The exam starts off with a series of answer boxes for me to type into, after a request to turn in any éTech devices before the test. The first several are easy.
What respective items are used to cure Poison, Burns, and Paralysis?
Antidote, Burn Heal, Paralyze heal. Or, if you’ve got money, a full heal works on them all.
Which Type typically has the fastest rate of growth?
Bug
Man, I could answer these in my sleep if I had to. These are definitely geared towards people with little actual book-smarts, and more ‘I wanna go train pokémon!’ attitude. At least they’re asking important questions.
Which three Pokémon types are typically offered as starters?
Water, fire, grass
How many different types have been discovered thus far?
17. 18 if you count Fairy Type
I hope that doesn’t get counted against me; I’m not actually sure if Fairy types are a thing here, but if not, I can just say that Twi and Rarity are. Nobody’s seen shit like that before!
Your foe has a Dark/Steel Pokémon, what type of move would deal the most damage to it?
A Fighting-type move
I’ve had to deal with this exact problem, thankfully, as well as being the one with a Bisharp myself The next one, though...
Your foe has a Dark/Ghost Pokémon, who is presently protected by a Force Field hold item, and can only be hit by super effective moves. What move type must you use?
None will work. I’d have a Pokémon use Trick, Covet, or Knock Off to remove the hold item first.
Name three ways Pokémon can evolve.
Evolution stones, getting enough experience, and certain environments depending on varying conditions.
Wild Stunky will indiscriminately spray anything in their territory. True or false?
False, they only spray intruders and to mark the edges of the territory.
At least, that’s what I’m hoping. If I ever run across one, well- it’s a good thing that it only lasts twenty-four hours before it fades.
What is the signature move of most cocoon-stage pokémon?
Harden
What is the most basic of damage-dealing attacks that the majority of Pokémon learn?
Tackle
Pshh, easy.
Name a move that can causes recoil damage and how to avoid it.
Take Down, Flare Blitz, Double Edge, Volt Tackle, Submission, Brave Bird, Wood Hammer, Head Smash, Head Charge, Wild Charge, and Struggle. The ability Rock Head allows the user to use these moves and stay unharmed by them.
This counts for bonus points, right?
Easy stuff. Now on to the Vocal Response Questions, which require I basically shout the answer at the computer, and it checks somehow how my response works.
You’re using a well-trained Pidgey, at League Level twenty. Your opponent is a Graveler, who has just begun a Rollout charge against your pokémon. React!
“Use Sand-Attack!”
A strong trainer has baited you into a battle you weren’t ready for, and reveals a high-strength Gabite, and your only pokémon is a Nidorino. You have a few moments to prepare for the fight, since your opponent thinks you cannot win. What one item will allow you to have a higher chance of success?
Ooh, tough one, I know a few. “If Nidorino knows Fling, I’d give him an Iron Ball. If I’m allowed to use a Technical Machine, I’d choose one with an Ice-type. An example would be Ice Beam or Aurora Beam.”
You’ve encountered a rare, varicolored pokémon. However, it looks as though it was injured previous to encountering you. What do you do?
“Varicolored Pokémon are very rare, but League rules state I must leave it alone or offer assistance to injured wild Pokémon if able to.”
A fellow trainer appears to be cheating in a battle against another trainer, though you’re not sure how, exactly. What do you do, and why?
“Find an authority figure or call one, and relay what is going on. I should not do anything myself as I am not legally allowed to take action.”
A small item-sphere is laying on the ground, and could contain something useful. However, it’s likely someone dropped it. What do you do?
“I look around for anyone nearby and ask if they dropped something. If nobody claims it as theirs and nobody comes back for it within five hours, I will be able to claim it as my own.”
A few more questions later, I think I’ve done well, and I wait for Twilight and Rarity to finish their tests as well. If I’m right, next comes the fun part. Battling for real!
I step up to the Professor as she calls me over to the door leading to a small battling range. A pair of stacked dispensers hold nearly four dozen pokéballs, with a spot to grab a ball next to the door.
“Alright, we each get three pokémon, from the randomizer, and cannot view a pokémon before using it in battle. First to have all their pokémon faint loses, though it’s not a failing grade if you don’t succeed. I’m judging your reactions more than your actual skill right now.” She grabs the first three balls on the hopper, then motions for me to grab some too.
I take my three and put the one I decided would be ‘first’ into my right hand and tap the button to enlarge it and I get a spark of excitement running down my spine as it fills my hand. “I’m ready Prof, let’s see how I do, huh?”
She starts off by throwing her first pokéball straight up, and it releases to the ground, where a Swanna takes form.
“Huh, not a bad pick. Let’s see what I got!” I toss the Pokéball towards my end of the room and watch as the bright, scarlet light launches out of the ball, hyping me up for what could come out. What is revealed when the light fades is short and pink.
“Happiny!” Well... crap. Time to improvise.
“Alright then, Happiny! Use Sweet Kiss!” If I can confuse it, I’ll stand a chance yet.
Sure enough, the little pink Chansey-to-be, launches itself forward and smooches the Swanna, little pink hearts materializing and dissolving in the air nearby. Both the bird pokémon and its trainer are too shocked to react first, though the Swanna quickly backs up at the Prof’s command. It stumbles a bit, shaking it’s head, pointing its beak menacingly... about a foot to the left of Happiny.
Perfect.
The Prof barks out an order to Wing Attack, and the bird charges forward.
“Happiny, Sweet Kiss again!” With a charging strike like that, no way Swanna can dodge in time!
the bird isn’t able to dodge, but the hearts don’t form this time, and the Prof gives me a look, but I don’t have time to gauge it. The Swanna, fully able to react to Happiny, sweeps its wings out, buffeting the air. Thankfully, the little pink pokémon had simply rolled under the larger pokémon in a show of surprising alacrity.
“Copycat! Give it a Wing Attack back!”
The little stone in the Happiny’s pouch glowed a sterling silver for a moment, then a pair of phantasmal wings formed at its sides. The wings sweep up in a vicious uppercut that hits the Swanna right in the jaw, and the big bird goes down.
The prof nods, then recalls the pokémon, before throwing the next ball.
And with a shimmer, out comes... an Omanyte! Oh my goodness, it’s so adorable, with the itty-bitty tentacles and giant eyes and... right, battle now, squee later.
I think over how Happiny could get around it... first things first, wanna make sure Happiny could survive a direct hit. “Use Charm!”
Happiny smiles and coos adorably, waving at the mollusc. Little happy dips in the bottom of the water-types eyes show it’s working. The professor ruins the moment with a call to use Water Gun... which the Omanyte doesn’t do, leading to both of us being confused. Then, it starts crying, looking so very sad that it hurts.
I speak before recalling who I’m talking to. “For Arceus’ sakes lady, what do you do to nearly ex-”
Before I can finish, the Omanyte lunges forward in a shocking display of speed, and a series of scratch marks form on Happiny as the water-type’s tentacles blur and shimmer. The little pink egg-shape whimpers and recoils.
Wait... shimmer? Scratches?
“Interesting moves... Well played...” I grumble under my breath. “Alright Happiny, come back, time for a strategy change!” As the little pokémon gratefully returns, I select the next pokémon from the trio, and throw it out. It materializes in mid-air, and thuds to the ground; a burly Geodude stares at the Omanyte.
Hmmm, this is either good or a mistake. For one, I know Geodude are normally slow, so then... “Geodude, Rock Polish!” Thankfully, this one seems to know the move, as it lifts itself by its arms, then spins like a dynamo and polishes itself on the ground.
The professor grins. “Alright, I think I understand now. Let’s see how you react to... Extrasensory!”
I blink. Omanyte doesn’t learn... but then, the eyes on the little helix-fossil light up, and Geodude grabs its head -Face? Body?- and cries out in pain.
Waitaminute... “Geodude, that’s not an Omanyte! I don’t know how she could know either since she’s not supposed to check her Pokémon, but give it a Rock Smash!”
The Geodude blinks, and reaches over to smack the offending pokémon, knocking it back. As it lands, the illusion over it breaks, revealing a Zorua, who stands back up and smirks at me.
“I figured it out when he couldn’t use Water Gun, and used Fake Tears and Fury Swipes instead.” she said.
“Yeah, well it’s on now. Geodude, Magnitude!”
The rocky pokémon pushes itself into the air, and slams into the ground, shaking the entire building as a short ripple stretches outwards towards the Zorua, who tries to hop over it. However, the little guy can’t make it, and trips, smacking face-first into the ground. I- I actually feel kinda bad for that one, very damaging or not, because that looked embarrassing; and Zorua are proud pokémon.
Oh well. I’m here to win! “Alright Geodude, Rock Polish then follow up with a Rollout!” The rounded pokémon spins itself again, then keeps up the momentum and tucks in its arms to roll at the Zorua, who barely dodges. The second pass, however, catches him, and takes the fox-like pokémon down.
“Alright, good work observing the field, and you have a very good knowledge of the Pokémon’s move possibilities. I suppose we both know my last pokémon at this point.” She calmly returns the Zorua, and sends out the real Omanyte, who looks more vicious than the faux version did.
“Now, use Withdraw!” she immediately shouts, and the pokémon slips into its armored shell, peeking out just enough to move and see.
“Keep up your Rollout Geodude, Ground beats Rock!” Geodude continues its assault, and smacks into Omanyte, shearing off a chunk of Omanyte’s shell. The professor tells it to Withdraw again, and I encourage more Rollout. I do have to wonder about the piece that broke off.
when Geodude hits Omanyte again, and another piece snaps off and goes flying like a piece of brittle pottery, I’m wracking my brains for why the Professor is just letting this happen; Omanyte’s gonna run out of shell if this keeps up.
“Geodude, quit it, Omanyte’s shell is gonna break!”
even as my pokémon went to reply, reaching out with its arms to halt itself, the professor calls out, “Water Pulse!” and a near-instant response knocks Geodude to the ground, Omanyte out of the remains of its shell and blasting the rock-ground type with curling beats of water. Geodude, eyes spinning, tries to disengage.
“That’s enough!” I pull Geodude back, and toss out my next Pokémon. A Piloswine!
“Alright! Jeffery is back mother-fuckers!” I catch the professor’s glare, and decide to apologize for the language before she develops heat-rays. “Sorry, anyways, I realize my Faux Pas earlier with Rollout, but I know Mud-Slap is Ground. Piloswine, give it all you got!”
As the wooly pokémon sweeps a hidden limb to gather the mud, the prof responds with “Rock-Slide! Use it as a barrier!”
The little mollusc rolls and throws more pieces of its shell into a barrier on the ground, easily smacking almost all of the mud out of the air. Surprisingly, there was no explosion. Though, I’m not entirely sure why I thought there would be one.
“Again, this time for the attack!” the professor shouts, and more chunks of stony shell go flying at Piloswine, pelting it through its coat and battering it back from the sheer flurry of attacks. The larger pokémon was weathering the blows, though, and was only leaning a little. It also sounded pissed.
“Alright, use Powder Snow!”
The light flurry of snow floated through the air, leaving trails of frost on the ground and on Omanyte. The little pokémon winced, but did not fall.
“One more time, Rock Slide!” Piloswine wasn’t fast enough to dodge, and the only moves I can think of to deflect the attack are fairly high-leveled...
In the moment of hesitation, the battle is lost, as the rocky pieces of Omanyte’s shell slam home, and Piloswine grunts and tips over.
I call back my... her Pokémon, and approach her. “Nice use of Shell Smash, using an opponent’s attack to disguise an advantage.”
“Actually, this particular Omanyte just has Weak Shell. every time you struck with Rollout, you were increasing my speed advantage, until you slowed your Geodude long enough for me to retaliate. though, I will say, you did very well. All of these pokémon are either the children, grandchildren, or great-grandchildren of my original collection here. I actually used to be league champion here in Otaria for a couple of years, oh, twenty years ago.”
“Well dang. You must’ve beat the League when you were, what? Ten? Five? Here I am, twenty-two and just starting!”
The professor laughed, a rich, hearty laugh. “No, no, I was twenty-three at the time.”
“Well, you certainly battle like someone with years of experience, doesn’t really matter when you start, right?”
“Wow, all the young comments, gone, just like that. Maybe I should fail you just for being disrespectful.” She smiled and winked, and we both shared a laugh. “But in truth, you did very well. you didn’t push your pokémon too hard, and when you thought you were doing serious harm to my own pokémon, you chose to back off instead of potentially crippling a pokémon. I think you’ll do well.” A beeping sound issued from a pouch at her hip. She whipped out a smartphone-lookalike and looked at it. “Ah, it seems your... friend has finished exam. By the way, it looks like you passed the exam, though you got a couple of questions wrong.”
“Really? Dang. Oh well, can’t win ‘em all. How are the girls doing?”
“I can’t go giving out other’s test scores. Oh, and because we haven’t been formally introduced yet...” She straightens up, and extends a hand and a warm smile. “I’m Professor Basswood, and I’m an accredited Professor, who has been studying the incredible diversity of Otaria for nearly thirty years.”
I smile and shake her hand. “I’m Anthony, a man wanting to realize his childhood dream and that of many others. Also, I figured you’re important, getting a parcel directly from anyone in the Oak family.”
“Well, what with one of their family branches pretty much owning the company that produces and validates trainer cards, the speedy emergency shipments are the only way to keep up with the spot issues like yours, and get the trainers that aren’t in the main block their certifications. Most of the time, though, I just sit around and keep an eye on the local populations. Otaria is so big and diverse, there’s actually two other Professors stationed here. If you see Aspen or Hemlock, they’ll likely have things for you to do. The three of us have our own research assistants, and you can chat them up anytime, though pretty much all of mine are in the field right now.”
“Alright, I’ll keep that in mind.” I think for a bit. “Is it alright if I watch your battles with the girls? I’ll... just leave if the urge to give hints is too much.”
“Yes, that’s fine, as long as they don’t mind. Though I do believe your friend -Rarity was it?- will likely have an easier time of it, as her exam is a little different. She’ll also need to find someone who can give a Full Breeder’s License, because I’m not qualified. I’ve never actually done much of the competition scene, and all of my breeding has been to result in the powerful little rugrats you saw a few minutes ago.”
“Wait... breeder!? She did that well? She said she wanted to be a coordinator!” I can’t imagine Rarity doing so well... but then, people, or ponies, will surprise you.
“I was talking with her while you did your test, and she want to do that as part of being a coordinator. After all, she said, good breeding means good things. I suppose it makes more sense to her, but I can understand what she meant.”
“Yep. Same here.” Surprise is over, Rarity’s just being herself, if a bit uneducated. “So, let’s see what you get, randomized battles have always been my favorite! Er... to watch! Not like I’ve ever participated. Nope.”
“Alright, that was suspicious. What are you hiding? You know that I’ll have to search you up anyways, if you’ve had your card revoked before or anything...” her voice trails off menacingly.
“Nope, I’m clean I swear! Look me up all you want, I’ve got nothing to hide, really.”
“Mhmm... well, then you can stop acting all nervous, if you’re truly innocent. As long as you’re in the system and have no problems, then there won’t be any problems.”
“Fine with me. So... I’m probably gonna need a map of the region. Know where I can get one?”
“There’s actually a convenience store a block away. We don’t have a full ‘Mart or Center here, but I can handle medical procedures and such just fine.”
“How convenient.” I say with a grin. “So now we’re just waiting on Rarity?”
“Actually, she’s waiting for us to go get her, you’ve been talking a lot.”
“Right, sorry. You go get her. I’ll just... be here.” I sit and twiddle my thumbs as I wait. Man, I really hope I didn’t just step in it.