//------------------------------// // Episode 30: New Players // Story: Harpflank and Sweets: The Lost Episodes // by Supersheep64 //------------------------------// HARPFLANK AND SWEETS   Created by Arcainum Written by Supersheep64     Opening Titles    Metropony City! Mighty skyscrapers towering over the millions of ponies going about their lives on the streets below! Working, playing or just taking in the weather, Metropony bustles as only the big city can. But! All is not well in this equine metropolis! Below the streets lies a threat - a threat to the happiness and friendship of good ponies everywhere! And the name of that threat is Luna, the exiled Princess who has returned with vengeance in her eyes! With the aid of Her villainous helper Trixie and her army of terrible Lunatrons, She will stop at nothing to destroy the pony way of life! Standing against her, however, are two heroic mares, known only to the citizens of Metropony as...   HARPFLANK AND SWEETS: EPISODE 30 – NEW PLAYERS   Scene 1   “TRIXIE, ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THAT YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA HOW THIS HAPPENED?”   Trixie swallowed a rising knot of concern that was awkwardly lodged in her chest.   “Yes, my lady… The defence systems show absolutely no trace of the intruder, and your own magical concealments should have made it impossible for anypony to even suspect-“   “YOU PRESUME TO SHIFT THE BLAME ONTO MY ABILITIES?”   Luna shifted in her throne, smiling in malicious amusement at how her underling flinched as she spoke.   “PERHAPS YOU HAVE NOT LEARNED THE SUBTLE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TREADING ON THIN ICE AND DIVING HEADFIRST AT IT FROM CONSIDERABLE HEIGHT.”   Trixie’s eye twitched nervously as she began to sweat in a manner unbecoming a pony of her magnificence.   “I meant no such thing, Your Highness! I-I was merely pointing out that with the sheer number of safeguards and illusions we’ve put in place-“   “WHEN WE BUILT THIS SECRET HEADQUARTERS, YOU DID ASSURE ME THAT IT WOULD ALWAYS REMAIN JUST THAT - A SECRET.”   Luna rested royal head on regal hoof, her evil magnetism demanding respect and attention even when apparently bored.   “YOU THEN WENT ON TO SAY THAT EVEN IF IT WERE TO BE DISCOVERED, ANY ASSAULT OR INFILTRATION WOULD END IN THE PERPETRATOR BEING REDUCED TO ROASTED PILES OF ASHEN CHUNKS.”   Trixie could see where this was going. She didn’t like it.   “YET TODAY, YOU COME HERE TELLING ME THAT OUR ADVERSARIES HAVE NOT ONLY DISCOVERED US, BUT SNEAKED PAST ALL OUR DEFENCES AND HACKED YOUR SYSTEMS FOR EVERY PIECE OF RESEARCH YOU HAVE THUS FAR COMMITTED TO MY CAUSE.”             Luna levitated over a glass of aged lunar wine and paused to take a very long, deliberate drink. The silence only served to unnerve Trixie more, giving her plenty of time to suffer in the suppressive atmosphere. Luna set the wine glass on the arm of her throne, idly running her hoof around the rim.   “NOW, I ASK YOU AGAIN - AND THIS TIME THINK VERY CAREFULLY BEFORE ANSWERING.”   She looked at Trixie the same way you would a spider desperately scrabbling at the sides of a bathtub.   “ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW THIS HAPPENED?”   If she were a lesser pony, Trixie would have cried.   “I can only assume that they have discovered some new technology I have not yet had the chance to master. B-but I assure my lady that this setback will not save those fools from my current plan!”   Luna was like a statue.   “FOR YOUR SAKE, I HOPE SO, TRIXIE.”   Luna drank the last few drops of wine, levitating the crystal glass over to a grovelling henchpony who wisely vacated her Highness’s presence at a respectable velocity.   “YOU WENT TO CONSIDERABLE FINANCIAL TROUBLE TO DISABLE THEIR INFERNAL NANOTECHNOLOGY LAST WEEK. IT WOULD BE A SHAME IF SOMETHING WERE TO KEEP YOU FROM CAPITALISING ON THIS OPPORTUNITY…”   Her expression slipped into one of weary recollection.   “…LIKE WHAT HAS SEEMED TO HAPPEN TO A CONSIDERABLE NUMBER OF OPPORTUNITIES PREVIOUSLY.”   Sensing the worst was over; Trixie respectfully rose to her hooves.   “Do not worry, my lady. Without their fancy suits, Harpflank and Sweets meagre abilities are no match for my genius, no matter what information they may have!”   “WE SHALL SEE, TRIXIE. NOT THAT YOU DON’T INSPIRE CONFIDENCE, BUT I’M SURE YOU’LL FORGIVE ME IF I WITHOLD MY ENTHUSIASM.”   Luna waved a hoof, signalling for Trixie to take her leave. In the considerable vastness of Luna’s inner sanctum, her valiantly retreating form was like a particularly proud blue and purple dot navigating its way through a sea of imposing metal.   Crouched somewhere in the room’s innumerable shadows, another purple shape followed her progress through blank goggles. As Trixie waited impatiently for the colossal door to rise, the intruder disappeared from its perch, unseen and unheard by the multitude of henchponies traversing the catwalks below.   As she walked down the base’s darkened corridors, Trixie could hardly be blamed for failing to notice an extra shadow trailing in her wake.   Scene 2   “Come one, come all! Roll up and see science in action! We leave no ion uncharged, no element unbonded, no boson undiscovered and nopony unenlightened!”   Sunlight gleamed off a polished megaphone, leaving a hearty gleam in the eyes of the portly stallion wielding it. A chuckle in his heart and a vibrato to his tone, the spokespony reared back, encompassing the scene behind him with a dramatic sweep of his hoof. “That’s right, little ponies! It’s at last time for the annual Metropony science expo!”   As far as the eye could see, colorful tents and elaborate contraptions were being set up, excitement flowing in the air as crowds of frenzied ponies flooded from attraction to attraction in a state of scientific ecstasy. In the very center of the expo a giant model of the solar system hung, suspended by magic and orbiting around a brightly glowing artificial sun. Radiating from the centerpiece in circles were dozens of erected stages for demonstrations from the greatest scientists of the age.   Bon-Bon was almost overcome at the spectacle, memories flooding back of her foalhood days exploring the wonders of science in years past. Pulled along in the current of the crowd, Bon-Bon gazed in awe at the sights, sounds and smells crammed into every available space. Everywhere you looked - Tesla coils sparked, test tubes bubbled, lasers beamed and Bunsen burners roared sapphire flames into the sky… admittedly all for more aesthetic value than any actual scientific purpose.   No matter the age of the pony, the expo was just as much a local holiday as it was a demonstration of scientific advancement. Given the prestige, Vinyl would have killed to set up an ExTech tent there were it not for that whole pesky ‘top secret’ nature of their work holding her back.   Bon-Bon took a seat at a periodic table and gleefully bit into her Newton’s candy apple, overwhelmed at the sheer magnitude of science on display. On his high pedestal, the moustached spokespony continued to rouse the teeming throng with his enhanced voice.   “Yes, gather round to see the advancements in magical theory that makes exploding twice finally possible! Learn the simple process that renders ordinary chocolate milk dangerously volatile! And let me tell you, buddy, check out our shocking new universal theories and you’ll never look at dark matter in quite the same way ever again!” A pegasus fluttered up and whispered something urgently in his ear.   “What do you mean we don’t know where all the dark matter is?! Where did you last leave it?”   Giggling like a schoolfilly, Bon-Bon turned back to the seat opposite her.   “I can’t believe how big it is this year! Half of Metropony must have gathered for the expo! Do you think maybe-” Bon-Bon blinked and trailed off as she realized the other seat was empty.   “Oh…. Right.”   Scene 3   “Come on, BB, you drag me to that dumb expo every year! You know I hate all that technical stuff!”   Bon-Bon frowned, trying to get Lyra to look her in the eyes.   “But I’ve gone to the Metropony Science Expo every year since the day I turned 3 years old! And you absolutely loved it when we went last year! You got into a fight with that theoretical biologist, remember?”   Lyra smirked a little.   “His views on bipedal evolution were way off.”   Lyra leapt onto the top of nearby street lamp as plasma fire raked the ground where she just was, leaving a burning trail of molten tarmac. Not stopping for breath, the suited pony leapt again as a giant metallic hoof crushed the lamp like a splintering toothpick.   “Don’t ignore Trixie whilst she’s trying to destroy you!”   The colossal robot pulsed with electricity, emitting EMP bursts that rendered their nanomachines useless. It swung a hoof at a taunting Lyra where she hung from an open windowsill, only to get a face-full of dislodged masonry for its trouble.   Bon-Bon poked her head out of cover behind a smashed storefront and unerringly shattered the Lunatron’s optic sensors with her grappling hook.   “Do you mind? This is a private conversation!”   The rope mechanism whirred into life, yanking Bon-Bon towards the hulking creation with brutal haste. The Lunatron’s hardened shell crumpled around her hoof like soggy cardboard as she punched it into the side of a building.   “NOO! Curse you Harpflank and Swe-Arrgh!”   Bon-Bon jumped free as the robotic head exploded behind her.     Scene 4   Bon-Bon jumped out of her seat as the table exploded in front of her. Rolling into her combat stance, she turned to seek out whatever assailant had discerned her identity.   “Oh geeze, I got it, I got it!”   A little yellow filly ran up and dowsed the molten plastic of the former table in foam from a fire extinguisher.   “Ah’m real sorry, miss! Ah told Scootaloo there was way too much Fos-fur-us in that thing!”   Bon-Bon relaxed her aggressive posture as two more fillies excitedly ran up to join the first.   “Applebloom! Did it work?”   The first pony spat out the extinguisher and pointed a deadpan hoof at the foamy, misshapen remains of the table.   “What do you think?”   The third, a unicorn, scrunched up her face and gave a hesitant response.   “I guess we’re not cut out to be Cutie Mark Crusaders Firework Forgers either...”   Bon-Bon frowned and strenuously detached her candy apple from where it had become fused to the side of her face. The orange one, who she guessed must be Scootaloo, sat down and entered into a state of angry pouting. “Urgh! I told you this science stuff would get us nowhere, Sweetie! We gotta try something cool if we wanna earn our cutie marks!”   Sweetie and Applebloom turned back to Bon-Bon, looking up at her with sad, apologetic eyes. “We’re real sorry miss, we promise never to mess around with science again.” For a moment, Bon-Bon could see a different filly sitting in their place. One with blue and pink hair, who had never stopped coming back to this place and the memories it held. She thought of a life if she hadn’t had that childlike wonder to fall back on, of a childhood filled with only boring magic. Bon-Bon’s irritation faded and she felt her heart melt a little. “Hey, it’s okay. Look around you, none of the science we have today would be possible without the scientists who discovered it getting up from their failures and causing a little collateral damage once in a while.” She thought back to some of the fallout from Vinyl’s more ‘ambitious’ designs. “... or sometimes a lot of collateral damage.” The three fillies looked up at her with equal parts relief and confusion. Sensing she was losing their interest, Bon-Bon tried to think of a way to get her point across. “Look, I may not be an expert, but I don’t think you should give up on science so easily. Even if it’s not your talent in itself, science is a tool that can open so many other doors for you.” Sweetie Belle’s eyes lit up with understanding. “And behind one of those doors could be our cutie marks!” Applebloom rubbed her chin with renewed inspiration. “Y’know, ah always did like makin’ stuff! Maybe ah could make us some gadgets to help our crusadin’!” Scootaloo grinned evilly. “Or at the very least, we could get to blow some more things up!” As the trio turned to leave, Applebloom waved over her shoulder at a very satisfied Bon-Bon. “Thanks for the advice, miss! We’re gonna be the best scientists ever!” “Yeah! A field of expertise where causing collateral damage is a good thing? It’s like it was made for us!” As they disappeared around a corner Bon-Bon could vaguely hear Sweetie Belle beginning their new plans for the future. “So where are we gonna do all these experiments anyway?” “Ah know a pretty good place we could make a secret lair!” “I’m liking this idea!” Bon-Bon watched them until they were out of sight, chuckling at their harmless machinations with a warm glow in her heart. As much as Lyra may love the violence and daring acts, Bon-Bon had often told her that it was these little ways of inspiring others or just subtly making the world a better place that was the best part of the job. Seeing as she wasn’t here, this was just another wasted opportunity to prove that point. Bon-Bon sighed as her thoughts returned to the same depressing avenues she’d been briefly distracted from. As great as the expo was, it just wasn’t the same without Lyra to share it with. Yes, Lyra was her own mare, and they spent so much time together that Bon-Bon could hardly blame her for wanting some alone time but… Surely she hadn’t forgotten the reason why today was so important? ….Had she? Now thoroughly jaded to the delights around her, Bon-Bon turned away from the ex-table and lost herself in the crowd.     Scene 5   In a tent lined with unknowable gadgetry, a wild-haired earth pony stood in front of a small crowd of onlookers. Turning, he pulled his hooves out of the slots on his machine, faint vestiges of magic continuing to linger on the tips. The stallion smiled widely at his captive audience as he undid the latch on top of the small machine, pulling out a canister of glowing liquid. “I know it sounds crazy, but with my Magical Compression Device, it has become possible to infuse regular water with Earth pony magic and vastly speed up the growth of any plant life.” In the front row of the small crowd, Rose gazed with skepticism at the stunted sapling planted in the dirt before her. Her two companions, Lily and Daisy showed similar signs of disbelief at the claims of the white-maned scientist before them. Undeterred, he poured the sparkling mixture into the soil, quickly stepping back to observe the results. Magical energy arced over the plant and the wilted leaves began to twitch and convulse, gaining pressure like a geyser about to erupt. “And as you will soon see, the more magic we infuse, the greater the results!” Outside, ponies paused in shock as a mighty tree tore its way through the top of the tent and showered them with a hail of leaves and acorns. The stunned scientist frowned at the gaping hole in the roof. “… Maybe too much magic.” Rose struggled to pull her jaw off the floor. Next to her, her friends’ eyes sparkled with imagined gold as they thought through the possibilities. In unison, the two mares leapt forward and grabbed the scientist by the lab coat. “Howmuchhowmuchhowmuchhowmuch?!”   He stumbled back, pupils shrinking in fright. “Uh, this is an experimental device... It needs a lot more testing before it becomes commercially available…” The poor stallion wiped his brow as the disappointed ponies backed off. Rose shook her head at their shenanigans. No matter how many life-or-death experiences they went through, her friends would never learn their lesson. Rose flinched as something hit the ground in front of her and buried itself in the soft soil. It was a golf ball. “What the…?” There was a crashing of leaves and branches as a club-bearing pegasus tore through the new canopy and into a sudden landing. “Sorry, sorry! I’ll just get this back onto the green, and I’ll be out of your manes!” The scientist blinked in incomprehension. “But… There are no golf courses in Metropony city.” The sporty intruder shook her curly blonde locks and laughed. “I know that, silly! Why do you think I’m a couple’a hundred shots over par?” It seemed the strange pony herself wasn’t so sure what sport she was playing, seeing as how she was wearing shin-pads, ice-skates, a single boxing glove, a bowling jacket and a novelty drinking hat that barely fit over her poofy coiffure. “You came from a different city?” She shrugged and scratched her head absently. “In hindsight I may have taken this game a teensy bit too far - But hey, seeing as I’m already here, I might as well pick up a souvenir, right?” Though none present had seen her move, the eccentric creature was now trying to cram her golf bag full of all the metallic hardware and scientific paraphernalia she could find. “Stop, that is very dangerous equipment! You have no idea what it could do!” The pegasus laughed again, this time with a more sinister tone that set the fur on the back of Rose’s neck aquiver. With a sense honed through countless instances of peril, she grabbed her two friends and began to slowly back out of the tent. “Gee, for a scientist, you sure are stupid!” She pulled a grime-encrusted nozzle out of the golf bag, holding it resolute in front of her as she hovered off the ground. “This is me robbing you, silly.” The remaining crowd fled in terror as crimson flame spewed forth from the tool in her hooves and engulfed the newly-birthed tree. The elderly scientist squealed like a little filly and, tangled mane aflame, galloped away as fast he could. Wicked shadows dancing across her face, the maniacal pegasus swiveled round, burning everything she could see. Suitably satisfied by her destruction, she lifted the Magic Compression Device from the one table not turned to charcoal. “Now the fun begins!” With a reluctance befitting its short lifespan, the incinerated tree tore the burning tent asunder as it toppled into the screaming crowd outside. Scene 6   Bon-Bon woke from her funk at the sound of screams. Banishing the dark thoughts to the back of her mind, she looked up and spotted a stream of smoke spreading across the sky like an infection. Her eyes widened with short-lived shock, giving way to anger. “Not today.” Fighting the stream of fleeing ponies, Bon-Bon galloped towards the base of the smoke pillar. In the blink of an eye, she disappeared behind a stage labelled ‘The Wonders of Geothermal Energy!’ A few seconds later a different pony appeared on the other side. ------------   “Mommy? Where are you?” The lost colt stumbled through the endless flurry of stampeding hooves, bashed around by the weight of bodies too large to see the child in their midst. Somepony collided with him and he hit the dirt, coughing on the smoky air as he tried to rise to his hooves. He froze at the sound of breaking wood, turning to face the source of the sound. Eyes watering from the smoke, he could only close his eyes as a blazing tree descended on him like an executioner's axe. Like a gust of wind, Bon-Bon swept through the crowd, darting around anypony in her way. She grabbed the kid’s tail in her teeth, yanking him from certain death and hurling him onto her back, where he clung on like a fuzzy brown limpet. Bon-Bon charged the ring of flames, performing a leaping tackle on a model of DNA structure. As the structure toppled, Bon-Bon leapt from pole to pole, racing the rising flames to the top. The tower splintered on impact, disintegrating into wooden bases and phosphates as Bon-Bon rolled free, cradling the young foal close to her chest. The colt looked up at her in awe as she brushed ash and embers from her costume, standing tall. “You’re... You’re…” He was interrupted by the call of his mother, rushing in to sweep him off his hooves and into a crushing hug. Blinking in post-shock, the colt tried to turn back to his savior, but she had vanished like a ghost. Scene 7   Surprise flew high above the burning expo, scorching everything she saw like an angel of death. “Yes! With this, I herald the beginning of the end for Metropony City! Soon everypony will see the truth, and my time will at last come! Muhahaahaha-ack-tpth!” She doubled over a in a fit of coughing and wheezing before wearily rubbing her throat. “Oh man, there’s a lot of smoke up here.” “Well get used to it, villain, because when I’m through with you, you’re the one who’s going down in flames!” A voice cut through the haze like a knife. Ears pricked up, Surprise spun in place and there, poised dramatically atop the model sun stood... “Harpflank and Sweets, finally!” Bon-Bon blinked. That wasn’t the reception she’d been expecting. “I’ve been waiting, like, five minutes for you guys to show u-“ For a moment, Surprise just hung there, mouth frozen open. Then she folded her forelegs, looking thoroughly displeased. “Where’s the other one?” “Excuse me?” “Don’t kid around with me, I know that there’s two heroes on this show! What, just because I don’t have a giant robot I only get the lame half of the dynamic duo?” Bon-Bon flinched a little. “L-lame? I’m just as good as Ly - Harpflank!” “Uh-uh. Sure.” Surprise dropped her extremely unconvinced visage and shrugged. “Well you’re here now, so I guess I’ll make do.” Bon-Bon shook off the insult and dropped back into her combat stance, realizing the lunatic’s bizarre motive. “You were waiting for me? So you did all this just to - what? Get my attention?” Surprise giggled and did a little backflip. “Well duh! You’re in a rut, girl! And this is an intervention!” Bon-Bon’s face made quite clear what she thought of this idea. “Now hear me out. You and your… Disappointingly absent companion are the crux on which order and security hinges here in Metropony City. Therefore, I have to target you to cure this city of its stagnation! Ponies here live in the space between fear and boredom, forced into reliance on an unending cycle of conflict that consumes their every waking moment!” Bon-Bon rolled her eyes. “So, you’re going to try and stop the endless cycle of destruction by causing more destruction. Well, that makes perfect sense.” “Pfft, heck no! Destruction is awesome! I’m complaining about how ponies have to live, certain that another week is going to result in more of the same! Trust me, it’s only by having no idea what comes next can we truly be alive! The rush, the thrill, the shock! The excitement of something you’ve never seen before! It’s what I live for!” Bon-Bon stared askance as her adversary ‘paced’ back and forth in midair. “Yet, thanks to you, every week it’s the same routine! Big robot shows up, you smash it, everything goes back to normal. It’s so.... Predictable.” She lowered her voice, speech dripping with revulsion. “I hate predictable.” Bon-Bon had had enough of this nutcase. Her hoof slipped into her saddlebag as she yelled out, whole body blurring with movement. “Then you should love this!” Her hoof snapped forward, flinging an unprimed grenade faster than the eye could see. Slicing through the air, it jammed deep into the barrel of Surprise’s flamethrower like a square peg hammered into a round hole, keeping the ignited gas from escaping the weapon. “Eeep!” With nowhere to go, the flame shot back along the pipe into the fuel tank. Frantically, Surprise flung away the weapon moments before it exploded, wreathing the crazed pegasus in a cloud of filthy smog. Before she could even wipe the grime from her eyes, Bon-Bon leaped out of the smoke like a vengeful phoenix, tackling Surprise right out of the air. “You picked the wrong day to get on my bad side!” Falling through the model solar system, the two ponies bounced off the surface of Venus, grappling in mid-air. Unfortunately, being an Earth pony, Bon-Bon had no means of leverage to bring to bear against Surprise's wings, which resulted in the lunatic violently dislodging her with an impossibly contorting corkscrew maneuver that must have required the dislocation of several major bone joints to perform. Bon-Bon felt all the wind blown out of her as she slammed into Saturn‘s surface. With a sound of breaking enchantment, the fake planet fell out of its orbit and began rolling along the ground, bowling over everything in its path. Bon-Bon broke into a gallop, fighting against the momentum of the ball in order to keep up the runaway balancing act that kept her from being squished as the planet rolled off into the crowded stalls and stages of the Expo. Surprise came out of her corkscrew, grinning at the destruction she caused. Floating down, she grabbed hold of saturn's rings, still floating around the faux sun even in the absence of their long-time planetary partner. Pivoting in place, she began to spin faster and faster like a discus hurler, gathering momentum. “Not bad Sweets, but mine’s bigger!” Bon-Bon’s eyes widened in shock as Surprise let go, sending the circular disc hurtling towards her. She leapt off the runaway planet and hit the ground rolling moments before the rings sliced it clean in half. Leaving no time to think, Surprise dived straight at her, hoof drawing back to strike. Bon-Bon stood, reaching into her utility bags again to retaliate. She never got the chance however, as Surprise took the opportunity to use some gadgets of her own. The single boxing glove morphed and shifted around its owner’s hoof as thrusters emerged from the base and the soft fabric tore apart to reveal harsh metal. Thrusters flared, blitzing Surprise across the remaining distance at twice the speed.   Left with no time to dodge, Bon-Bon flung up her forehooves in a last-ditch defense. “Surprise Rocket Punch!” Time seemed to slow down as a shockwave radiated out from the point of impact, blowing out all the flames in the vicinity. Bon-Bon’s rear hooves dug into the ground and she gritted her teeth as her inequine strength and endurance grinded against the incredible force pressing down on her. Impossibly, she held her ground, absorbing every last newton of force without breaking under the pressure. “Secondary Ignition... Activate!” “Oh boy…” Flaps flared out, letting the flames double in size. The blazing fist blasted itself off Surprise’s leg, knocking Bon-Bon clean off her hooves before blazing a trail across the ruined expo like a pint-sized meteor. The rocket punched a hole in the side of the chemistry pavilion, flinging its passenger straight through several desks and tables. Bon-Bon hit the ground as the rocket fist exploded, smashing every test tube and beaker into a rain of glass and chemicals. As the smoke cleared, Bon-Bon limped out of the smashed wall, dripping with nitric acid. She watched as Surprise floated down, slack-jawed in front of her. “What.” Bon-bon glared at her. “Seriously?! What the hay are you made out of? You should be melting right now!” Bon-Bon decided not to mention that even her old suit was built to resist corrosive substances. This was hardly the first time she’d been dunked in acid. She wouldn’t be caught unprepared. “Oh, what? Giving me the silent treatment?” Surprise frowned. “Well fine, if you’re gonna be like that, I’ll just leave.” “No you won’t.” Bon-Bon whipped out the net-gun she’d been hiding under the pretense of a limp, ropes blasting out and binding Surprise from head to tail. Surprise fell like a sack of potatoes, too stunned to mount a defense. “That’s it?!” Surprise inquired furiously. She twisted around to face a now thoroughly amused Bon-Bon. “I hit you with a rocket, dowse you with acid, hurl Saturn’s rings, burn this place to the ground, and the best you can do is trap me in a net?!!” Bon-Bon looked down her nose at her. “Can you get out of the net?” Surprise struggled for a moment. “….No.” Bon-bon grinned slyly. “Then that means I win, now doesn’t it?” Surprise blinked. Oddly enough, her expression morphed into something approaching respect. “Sweets, you've shattered every expectation I had of you.” She broke out in a sinister grin. “You’re everything that I could have hoped for.” Bon-Bon’s good humor evaporated. For a moment, she’d gotten so caught up in the thrill of fighting evil that she’d forgotten that Surprise wasn't a robot or dictator; she was some kind of obsessive psychopath. And, for whatever sick reason, she’d just cemented her fixation. Surprise was gabbing away excitedly. “We’re going to have such fun being arch-nemesis-es-es-es! Screw the contract, I’m gonna commit crimes way more than once a week!” Bon-Bon gave her a withering look. “I gather you hate clichés, but traditionally the arrested criminal goes to jail at this point.” Bon-Bon pulled out her communicator and tried to establish a secure line. "This is Agent Sweets contacting M.A.R.E HQ. I’ve apprehended a dangerous criminal and require a prisoner extraction, over.” The hologram remained blank and she heard only static. “Signal’s being jammed?” Bon-Bon murmured, “Why would…?” She glanced over to where Surprise was smugly looking at her. “No… You couldn't have...” “You’re surprised by this?” Surprise gave her a deadpan look. “Considering you fight her every week, I’d have thought you’d have the day memorized by now.” Getting flustered, Bon-Bon realized she’d been tricked. Desperately needed elsewhere, Bon-Bon turned to run. …Only to fall flat on her face. Panic set in as she realized she was in worse trouble than she thought. “Why can’t I move my…?! “ She looked over to Surprise’s dropped golf bag and heard what had stealthily been there the entire time; a steady hiss of escaping gas. Bon-Bon saw spots dancing at the end of her vision as she struggled to remain conscious. A mocking voice drifted over to her. “Hey, remember when I said I couldn't get out of this net?” She twisted her hooves, cutting a hole in the net with the blades of her ice-skates. “I lied.” Surprise trotted over into Bon-Bon’s field of vision. Now fully paralyzed, the costumed mare could only watch as she retrieved her bag and crouched in front of her. From this close, it was apparent that Surprise was using her ridiculous drinking hat as some sort of disguised breathing mask. “Now do you see where I’m coming from? Predictable routines dull the mind, waste our brief lives, and make it very very easy for you to walk right into a trap.” Surprise kicked Bon-Bon’s legs, flipping her over onto her back. She pressed a hoof onto Bon-Bon’s chest in victory. “Today I start to break the cycle. Even if your buddy surprises me and lives to face me again, the status quo is already changing. Why? Because this week, Harpflank and Sweets lose. And I’m only just getting started.” She leaned in close and stroked Bon-Bon’s mane in an eerily loving fashion. “Sorry, Sweets, maybe you’ll catch me next time.” Her voice lowered to a whisper. “The not knowing is the best part.” Bon-Bon’s head slumped backward as she blacked out. Surprise reached into her golf bag and pulled out an odd device with two hoof-slots and a cylinder on top. “I wonder how much magic is in a super pony…?” Scene 7   Lyra pressed herself into the wall, panting heavily. Her costume was scratched and torn in multiple places, and even her saddlebags had burned off in a close call with some plasma fire. She pressed a hoof to her bruised ribs, wincing in pain. Lyra cursed her inattention. She’d already gotten so used to the strength and speed granted by the Nanosuit that she was reacting too slowly to everything Trixie threw at her. She activated her communicator, whispering into the mic to try and stay unheard by the Lunatron’s sensors. “Hey guys, I’m, uh, pretty much getting murdered out here. Any luck?” Octavia’s succinct but uncharacteristically worried tone responded down the line. “Bon-Bon continues to not respond to her comms, and our sensors are still unable to find any trace of her.” “What about-“ This time it was Vinyl who responded, sounding like she was barely holding herself together. “No! I’m working as fast as I can, but Trixie fried these things so bad, they make the Commander’s office look positively organised in comparison!” There was the sound of something short-circuiting and Vinyl crying out as she was zapped with the excess power. Lyra was really starting to get nervous now. “Well you must have something, right? Some new gadget or weapon you've been working on!” “….” “Right?...“ “I’ll have to get back to you on that.” There was the sound of clattering and shifting paper as Vinyl desperately began sifting through the mess of her lab. Octavia cut back in, attempting to reassure Lyra. “I-I’m sure we will find something! Anyway, we all have faith in your ability to find some weakness to exploit and pull through.” Now sounding very out of her depth, Octavia tried her hoof at cheering her on. “Uh… Go team!... Yay…” Her voice faded out as she got further away from the console, berating Vinyl for her stupidity. “I told you we shouldn't have discontinued all the other research, but noooo! We summon one Megacello, and suddenly, everything else isn't ‘cool’ enough to work on…” Lyra cut the mic, stealthily shifting from her position as she heard the pounding of gargantuan hooves move closer. “Great. Vinyl is out of ideas, Tavi’s getting hysterical and Trixie is winning. What’s next? Is Redheart going to break out in song?” There was a horrendous crunching sound as something reached down and grabbed hold of the entire top half of the building, tearing it out of its foundations. Now exposed, Lyra bolted to the left and leapt from the new ‘roof’ onto that of the neighboring building. The remainder of the building behind her collapsed in on itself as the Lunatron smashed the severed top half right back down onto it, both halves crumbling under the impact into mere chunks of rubble. From the swirling dust came the distinctive whine of charging plasma emitters, soon followed by the equally telltale sign of the ‘Big ‘ol beam of swirling sapphire death’ more commonly associated with the weaponry. Tracking her movements, the Lunatron ‘head’ swiveled round, melting the concrete behind her as Lyra desperately tried to outrun it. She wasn't fast enough. As Lyra attempted to make the jump to the adjacent roof a few hundred hooves away, the Lunatron gave one final flair and she was clipped by the last scornful strands of plasma. Lyra screamed out, every nerve on fire as she fell smoking from the side of the skyscraper. Her vision faded out as she hit the roof below. Scene 8   “………………………” “……………………..ra!” “………………………..” “……Ly…….hat hap….” What... What was that noise? “..Ly…..ome in….you hav…….…respond! Lyra! Are you….…ay something!” Lyra could hear voices. They sounded so… Scared. She blinked slowly, her five hooves swimming around in a blur in front of her. She could taste iron in her mouth, had she been eating metal? Maybe… Maybe she should take a nap… “..rew this! …emote Activat… Emer…ncy adrenaline..hot!” Lyra gasped for air as something jabbed in her side. Her vision came back into focus and she suddenly became unwillingly aware of just how much pain she was in. It was a lot. After she stopped screaming, Lyra found she could hear the voices a lot more clearly now. “Lyra, buddy! You gotta get up! Forget the mission and get out of there!” Lyra rose onto her haunches, clutching her side in agony. “…No. I can’t let Trixie win.” Looking around, Lyra could see her failed jump had deposited her on the roof of the Celestial Royal Bank. A strange beeping noise came in over the headset, followed by the tapping of keys. Octavia’s voice cut in, muffled by the beeps and the general ringing in Lyra’s ears. “Lyra, sensors detect something moving in on your position incredibly fast.” “Bon-Bon?...” “...No, it doesn’t matc-“ Whatever Octavia was saying, Lyra couldn’t hear it. Concrete crumbled and her entire world shook with two resounding booms as the Lunatron’s forehooves embedded themselves in the side of the building. Lyra turned to face it as it slowly drew up to its full height, towering over her like a god. The bottom half of the Lunatron was constructed in traditional equine form, loaded with missile launchers and at least as large as the last one that had been defeated. The top half, sans the plasma firing blank slate of a head, was something new; an additional vertical torso with two extra limbs. And on the end of those limbs… The roof of the bank was surrounded on three sides by taller buildings, including the more traitorous ones that had denied her earlier parkour attempts. Lyra sighed, even if she could move, there was no way to escape. Trixie’s ringing laugh emanated from somewhere deep within the contraption, tinged with the telltale narcotic of victory. Before she had the chance to say something heroic and stupid, the mountainous centaur reached down and grasped Lyra in its tree-like fingers, almost crushing her in it’s grip. “Do you like them Harpflank? They’re called ‘Hands’. -An extra function I sought to add in my Custom Engineered Triximum Auxiliary Reactors Lunatron just for you.” Trixie’s infuriating, amplified voice echoed throughout the ‘box’ that had been formed between the buildings. She gave a smarmy little chuckle as Lyra struggled to breath. “I thought you might appreciate a little irony with your imminent demise.” Truthfully, the only thing Lyra would have been able to appreciate at that moment would be an ambulance and some painkillers. The Lunatron tightened its hold, eliciting another gasp of pain from the captured hero. Lyra’s horn glowed weakly, utterly unable to force open the vice grip crushing her ribs. “How does it feel to know that after all the times you would meddle and interfere with my schemes you will die alone and helpless?” You could practically hear the grin on her face. “I guess it’s true what they say. Clothes really do make the mare.” Lyra’s horn gave one final flash before winking out, completely drained. A long moment passed before Trixie began to laugh. Then her hand fell off. As it fell, the limp fingers spread open and Lyra made a desperate leap, barely grabbing onto the side of the bank with her front hooves. The hand continued to fall, leaving a sizable imprint in the pavement below. The CEnTAuR looked down at the now amputated limb with understandable confusion. “But… You?... What?” Lyra shakingly pulled herself up over the ledge. “Trixie…. The only irony I see… Is that you thought the world expert…. Would even be fazed by your shoddy replicas.” Trixie was unimpressed. “Hmph. A paragon of a useless art? It suits you, you infernal wretch. No matter! Let’s see your bizarre obsession save you from this, cretin!” The Lunatron stepped backwards, planting all four of its hooves back on the ground. Lyra flipped onto her back and stared into the lowered glowing eyes of the CEnTAuR as its plasma emitters powered up for a final conclusion. “Triximum Ultra Dense Plasma Immolators at full power! Ready... Aim... Fire!”   The Lunatron lurched forward as something punched into the back of its head with the force of an oncoming train. There was an ear-rending screech as the head was twisted all the way around, smoke pouring from the mechanisms forced beyond the conditions they were designed to operate in. “What? No! Snips, Snails, shut it down! Shut it-“ The plasma fired, hitting the CEnTAur in its own rear end. The reinforced lunar metal melted under the intense heat, gouging a steaming hole straight through to the road below. Shielding her eyes from the glare, Lyra gaped up at the destruction and, more importantly, who was doing the destroying. A pegasus clad in purple, cape flowing out with every beat of her wings. Underneath a pointed hat, blank goggles reflected the glow of the blazing plasma. The rear of the Lunatron now thoroughly melted, the mystery mare pulled her hooves out of the deep rends in its head and darted away as Trixie sought to swat her with her creation's remaining hand. “Who?! Who are you to interfere in my moment of triumph?!” The CEnTAuR struggled to stand on two hooves, staggering like Vinyl after a week of ‘Research is more important than sleep’ mode. Apparently not wanting to talk, Miss Mysterious shot straight up like a rocket. Reaching high above the clouds, she curved her path back downwards. In a flair of movement, her wings disappeared under her cape, spinning her into a somersault as she plummeted down upon Trixie like a purple meteor. “You wretched usurper! You haven’t heard the last of the Great and Powerful-“ The Lunatron utterly splattered all over the pavement. Witnesses would later describe it as being like a wedding cake being hit with a hammer, should said cake be made from several hundred tonnes of matrimonial metallurgy. Lyra dropped down from the bank rooftop, sliding down the wall and dropping into a pained limp. In her ear she could hear responses from disguised M.A.R.E agents arriving to clear the wreckage and hold back the public, but Lyra was preoccupied with the caped figure highlighted atop the burning wreckage. Lyra watched with confused eyes as the figure leapt away, crossing incredible distances from rooftop to rooftop as she fled the scene. She felt comforting hooves on her shoulder and turned to the comforting blue eyes of Nurse Redheart as she was eased onto a stretcher. Lyra drifted into unconsciousness, struggling to understand what she had just witnessed, and instead only finding herself more and more concerned. It might have been a result of her concussion or the exhaustion of the adrenaline wearing off but, for a moment, Lyra was sure those blank goggles were looking straight at her. [Credits roll   NEXT WEEK ON HARPFLANK AND SWEETS   “And besides, It’s not like anypony has a use for a Cockatrice anyway..."   “And... She claims to have a bomb..."   “You’re the most insensitive mare I’ve ever met!”   “What... the hay are you...?     TUNE IN FOR THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF… HARPFLANK AND SWEETS]   -------------------   Coming soon: Episode 31-The New Sheriff in Town!   My Little Pony Belongs to Hasbro