Scholar's Mate

by MagnetBolt

Black, Turn 3: Black Knight to F6

“I am going to blow us all to Tartarus!”

Unicorns screamed and started running in circles, masked ponies with crossbows keeping them from fleeing. Al'Azoof, watched calmly, eyes narrow. The artist was the only pony who hadn't reacted to the reveal that Trixie had wings, or the earth pony's threat.

Trixie wasn't terribly impressed with the threat - it wasn't the first time Trixie had heard those words. That alone said a lot about the sort of relationships Trixie had been involved in in the past. She hoped that Twilight would prove to be more stable, but the one time she'd mentioned that to Cadence, the pink alicorn had laughed awkwardly and changed the subject.

“Praxis, killing them all isn't going to help our cause, especially if nopony knows why it happened.” A voice rang out, as clear as a bell, right over the screams of the foppish unicorns. Everything seemed to slow down and go quiet as she walked in, a slim pony in glittering silver and white armor that was smooth and form-fitting to her body. Her coat was a teal so light that the color was barely there at all, with a long navy mane that hung down around her face.

“Platinum, I-” Praxis looked down, hoof moving away from the bright red cord that would trigger the bomb he was wearing.

“Shh.” She smiled and walked up to him, nuzzling him for a moment and calming him down. “Remember, we're trying to fix this broken nation, not just kill ponies.”

“So are you two going to start making out, or is this still a hostage situation?” Babbidi asked. “I swear, when I was the villain I did a much better job of it.”

“Trixie remembers having to coach you on proper dramatic speeches and the expected tropes of being a villain,” Trixie noted, as she got her wings calmed down and back within her black cloak, not that it was really keeping a secret anymore.

“Yes, but I didn't stop to cuddle with my special somepony,” Babbidi noted, with a sneer.

“Do you even have a special somepony?” Trixie asked. “Trixie has gotten so used to a certain pair doing lewd things in front of her that she sometimes forgets that one can have a significant other and not be constantly fighting or making out.”

“It's basically the same thing for those two,” Koloth noted.

“Oh, Trixie has noticed,” she sighed.

“Excuse me,” the white-armored pony interjected. “But we're the heroes. Also, we should introduce ourselves. I am Platinum Star, and these brave ponies are the Earth Pony Liberation Front.”

Koloth snorted. “You have hostages and a bomb. That hardly makes you the heroes.”

“Oh really?” The mare smirked. “I don't see how you have the right to say that. All of my ponies are bravely struggling to do the right thing. Look at Sakura Sprinkle over there. Her cherry farm was seized by the crown. They paid her a pittance and then she finds out later that her orchards have been torn down so a unicorn with more money than common sense can have a new summer home with a mountain view. Her family had built that farm up over a hundred years, and it was gone the instant a unicorn asked for it. Everypony here has a story like that.”

“Taking hostages isn't going to get you the attention you want. It's just going to get you thrown in the dungeon,” Koloth growled.

“We tried everything else!” Praxis yelled. “We even waited for months just to get a chance to speak to Celestia in person! Oh she listened and nodded and promised to send somepony out to look. And you know what they did? They reported that the laws were being followed, case closed. The laws are the part that's unfair in the first place!”

“What about Night Court?” Koloth asked. “The docket is always empty enough that there's no real wait, and Luna more or less represents checks and balances against her sister.”

“I'd be worried that she'd be concerned about going against her sister,” Babbidi commented. “She's been trying to be a good sister and stay in line.”

“And when she does nothing, what then?” Platinum Star asked. “Do we move on to the Crystal Empress and ask her to intervene in matters outside her domain? Do we beg Princess Twilight Sparkle for help and hope she doesn't try to solve this problem with the same giant show of force she uses on everything else? If we just keep passing the bit and never take responsibility for our future ourselves, how can we expect to get respect?”

“I cannot believe we fell to an ambush from these pieces of baktag!” Ingrid cursed, struggling against the ropes binding her and Lucky Strike. Under other circumstances being tied up and pinned down with her mate would be a welcome way to spend an evening, but not when it meant she'd lost a battle.

“You know what bothers me?” Lucky asked. He'd been deep in thought since he had been tied up.

“No doubt that they interrupted us before I could get my beak around-”

“Not that. They said I was an inept minion!” Lucky sighed. “I'm not an inept minion! I was almost on the Wonderbolts and I got great marks in training!”

“Of course you are not inept,” Ingrid snorted. “You are one of the most determined warriors in the night guard.”

“It's also, well... I heard them talking.” Lucky coughed. “About how they're fighting for equal rights and stuff. And I started to get worried.”

“There is nothing to be worried about.” Ingrid struggled harder. “They are mere amateurs and we are professional soldiers.”

“Well, that's why I'm worried,” Lucky said. “I mean, we shouldn't have lost, even with our pants down. Figuratively speaking. It would be literal if we wore pants, though. But what I mean is, there's only one way we could have lost.” Luck swallowed, nervous. “Ingrid, are we the bad guys?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Think about it. We're all wearing scary armor, and we literally and figuratively serve a dark horse. We all love Luna, but she did try to end the world a couple of times.”

“That was the Nightmare. It was just controlling Luna.”

“I know. But we also, personally, particpated in the invasion of the Castle of the Twin Sisters, and probably killed a bunch of ponies.”

“We were not given a choice. It was during a war and we had to escape.”

“And look at the chain of command. We hit like, all the classic evil commander types. We've got an evil witch, a scarred and experienced warrior, a literal shapeshifting monster...”

“Which one am I?”

“The sadistic and violent temptress.”

“You always know what to say to please me,” Ingrid purred. “What about Koloth?”

“He's the one honorable pony who is torn between loyalty and justice.”

“Durin?”

“The pony who just follows orders and never questions them even as he does terrible things.”

“Hm. And what about our great and powerful leader?”

“Trixie? Don't even get me started.”

“We already know how this will end,” Trixie said, calmly. “We'll have a duel, which Trixie will of course win because she is great and powerful and you are terrorists.”

“Freedom fighters,” Platinum Star corrected.

“Whatever,” Trixie said.

“And we aren't going to have a duel,” Platinum said. “This isn't a fight. This isn't even a battle. I had my men take out your inept guards so we could shine a light of justice on the plight of the humble ponies of Equestria, who toil away while unicorns live on the backs of their labors!”

“Trixie resents that. She worked hard for everything she has!”

“You could never understand real labor! Having to plow fields and harvest crops just to keep your family fed-”

“Trixie has been supporting herself on the road as a traveling showmare since she was out of school.” Trixie huffed, managing to look even more offended. “Plowing fields is hard work, but it's far more stable than what Trixie was put through.”

“Um, she also sort of worked at our rock farm...” muttered one of the masked ponies to Platinum's right.

“Inkie Pie? Is that you?” Trixie stepped past Platinum to look at the mare. “It is you! Trixie thought you were at art college!”

“I sort of am,” Inkie admitted. “Actually, Praxis teaches pottery and I'm getting extra credit for-”

“Shut up!” Praxis hissed.

“You're a teacher?” Babbidi asked. “What was all that before about hard work, then?”

“Being a teacher is one of the most difficult and rewarding jobs a pony can have!” Praxis countered. “And pottery is not only one of the oldest forms of art, but a useful trade on its own!”

“Are we really being held hostage by a bunch of students?” Koloth growled.

“The greatest revolutions start with youth involvement!”

“This is pathetic!” Koloth roared. “This so-called hostage situation is over! Put down those crossbows before you hurt yourselves and leave! I should have you all thrown in a dungeon but you're clearly too stupid to learn anything from it!”

Inkie and a few others started to do so before Platinum raised a hoof. “Stop. Don't just follow orders from authority like that, it's what's gotten society into the mess it's in right now. Do you remember our real goals?”

“T-to get equality for everypony and make sure that working ponies of Equestria who carry the true burdens of this great nation are given their fair share of what they produce, because, um...” Inkie hesitated. “I forgot the rest.”

“Because they are the source of production, which is objectively a more noble pursuit than merely moving money around or living a life of idle leisure from investments,” Platinum finished.

“You know, those investments provided the capital needed to start up those businesses that you're talking about in the first place,” Babbidi pointed out. “Without investors its much more difficult to start a new business, as you have to self-finance the whole thing yourself and assume all the risk.” She looked back at Trixie and whispered. “My father owns a mine and wanted me to get a business degree. I had to learn all this in school.”

“Is this really the place for a lecture on the basic nature of market capitalism?” Koloth asked.

“Well she started it,” Babbidi countered. “If she wants to complain about ponies making money from investments, which venture capitalists often use to then fund further investments, she needs to be ready to talk about the importance of loans to a startup.”

“It's one thing to loan money, it's another thing to take so much of a pony's earnings that they barely scrape by!”

“It's a free market. If a pony doesn't like the terms of a loan they're always free to decline and
find another investor.”

“Like the average pony can even understand the legalese that contracts are written in! Half of the ponies I know are stuck with loans where the terms are written in Old Equestrian! And if they want to hire a lawyer just so they can understand what in Tartarus is being said, that's more bits down the drain!” Platinum Star advanced on Babbidi, looming down at her. Babbidi kept her gaze, not impressed.

“There are laws that protect ponies who are victims of predatory lending, and there's public legal assistance paid for by the crown for those who can't afford lawyers-”

“Taxes! Hah! That's just another drain on the working pony! The government takes half your wages, then you use the other half to pay the interest on your loan and if you're lucky you barely have enough to feed yourself when it's all said and done!”

“This is the worst hostage situation Trixie has ever been a part of.”

“Can you get to the knot?”

“Bah. Neg. I can't twist my talon enough.” Ingrid grunted. “I nearly popped it out of the socket trying to reach it last time.”

“What we need is a plan that doesn't rely on stupid brute strength... wait a minute. I got it!” Lucky grinned. “Okay what we're gonna do is, you play dead, and I'll pretend to freak out. When they come in to check on us, I'll say you were having problems breathing and they'll loosen the ropes while they check on you, then you jump them!”

“That is a stupid plan. A griffon would never fall for it.”

“A griffon would have shot us instead of tying us up.”

“...That is true. We will try your stupid plan.” Ingrid shifted her weight, then went limp. Lucky waited a few moments to make sure she was comfortable, then started yelling. It only took seconds for the door to be opened, and two masked earth ponies to walk in, one on three hooves and covering the other from the door.

“You've gotta help! I think something's wrong with her!” Lucky said, trying to look back at Ingrid.

“Really? That old trick?” The unarmed pony snorted. “I've read plenty of Daring Do novels so that one's not gonna work on me.”

Ingrid sighed and looked up. She glanced behind him to the armed pony. “Look out behind you.”

“You're really desperate if you think-” He felt something prodding him in the back. The pony turned, frowning. Behind him was a changeling holding a crossbow. “Oh for bucks sake.”

“...see, so you can't have it both ways. If you want regulation of business owners and loaning practices there needs to be a regulatory body. And the only way you're going to get that is with a government, and that means paying taxes.”

“The problem isn't the concept of the regulatory body or, really, the taxes. It's that policy from the cabinet and council has consistently favored the already-wealthy because of campaign contributions, unicorns more easily achieving higher education because of said wealth, and the simple fact that many on said council are themselves weathy from loans, which means they'll never vote for anything that would take money out of their own pockets...”

“Trixie was happier when this was just a bomb threat.” She grumbled, grabbing a glass of champagne from the buffet table and downing it in one swig.

“That might be true, but this is good practice for when you have to listen to this kind of nonsense all night,” Koloth noted. “Assuming we don't fall asleep, and your ex doesn't try to kill us with that bomb strapped to his flank.”

“Excuse me,” asked a soft voice. Trixie turned to look, and had to look up at the tall figure of Al'Azhoof, the sculptor as tall as Luna, though with a coat that was just barely off-white and a long lavender mane. “I hope I am not interrupting anything delicate.” She batted her eyes at Trixie and Koloth, her posture and expression difficult to read under the veils and ribbons that cloaked much of her form, but managed to leave her flank bare.

“Trixie has no idea.” Trixie sighed. “If Trixie had her magic this would be over already. Instead we have to listen to them have a debate with no pony really paying attention.”

“That is true. Neither seems to have more than a cursory grasp of economic theory,” Al'Azhoof agreed. “But I am not here to bore you with that pointless debate. There is something more important at hoof. You are an alicorn.”

“Well, Trixie doesn't like to boast-”

“That is the most incredible damn lie anypony has ever told,” Koloth growled.

“-about that particular thing. Trixie does sometimes boast about other things.”

“Why have they not announced you?” Al'Azhoof asked. “This is a momentous occasion. To think, two alicorns appearing in my lifetime.”

“Two? What about Cadence?” Trixie raised an eyebrow.

“I am not so old,” Al'Azhoof laughed. “But this explains my dreams.”

“Your dreams?”

“It is my gift, my... talent.” Al'Azhoof's eyes unfocused. “In my dreams I can see the many possible futures, coming clearer as they near. A dark sun filling the sky with crimson light. Five falling stars. The dead walking among the living. The source of magic itself-” She stopped, blinking, eyes focusing on Trixie and Koloth again. “My dreams are not pleasant, but they have inspired much of my art. It is only right that you are here, tonight, to see this.” She looked back to the covered statue.

“What is it?” Trixie asked, suddenly interested.

“It is-” Al'Azhoof was cut off as the doors opened with a crash, an earth pony running into the room.

“Praxis! The Princess is here!”

“This is thy list of demands?” Luna asked, taking a scroll from the shivering pony before her. She had come with only a token number of guards.

“Y-yes, your highness. But, um, where is Celestia? We-”

“Are we not more than sufficient? Do thou think that we are somehow lesser than our sister?” Luna glared down at the pony, narrowing her eyes. “Thou makest a grave error if thou thinks such, Inkie Pie.”

Inkie gasped and fell to her knees. “How did you know who I am?! I'm wearing a mask!”

“We have seen thy dreams, foal! All that thou are is laid bare before us!”

“Oh, Princess! I didn't- I didn't know you were... like that.” Inkie blushed. “I-I mean I'm flattered but I sort of have somepony I already like and, you know, I wouldn't want to abandon him even if it is for a Princess.”

“...That is not what we meant!” Luna said, groaning. She opened the list of demands. “So thou demand... two bunches of celery, a pound of carrots-”

“It's on the other side! I was running out of parchment so I put it on one of my old grocery lists.”

“'Tis insulting. A thousand years ago, should any pony dare to made demands on a Princess we would have them flung into the sun! Why, our sister had a huge catapult built for just such a need! And it worked perfectly, save the time we attempted to throw a sun-eating monster into her sun. And when we attempted to throw Discord into the sun and he returned on fire and extremely upset.” Luna tapped her chin. “We do so miss the sun launcher. We must find out if our sister has kept it in good repair. 'Tis a source of so many fond memories.”

“M-ma'am, I should warn you, um, we're- they're holding everypony hostage with a bomb. So if you try to go in, they'll set it off.” Inkie Pie scraped at the dirt with a hoof. “This totally isn't worth the extra credit.”

Luna tossed the list aside. “We need do nothing. Tell thy leader that he is already defeated.”

“I was thinking, um. I might not go back.” Inkie coughed. “This really got out of hoof. It was just supposed to be a peaceful protest. Then there were crossbows and things kinda got nuts.”

“'Twould be wise on your part. Thou must see, he has not merely locked the hostages in with himself. He has locked himself in with my finest soldiers!”

“We are the worst soldiers ever,” somepony groaned. Durin snorted, lying still. The tiny net had completely immobilized him.

“Don't lump me in with you. If I could get free they'd be in real trouble!” Durin tried to shake the net free to no avail.

“Sir, it... it doesn't even cover your whole body. Can't you just take it off?”

“Hah! Of course he can't!” One of the masked ponies laughed at Durin and the other soldiers that were tied up in the back storage room of the museum. “You see, making and using nets is my special talent, and I can tell you right now that the tiny net is inescapable!”

The unnamed bat pony looked at Durin, then the masked pony. “What? That doesn't make sense. Look, I'm still tied up and I'm pretty sure I could get that off him with my damn teeth.”

“Hah! You'd just be caught in the inescapable grip of the tiny net!” The masked pony laughed loudly.

“I don't... what?” The bat pony gave him a look, then womed over to Durin and grabbed the edge of the net with his teeth. “Ook! I c'n git this obb him right now...”

“Don't! You're just going to get caught like I was!” Durin said, struggling to get away from the bat pony.

The bat pony pulled, and the net came free, because it was just a tiny net. Durin and the masked pony gasped in surprise.

“How did you do that?!” The masked pony asked, stepping back.

“It's not even big enough to use as a tablecloth!” The bat pony exclaimed, exasperated. “It could barely catch a cat!”

“Time t' give him a taste of his own medicine,” Durin said, standing up. “Only instead of his own medicine, which is nets, I'm gonna knock his teeth in with m' hooves.”

“I really need to get transferred to another unit,” the bat pony muttered.

“This ends now!” Koloth shouted. “You!” He pointed to Platinum Star. “You can't run a large economy on a barter system, and you can't just pick and choose when government intervention happens!”

“Hah!” Babbidi smirked.

“And you!” Koloth turned on her. “Trickle-down economics is a pipe dream!”

“Oh...” Babbidi looked down.

“Thank you!” Trixie sighed. “Now, can we please get back to the part where my old coltfriend wants to blow up his new marefriend for some reason?”

“It's not to blow her up!” Praxis snapped. “We need to do this to get the attention we deserve! But blowing you up would be-”

“Pointless,” Trixie said. “Trixie is immortal, probably.” She said the last part under her breath. “Trixie has survived far worse than mere giant explosions.”

“It would still make me feel better,” Praxis mumbled.

It was right then that somepony burst into the room. A few ponies prostrated themselves as Princess Celestia walked in, Lucky Strike and Ingrid flanking her.

“It's the princess!” Praxis gasped.

Platinum narrowed her eyes. “No. It's an impostor.”

“I am far from an impostor, child.” Celestia said, looking down at them. “If you want to have a real discussion on political policy we can have it at the palace after you have surrendered yourselves to the best guard unit in Equestria. Or the ones who have been posted here, since they are closer. Now cease this foolish behavior at once or I will have to use alicorn death magic at you.”

“Definitely an impostor. Reveal yourself!” Platinum struck a pose and jumped onto the snack table to give herself some height.

“How does everypony always know?” Celestia grumbled before vanishing in a wash of green fire, replaced with Mandi's chitinous form.

“To be honest you're just rubbish at disguises,” Lucky said. “I told you it wouldn't work.”

“Shut up,” Mandi groaned.

The doors on the other side of the room burst open, and the remainder of Trixie's troops burst into the room, led by Durin. A few carried one very-embarrassed thestral on their shoulders like a conquering hero.

“Hold it right there!” Durin shouted. “Yer all under arrest!”

“Hah! And now you see how the system works!” Praxis shouted over the growing din. “They act like they want to be reasonable and while you're distracted with their sweet words they try to trick you and then use brute force when that fails!”

“Keep back! He has a bomb!” Babbidi yelled, halting Durin.

“That's right! I have a bomb!” Praxis looked down at himself, as if he'd forgotten the explosives had been there. “And I'm going to use it, too! Everypony back off!”

“It's obvious to me now,” Platinum Star said, tossing her mane dramatically. “There's only one way that I can get you to listen to me and remember what I've said.”

“By blowing them up!” Praxis surmised.

“No. I must defeat your leader in honorable single combat.” Platinum pointed a hoof at Trixie. “If I defeat an alicorn, it will prove the strength of my justice!”

“Weren't you the one arguing that raw power is an unfair method of determining right to rule?” Babbidi asked.

“Hah! As if you could defeat her!” Ingrid snorted. “She is a predator! I have taught her how to think and feel as a griffon, and you have no chance of beating her, for her heart beats with that strength!”

“Oh man this is gonna be good. Does anypony have popcorn?” Mandi looked around.

“Hold on, Trixie did not agree to this,” Trixie protested, as her soldiers started cheering her on and the unicorn nobility nodded with approval at the idea. “And why does everypony challenge Trixie to duels? Trixie only did that once and she regrets it!”

“It's definitely karma,” Babbidi replied.

“Maybe you can be the Princess of Being Forced Into Duels,” Koloth suggested.

“Trixie doesn't even have magic. Trixie can't just fight her with bare hooves!”

“Bare hooves is exactly how we will fight!” Platinum Star interjected. “It is the way true earth ponies fight! No magic, no flying, just the strength and endurance that comes with leading the hard and noble life of somepony who works with their hooves instead of cheating!”

Trixie glared at her. “You're stupid. This is stupid. I'm not going to-”

“Take this! Justice Kick!” Platinum Star jumped down at Trixie, a hoof smashing into her armored chest. To most ponies, the kick would have been a pretty solid one, maybe even enough to knock them out with a single blow.

Trixie, however, was getting distressingly used to being used as a punching bag, and Platinum Star's attack was pretty pathetic compared to the rib-shattering blows she'd suffered when she'd fought the Nightmare. Not only that, but as an alicorn, she was naturally much tougher than she had been as a mere unicorn.

Consequently, Platinum Star's kick didn't have quite the effect that the mare had hoped. Trixie hadn't even been knocked back an inch. Trixie raised an eyebrow and looked at her. The mare started to sweat, still frozen in her kicking pose as if she expected Trixie to fall over dramatically and explode.

Trixie calmly used a hoof to push Platinum's leg down, then stepped closer, looking the mare in the eyes. After a few uncomfortable moments the mare blinked.

Trixie slugged her on the jaw.

“W-what?!” Platinum was forced back a few paces, falling back into Praxis' hooves. “You hit me!”

“What's wrong with that? We're fighting! And with all the complaining you've been doing about alicorns Trixie thought you might need something real to complain about! All you seem to like to do is complain and make stupid speeches!”

“What?! I'm not that petty!” Platinum shrugged off Praxis' hooves and stepped forward. As she did, Trixie slapped her with the back of her hoof, striking her other cheek. Platinum groaned and stumbled to the side. “That's twice! Even my own father never hit me!”

“Then he was too easy on you,” Trixie said, looking down her nose at the mare. “You can't be a real hero like Trixie if you aren't willing to take a few lumps.”

“I'll show you lumps!” Platinum Star spun around, rapidly kicking at Trixie with a barrage of machine-like speed and precision. Trixie tried to get away, but took a painful kick to her snout.

“Trixie! Remember your CQC training!” Koloth shouted.

“What?! Trixie was never trained in that!” Trixie screamed, ducking under another wild kick from Platinum Star.

“Who was supposed to train her in that?” Koloth whispered back to the other officers.

“You were, sir,” Lucky replied.

“Damn.” Koloth coughed, raising his voice. “Trixie! Improvise!”

“You are terrible at giving advice!” Trixie screamed, before ducking and weaving. Platinum Star's attack faltered as Trixie stopped just trying to back away and pressed forwards with a low stance, shifting her weight from one side to the other and bobbing her head, her shoulders almost moving through a figure-eight as she got in Platinum's face.

Platinum kicked at Trixie but underestimated her motion, the kick missing her head and leaving her flank open as Trixie punched it, her hoof striking in a left hook with bone-crunching force. Platinum Star gasped as her armor crumpled, the light silver armor far less sturdy than what the actual guards wore.

“What in Tartarus was that?!” Koloth shouted. “I thought she didn't get any CQC training!”

“Neg,” Ingrid grinned, as much as a beak allows grinning. “But I did teach her some griffon combat drills as part of her flight training. That motion is supposed to strengthen one's core muscles and especially the wing base for high speed turns, aff? But on the ground it makes one almost impossible to hit, especially for somepony who has never fought a griffon.”

Platinum Star staggered away, her flank hitting the drink table as she lost her balance. It toppled over, Platinum going with it. The crystal punchbowl shattered as it hit the ground, bright red punch spilling across the marble floor.

“Platinum!” Praxis screamed, running to her side.

Trixie looked at her hoof. “Trixie didn't think she hit her that hard.”

Platinum struggled to her hooves. “Y-you took me off guard there.” She pushed Praxis away and reached back, unclipping a strap and letting her armor fall free. She cracked her neck. “I see I'm going to go all out if I want to really beat you.”

“...Look, Trixie is flattered, but while she appreciates that getting naked would undoubtedly help you against some opponents, Trixie is not in the mood.”

“This isn't just regular armor. It's weighted training armor.” Platinum took a deep breath then started moving, circling Trixie with more grace and speed than she'd shown before. “It weighs as much as a hundred standard reference pears, and without it, I'm much faster.”

“Is weighted- Koloth, is weighted training armor even a real thing?” Trixie looked back over her shoulder.

“No!” Koloth snorted.

“Trixie didn't think so.” She turned back to Platinum just in time to catch a hoof to the jaw that made her see stars. She fell back a step. “What was that?! She didn't have that much power before...”

“In fighting, speed is power,” Platinum said, narrowing her eyes. Her hoof flicked up again, a jab with a motion like flicking her wrist, three quick blows landing almost at the same time. There wasn't much strength behind them, but it left Trixie wide open as she instinctively tried to protect her right side, leaving her left open as Platinum spun into a roundhouse kick that knocked Trixie back onto her hind legs.

“Trixie!” Babbidi shouted. The alicorn's wings flipped out, her balance returning in an instant.

“I'll show you that pegasai and unicorns have their own weaknesses,” Platinum said, stepping quickly to the side and throwing a jab at Trixie's flank. Trixie's eyes went wide as her hoof impacted Trixie's wing, the blow far more painful than she expected. It almost went numb, Trixie escaping back and flapping the wing to try and stop the hurt.

“Oh, right...” Lucky muttered. “Trixie! Don't get hit in the wings! It really sucks!”

“TRIXIE KNOWS THAT NOW, THANK YOU!” Trixie shouted. Her night guards were literally the worst possible ponies at giving advice.

“If you were really a pegasus, that would have shattered the bones,” Platinum said, calmly. “They're fragile, they don't have any real endurance, and the wings make most of their body a weak spot.”

“Trixie is... far tougher than a mere pegasus,” she said, wincing as she folded the wing back to her side. “That's nothing compared to the time Trixie fought a giant magically-animated golem made of ooze!”

“Oh! Oh!” Babbidi raised a hoof. “She's talking about my Smooze creature! Yeah, I totally almost killed her with it.”

“This isn't the time, Babbidi,” Koloth muttered.

“If it's nothing then you won't mind a few more,” Platinum said, throwing out another flicker jab into Trixie's wing. Trixie squeaked with pain, the jab forcing the strangled sound out of her. She saw the next one coming and turned her body to avoid it, only to catch a hook to her other wing.

“Stop it!” Trixie groaned, trying to get away. Platinum Star kept at her comfortable range, faster on her hooves than Trixie was. Another flurry of jabs hit, striking her chin and wings, shifting targets every time she tried to block them, Platinum roaring as her blows fell faster and faster.

Trixie winced as another blow caught her wing. She had to find a way to counter the attack, but every time she got hit, the pain made her hesitate for a moment. She ducked in close to try and get within Platinum's longer reach, but just caught another blow from her hoof.

“Trixie! I told you not to get hit in the wings!” Lucky shouted. Trixie's eye twitched, but at the sound of his voice she had a sudden insight. She'd seen Lucky and Ingrid, ah, wrestling, and she'd gone after his wing. Instead of just trying to get out of the way, he'd used the strong muscles there to counter it.

Trixie guarded her face with a hoof and turned slightly, presenting a tempting target on her left side. Platinum predictably went for it, and just as she moved, Trixie extended her wing straight out, pushing the hoof aside and catching Platinum off balance.

In that fraction of a second, Trixie stepped in close, slamming her hoof into Platinum's face with enough force to send her sprawling. Her troops cheered, and Trixie stepped back, waiting for Platinum to get back up. The mare's mouth was bloody, her lip split, and she gave Trixie a glare as she stood.

“You're pretty strong, I admit, but as an agent of justice, I will never fall to a monster like you.” Platinum wiped the blood from her mouth with the back of her hoof and faced off against Trixie. “That was only a lucky shot.”

“It's not lucky. Trixie just isn't stupid.” Trixie smirked and shrugged her shoulders, loosening up. Then she got in close, bobbing and weaving as she had before, trying to catch Platinum from the side. To her surprise, as she bobbed, Platinum reared up, then came down. With too much momentum gained from moving her shoulders in such a tight circle, Trixie couldn't change direction, Platinum's hoof catching her right at the base of her horn.

Trixie gasped as everything went white. The next thing she knew, she was face-first down on the marble floor, and her head was pounding.

“Ugh...” She tried to stand, and everything was swimming around her. She failed twice before making it all the way back to her hooves.

“The unicorn horn is a source of weakness,” Platinum said, from somewhere. Trixie couldn't focus well enough to spot her, and her ears were ringing. “One good hit and even an alicorn is down for the count.”

“Come at Trixie when she can use magic and she'll show you what this horn can really do,” Trixie said, wincing at her own voice. Just talking was painful from the shots to her jaw and the growing headache she was developing.

“Give up. You can't beat me. You're so used to cheating that you don't stand a chance in a fair fight like this.”

“This is hardly a fair fight,” Trixie shook her head, clearing her vision enough that she could focus on Platinum Star. “Trixie is just humoring you with a barehooves brawl like this.”

“Humoring me.” Platinum frowned, growing genuinely angry, even more than she had when Trixie had hit her. “That's all the alicorns ever do. Humor us earth ponies and our quaint ways. We aren't upper-class enough to be treated like the unicorns, who control fashion and the media and the government. We aren't even good enough to be like the pegasai, who all but control the entire military and determine the weather schedule. The weather schedule that directly determines how well the earth ponies, who slave away in fields to feed Equestria, can do their jobs. They control us entirely and there's nothing we can do except this. We work with our hooves, and so we have to free ourselves from bondage with those same hooves.”

The speech gave Trixie time to recover. She looked between Platinum and Praxis. If she took down Platinum, would Praxis even hesitate before setting off the bomb strapped to his barrel? If she lost, though... the Great and Powerful Trixie just couldn't let herself lose to a mare like this.

“Trixie should warn you. She has only been fighting at... at... ten percent of her true power!” Trixie flared her wings out dramatically, pegasus magic making her cape billow dramatically. She had pulled the number completely out of her plothole, just like the plothole of why Celestia hasn't intervened yet.

“Ten percent?!” Platinum Star was taken aback.

“That's... right!” Trixie coughed. “Trixie has been holding back so much because she was afraid of hurting all of the others here!” She gestured to the hostages. “At full strength, the mere shockwave from Trixie's blows would put their lives in danger!”

“I am impressed,” Platinum Star admitted. “But this isn't my final form either!”

“Your- what?” Trixie blinked.

“Yes, I have a deep reservoir of power that I have locked away. I thought I wouldn't need to use it but it seems that I definitely will. Yes. Definitely.” A bead of sweat made its way down her face.

“...You're bluffing.” Trixie narrowed her eyes.

Platinum roared and charged. Trixie braced herself and turned a blow to her face aside with a quick turn of her head, rolling with the punch. As she moved, she swept her wing out and buffeted Platinum Star in the face with it, making her cough and sputter as down feathers got in her mouth. Trixie threw another punch, and depite the distraction, Platinum was just too fast, getting out of the way.

“You can't beat my instincts,” Platinum Star said. “I've been training for years for a fight like this.” Trixie frowned and watched her stance, looking for an opening. There wasn't one, and every time Trixie moved she felt Platinum watching her, like she was telegraphing her moves.

Then Trixie smirked. She couldn't beat the mare's instincts or her fighting skill. And like Platinum had accused, she wasn't good at a fair fight.

Trixie blinked and dropped her guard, freezing and looking to the side. Platinum couldn't stop herself. Her gaze was drawn like a magnet to follow Trixie's, to the side. Where there was nothing except the crowd watching them.

Then the hoof impacted her chin from below, and everything went black.

“Somepony check to make sure Trixie didn't kill her,” Trixie ordered, rubbing her hoof. She'd held back a little but she'd still hit her so hard the mare's jaw was probably broken.

“W-what was that?!” Praxis demanded. Trixie turned on him, looking down her nose at the crippled unicorn. Her injuries from the fight were already healing, blue magic crawling across her skin like rippling static, bruises vanishing in its wake.

“Your marefriend was right,” Trixie said. “Her instincts were incredibly sharp. It's how she was able to keep up with Trixie The Great and Powerful and Undefeated Champion of Equestria. But those instincts were her undoing!” Trixie smirked. “She was watching Trixie closely, so when Trixie looked away, she had to do the same. Her instincts forced her to look away, leaving herself open.”

“You tricked her!” Praxis shouted.

“Trixie beat her, bare hooved, just as she asked. Now since she said she was going to surrender, let's get rid of that bomb and you can go quietly to the dungeons.” Trixie held out a hoof for the bomb. Praxis looked down at Platinum and, sighing, took the alchemical rig off his back.

“It's just wrong... we try to do something good and, and you twist it around.” Praxis muttered. “We only lost because you cheated. It shouldn't count. It doesn't count! IT DOESN'T COUNT!” He grabbed the red cord and pulled.

“No!” Trixie shouted. As he pulled it, a thin glass vial shattered and released its contents into the arming chamber, alchemical components mixing inside the bomb casing. It started hissing and ticking like a living thing.

“WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!” Praxis shouted. “I WON'T LET YOU WIN!”

“Trixie, we have only seconds before it goes off!” Babbidi yelled. Trixie looked at her and nodded, a moment of clarity passing between them. She grabbed the bomb, shoving Praxis back, and spread her wings, taking off and shooting through the skylight above. As she cleared the anti-magic field of the museum, her wings started to spark with energy, and the bomb rumbled in her hooves.

Trixie threw it at hard as she could, but it was only scant feet away when it exploded into shrapnel and fire. Trixie felt something catch her wing, the feathers tearing and a bone breaking as she flapped wildly, the shockwave knocking her out of control.

Trixie screamed, closing her eyes. The ground was always trying to kill her. Sometimes it was sharp rocks, sometimes it was mud monsters, but today it was just gravity and cobblestones and it was still going to suck. The wind rushed past her and she impacted something warm and soft.

“Thou can open thy eyes. We have thou now.”

Trixie opened her eyes and looked into Luna's smiling face.

“We had great confidence that thou would be able to handle this situation on thy own.”

“Luna,” Trixie breathed, relaxing in her grip. “Trixie has been having a terrible night. They wouldn't stop talking about strawman economics.”

“Ah, I see,” Luna said, guiding her down for a landing. “What of the situation inside?”

“Things are handled, of course.” Trixie snorted. “But Luna, if Trixie could ask a favor?”

“Of course, Palatine.”

“Most of them got roped into it by the two leaders. Trixie would be grateful if you would show mercy to their foolish minions and perhaps only give them community service instead of throwing them in the dungeon.” She stumbled, suddenly tired, and Luna caught her.

“Of course, Palatine.” Luna hugged her abruptly, throwing a wing over her. “Thy plea for mercy shows great progress. In the past, thou would not have been so forgiving to thy enemies. It is a hard thing to learn, to forgive those that wrong you.”

“Trixie-” before Trixie could finish, Luna kissed her. She froze eyes opening wide, just as she was assailed by rapid strobes of light.

From all the cameras. Of all the reporters that had gathered once word of the hostage situation had gotten out. The reporters who were getting pictures of Luna kissing her. While her cloak was shredded from the explosion and her wings were on full display. A display that a pegasus would call rather lewd, but that was something that wasn't on Trixie's already-full mind at the moment.

She was going to be in a lot of trouble.

Al'Azhoof sighed and walked to her covered statue.

“Well, it appears my unveiling party was not quite as pleasant as I hoped, but perhaps as it is said, any press is good press.” She grabbed the edge of the dropcloth covering the statue with her teeth and pulled, revealing it.

The statue that she had donated to the museum, the piece that was the centerpiece of her exhibit, flapped its wings slowly. The white marble, shot through with veins of silver, was in the shape of a slim alicorn. It was illuminated with blue light from all sides emanating from unseen sources, and hung in the air without regard for gravity. While the face was only a suggestion of serene shapes, there was no mistaking the shape of the mane as anything but the young alicorn it resembled, even if the tiara on the statue didn't exist. Or at least, hadn't yet been forged.

Al'Azhoof smiled up at it.

“Perhaps I should rename it 'Great and Powerful'...”

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

Don't read the newspapers. They are all lying liars who lie and don't understand anything. Trixie definitely didn't kiss Princess Luna, and if somepony said she did they are mistaken.

Also Trixie definitely learned things about friendship like how you should always forgive ponies who are sorry especially when nothing they personally did was wrong, and if Trixie did do something wrong she would definitely be sorry about it and beg forgiveness.

Trixie hopes you'll be able to make it to the gala being held for Princess Celestia's vacation and, now, Trixie's introduction to the nobility. Celestia had the party repurposed so quickly and smoothly that ponies might think it was always meant to happen like this. Trixie admires her ability to improvise.

As an aside, Trixie also learned that she hates economic theory.

Yours,
Trixie Lulamoon

PS: Please don't send Trixie books on economic theory.