyo said.

“What? The purple Pegasus?” Darrel asked.

“No the purple unicorn.” Yoyo said.

“Oh because that purple pegasus, she looks pretty.” Darrel said.

“Oh yeah, she does.” Dorthey nodde… nevermind, fish don’t nod.

“I think that mare is a guy.” Piddles said.

“Really? I don’t see it.” Darrel said.

“A lot of Flare’s stallion friends do look a lot like mares, don’t they?” Rainbow asked.

“Flare, where are you?” Blaze called out.

“FLARE?!” Fluttershy called out.

“Ow! Want to speak any louder, Fluttershy?” Aqua complained.

“Found him! Found him! Found him!” Crystal said excitedly as she pointed to me sitting down on my bean bag chair in the lounge.

“FLARE!” Fluttershy yelled as she flew towards me to give me a hug. “Flare you had me worried- uh, Flare? What is that I feel on your face?”

“Whiskers.” I said in a very depressing tone. 

“Are ya growin’ a beard?” Engie asked.

“No… there’s a cat on my face.” I said as the cat on my face screeched and ran away.

"AAAAH! CAT! Don't eat us!" Dorthey panicked from the distance.

"Relax, this tank will protect us." Rainbow corrected her.

“Flare, please get up.” Blaze asked.

“Why? What’s the use of it?” I asked.

“Because you still have a life and friends.” Blaze said.

“Sigh… but I feel so empty without my restaurant.” I said.

“Why? You survived without your restaurant before. You spent most of your life without it.” Spike said.

“But the health inspector took my vending license. I can’t cook for anypony anymore.” I said.

“That’s not true. Ya’re a wonderful cook, Flare, and don’t ya forget it.” Aqua said.

“Everything just isn’t the same without ya.” Engie said.

“Everything isn’t the same without my shop either.” I said.

“Flare, we need you!” Blaze said.

“I can’t cook you anything, sorry.” I said.

“No, we need you to get out of your house! This isn’t healthy for you!” Blaze said.

“Neither was eating pizza, but ate them daily and I’m still alive.” I said.

“Ugh! Somepony help.” Blaze asked.

“Dang it, Flare! Snap out of it!” Engie yelled as he was about to slap me.

“Without violence, Engie!” Blaze added as he grabbed Engie’s hoof and stopped it from slapping me.

“If only we had Psyche here.” Crystal said as she shook her head.

Meanwhile, at my abandoned shop, the two purple ponies were still looking at evidence on how my shop has been sabotaged. Twilight was in the kitchen, observing the cracked stove, while Psyche was observing the lamp that fell from the ceiling on the health inspector’s table. “Hmm…” Twilight mumbled to herself. “That shouldn’t be here. Psyche, I found something!”

“I did too!” Psyche yelled as he walked over to the kitchen. “What did you find, Twilight?”

“Was there always a brick here?” Twilight asked.

“Well, actually, I thought it was some sort of random interior decoration Flare installed in here. You know how Flare is.” Psyche said.

“Well I wouldn’t think he’d be as random as to leave a brick in the middle of the floor.” Twilight said.

“What do you mean? How do you think it got there?” Psyche asked. Twilight points up to the ceiling and finds an untied rope. “Of course! Somepony tied a brick up on that rope and somepony was hiding in the ceiling to untie it so it can fall on the stove.”

“Causing it to break.” Twilight added.

“And you interrupted me.” Psyche added.

Twilight chuckles. “Sorry. I can’t help that sometimes.”

“No worries.” Psyche said.

“Now what did you find?” Twilight asked.

“Oh the broken lamp? Well, I observed the debris of the broken glass and there seemed to be some screws missing.” Psyche said.

“So… you’re saying somepony removed most of the screws that kept the lamp in place which caused the lamp to fall and shatter?” Twilight asked.

“I was actually going to say something dirty, but let’s go with your idea.” Psyche teased.

“C’mon, Psyche, let’s be serious. We’re trying to save Flare’s shop.” Twilight reminded him.

“Right, right, sorry.” Psyche chuckled.

“So I see what the problem is here. Only one screw was here on the light, so somepony removed the other three, but that wouldn’ve been enough would it?” Twilight asked.

“No… I believe the last screw had to be loose in order for the lamp to fall randomly like that.” Psyche said.

“Ok so we solved the stove problem, the toilet problem, and the lamp problem so far. How about that hole?” Twilight asked as she pointed to the hole the health inspector fell in.

“Doesn’t look very deep. How about going down to take a look?” Psyche asked.

“Alright. After you.” Twilight said.

“Uhh, no. You first.” Psyche insisted.

“No, I insist that you go first.” Twilight said.

“Ladies first, right?” Psyche asked.

“Actually, it changed. It’s now stallions first to check if everything is ok.” Twilight said. 

A cutaway shows Caramel and Sassaflash about to walk inside Sugarcube Corner. Caramel opens the door for his marefriend and says, “After you, Sassy!”

“Oh thank you!” Sassaflash said as she walked inside, but once she gets inside she gets covered in frosting. She glares at Caramel and says, “I find the term ‘ladies first’ to be an insult now.”

“WOOPIE! Look at you Sassy! You look like Flufflepuff!” Pinkie said as she started grabbing frosting off Sassa and Pinkie started to lick her own hoof.

“Ew! Caramel help!” Sassaflash begged.

“Ok.” Caramel said as he too takes frosting off of Sassaflash and started sucking the frosting off his hoof. “Mmm! Strawberries!” Sassaflash sighs. The cutaway ends.

“I see your point. Alright, I’ll go first.” Psyche said as he climbs inside the hole on the ground to check what’s down there. “Wow, it sure is dark in here.”

“See anything?” Twilight asked.

“No, it’s dark in here.” Psyche repeated himself.

“Need any light?” Twilight asked.

“No, I need a grilled cheese sandwich.” Psyche said sarcastically. Twilight rolls her eyes and climbs down into the hole after Psyche, she lights up her horn and she crouches down so there would be enough room for her to crawl on her chest. “Yeah, it’s pretty tight down here, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, and dusty.” Twilight added. “Wait… I think I can see the problem here.”

“What?” Psyche asked.

“See? Look on that side. There’s six beams holding the building in place, but look on this side. There’s only five.” Twilight pointed out.

“What happened to the sixth one, or the second one, or the first one, or the fourth one, whatever?” Psyche asked.

“I think… I think we’re laying on it.” Twilight said.

“What are you saying?” Psyche asked.

“We’re laying on where the missing beam is, which is why the floor got a little unstable and collapsed under the health inspector.” Twilight said.

“Well… I guess we have the mystery almost solved.” Psyche said.

“Yeah, but what still puzzles me is, who left the letter the floor?” Twilight asked.

“Flare through it down there because he was too lazy to throw it away.” Psyche said.

“Psyche you can’t throw away a royal letter.” Twilight corrected him.

Back at my trailer, everypony was still trying to get me off my flank so I can go outside. “DARN IT, FLARE! Get up! Stop laying around already, man!” Blaze yelled.

“What’s the point? I can’t cook anymore.” I said upsettingly.

“Of course you can cook, man!” Blaze said.

“You just, you know, can’t sell it.” Crystal added.

“Crystal!” Blaze yelled at her.

“WHAT?!” Crystal yelled.

“No, its fine Blaze. It’s true. Since we have mostly mares in this town, half of the food I’ve been selling to them they don’t eat; they just post photos of the food on Instagram, saying how much this food is ‘so yesterday’.” I said in a teenage filly accent.

“Well, how about we all go out on the town and do the same thing to other pony’s foods?” Engie suggested.

“How is that supposed to help me? Doing something I don’t like?” I asked.

“Uhh…. Revenge?” Engie asked.

“How the Wizard of Hope is that revenge? It’s other pony’s foods I’d be making fun of, not the fillies themselves.” I corrected him.

“How about teasing their clothing? That really ticks teenage fillies off.” Spike suggested.

“I’d rather stay here in sorrow if you don’t mind.” I said.

“And what are you going to do the whole time you’re here?” Blaze asked.

“Go through my list of things I’d never be able to get over from the 90s.” I started. “Number 1: When my gel pens ran out of ink.”
“Number 2: When Mufasa dies in Lion King.” 
“Number 3: When the NSYNC stopped making music.”
“Number 4: The entire second VHS tape of Titanic.”
“Number 5: When somepony else takes the AOL instant message screen name I wanted.”
“Number 6: Regretting that I ever asked for a Furby. It’s like a Goosebumps novel when the toy wakes you up in the middle of the night for attention and just wouldn’t shut up!”
“Number 7: Missing Will Smith all the time.”
“Number 8: How the movie Avatar ripped off Fern Gully.”
“Number 9: The fact that my Beanie Baby collection was totally useless.”
“Number 10: The fact that I couldn’t find the actual recipe for Ed’s Good Burger sauce.”
“Number 11: When my Cassette Tape ran out while recording the radio.”
“Number 12: The dream of being slimmed on Slime Time Live never came true.”
“Number 13: When your friend slammed your favorite Pog.”
“Number 14: When you tried to call your crush and her dad answered the phone.”
“Number 15: Permanent ear damage from calling friends while they were using the Interwebs.”
“Number 16: The fact that my sister’s belly button ring was inspired by her troll collection.”
“Number 17: When Tai went on an ego trip and was suddenly too good for Cher.”
“Number 18: When Patty tricked Doug Funnie into eating liver and onions.”
“Number 19: Not being able to aggressively hang up on anyone anymore because of the little plastic thing that holds the phones in place.”
“Number 20: The fact that Pikachu can’t be my lifelong companion.”
“Number 21: The fact that on Rugrats, Chuckie’s mom is dead.”
“And finally, number 22: When George Feeney left Boy Meets World.”

“Wow, ya… ya sure made a big list there.” Aqua said.

“Only a 90s foal would understand.” I said.

“You were born in the 80s though, I thought?” Spike asked.

“That doesn’t mean I wasn’t a 90s pony.” I said.

“We’re gettin’ a bit off topic here.” Aqua said.

“Flare please come out of here! You’re really making me sad because you’re sad.” Fluttershy said.

“Well, sorry that my sad face is making you sad face, but I cannot help being sad face all the time now. Sad face.” I said.

“Please come out, Flare.” Flutters begged.

“Yeah, Flare! Snap out of it!” Spike said as he climbed in front of me, blocking my view of the TV.

“Spike, move! I’m trying to fight this dragon! Nothing personal, brah.” I complained.

"Get up on your feet, and dance to the beat, because it's time to get your shop nice and neat!" Crystal said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Well, I think it’ll be nice if we asked the health inspector to give ya one more chance.” Aqua said.

I paused my game. "Look, it isn’t easy. I haven't worked in days, and because the health inspector is saying my shop was so bad, I don’t think he’ll give me another chance! Not to mention, this whole situation made me lose confidence in myself, so because of my lack of confidence, I give up, capieche? So please, leave me to this game!” I demanded. Everypony sighed.

Meanwhile, back at my shop. Psyche was looking through my security monitors in my office. “Hmm… interesting.” He said.

“What’s up?” Twilight asked.

“It’s interesting that Flare has an action figure of Spock's body with Mr. T's head on it in his desk drawer.” Psyche said as he chuckled and takes out the action figure from my drawer. "I pity the fool who's illogical!" Psyche said in Mr. T's voice. Twilight just gives Psyche a 'really' look. Psyche takes the hint and tells her seriously, “Also, I found something in the security footage. Luckily, Flare has security cameras all around his shop. I think this will help us find out who sabotaged Flare’s shop.”

“Play it.” Twilight instructed him.

“Ok here’s the security footage of the back door. This was before preparations of decorating Flare’s shop, before Blaze, Crystal, Aqua, Engie, and I came. Look… two hooded ponies are breaking in the back door. It looks like one of them is a pegasus.” Psyche pointed out.

“Two hooded ponies, huh? Who are they though?” Twilight asked.

“I don’t know.” Psyche said. As the two hooded ponies were causing the disasters without anypony looking, one of the hooded ponies had a sparkle inside his or her hood as that pony was hanging the brick on top of the stove in the kitchen.

“Unicorn magic! One of the ponies is a unicorn!” Twilight pointed out.

“I see. Oh wait, look!” Psyche pointed out Lyra coming into the kitchen and spotting the hooded unicorn.

“Oh, sorry sir, we’re closed for now. We’re getting prepared for the royal couple’s arrival. You’ll have to come back tomorrow.” Lyra said.

“How… unfortunate.” The unicorn said as he snorted like a pig and was prepared to walk out, but as he was walking out the front door, another footage showed him using his magic to remove the screws from the light post that fell on the table later that same night, and he also used his magic to take out the support beam underneath the floor, and then he walked out. Eventually, the other pony walked as well.

“Well… I guess that explains that there were two of them that sabotaged the restaurant, but we still don’t know who they are.” Psyche said.

“Wait a minute…” Twilight said as he zoomed the security footage on one of their cutie marks. “That’s a magnifying glass cutie mark!”

“Yeah, so?” Psyche asked.

“Didn’t Health Inspector Jones have a cutie mark JUST LIKE THAT?!” Twilight asked.

“How should I know? I don’t look at other stallion’s flanks.” Psyche said.

“So this could mean that Health Inspector Jones was responsible for this!” Twilight explained.

“What should we do then?” Psyche asked.

“This looks like the job for a princess.” Twilight said mischievously. “Psyche, you go find Health Inspector Jones and question him. I’m going to call a princess.”

“I don’t think looking for the health inspector would be necessary, Twilight.” Psyche said.

“Why’s that?” Twilight asked. Psyche pointed outside and saw Health Inspector Jones picking on his really cool mustache, and there was a wrecking ball next to him. “OH MY GOSH!” Twilight yelled.

Back at my trailer, my friends were still trying to get me to snap out of my depression. “Flare, if you don’t leave this trailer right now, I’m going to give you… the stare!” Flutters threatened me.

“The what now?” I asked as I put a blind fold over my eyes.

“Well there goes two of my best means of order: the stare and cute puppy dog eyes.” Flutters said. “What are we going to do, Blaze? I can’t stand seeing him like this! I’m so worried!”

“I am too, Flutters, but don’t worry, we’ll get him outta here in no time. I got a plan.” Blaze whispered. “So we’re going to go find a dog and-“

“I have an anti-dog security system. Don’t even think about it, Blaze.” I said.

“How did you hear me?” Blaze asked.

“Don’t mess with my Vulcan hearing, brah.” I said and then chuckled that sounded like three dog pants. Just then, Engie’s cell phone starts to ring.

“Howdy?” Engie said as he answered his phone. “Hey, Psyche! Yeah. Yeah, ah’m with Flare. Yeah, his cell phone is turned off. Yep, he hasn’t been paying his phone bills. It was nice of ya to call me before anypony else! Uh huh. Wait… what? No way! He can’t do that!”

“What’s happenin’?” Aqua asked.

“Ah’ll tell ‘em right away! Much obliged! Bye!” Engie said as he hung up. “Hey, Flare, ah’m not sure if ya care, but Psyche says they’re plannin’ on demolishin’ your shop.”

“Wait… WHAT?!” I yelled.

“HA! Ah knew ya cared!” Engie yelled.

“I don’t care, I’m just surprised.” I said while I’m still wearing that blind fold.

“Ok Flare I had it! Get off of your lazy flank and get to your shop before they take it down, RIGHT NOW!” Blaze ordered me.

“You can’t tell me what to do!” I yelled.

“Ooooooooh SO HELP ME, FLARE!” Blaze yelled.

“What do you need help with?” I asked with a calm tone.

“UUUUGGGGHHHH!” Blaze groaned.

“Flare, ya can’t let Jones do this!” Aqua begged.

"I know, but the health inspector said it was a grease trap." I said.

"No he didn't." Aqua corrected me.

"Well it sounded like he said it with that attitude." I said.

“Alright, that’s it. Let’s go.” Engie said as he grabbed me and attempted to carry me out, but I was hanging onto my controller and wouldn't let go.

"NOOOO!" I whined. "NOOOOOOOOO!"

"We're going to yer shop, and that is that!" Engie yelled as he continued to pull me away from my controller but I wouldn't let go.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I whined.

"You're unbelievable!" Engie said angrily. “Crystal, are ya gonna help?”

“No way! I’m having too much fun!” Crystal chuckled as she continued watching.

Spike started to chuckle mischievously and said, "I know of a way that'll get him to move." Just then, Spike started to tickle me.

"LAWL LAWL LAWL! Stop tickling me dum dum! Please stop tickling me, please!" I cried out in laughter. Spike continued to tickle me until I finally let go of my controller and Engie started to carry me out of my trailer. "Holy Wizard of Feelings, I hate you guys! No not really, but PUT ME DOWN!" I demanded.

Everypony walked over to my shop and saw Psyche trying to reason with the demolition ponies. “I assure you that you’re going to be sorry, Health Inspector Jones! This restaurant is the best of the best! Admit that you and somepony else sabotaged this place!” 

“I will admit no such thing!” Jones said. “Well, this place WAS the best of the best, but now it’s just a waste of space.”

"Excuse me, but if you didn't know, this shop put smiles on many pony's faces, and I will not stand around while you take away a treasuring piece of Ponyville!” Psyche yelled.

"Move out of the way or I’ll call the cops!” Jones threatened him.

“GOOD! I’ll tell them how much of a crook you are!” Psyche yelled at him.

“Look, somepony has to make up their mind. I have to get to my daughter’s ballet recital.” The demolition pony inside the wrecking ball truck said.

"AH’LL PAY YA DOUBLE IF YA STOP THE PROCESS!” Engie yelled as he ran in front of my shop, standing on his hind hooves and leaning on my front door with his back, but after he says his line, the doors open and he falls down. “Ow!”

“Yeah, the doors were never locked.” Psyche said.

"Are you sure? I'm getting a thousand bits to destroy this building." The demolition pony said.

"AH'LL PAY YA THREE THOUSAND!" Engie yelled.
.
"Three thousand? That's almost your entire savings, Engie. You don’t have to do that for me.” I said while facing Aqua.

“I’m Aqua.” Aqua corrected me. I then removed my blind fold that I never took off before. “AAAH! BRIGHT LIGHT!”

"It's a sacrifice ah’m willin’ to make." Engie said. "If we just had a chance to put this place back in shape, we'll show you that this place SHOULD NOT, I say SHOULD NOT get knocked down!"

"HA! You sound, I say you sound like Foghorn Leghorn, Engie!" Crystal chuckled.

“Engie, you don’t need to do this, and MY GOODNESS!  It is so bright outside!” I complained.

“Well, that’s what you get for staying inside for the past week. Trust me; I had to learn that the hard way.” Spike said.

"Ah must.” Engie said as he placed his hoof over his head dramatically. “For there are many ponies that'll become very upset if this was bound to happen.”

And so, my heart grew three sizes that day, and from that day forward, I started having heart failure, but we’ll get to that story later. I ran over to Engie and gave him a hug. "You're the best! I less than three you, Engie!"

"Likewise, partner. Likewise.” Engie said as he hugged me back, but he looked over at my friends and moved his mouth like he was saying ‘No homo’.

“Why no homo? There is one of you, isn’t there? Homo means one.” Crystal corrected him.

"What are you doing? I asked for this place to be wrecked down a half-hour ago!" Jones yelled.

"ANGRY FACE!" I yelled at the health inspector.

"Don't go 'angry face' with me, this place is a disgrace to pony kind and must be knocked down, ASAP!" Jones yelled.

"LISTEN YOU!" Blaze yelled to the Health Inspector's face. "This place is a fine dining restaurant, with a beautiful atmosphere, and delicious food! YOU ON THE OTHER HOOF ARE A DISGRACE TO HEALTH INSPECTORS EVERYWHERE!"

"I respect your opinion, sir, but the law is the law." Jones said. "I can't change my mind. What's done is done. You cannot undo what's already been done. You can't...."

"Alright we get it already.” Spike complained.

"Tear it down; I'll pay you five times the price." Jones said the demolition pony.

"WHAT?!" we all yelled.

"Sorry partner. Ah don't have enough to double that." Engie said.

"It's alright, brah. You tried your best. What's done is done he said. We can't undo it." I said.

The demolition pony started the wrecking ball, and started swinging it, but while the wrecking ball was swinging, Crystal was riding on it and she started singing, “I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL!”

“GET OFF OF THERE!” the demolition pony ordered her.

“I’ve always wanted to do that!” Crystal said excitedly.

"WAIT!" I yelled.

“What?” the health inspector asked.

"May I have a chance to.... say goodbye." I asked.

"For what? It's just a building! It doesn't have feelings!" Jones corrected me.

"Jones, let him say good-bye." The demolition pony suggested to him.

"Fine, make it quick. I have preparations to make Boorlie’s Bistro the best pizza shop in Equestria.” Jones said.

I started tearing up and I hugged my shop. "Crying face. This is it, huh?" I started sadly. "After three months of hard work and ratings that went to the roof, not literary, but you know what I mean, the time has come for you to fall. I knew you weren't gonna last forever, but I didn't know it would be this soon. Sniff, and to think, I was gonna expand you into Canterlot, but that's not gonna happen now. Now the fresh new shop which made ponies very happy face..... suddenly will go back to when before I moved into this old town."

"Hey this town isn't that old you know.” Spike corrected me. Everypony shushed him.

"And so this is the last day of Flare's Pizza Parlor standing. Nothing will ever replace you." I said. Blaze, Crystal, Engie, Psyche, Aqua, Spike, and the Demolition pony all had tears in their eyes, and then Crystal started crying real loud and her tears came out of her eyes like a waterfall.

"Good-bye." I said as I backed away from my shop and close to my friends. “Do it.” I said to the demolition pony.

"Finally! That was the worse speech I ever heard!" Jones complained.

"Your face is the worse speech I ever heard!" Crystal yelled at him an angry tone.

"That made zero sense." Jones said.

"You make zero sense an hour. OOOOOOH! Owned, fool!” Crystal yelled at him.

“Thank you, Crystal. I needed that.” I said sadly.

"Get this building down so I can go home and watch my soap." Jones instructed the demolition pony.

"I'm sorry." the Demolition pony said sadly to me. He then started the wrecking ball engines.

I hugged my friends tightly. "I can't watch!” I said as I looked away.

"Me neither." Flutters said.

"Well, I can watch." Jones commented. My friends and I all started holding each other real tight. The health inspector had an evil grin on his face, and the Demolition pony sadly swung the wrecking ball, but before the wrecking ball can hit the shop, it was stopped by alicorn magic.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" Princess Luna yelled, alongside Cadance and Twilight.

"Princess Luna?!" Jones said in shock.

"Luna? What are you doing here?" I asked. "Not that I mind, but this is a sad occasion here."

"You shouldn't be sad anymore, Flare Gun." Luna said. "After all the nice stuff you did for me, even when I lost hope on having ponies like me, I owe you one."

"No, I owe YOU one. You have me welcomed in Ponyville, so.... yeah.... you don't me nothin'." I said in a mobster tone.

“THAT HEALTH INSPECTOR IS AN IMPOSTER!" Cadance yelled.

"Ridiculous!” Jones yelled. "I'm Health Inspector Jones." Jones held out a badge.

“Heh, RIDCULOUS!” Crystal yelled while waving a stick around like a wand.

"No you're not!" Luna said. "This is Health Inspector Jones." Another pony in a trench coat came out behind Princess Luna.

"That's him! That's the pony that stole my badge!" the real Jones cried. Two police ponies showed up and hoof cuffed the imposter.

"That's right, this was a set up!" the imposter said. "My real name is actually Boorlie Pomodoro."

"More like Poorlie. L-O-L!" I teased.

"Shut up!" Boorlie yelled. "You have been stealing my business for three whole months!"

"Hey, the customers wanted to come over here. I didn't steal nothin." I said. “No wait… I didn’t steal anything. Yeah, that’s better, cause if I said ‘I didn’t steal nothin’ it would mean that I did steal something.” I corrected myself.

"I work at a pizza parlor in Canterlot. It's called Boorlie's Bistro." Boorlie explained. "I sold pizzas over there for years, but then you showed up in Ponyville. Princesses Celestia and Luna say you have the best pizza in Equestria! Everypony started going to Ponyville to have your pizzas instead of mine. Your business was so good, I started losing business, so I had to think of something. I decided to disguise myself as Health Inspector Jones so I can shut you down. I'm the one who broke your oven, and messed with the toilets in your bathrooms. I also faked that choking when I ate your food. To tell the truth, it was delicious, but I didn't want that to blind my mission!"

"I apologize, brah." I said. "I didn't mean to steal your business. I just wanted to make ponies happy and sell them something really good, but I wasn't trying to steal anypony's business. I know not to sell sweet stuff, that's Sugarcube Corner's job, and for the apple stuff, that's Sweet Apple Acres! I never even heard of your pizza business. If I would've known, I would've just sold pastas."

"Yeah, well..... I'm sure it wasn't all your fault." Boorlie said. "I’m sorry.”

"I accept your apology, my friend. Smiley face." I said with a smile.

"So you gonna let me go?" Boorlie asked.

"It's not up to me. Like you said, the law is the law, you can't change that." I said with a smile.

"YOU DUMB COLT! STEAL MY BUSINESS AND USE MY OWN LINES AGAINST ME! YOU'RE A FOOL, CRIMSON!" Boorlie yelled as he was taken by the police to the police carriage. "WHEN I GET OUT, YOUR BUSINESS IS HISTORY! YOU HEAR ME?! HISTORY!"

"Yes, brah! You're right! My business is history!" I teased as everypony laughed, except for Crystal. 

“I… I don’t get it.” Crystal said.

“So what am I supposed to do?” the demolition pony asked.

“Don’t ya have to go to yaur daughter’s ballet recital?” Aqua asked.

“I do, but I want somepony to come with me.” The demolition pony requested.

A cutaway shows Aqua going with the demolition pony to the ballet recital to see his daughter dance. The demolition pony’s daughter walks out, and she looks just like her dad, an orange earth pony with a brown mane and whiskers on her face, but she had a dress on. “Hi daddy!” the daughter said to her dad.

“Hey, sweetheart!” the demolition pony said. You know, both of them share the same voice.

“Are we gonna be here long?” Aqua whispered to the demolition pony.

“I also want to see Bulk Bicep’s sister. It won’t take long.” The demolition pony whispered back to Aqua.

“YEEEAAAAAH!” Bulk Biceps sister yelled, who looks exactly like Bulk Biceps but with a dress and more of a girly mane. The cutaway ends.

The next day came, Flare's Pizza Parlor was reopened, and it had a Grand Re-Opening ribbon on the sign. Everypony in town was eating over there, even Shinning Armor and Cadance gave the place another chance. I walked over to Shining and Cadnace with the ultimate pizza they’ve wanted.

"Ultimate pizza, take two, and action!" I said.

"Thank you, Flare!" Shining said. "This pizza looks delicious!"

"You know how Flare is, big bro." Twilight said with her hoof around me. "Flare's his name, and pizza's his game."

"You got that right, Twiliee." Shining said.

"Aunt Celestia was right! Best pizza in Equestria!" Cadance said.

"Flare we have number seventeen's order ready!" Lyra yelled out.

"I got it!" Derpy said as she put on her magnet gloves and carried the pizza; then when she tripped and fell, she was still holding the pizza because the tray was made of metal and she had magnet gloves on; she smiled afterwords and continued giving the customers their order. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were singing on stage again as well.

"So, Flare Gun, did you learn anything in these past few days?" Luna asked.

"Yes I did, Luna!" I said. "Not everything is what it seems. Don’t ever give up on your dreams, even if somepony tries to sabotage it or even badmouths it; also health inspectors are real jerks!”

“I’ll say!” Crystal said.

“Shouldn’t you be working?” I reminded her.

“Why? I don’t work here.” Crystal said.

“Actually, you signed an application, remember?” I asked.

“Oh… but… that was before you closed.” Crystal said.

“On the contrary, you still made an application for Flare’s Pizza Parlor.” I reminded her.

“I quit.” Crystal said.

“You can’t quit. To leave, you need a 2 week notice.” I reminded her.

“Ok, but after 2 weeks, I’m outta here!” Crystal said as she picked up a tray and started collecting plates.

“She’s gonna regret that. This is the best job ever.” Bonnie said.

“Thank you, Bonnie! Thank you! I’m glad you all like it here! Thanks Twilight and Psyche! We wouldn’ve solved this mystery without you.” I said.

“The plessure is all our’s!” Psyche said.

“We need Equestria’s finest pizza restaurant around.” Twilight said.

“I TOTALLY agree with that! My parties wouldn’t be as good without Flare’s pizzas!” Pinkie said excitedly. “But just to point out, this mystery could’ve been solved without you and Psyche. Princess Luna came with the real Health Inspector Jones!”

“But Pinkie, I was the one that called Luna.” Twilight corrected her.

“Yes, but Cadance already told my sister and I the problem, did you not?” Luna asked.

“Sorry, Twilight. I’ll have to agree with Pinkie Pie on this one.” Cadance shrugged.

“Of course she agrees with me! We’re the same color!” Pinkie said as she squeed.

"AAAAH!" Crystal screamed as she fell on the floor, dropping all the plates she collected. "IS NOPONY GONNA PICK UP THIS ENVELOPE ON THE FLOOR?!"

“But something still puzzles me." I started. "Boorlie was the first pony that sabotaged my shop, but didn't you say there was a second one? Who was he?”

Meanwhile at the Canterlot castle dungeon, Boorlie was in his cell all alone. After a few seconds, a shadow appeared right outside his cell. Boorlie was startled by the shadow. "AAH!" he cried. Then he relieved himself. "Oh, it's only you boss."

"Boorlie, it seemed that you have failed your task." The same voice as the other hooded pony from the security footage said.

"I'm sorry! It was all Princess Luna! She found out about our plan!" Boorlie said.

"I give you a simple task to shut down the pizza parlor, and now you're trapped in a dungeon?!" the voice yelled in an angry tone.

"Please let me out, boss! I promise I'll do better!" Boorlie begged.

"Umm... let me think... NO!" the voice yelled. "I was going to save your business, but your useless attempt has ended this partnership. Have fun in your new home." The boss laughed evilly and as he laughed, he snorted. We get a good glimpse on the boss’s cutie mark, which was a black circle with a red ‘S’ on it.