*BOOM*.
Barney fell off the couch. He lifted his throbbing head off the floor and looked around. How did I get here? He got up and looked down at his messy clothes.
" God damn it." He swore. He was stuck in another world with a hangover and he couldn't even put on a fresh suit. He sat down and ran his fingers through his greasy hair.
" Oh man my head. I must have lost it last night. Fricken horses man." He went to go upstairs then, *BOOM*!!!!!! The whole house/library shook violently. Barney fell over due to a still lingering lack of coordination. Suddenly everything smelled like smoke. He grabbed his coat, which was covered in conspicuous stains and made his way up the dusty stairs and to the door. He grabbed the handle to turn it only for the door to fall forward.
He stood there and looked down at the handle still in his hands. " Ok then." Barney chucked the handle behind his head. I'm sure that wasn't my fault.He made his way out of the basement and into a chard and completely destroyed library. I really hope THIS wasn't my fault. He made his way through the smoking wreckage. He got glimpses of photos, books, and many personal items. All of which where destroyed by what ever came upon the library house thing.
Once Barney cleared the remains he made his way to nearest house to find out the fate which had befallen the one he was staying at. He stopped at a tall house with a kinda of fairy tale look about it and knocked. He received no answer so he moved on to the next house, and the next one, and the next one. Apparently everyone on the block is gone. Not deterred by this he continued to go house to house like a Mormon knocking in hopes that there was someone still left in the town. He heard strange bellows and explosions coming from the mountains but he ignored it. After all if there can be talking horses surely there could be noisy mountains.
After about an hour Barney was convinced that everypony died. He started making his ways back to the exploded library. Suddenly he noticed that all the ponies had not disappeared but had come out of there homes to look up at the sky which for some reason was filled with rainbows. He could also now hear singing. " LET RAINBOW REMIND YOU!!!". He made his way over with the rest of the town's ponies to the place where the library used to be. Only now for some odd reason a giant demented monolith was protruding from the ground. Everypony had gathered around it singing in harmony. Including Rainbow Dash, Twilight, some other ponies he didn't know. Some were wearing regal regalia, one was a crazy looking creature that could only be described as a taxonomists worst nightmare. All where all standing at the doors of the weird crystal castle thing. He made his way through the large crowed until he finally made his way to Rainbow Dash and friend who where in the middle of song. Barney's head was killing him and this didn't help. He also didn't get why they where so happy, why that castle thing was thing there, why Twilight looked like she just went ten rounds with a dragon ball z type monster, and how everyone knew the lyrics to the song they where singing, did they rehearse this? These where the questions pushed Barney just a little to far.
" WHAT THEY HELL IS GOING ON AND WHY DIDNT ANYONE PREP ME FOR A MUSICAL NUMBER?!?!?!?!" Barney was fuming. Suddenly the singing stopped and all eyes turned to him.
Rainbow Dashes gasped as she saw her new found friend looking so terrible from the events that lead to this very odd moment. She flew over to him and said, " Oh my gosh oh my gosh I'm so sorry I forgot about you. But something really crazy came up and, ummm, well it's a long story." She looked her friend in his baggy eyes. " Lets get you inside so you can wash off and talk."
" So you're telling me that she." Barney pointed across the grand dining room table at Twilight, " Fought some evil magic eating demon from the bowels of hell, opened a box full of more magic shenanigans, and brought ever lasting peace to the land whilst becoming the princess of friendship and lord of the town." He leaned back in his chair and put his hands in the bath robe pockets and laughed. " That sounds like you girls had one hell of a time. But wait what where all of you doing when this was going on?" The lone human motioned at the rest of the girls sitting at various parts of the table.
" Well darling the thing is....um." Rarity twirled her mane.
" It kinda a long story see well." Applejack hid behind her hat.
" We where coming to the save the day all cool looking but uuuuh." Rainbow Dash struck a pose.
" Eh....um." Fluttershy hid behind her chair.
" What happened was Twilight had been acting all weird and she was like zoom zoom. Then she shot up in the sky and went bam and was flying real fast. Then we tried to help her and she said," not today".Then she flew off, then we got betrayed by Discord and all our magic was suck out by lord big horns. There was an awesome show down then T-rex was like, give me your magic or you won't have your friends. Then she gave up and then deus ex machina now we won and she has a new house." Pinkie's wild explanation caused Barney lean back so far that he fell out of his chair.
" Well then ladies." Barney stood up, " This is a cause for celebration. I say we head to the bar and party. To honor the town princess." He raised his hand in salute to Twilight.
" I could go for a drink right about know." Twilight nodded in agreement to Barney's proposal.
" SUIT UP! Oh wait a minute, Dash you wouldn't happen to know a tailor? I am running dangerously low on clothes. Not that it's a bad thing considering my company." The girls all blushed with the exception of Dash and PInkie Pie who was swinging on the chandelier from the mention of a possible party.
" I don't know Barney we don't have many tailors. I certainly don't know anypony who knows anything about fashion or sewing I jus." Rarity came up and smacked the sarcastic look off Rainbow Dash's face.
" Well Barney it would seem that your in good company. My best friend Rarity is the town fashionista." Rainbow rubbed the back of her head giving Rarity the stink eye.
" Daring it would be my pleasure to help you outfit a new suit."
" Excellent. Now everyone the bar at seven and remember to suit up." He grabbed his old clothes and made his way out with Rarity.
" Ah Twi? What do ya reckon he ment by suit up?" AJ was confused.
Twilight zapped a book into her hoof. " Suiting up, is defined in the Marester dictionary as, the art of becoming awesome via wearing a suit. It's also a official Barney Stinson catch phrase, copyright pending.... Wait what???
AT 7:00 PM
The doors of the bar swung open reveling a man in a suit. His eyes covered by a pair of aviators. AC DC's Back in Black was playing for no particular reason. All eyes where on Barney's awesomeness which was gleaming of his freshly tailored black suit. Rarity was beside him in equally awesome attire. They walked through the tables, making their way to the booth near the bar where the rest of the gang sat. Mares fainted and colts became heated. Once they got to the booth Rarity took a seat. Barney took off his shades and snapped his fingers, the aviators burst into flames.
The girls gasped at the magic that they where unaware that he possessed.
" Oh my goodness I didn't know you had magic." The newly crowned queen of the town expressed with surprise.
Barney reached behind Twilights ear and reviled his glasses still intact. " I happen to be a very capable magician." He pulled out some flowers from his sleeve and presented them to her. She took them with her magic and set them beside her drink.
" Thank you." She blushed profusely.
Barney slid into his set next to Dash and Pinkie who was slurping some chocolate milk. He looked at his compatriots puzzled. "I thought that I had explicitly stated to suit up. The only ones who did so where Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and myself. Also where is that other mare, with the butterfly butt marks.
" She said she couldn't make it. And for your information Mr. Stinson I am a princess, I don't wear suits I wear dresses" Twilight she stated all uppity.
Applejack protested, " I dont got any fancy clothes or nothin."
Pinkie was at the bar chugging down a gallon of chocolate milk.
" Hey Barney." He looked at the rainbow mare that addressed him.
"Ya."
" Rarity isn't cheap how did you afford her best stuff. Your kinda new here and don't have any bits. I'd be happy to help cover the expense." She offered
" Oh my dear that won't be necessary, he already paid me." Rarity straightened her collar.
" How the hel..."
" We worked out a deal." Barney interjected. He scratched his head.
" What kind of deal?"
" Um..." Barney started messing with his tie. Applejack and Twilight started giving Barney some odd looks.
Rarity blushed, " Its really not appropriate table talk girls so if we could just..."
" Holy Faust you f*cked Barney." The smile Rainbow Dash's face grew huge.
" Well I'm going to get a drink." Barney and Rarity shuffled their way past Rainbow Dash and over to the bar
" Ditto." Rarity sped away.
Rainbow Dash started to laugh her flank off. Applejack looked over at her royal friend.
" Hows he gonna lecture us on proper attire when he bangs our best friend?"
" I don't know AJ. But after all the crazy things that have happened I am not surprised and I need a drink" She made her way out of the booth.
The only ones left where Dash and Applejack. An awkward silence held the air. They looked at each other for a bit to long and AJ started turning red. Dash looked at her friend and scooted a bit closer.
" Hey gorgeous. Mind if I by you a drink?" The cyan mare poked around playfully.
Applejack started hiding behind her hat. " Sure." She was happy Rainbow Dash finale picked up on her.
" Hey Whinney an Appletini for the miss." She motioned to the waitress who looked over and nodded in acknowledgement.
At the bar Barney was flirting profusely with Rarity. Twilight took the stool next to them.
" Applejacks whiskey if you would please." She spoke to the gruff bar tender.
He grabbed a bottle and glass. "Ice?"
" Yes please."
He did as asked. She went to grab some bits from her saddle bag but forgot that she left it at the booth.
" Sorry I forgot my bad." Twilight was embarrassed by her obvious forgetfulness.
" It's on the house. Thanks for keeping this town safe princess." He smiled and went about his business.
The princess sat there in a mix of confusion and content. Being royalty had it's perks but free drinks wasn't one. She levitate her drink.
" Cheers to me guess." In a sarcastic tone. She drank her feelings of the day down with her drink. The sound of the other patrons drifted away as the alcohol hit her blood stream. Everything was over. Tirek, her house, her new responsibility to the town, all gone with the after taste of maple. Her glass was empty quick so the bar tender filled her up again. Twilight knew she should probably take it easy but at that moment relaxation was the only thing she was entertaining tonight. As if out of irony a colt walked up to her.
" Oh goodness your princess Twilight. Your one of the greatest magic user in all of Equestria. Can I get you autograph?" He thrust a pen and paper at her. A look of stupid admiration on his face.
In her buzzed up mood she was inclined to tell him to piss of. But being a princess meant she had to be curtious to her subjects.
" I'm kind of not..." She was interrupted by Barney. Who had stopped nibbling on Rarity's ear and pushed the colt out of the way to face her.
" Greatest magician in all Equestria huh. Well I contest that title. Miss Sparkle I challenge you to a magic duel!" He exclaimed drunken and loud enough for the entire bar to hear. And doing this the entire looked over at the scene as it played out.
The patrons awaited the princesses answer.