To Hold Her

by The Clopist


Holding Her

The clock on the wall let out another tick as the second hand carried the time away. It wasn't the only sound that could be heard by him, however. There was the small gentle hum from the compressor on the refrigerator; the dull thumping that came from the ceiling fan's motor and even the wind from outside would catch his notice every now and again. There was one sound though, one that he kept his focus on at all times; the sound of her breathing. Lying at his side, rolled up in his arms embrace was his girlfriend, his pony girlfriend. An adorable little mare with features that were hidden here in the dark of the room, though he knew them all too well. It was her sounds that he dwelled on, the almost unnoticeable heaving of her chest as she lay there pushed up to him. It kept him awake, but not out of disturbance or annoyance of her motions. It was all just the sudden realization of her being here, in that spot.

He didn't think he would ever be one of 'those humans.' The men and women of the human race that became romantically involved with Equestrian ponies. It wasn't the most uncommon thing in the world though. Even when he was a kid it was somewhat normal to see a human with a pony, or vice versa. Just as much as it would be considered normal to see any other human with a different race of human. He just never thought himself to be a kind of man that was into little horse girls. There were those that did mind of course. Anyone that dated or slept with a pony had this kind of vicious brand of either being a sexual deviant, or mentally unstable in some way. Now ever since he started dating her these were his stigmas to deal with as well.

He would be called all kinds of names from time to time from those that were either brave enough, dumb enough, or far enough away that they could escape. Terms like beastiality,' and, 'horse fucker' were some of his favorites. The second one did make him laugh from time to time as in some odd way it was true; if just a bit off color. Random prejudices never bothered him, however, as long as it did not bother her. He was unfortunate enough to get some flak from his family though. It wasn't anything serious, just a running blush from his mother, or the odd hidden looks his father would give him whenever the inter species couple would come to visit. All in all his mother was just happy that he was with someone, pony or otherwise.

Maybe that was the case. He never had many serious girlfriends; not ones he wanted to spend the rest of his days with at any rate. Maybe it was the whole pony destiny thing bleeding over from their enchanted world. It wasn't more that he was supposed to be with her. It was that she was meant to be with him, and her destiny made sure that he remained somewhat single until she arrived. This over complicated train of thought made him let out a soft sigh that pushed the smell of her mane up his nose. As much as he loved the idea of spending all the days he had left in him with this wonderful little mare. He just didn't like the idea that some outside force was manipulating him, or her, in some fashion that he could not control. He often thought that perhaps that was one of the main turn offs humans had about ponies. Ponies stood by their destinies without doubt or hesitation. Once they got their cutie marks then that was that and nothing could persuade them otherwise. He thought humans were for the most part much too chaotic to handle such a static existence. They just couldn't handle the thought of forever being bound permanently to one path that was a perfect line that could not sway or bend. Now that he was with her, he counted himself lucky to not be held with in that mindset.

There were perks of course; no relationship is without its pros, but it seemed a little more with her than he remembered with his human girlfriends. He hated to think it, and he would never ever even think about telling her about it, but sometimes, he liked to pet her like he would, well, a pet. The thought of it made him have to choke down a laugh so he wouldn't wake her, but it was true. Sometimes when she would sit next to him on a couch, or snuggle up to him in a chair, he would scratch her behind the ears, or stroke her mane and coat the same way pet owners would do to their dogs, cats or other lap type animals. All the while when he did it he would get some kind of twisted grin on his lips as if he was doing something wrong and hoping to not get caught. He often wondered if other humans that dated ponies did the same thing. He would see them walking down the street, or in shops and think if the man or woman was using their pony mare or stallion as some kind of weird pet substitute like he was.

Then there was of course the free trips to Equestria. All natural born Equestrians got to go back and forth between the worlds as they saw fit. This also meant that they could bring a guest of their choosing, which of course meant that the guest in this case, was him. The trips were normally about once a month, and because he was dating the traveling pony, he could take time off of work each time due to some governmental clause saying that any human escorting a pony national to and from either Earth or Equestria had certain diplomatic duties and responsibilities to uphold. What this basically broke down to was: he got time off from work to make sure his mare got from one place to the other. It really made his boss mad; probably made a lot of bosses mad now that he thought about it.

The denizens of Equestria were more curious than most humans, he thought. Even the most reclusive of ponies more often than not seemed to be interested in human cultures and the world as a whole. The two lands shared many common parallels; almost too many some would say to be normal, while others chalked it up to 'cosmic circumstances according to relevant multi-dimension theories,' or something along those lines. To him it was a chance not to only experience new human cultures, but completely different alien ones too. He never tried to act pompous or pretend he knew about subjects he didn't. He would though try to explain things to the best of his ability while at the same time not looking like a dullard.

The next perk he thought of made him blush all over, and get a large amount of goosebumps when he thought about it. His mind filling with the lovely visions and the exquisite remembrances of their lovemaking. He had to admit that he enjoyed sex with her much, much more than he had with his human girlfriends. The first time they did it was probably the most awkward and embarrassing ordeal he ever had to live through since he lost his actual virginity, but once he got over the little hang ups that probably every pony, human couple had to go through, everything just kinda seemed to fall into place. It really wasn't because he found ponies more attractive than human girls. It was just because that she, and the experience as a whole was so very exotic that every part of his mind was at full attention when they were together in such a way.

Ponies were physical creatures to begin with. They loved to be touched on or around their face and muzzle, their ears and the base of their manes were all good places to touch if you wanted to make fast friends. There were places though that he never thought of that would be considered erogenous zones. One thing that he liked to do with her was scrape his finger tips through her coat. She had a wonderful soft feel to her that reminded him of the microfibers on an expensive couch. When he wanted to have a go with her; or she with him, he would dig his fingers into her coat at the base of her shoulder, then pull backwards. It seemed to work rather well most of the time, and he liked the effect it had on her plus the neat little trails it would leave behind. He wasn't sure if this worked on all mares, but it was a definite show starter for her.

The next thought almost got him a little too excited to be laying with her next to him like she was, as his semi arousal would be sure to stir her from her sleep. The thought did pass through his mind though of being coupled with her; inside her. He had been with several human girls in his years, and they were all good enough in the sexual departments. There was something about her though, the way she moved, the way her mane and tail felt when he ran his hands through them. She was very vocal, and the noises she made would drive him wild the most, however. It was a perfect storm of her words, female moans and yells, combined with the whinnies and grunts that an equine would make in that situation, he would think. All of this was compounded when she went into her heat. She absolutely would not keep her hooves off of him, which was something he didn't mind of course. The whole experience of laying with her, wrapped in her legs, hearing her voice, feeling her squeeze him to release. It was more than enough to make him fall madly in love with her to the point of worship, he thought sometimes.


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Thinking about all the wondrous things that they did together, and to each other was well enough, but now something started to slip into his wavering thoughts that he didn't like to think about much. Mentally, physically they were compatible; they got a long like two old friends, and heated arguments were spaced out far enough that he could barely remember the last large fight they had gotten into. Something was always there though, something that did in fact drive a wedge into many pony, human couples before them. When it came right down to it, they were different species all together.

The genetics were all wrong. Try as they might, he knew deep down that he would never be able to give her a foal, and she would never be able to carry his child. They could have sex twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, three hundred and sixty five days a year. He could plant as much of his seed as he wanted into her waiting womb, it just would never happen. It's not like he was the first human to want to have a child with a pony. There had been tons of very extensive scientific studies done all around both worlds to try to find ways to let inter species couples conceive. It just wasn't possible right now due to the current technological state the two worlds were in.

There were of course actions that were being tested and worked on. Genetic manipulation; gene therapy, surrogates and a whole slew of other tests and practices that he knew nothing about, or wanted to understand. Many years ago before he was even born there were full blown magical spells that could force a mare or a human female to conceive. The end result was something, tragic, horrible even to consider. It was deemed that the use of magic to force life to happen was just to terrible and sad to continue; the spells were destroyed, and the practice outlawed by both sides.

All of this could be considered irrelevant to the common person that didn't share his situation. The situation, however, wasn't about him, as it was more about her. Ponies were some of the most family oriented people that he had ever met once he started to date her. Mares were expected to have at least one foal of their own by the time that they were her age. Mares any older than that without at least two foals were considered to be off in some way, and in some cases were considered social outcasts by those ponies less understanding of changing cultural ways.

Adoption was generally the only way out if an inter species couple wanted to start a family. Some would say that walking on water or flying without wings was an easier task though. So much red tape and political maneuvering was needed to secure a child. There were open protests on both sides against humans being raised by a pony parent, or a foal being raised by a human. He knew a professor in collage that was married to a pony and it took them over seven years to get approved. Even then they were met with threats, vandalism and social scorn for doing so. So much so that they had to move away to a far away place. Some say away from Earth and Equestria all together, moving somewhere near the minotaur nations or griffin kingdoms.

He wondered if this is what he and her would have to go through if they decided that they wanted to start a family together. He dreaded the thought of not being able to provide a stable family life for her. He absolutely despised the thought though of having to put her through years of hate mongering backlash, only to have to uproot themselves to move to a place that was even more alien than these two worlds combined. He could of course do what some more liberal couples do and bring in a stallion. It was simple enough, the stallion would stay with the mare during her heat, she would get pregnant, then the foal would be born while the human father raised the child. He still thought it was a stupid idea, and the thought of another man, stallion or otherwise touching her made him physically mad. So much so that there in the darkness of the room he pulled himself a little closer to her as in a way to protect her from some invisible phantom that was trying to get at her.

Maybe he was one of the fortunate ones. His mare was completely dedicated to only two things: her mate, and her career. Never once did she mention that she was interested in having kids. Now that he thought about it, she didn't even like foal sitting for her sisters, or baby sitting for his brother for that matter. He couldn't bet on that though; things change, and when you got right down to it, she was still a girl. He had to be prepared to deal with the day that she announced to him that she wanted a child. He wondered if he would be ready to take on the responsibility of having to tell her how hard it would be for them. He wondered if it would just be easier to let her go at that point.

He had to ponder this great sadness, at least for a little while. In the end of it all, he wondered if this was the best for her. He couldn't give her the family she might eventually want, and when it came right down to it, she was going to live many, many years past him. It was no secret how long lived ponies were. Every human knew just how old the pony monarchs were, and even a normal earth pony like her could live to be well in her two hundreds. He had to think years ahead of him, when he was a tired old man in the waning part of his life, and there she would be still running in her prime. He had to think how she would have to care for him, how she would have to look after him like he was a child until the day he finally died, and she could move on. He knew that letting her move on and finding another pony would be easier for her.


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"No," he whispered out loud to himself, hoping that his silent outburst wouldn't wake her. Yes, he was a human, and yes, she was a pony mare. They were as different as different could be. He knew though that he loved her more than anything; even more than himself. He didn't care that she was from one world and that he was from another. He didn't care that she had hooves and he had hands. He didn't care about any of it!

If she wanted a child, then she would have one. He would endure all the insanity inducing hurdles that he would have to jump through to ensure that an unwanted child, pony or human came to a good home to be loved by two loving parents. He would fill out paper work for days, he would leap through legal loopholes and crash into courtrooms with the best of them to get her what she wanted. Then if after all that he was denied, he would steal an orphan from somewhere! He would welcome the hate to come towards him. He would become a wall that it could not pass through. He would do whatever it took to make his family happy. If that meant sending violators to the hospital, then that is where they would go. If it meant sending them to a place six feet under, then that would be just as well.

Yes, he would age, he would become old. It only meant that he had to make sure that his aging body was prepared to handle the life that he had chosen. His love was a pony; ponies lived for a very long time. He had to make sure that he lived as long as he could, as healthy as he could. He would stick to his workout routine. He would eat healthy and avoid all the sweets and calorie and carb filled decadence that both worlds had to offer. Well, maybe not all of them, there was some of them that he really, really liked. Never the less, he would eventually become an old man, but he would be an old man that instead of waiting for his death to happen, he would be sprinting towards it all the while with her dwelling in his final thoughts.

He had to stop for a moment, for whatever reason he had let his mind get the better of him and he was all rilled up. He even now realized that he had been holding in a deep breath for sometime, and had to let it out in a gasping wheeze; that's when he felt her stir. He couldn't believe that this was the one thing that woke her up. Not the constant pushing himself into her back, or squeezing his arms around the barrel of her chest, but the sudden exhale of his late night excitement. She began to roll over, her thick forelegs coming down to a soft crash on his shoulder as she opened sleep weary deep ember eyes that caught the smallest amount of light in them to show that she was awake. For a moment the two just looked at each other before she lifted a heavy hoof to place on his cheek for just a moment.

"Love you," she whispered out before closing her eyes again.

"Love you," he echoed back to her. These few words between the pair made her smile wide and let out a content moan before rolling back over to her side and pushing herself up against him in a deep spoon position.

"Hold me?" she whispered out. Not having to wait long at all before she felt his right arm slip underneath her body, and his left arm drape itself over her front leg and shoulder to pull her so that there was no space left between her back and his chest. The last thing she knew before falling back to sleep was feeling him nestle his face into the back of her mane. A motion that brought another soft coo from her smiling muzzle.

Yes, this is what he wanted, this is what he needed. He would always want to be here, in this place, in this moment. He knew that he could not remain here forever, so he knew that he had to make sure as many moments like this existed in their life times. he wanted her in his life, no matter what the hardships he would have to face because of it. He would face them with her, they would face them together. Soon, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not a month or even a year from now, he would ask her to be his, forever. Hearing her say yes would turn his world into perpetual light. Yet hearing her say no, well, he didn't want to think about that. Those were thoughts for another time, however. All that he knew now was that she was warm, she was soft, she wanted him to embrace her in her sleep so that he may drift off to his. Above all other things that he had thought of this night; he knew he wanted that most of all. To be there with her, to breathe her in, to feel her there with him, to hold her.