“Ah! Fraulein Finish!” A unicorn in an expensive sweater trotted forward, adjusted his glasses and bowed low. “A pleasure to run into you, as always!”
“Bah!” Photo Finish rolled her eyes from beneath her shades and spun from the two mares she was talking to. “Trenderhoof! I, Photo Finish, sought I shmelled somesink shtupid! Lass mich in Ruhe! Can't you see I am talkink up treasures of ze art magiks?”
“Why, Photo, you wound me!” Trenderhoof smiled, slicking his golden mane back as he squinted coyly at her. “I'm a big fan of your work! You know I would never do anything to harsh your genius buzz!”
“And yet here you are!” She spat. “Pollutink ze Paint Bucket vith your mundane sentences! Has ze unicorn vith a pocket comb written any amasink masterpieces yet? Trick kweshtion! He's right here, givink Photo Finish a migraine inshtead!”
The mares and stallions nearby chuckled.
Trenderhoof did as well. “Ohhhh, Photo. And after all I done for you...”
“Vas is zat?”
“Why, I wrote a five-part article for the first half of this year, praising your photography gallery while it was on tour in Fillydelphia and Las Pegasus!” Trenderhoof grinned. “I've always been a fan of your work—though the least can be said of your charm.” He winked, causing a few nearby mares to coo and giggle. “I would think that—after all this time—you'd finally welcome me in open hooves!”
“Ha!” Photo Finish tossed her mane and waved a hoof at him. “Vat do you taken sie Photo Finish for? Eine viltink fiolet that shwoons at ze meresht sight of your flafor safor?”
“Uhm...” Trenderhoof raised an eyebrow. “It's called a 'soul patch.'”
“Mist! It's called garbage! If you vant to impress an audience, go vith antikwity, not eternal youth! And as for your magazine drifel—I laugh at the notion! Hah! To sink zat mere vords could contain ze pure magiks zat come from meine fotografie!” Photo Finish gestured dramatically. “Photo Finish has a masterpiece zat she has yet to unfeil, and to sink zat lofe-stricken shtallions like you seek to undermine it with bland paragraphs and paper moons...!”
“You misunderstand me, Fraulein Finish.” Trenderhoof bowed again. “I'm not against you. We're in this together!” He smiled and gestured through the brightly-lit apartment. “Think of us as... a dynamic duo of art avengers, on a quest to illuminate the minds of the world to the beauty of art and expression!”
“Hah! I, Photo Finish, team up vith you?!” Nearby ponies chuckled as she pretended to faint. “Liebe Güte! The shtallion is getting desperate if he sinks he can vin meine heart so easily!”
“Ha ha... no.” Trenderhoof chuckled. “I would no more attempt winning the affections of you than I would date my own cousin. I see us as long lost siblings of an art world that is slowly dying.”
“Ach. Es ist sehr traurig...” Photo yoinked a champagne glass off a random waiter's tray and downed it in one gulp. She teetered slightly, her shades glazed over with a melancholic sheen. “Photo Finish undershtands zat last sentiment.” She gestured with the empty glass. “Where have all ze geniuses gone? Ze weight of ze art vorld is too... too much for Photo Finish's schoulders alone. All around me zere is nosing but brightly colored pulp and decay. Nopony truly appreschiates deep meanink and class anymore. All is death and laziness wif nosink to schow for it but soup and cereal adfertisements!”
“My thoughts and feelings exactly,” Trenderhoof said. “Which is why I came to greet you personally! And wish you the best in your endeavors. If my articles can't bring ponies to the light of your artistic majesty, Fraulein Finish, then perhaps your sincerity at parties such as this can better persuade those around you.”
“Hmmmmm...” Photo rubbed her chin. “Das ist toll!” She smirked slightly. “Perhaps Photo Finish vas wrong about you, Trenderhoof. You know, in zese days, it's so easy to feel as if vone is alone in zis feculent climb!”
“Hmmm... indeed.” Trenderhoof sighed. “Alas, where you seek artistic nirvana, I seek something that I doubt I will ever find.”
“Oh?”
“But, y'know, it's okay,” Trenderfoor said with a thin smile. “If fate has me destined to be a lone wandering stallion for eternity, then so be it.” His sparkling eyes wandered across the party scene. “And yet, I can't help but wonder if someday... somehow... I finally get to meet... … … her...”
Down below, Vinyl Scratch was watching Photo Finish from her DJ booth. She clenched her jaw, then glanced over to where Rainbow Dash was still fumbling several spots away.
The musician tapped her chin. Then, with a mischievous grin, she pumped up the volume of the music. The speakers across the Paint Bucket Flat boomed and boomed louder. Vinyl licked her lips, then aimed her horn at the glass-bottom platform right above Photo Finish. With careful timing, Vinyl waited for a bright flash of party lights, then shot a beam of magic straight up.
It expertly bounced off the overhanging platform, ricocheted across two support beams, and shot its way straight down towards Photo's figure.
When the magic beam struck, it instantly threw Photo off balance.
“Ach je!” Photo flailed, dropping her champagne glass as she plummeted wildly toward the far end of the platform on limp legs. The crowd parted ways, gasping. “Vere has gravity gone?!”
“Photo!” Trenderhoof gasped, lunging for her. “Hold on! I'll catch you—”
At precisely that same time.
“—please, I would stomp on puppies just to get a modeling session with you!” a fashionable mare cooed with sparkling eyes. “You must tell me your name!”
“Uhhhhh... I can't... b-because...” Rainbow cleared her throat. “I'm tr-trying to make a statement on ponies who are unlucky enough to be foaled without names. How... er... ty-typical of you name-centric titlelists to be ignorant of the blank flank'd masses who can't—”
“Photo! Hold on! I'll catch you!”
“Huh?” Rainbow Dash glanced over, and her eyes twitched. “Luna's nipple!” Air bursting, she rocketed over in a silver streak. Before any of the ponies around her could register their own gasps, she had skidded to a stop and stretched a wing out to gracefully catch Photo's body before the mare could fall.
“Guh!” Photo landed safely in the cushion of Rainbow's feathers. “Unnngh...” She wiped a hoof across her blue brow, wincing. “Vat just happened? Did ze vorld just krap itself?”
“Photo!” Trenderhoof leaned against the platform's railing in a breathless state. “Are you okay?”
Several stallions in suits galloped up. “Miss Finish! What's wrong?”
“Bah! Nothink is wrong!” Photo stood up, brushing her wildly patterned gown off. “And Photo Finish certainly doesn't need you makink a loud noise over nothink!” She upturned her nose. “As a matter of fact, zis fine mare saved meine fall!” She turned and curtsied. “Danke, fraulein—” She gasped, her shades nearly falling off her head. “Es ist so gut...”
Rainbow Dash stood in her sparkly gown. She adjusted her hairband and blinked with ruby eyes that glistened in the party lights. “Uhhhh...”
“Ja...” Photo Finish stifled a whimper. “Ja... like blood moons over a necrotic sea of deathly beauty!” She leaned forward. “Are you wrapped in pure silfer? It's like moondust being poured before meine eyes!”
“It... uhm...” Rainbow glanced down over the balcony's edge. A white unicorn pumped her hoof with a proud smile. “Ahem.” She stood up straight, pretending to squint haughtily towards the ceiling. “It's simply something that the most underrated fashionista in all of Equestria put together.”
“Oh, I must know who zis veafer of mashterpieces is!”
“Rarity from Carousel Boutique.”
“Ah...” Photo fiddled with her white bangs. “I... can't say zat ze name shtrikes any bells...”
“That's... to be expected.” Rainbow pretended to examine her purse. “Not everypony is cultured enough to know the sheer awesomeness that is Rarity. But, that's all well and fine.” She curtsied awkwardly, but recovered from it. “It was nice selflessly saving your life and all, but I best be going—”
“Nein! Nein!” Photo jerked so that she stood in front of Rainbow. “Please! I must know more! Talken sie to Photo Finish! Tell me your name, fraulein!”
“Uhhhh...” Rainbow suddenly gulped. “My name. Uhm... Uhhhhh...” She glanced left. She glanced right.
A mare giggled nearby as she talked with a stallion. One of several metal insects studded the collar of her blouse.
“Firefly!” Rainbow turned to grin at Photo. “My name is... erm... Madame Firefly... of Awesometopia.”
“Awesometopia...” Photo grinned. “Wunderbar.” She grasped Rainbow's hoof and led her back towards her cluster of associates. “You must tellen sie me all about zis Carousel Boutique! I've nefer seen anysink quite so imaginative and beautiful!”
Not too far away, Trenderhoof was staring... and staring and staring and staring and staring.
“Neither... h-have I...” the stallion murmured, his rosy eyes turning even rosier as his jaw dropped to the floor.