Luna was sitting at her desk, glancing through her mountainous paperwork. She paused her monotonous routine to gaze at the nearby clock. She sighed and complained, "Celestia needs to hurry up! We can't handle this horrid duty alone!"
Her complaints were answered as Celestia suddenly teleported into the room, holding Muffin in her left fore hoof.
Luna perked up at the sight of her. "Ah! Hello, sister! We were worried that you'd abandoned us in favor of skylarking about."
Celestia didn't reply. She walked at a snail's pace towards Luna, as if to drag on a forthcoming event. Her deranged eyes remained locked onto Luna's amiable ones. Her smile was twisted, like one you'd find on a demented creature from a horror film.
"Sister… are you all right?" Luna asked, eyebrows raised. "You seem ill. Why is your mane brown?" And why are you looking at us like that? Is this another joke?"
Celestia didn't answer, but she quickened her pace slightly. Once she was within reach of Luna, she held out the hoof containing Muffin.
"Wow! What a delicious looking muffin! Did you save that piece for me?"
Celestia nodded, her crazed eyes and insane smile remained the same. She gestured for Luna to take the muffin from her hoof. Luna smiled beautifully, appreciative of her sister's actions.
"Thank you, sister. But after we taste it, we would like for you to explain what's going on in that silly little head of yours."
Celestia nodded fervently. Her smiled widened as Luna took a small bite from the muffin.
"Wow! This is delicious! Where did you get this muffin? We must buy some of our own!"
"Can you feel what I feel? Feel the love! Feel the holiness of the muffin!" laughed a maniacal Celestia.
"We don't get it," Luna replied, deadpan. A few minutes later, Luna complained of a strange feeling in her mind.
"Sorry about that, Twilight! We weren't trying to catch you with this net, I promise," apologized Pinkie.
"It's fine, it's fine," Twilight assured her. "Just help me get outta here." Derpy, Pinkie, and Joe lifted the net from poor, innocent Twilight, victim of circumstance. "Now what exactly are you doing with a net powerful enough to suppress unicorn magic?"
"Well… it's kind of a funny story," Pinkie replied dismissively, "I don't think you have time to listen to it."
"I've got time," Twilight countered. "I demand an explanation for this crazy shenanigan."
Pinkie twiddled her hooves nervously for a few seconds. She then dragged Derpy over to stand before her. "Assistant Derpy, give her the rundown!"
Derpy saluted before saying, "Celestia bit Muffin then went crazy. We tried to shoot her down with this net but she teleported away with my little Muffin!"
"WHAT?" Twilight shouted in disbelief.
"Well… I tried to not tell you, but you insisted anyway?" Pinkie answered with a shrug and a guilty look.
"This is bad, really really bad," said Twilight. "If Celestia, Princess Celestia of Equestria, has bitten Muffin and gone crazy, there's no telling what chaos will take place!"
"Oh! Maybe she'll make it rain muffins! That way Muffin can have some more company!" Derpy said.
"She should make doughnut rain," Joe suggested.
Twilight groaned. "Guys! This is not the time to joke around. This is serious!"
"So what can we do?" asked Pinkie. "We can't exactly subdue her like we did with Joe." Joe grumbled in the background.
"I don't know," sighed Twilight, her mane frazzling. "We can't exactly blast her with the Elements of Harmony. Snatching Muffin from her would be near impossible! Celestia is one of, if not the most powerful pony in Equestria!"
"I'm sure we'll figure something out," Pinkie consoled.
Twilight chastised herself, saying, "I knew I should've gotten rid of that muffin when I had the chance. Why didn't you keep a closer watch on it, Derpy? And why did you have to reuse that ingredient, Pinkie? I warned you against it!"
Both Pinkie and Derpy couldn't meet Twilight's gaze, they were too ashamed to even lift their heads.
"We need to focus on get Muffin back," said Joe. "They know they did wrong, they learn lesson, me hope."
Twilight let out a deep sigh and rubbed her temples. "Alright, girls, cheer up. It's okay. You guys made a mistake. I make mistakes too. Let's fix this problem, then we can laugh about it later."
Pinkie and Derpy perked up, eager to fix the problem.
"So what's our plan of attack?"
Twilight paused to think for a moment. "Well, since Celestia is an outrageously powerful alicorn, not to mention a princess with an army at her disposal, it'll be pretty hard for us to snatch Muffin from her on our own. Maybe we could ask Luna for help? I'm sure she's powerful enough to help us out."
"That's a good idea!" Derpy agreed.
"Maybe Luna's already taken Muffin from Celestia! What if Celestia's already back to normal? Everything could be fine!" Pinkie cheered.
"Yay!" Joe chipped in.
"We should still inform Luna, just incase she's unaware of this. I'll write a letter asking for help, any objections?" Twilight asked. She found none. "Then it's settled. Spike!"
No response.
"Oh, I forgot, he's still sleeping. I kept him awake last night while doing research. Luckily I have a bottle of his dragon breath back at the library."
"Then let's go get it!" Pinkie said.
Twilight escorted every pony else back to the library, where she proceeded to write a hasty letter to Luna asking for her immediate assistance. She sealed the letter, then incinerated it with the dragon's breath.
"And now we wait."
About a minute later, a return letter materialized in front of the ponies.
Twilight grabbed it with her magic and read it aloud. "The muffining is nigh?" With a raised eyebrow, she turned the letter over, then back again, then over, then back again.
"Wait… that's it?" Joe asked.
"I think so," Twilight answered, putting down the letter. "I can't find anything else!"
The group took awhile to ponder the meaning behind it.
Derpy suddenly gasped, saying, "Oh no."
Pinkie caught on. With a worried look on her face she said, "You don't think…"
"That Luna bit Muffin too?" Twilight ended.
It was a dire reality, and everypony was reluctant to accept it.
"I'm not sure," doubted Twilight. "Maybe I sent it to Celestia by mistake?"
"I don't think so, Twilight. We all saw you address it directly to Princess Luna." Derpy answered.
Everypony shared worried looks with one another.
Twilight suddenly perked up. "Oh, I know! Maybe we should—"
Twilight stopped mid sentence. Her eyes took on a dull, mindless look. "Muffin."
"Hellooooo? Equestria to Twilight?" Pinkie asked, waving her hoof in front of Twilight. "This is the part where you tell us your super duper plan!"
Twilight, oblivious to Pinkie's antics, robotically marched out of the library and into the street. The others followed her, and were shocked at the sight before them.
"What in Celestia's name?" said Derpy.
"Have I been eating too much frosting again?" Pinkie asked herself.
"No, this very real." Joe answered.
Like Twilight, all of the towns ponies had blank looks on their faces, and were collectively marching in a single direction. They all chanted, "Muffin Muffin Muffin Muffin."
"Where are they all going?" Pinkie asked.
"Looks like they headed to Canterlot," answered Joe.
Joe was right, all of the ponies were indeed marching straight towards the distant city of Canterlot.
"Why are they doing this?" Derpy asked. "How come we aren't doing it too?"
"I dunno… The real question is who's making them do this."
A loud omnipresent voice answered for her. "Yes! March! March my little muffins! Come to us!"
"Come bow before your true Muffin Overlords!" Two omnipresent voices.
The mindless ponies collectively groaned in response, continuing on their way towards Canterlot.
"Did those voices belong to who I think they belong to?" Pinkie asked fearfully.
"Celestia and Luna… They've both gone crazy!" Derpy shouted with her hooves on her cheeks. "They're controlling every pony!"
"THIS ARE HORRIBLE!" Joe shrieked.
"I believe now is a good time to panic. You ponies agree?"
Derpy and Joe nodded in agreement.
"Alright. On three. One… two… three!"
"AHHHHHHHHH!" they all screamed as they ran in circles and collided with random objects, Derpy especially.
Pinkie stopped suddenly.
"Why'd you stop panicking with us, Pinkie?" Derpy panted.
"I just realized," Pinkie began, "we might be the only ponies who aren't being controlled right now. Meaning, we are the only ones who can fix this!"
"How you know nopony else being controlled?" Joe asked.
"Well, we know for a fact that Celestia and Luna have gone crazy from biting Muffin. What if they're using their super alicorn magic to amplify that, sending it out and brainwashing every pony?"
"That does make sense," Derpy agreed. "So why aren't we being brainwashed?"
"Because, silly, we can't go crazy from biting Muffin: We're both accustomed to super duper fantasterrific flavor explosions and awesomeness! We're immune! Joe must've built up immunity since he's gone crazy before already, plus he's already been exposed to the super duper flavoriffic awesomeness of Muffin."
"If that's true, Twilight shouldn't have been affected by the brainwashing," Derpy pointed out.
"Good point," Pinkie acknowledged. "But. Twilight wasn't exposed to it as long as Joe was. At least, that's what you told me previously."
"It's true," confirmed Derpy, "I snatched it from her quickly."
"So, we the only ones who can save day?" Joe asked.
"You're right as raspberry filling," Pinkie answered. "How are we gonna do it though?"
"It's just us three. We have to think of something!"
Pinkie brought a hoof to her chin. "What if… What if it's not just us three?"
"What are you getting at?" Derpy asked.
Pinkie beamed. "I know some pony who might've been resistant to the brainwashing! Somepony who I always share some of my most amazing treats with!"
"WHO?" shouted Joe in anticipation.
"Rainbow Dash!" Pinkie announced, throwing her hooves in the air. "She could fly in super fast, snatch Muffin, then zoom right back out! We could hide for a few days until ever pony returns to normal due to lack of muffin exposure!"
"That's brilliant!" Derpy said. "Now we just need to find her."
"Found her," Joe said, pointing a hoof to show where.
The other two followed Joe's hoof to spot Rainbow Dash a few feet away.
"Muffin muffin muffin," she chanted as she continuously bumped headfirst into a wall.
Pinkie sighed. "Nevermind."
"We need try something!" Joe whined as he trotted over towards Rainbow Dash. He grabbed her face between his fore hooves and gave her a shake. "Wake up! Wake up!" He gave her a mild slap. "Wake up!"
Rainbow Dash remained unresponsive. Joe sighed in defeat. He redirected her away from the wall and into the crowd of ponies. She began bumping into a mailbox.
"Well, it looks like we're on our own," Derpy said.
"You're right," Pinkie agreed, nodding her head. "Well, I guess there's only one logical course of action!" She stood on her hind legs and struck a heroic pose. "To Canterlot!"
Canterlot was a sizable distance away. Pinkie had decided to commandeer a locomotive, due to the fact that the conductors were all gone.
As Derpy and Joe stood next to Pinkie, who donned a conductor's hat and sat in the driver's seat, they began to feel a bit uneasy.
"Pinkie, are you sure you know how to operate this thing?" Derpy asked a bit apprehensively.
"Of course I do!" Pinkie assured her, waving a dismissive hoof. "I saw it in a movie once," she silently whispered to herself.
Pinkie set the train to maximum speed; the three ponies rocketed towards Canterlot. Once their stop was in view, she yanked the emergency brake, bringing the locomotive to a jarring halt.
"Here we are folks!" Pinkie chimed. Derpy and Joe were too busy vomiting out the side windows to notice. Once they'd recovered, they stepped onto the platform. They were greeted by a peculiar sight.
"Uh oh," said Joe.
Starting immediately from the bottom of the platform, and fanning out throughout the city, was a dense crowd. There was not a single unoccupied space. More ponies were continuously pouring in from the city's outskirts. They would've been heading straight to the castle, had it not reached maximum capacity already. Instead, the ponies bumped into each other in their futile attempts to reach their new rulers.
"Yes! That's it! Come my little muffins! Come worship your Muffin Overlords!" boomed Celestia's omnipresent voice.
"No pony shall resist our reign!" Luna continued.
"Look!" shouted Pinkie from her spot on the platform, pointing towards a few griffins in the crowd.
"Me see buffalo too!" Joe shouted, pointing in another direction.
"We need to hurry!" exclaimed Derpy. "This is starting to get out of hand! At this rate, all of Equestria will be brainwashed!"
"Yeah. It'll be pretty awkward if the changelings get here before we can stop this mess," Pinkie commented. "Well then, let's get going already!"
The ponies made their way down the platform and began to tediously sift their way through the crowd.
"Oops! Sorry… Excuse me. Pardon me. HEY! WATCH IT BUSTER!"
Derpy felt her anxiety rising. In an effort to calm herself down, she said to herself, "Don't worry, Muffin. I'm almost there. You're gonna be safe. Everything's going to be fine."
Joe smiled every time he brushed against a cute mare.
The crowd was so packed that it took a good ten minutes for all three ponies to finally get close to the castle. All the while, the crowd chanted, "Muffin muffin muffin." The sound reverberated off the walls of the many buildings, creating an echo which would've been ominous, had it not been about a baked good.
An additional five minutes brought the three ponies into the castle courtyard. The crowd somehow managed to get even denser.
"Ugh! Move!" Derpy shouted out.
"Guys! Come to me!" Pinkie called out.
Joe and Derpy did as asked.
"What's up, Pinkie?" Derpy asked.
"The crowd is getting unbearable. Luckily, I have a solution." Pinkie smiled as she reached into her mane and pulled out a bundle of balloons. "It wouldn't have done much earlier, but the crowd is getting so thick that this'll be faster."
"You're gonna float us there?" doubted Joe.
"Yup! Grab a hold of me, Joe! Derpy, you can fly on ahead and meet us near the castle doors."
Derpy saluted before taking off. She crashed into many, many things on her way.
Pinkie began inflating the balloons. In a minute, she'd managed to inflate, and tie, sixty of them.
"Hang on, Joe!" Pinkie yelled in excitement. She jumped, using her tail to proper herself. They barely lifted off enough to clear the crowd.
"Hmm… must be all the extra weight."
"Hey!"
Pinkie inflated additional balloons until they were higher above the crowd.
"Here we go!" Pinkie cheered as she used her tail to propel herself forward.
"This much better!" said Joe.
They made it to the open castle doors in three minutes. Derpy was there off to the side waiting and waving to them, a crack in the wall near here.
"Whew, we finally made it!" Pinkie said as she and Joe landed, almost crushing a few nearby ponies.
"It's even more packed in the main foyer," said Derpy, pointing through a glass window.
Pinkie peeked in and sighed. "Let's get going."
The three ponies shoved their way through the packed crowd, slowly but surely approaching the ornate double doors to the throne room.
Once they'd reached the throne room, Pinkie was the first to notice an abrupt pause in the crowd, as she was further ahead than the other two. "Come on guys, I think we're almost there!" she called out.
Derpy and Joe hastened their efforts, eager to get through the frustrating crowd. Pretty soon, they were each standing side by side at the front of the crowd. A large segment of the royal guard stood a few feet ahead, leaving an empty space between them and the crowd, their neat formation contrasting with the confusion around them.
A few of them were drooling though. They too were chanting along with the crowd.
The princesses sat in their thrones at the far back. Both of their manes had taken on a brownish color to match Muffin's crust. Their expressions were silly and deranged, proving the fact that they had indeed gone insane from bitting Muffin. Muffin, who'd shrank to less than half his original size, was placed on a luxurious pillow on a tall pedestal between the two princesses. He had a tiny crown on his crust.
"Oh Muffin…" Derpy sniffed. "What have they done to you?"