//------------------------------// // Ch 3: Baaaaaad // Story: Spiked // by Wake N Bake //------------------------------// "Fantastic," Princess Luna said over hysterical laughter. Pinkie "Pinkamena" Pie and Fluttershy the Bat Pony battled it out in the wilderness of Apple Acres. But their skirmish actually never happened. Princess Luna placed a spell on the two unsuspecting ponies. She induced a sleeping spell on them that allows her to also manipulate their dreams. Luna whispered their actions to them while projecting the events for her and Princess Twilight Sparkle to see. "Luna," Twilight said over reserved snickering. "That is, like, so bad. You're bad." "Oh, come off it, Twilight," Luna said ceasing the projection. "It's just harmless fun. Here watch this." Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie were in a deep sleep. Luna used her magic to position the two slumbering ponies in a suggestive position. She placed Fluttershy's nose right under Pinkie Pie's tail. Luna exploded with laughter. "Aren't I just too much?" "Wow Luna," still snickering. "Don't you ever feel bad, y'know?" "Not one bit. It's so much fun being bad." "Isn't that, evil, like…" "It's not evil to be bad. We all have our bad sides. Even my sister." "Wait, what?" Twilight said in disbelief. "Come on let's go for walk." "Wait, I'll put some of the punch in my can... thingy." Twilight grabbed a canteen and filled it with Spike's punch and placed it around her neck. She crookedly trotted to catch up with Luna. The two princesses wobbled into the Apple orchid, sharing the punch. The two laughed at the stories Luna told about her and Princess Celestia's exploits. "And one time," Luna began. "Celest dated the boy from the royal gardener's family. He was a cutie. I liked him, too. But he was a bit of a jerk. He took pride in this work. There was a sunflower he raised himself that he treasured. He'd stop the world for that thing. He was supposed to take Celest out for ice cream one day. And he stood her up! He said he lost track of time cleaning the petals of his prized flower. So then one day she made him a salad for lunch. I don't need to tell you what she made it out of." "What? What did she do," Twilight eagerly awaited the outcome ignoring the obvious. "Twilight... she fed him his flower." "NO. WAY," Twilight gasped in disbelief. "She hates Cadence." Twilight was stunned silent, mouth agape. "Oh, I hate her, too," Luna huffed. "Stuck up anorexic prima pony. Fake ass bitch. Excuse my vernacular. I just despise her. Skanky whore pony." "Does she hate… me?" Twilight whimpered. "Oh, Twilight, she loves you. She really does. She told me you remind her of me!" Twilight cracked a crooked smile. She was relieved to hear that Princess Celestia thinks highly of her. "But she's a frosty bit, that one," Luna continued. "She fights wars all of the time, conquering land, sea, and air! That requires strength. But she's not without compassion. Those two guards that guard her throne are her adopted children! She conquered the kingdom of Trottingham, decades ago and managed to save them when they were just colts. Their father was a tyrannical warlock and their mother was killed by him." "Wow," Twilight muttered. "Yes- but she is a twat! She never does the dirty work. "Dirty work? Like, gardening?" "No silly filly! She doesn't... kill... that's my job." "Wha-?" "I'm a mistress of the dark arts. Sometimes I have to kill and absorb life force. It makes my magic stronger. I didn't like it at first and sometimes it still is hard for me to do, but when I noticed I was a natural at it, I rather enjoyed it, a lot! It's just that sometimes there is much to do and she refuses to help. She can take a life, too if she wanted. She just doesn't" "So wait," Twilight said after taking a swig from her canteen. "You get yer power from the dying. Does that mean Princhess Celestria get her power from the living?" Luna grabbed the canteen from Twilight and took several swigs. "You bet yer ass!" "Luna, yer so baaaaaad!" The two princess shared a bubbly laugh together as they continued walking, bumping into each other as they carried along. They came upon a small creek to dip their hooves in. They passed the canteen back and forth as they shared stories and queries. It was as if Twilight and Luna were bonding as sisters. "Lunie," Twilight said. "Do you think you could teach me dark magic?" "Well, sure I can Twi," Luna said to her as she sat up. "But you have to embrace your dark side!" "Oh. Well, how do I do that?" "I don't know. Be baaaaaad!" "I think I know where yur goin' with this!" Twilight stood up and walked over to Luna. She stood over her with Luna's body under hers. Twilight softly laid on top of Luna. She held her hooves up to Luna's face. Luna looked at Twilight's face to decipher her intentions. Before she could ask what she was planning to do, Twilight stopped her by kissing her. Luna flailed and flopped about until finally she pushed Twilight away from her. "What was that, Twilight?" "Idunno, I thought you were giving me the signal to, y'know...make-out…" "Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, Twi," Luna said spitting and wiping her mouth. "But even if I was that kind of pony, I wouldn't go out with yo-... well, I would have somepony else, in mind." Twilight just sat there looking at Luna with big puppy dog eyes and her hooves over her mouth, shocked and dismayed. "Twilight, have you ever had a boyfriend?" "SHUT UP," Twilight yelled, full of embarrassment. "...It shows, doesn't it?" "Oh, come now, it wasn't all THAT bad," Luna said trying to console her. "Perhaps a little less slobber, when you tongue somepony, okay?" Twilight was still caught up in her embarrassment. Luna took it upon herself to help cheer her up by changing the subject. "Y'know, there are other ways to be bad. Have you considered killing some-" "APPSOLOOLLY NOT" "ShhhShsHShShhh! So Loud!" "I do have this one idea," Twilight said standing up on all fours. "Oh you do, do you? Care to share what it is?" Twilight summoned solar magic. She blasted Luna with a solar flare, entrapping her in a impenetrable bubble made of solar energy. "What are you doing Twilight?" Luna said trying to break free. Twilight had control of the bubble levitating Luna and moving her as she pleased. "Alright, Luna, I hope you're prepared…" "Prepared? For what?" Luna grew a bit frightened. "I hope you're prepared… to… kiss my butt!" "What?" Twilight floated Princess Luna to her hindquarters. She forced her face onto Twilight's cutie mark, all the while laughing uncontrollably. She released the Moon Princess on the ground. She rolled around holding her sides while laughing. Luna soon caught her laughter after the daring stunt. "Not bad, Twilight." "Yeah?" the new princess said over laughter. "Am I baaaaad, yet?" "Not yet. But if you can do that to Princess Celestia, then maybe." "Let's do it," Twilight said eagerly. "What?" "Right now. Let's do it! C'mon les go dewit!" "Well, Twilight! I've never seen this side of you." "That's 'cause I'm feelin' great!" "Aren't you worried she'll be upset." "What? You said she likes me. She'll probably laugh along with us. Besides, this is just to learn dark magic. Surely she'll understand."