//------------------------------//
// 1. 
// Story: 8-Bit Pony 
// by Dawn Flower 
//------------------------------//

“Y’know what we should do?” Fighter said to Black Mage as he walked away from the job request board.

“Oh, this’ll be good. What? What should we do?” Back Mage responded as he walked away towards the forest, to put as much distance between himself and the mud town that they were currently at (and possibly Fighter) as fast as possible.

Fighter answered while he caught up with Black Mage. “We never did find that Armor of Invincibility…”

Black Mage suddenly stopped in his tracks at the edge of the forest as Fighter finished speaking. For several seconds, Black Mage just stood there in silence, looking down at the ground. Fighter caught up with him soon and stopped just behind him.

“Oh Gods, not this again.” Black Mage facepalmed. After a beat, he turned around to face Fighter. “I thought we were long passed this stupid plot point.”

Black Mage then raised both arms into the air in a hammy tone. “Since when do we even have a sense of continuity anyway? Everyone knows that it’s entirely superfluous and serves no useful purpose.

“Besides, didn’t you already find the stupid Armor of Invincibility ages ago and subsequently forget about it.” Black Mage concluded, lowering his arms again.

“Silly, Black Mage,” Fighter responded in a tone of blissful ignorance. “That was the Armoire of Invincibility, not the Armor of Invincibility. Who would possibly be stupid enough to confuse two radically different things?”

*Beat*

“Besides, you can’t wear an Armoire.” Fighter spoke up again, tilting his head down as if in contemplation. “It’s way too big.” He looked up again. “And heavy. And there aren’t any sleeve or neck holds.”

Black Mage simply stared back at Fighter for several seconds, having been struck temporarily speechless by his stupidity.

“But that’s not… You didn’t…” Black Mage stuttered. He then brought his hand to his head to try and stop his brain from herniating itself.

A moment later, he turned to address Fighter again. "Y’know, that was my fault. I should know better than anyone at this point that trying to apply logic to you is like trying to walk by an orphanage without burning it to the ground with a fire spell and killing everyone inside.”

He then turned around, but continued speaking, placing his hands together as if he were casting a spell. “Watching the fire melt half of them, while the others are crushed to death by the weakened structural integrity of the building. ‘Why would the Gods be so cruel to us after we lost our parents?’ they’d say. ‘Don’t worry, you’ll see them again soon’ I’d tell them.”

“You done?” Fighter asked.

“For now.” Black Mage responded.