Ponyville had long missed their local librarian, now turned Princess, and were happy to see her and, to a very slight degree, her sister, Trixie. It was a long train ride and the two sisters had retired early to their home, not bothering to answer any questions about their trip until they had a chance to relax and sleep in their own beds.
It wasn’t long till the next day arrived and the two sisters felt rejuvenated enough to talk about their little exploit to the Frozen North. Needless to say, it was a tale. Twilight, Trixie, along with Spike and their friends, all gathered at Sugar Cube Corner to catch up on what happened. All around the table the jaws of many of the mares, and Spike, went slack upon hearing what happened at the Crystal Empire, some even having looks of disbelief.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, time out! Are you serious!? King Sombra came back!?” asked Spike.
“Yes he did, Spike, along with some very…” Twilight shuddered, “…very, evil, dark spirits. Apparently they were the ones that originally granted him his dark magic and corrupted him.”
“Remarkable, to think that such a ghastly, and terrible pony such as he, was all along a tortured soul held prisoner by a darkness that nearly consumed him,” said Rarity, feeling a bit sorry for the evil king.
Rainbow Dash floated and the air and gave Trixie a scrutinizing look. “So, you really helped to save the Crystal Empire?”
“Of course I did,” answered Trixie, sounding a bit offended.
“Ah’m sorry Twi, not that Ah don’t believe ya. Ah mean, we encounter crazy stuff enough times that Ah’m not surprised that that happened. But, it does sound a bit unbelievable to think Trixie of all ponies did all that to stop Sombra.”
“Um, maybe Trixie did do all that stuff, I mean, she does love Twilight…”
Trixie glared at Fluttershy, causing the shy mare to let out an “eep” and slink down under the table.
“Oh, oh, did you bring back a souvenir from the Crystal Empire!? Please be a Flugal Horn, please be a Flugal Horn!” Pinkie prayed, bouncing up and down in anticipation.
“Hmm, Trixie brought back something better than a ‘Flugal Horn’, something that will prove that Trixie was the key element in the defeat of Sombra.”
Trixie floated her magician’s hat off her head. She then waved her hoof over the hole and thrust her hoof into it. Many believed, except for Twilight, that the showmare’s hoof would rip through the other end of her hat, but it didn’t. In fact, Trixie had stuck her whole right foreleg into the hat, reaching around for something.
“Now where is it…? I put it in here for safe keeping – AH HA!”
Trixie pulled back and revealed half of a manitcore. The beast roared into the mare’s face, causing everypony in the room to scream in a panic, backing away to the other side of the room. Trixie then quickly shoved the beast back into the hat, and waved her hoof over it once more to insure that the beast wouldn’t pop out again. Twilight hadn’t moved from her seat next to Trixie, she merely shook her head, but smiled nonetheless at what she saw.
“Heh, heh…Must’ve grabbed the wrong hat,” said Trixie as she chuckled nervously.
“You only own the one hat, Trixie,” said Twilight.
“……”
“O-O-Okay, since when could she do THAT!?” Spike shouted, pointing an accusatory claw at the mare.
Twilight smiled as she explained. “Trixie’s magic has been getting stronger since we left the Empire, and it’s all due the Star Staff unlocking her full potential!” The alicorn mare then clapped her hooves excitedly. “Trixie’s able to cast spells and is learning magic that we were previously having a hard time with! I’m so proud of her!”
Trixie lowered the rim of her hat, hiding the pink tint to her cheeks the best she could. “Do you really have to make it such a big deal?!”
“Of course I do, why shouldn’t I get to brag about my little sister’s accomplishments? Besides, I thought you liked being praised?” asked Twilight with a raised eyebrow.
“Only when it is Trixie doing the bragging…with you it’s just…embarrassing.”
Trixie went back to searching for the object that she spoke, if for nothing else then to keep the embarrassment from getting to her. She reached into her cloak and rummaged through it until she stopped and shouted, “Eureka, Trixie has found it! Now feast you’re eyes on this!”
The unicorn mare pulled out a wand, with a black shaft and a crystal carved star on top of it. Before they could ask about it, the wand shined and transformed, the shaft extended up seven feet, and the crystal star growing a bit bigger and sparkling with magical energy.
“Ooooooooh,” Pinkie Pie placed her hoof into her poufy, curly mane and pulled out a pair of sunglasses, putting them as she continued to stare at the Star Staff, “sparkly!”
Rarity couldn’t help but stare at the beautiful ancient artifact that Twilight and Trixie spoke of, it reminded her of the rock that had gemstones from when she was a filly.
“They let you keep that,” said Rainbow Dash in disbelief.
“Perhaps a little more detail is needed.”
Crystal Empire, 2 Days Ago
It took some doing, and a lot of hard work, but the citizens of the Crystal Empire, along with the help of two alicorn Princesses, one unicorn Prince, and an empowered unicorn mare, were able to fix much of the damage that was caused by the resurrection of Sombra and the dark spirits. Twilight and Cadance would inform Celestia and Luna of what went on here, but beyond that, this whole incident was going to be kept a secret from the Equestria Games Commission. They worked too hard to get those games to come to the Empire and they weren’t going to let something like the rise of a dark spirit king derail all that now.
Trixie was currently walking around the Palace, waving her Star Staff over the walls, ceiling, and floor, casting the same magical energy that warded the four dark spirits away from Sabio’s study. Although they were sure that Sombra was gone, Trixie didn’t want to take the chance that any lingering traces of his dark magic might be around, so she spent most of the morning and afternoon doing this. She had taught these spells to Shining Armor, Twilight, and Cadance, and together the four of them were spreading the wards throughout the Empire and its borders.
The azure mare stopped for a moment and looked out the window, seeing all the crystal ponies working hard to clean up the mess that Sombra’s return did. It made Trixie chuckle when she recalled the reason why she and Twilight made the trip up here in the first place, and in the end they destroy an evil spirit of darkness, redeemed the spirit of a stallion, and reunited him with his loved ones.
“Certainly one of my more exciting ventures,” said Trixie.
Despite this, Trixie still couldn’t get over what the spirits said. There was no denying that there words did hold some modicum of truth, Trixie was the one that facilitated the rise of the evil that had lain dormant within the Crystal Empire for a long time now. Had she never come to this place, it would’ve been likely that the darkness might’ve faded away without anything happening. But then again, there was no real evidence that that would happen, but Trixie could hope for the best.
“Trixie?” The azure mare turned around and saw that Cadance was walking towards her. “How’re you doing?”
“All’s well, I’ve almost covered the Palace in the wards. If there is any trace of Sombra or the darkness, it won’t be found in the Crystal Empire.”
“Well that’s good to hear, but I wasn’t asking about the ward spells.”
Trixie sighed, knowing exactly what she meant. “I know what you meant…and I don’t know right now.”
“Trixie, you can talk to me, we’re family remember.” Cadance lightly bumped her shoulder against Trixie’s, making her sister-in-law smile a little.
“Trixie – I mean – I am still adjusting…It’s not easy to learn that you are the cause of turmoil within your own family…I knew Shining Armor might be…upset about finding out about me and what their – well – our Father did with my Mother. But I didn’t know that Twilight harbored those feeling of sadness and despair…”
It was now Cadance’s turn to sigh. “She has been a bit of a worrywart ever since she was a filly. If something wasn’t organized, or completely planned out, she’d fly into a panic and start thinking about all the bad things that could happen, or would happen as a result. I guess Twilight thought she could handle this knowledge and what might come of it.”
“In my case, it will happen. Cadance, I…I could break apart their family…I don’t want that. But I know it could happen.” Trixie’s ears went flat against her head, thinking about what would come about when that day eventually did arrive.
Cadance looked upon the saddened unicorn, and then an idea popped into her head. “Let me show you something that I taught Twilight.”
“Is it some spell?” asked Trixie with intrigue.
“Not exactly, but it does work wonders for calming oneself down.” Cadance stopped walking and gestured for Trixie to sit beside her. Trixie sat down next to the pink alicorn and waited for whatever it was she was going to do. “First, close your eyes, place your hoof over your chest, and then breathe in.” Cadance did this and Trixie mimicked the action. “And then breathe out while extending that same hoof forward, and repeat.”
Cadance and Trixie simultaneously did this, inhaling slowly and exhaling slowly as they extended their hooves out. The two mares repeated this calming exercise for a bit, the pink alicorn then looked to Trixie. Her shoulders released their tension; her face had a serene look upon it as she continued the exercise without Cadance’s lead. After another bit of time, Trixie stopped, opening her eyes as a small smile curled on her lips.
“Feel better?”
“Actually…yes, I do.”
The Princess of Love leaned down and nuzzled the side of Trixie’s face. “Good to hear, my little Ladybug.”
Trixie immediately blushed upon hearing that nickname. “W-W-What did you call me?!”
“‘Ladybug’? I call Twilight that sometimes.”
“I-I know that, but why are you calling me that?”
Cadance giggled at the flustered look on Trixie’s face. “It’s because I consider you family Trixie, and, if you were living with Twilight back when you two were fillies, I don’t doubt that I would’ve been foalsitting the both of you, and bonding with another sister-in-law. So, to me, you’re both my Ladybugs.”
Trixie still felt a bit embarrassed by the nickname, but, she had to admit, she liked it. She had often wondered what it would’ve been like, growing up with Twilight and having Cadance foalsit her. Getting tucked into bed, having her read them both a bedtime story, playing in the park, and all sorts of other things. Hmm, maybe I can cast that age spell again on Twilight and myself…? Okay, I’m not that desperate.
“Thank you, Cadance. But don’t expect me to do that embarrassing dance that you and Twilight do!”
The pink alicorn visibly frowned, “Oooooh, come on Trixie, for me? Just once? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease?” Cadance mock whined.
Trixie looked behind Cadance, and then back down the hall. With a reddening face, Trixie said in a low hushed tone, “Alright…”
“YAY! Now stand in front of me and do as I do.”
Trixie groaned but complied with Cadance’s request. Once in position, the two mares went into the ritual that was once only something that Twilight and Cadance shared, but now, it was something that they could now, as sisters, and sisters-in-law, share.
The mares ended the ritual with both of them shaking their posteriors at each other, causing Trixie to giggle from the silliness of the whole thing, and from how much fun she was having.
Twilight and Shining Armor were off in the Empire, spreading out more of the protective warding spells. Shining Armor, during their time casting the spells, had been reflecting on his actions from the past few days. The worst of the worst was his blow up in Trixie’s room.
“It wasn’t you Shining Armor, it was Ira, the dark spirit was making act different, angrier, more violent…”
Twilight still couldn’t get the image of her big brother raising his hoof to strike her out her mind; she knew Shining Armor would never hurt her. He would die before ever thinking about it. Ira egged him on, fueling his anger till it reached a boiling point and allowed the spirit to take hold of Shining Armor’s mind and body, and the same so for Twilight. No doubt the image would stay with her for a while, and probably require some dream therapy sessions with Princess Luna, for the both of them, to get over the trauma of that little ordeal. But for now, Twilight was just happy to be with her big brother, and even more happy to see that Trixie was alright.
“Well…it still doesn’t excuse what I did to her…I tore up her only memento of her foalhood. I just saw red when I looked at it, how happy she was, and how…how happy Dad was too.”
Twilight leaned up against her brother, nuzzling him comfortingly. “I know this is hard, Faust knows I dread the day when we have to confront Dad about this, and I dread it even more for Mom, she’ll be devastated by this.” Twilight then looked up at Shining Armor. “Do you…Do you still, resent Trixie?”
Shining Armor let out a heavy sigh. “I won’t lie, I’m angry. But, it’s mostly at Dad. I mean, how could he not even do anything for her?! Never mind that he cheated on Mom, the fact that he didn’t even bother to try and take care of Trixie is just wrong! I’d rather be mad at Dad then blame Trixie, but…Some part of me didn’t want to accept that Dad cheated on Mom, that Trixie was just trying to manipulate you into thinking that she was and was trying to get back at you by hurting our family. So…not really. I just need a little more time to let it sink, that’s all.”
Twilight didn’t want to push it; time was something that they were all going to need. Shining Armor in particular, but she believed her brother was on the right path. After seeing how Trixie was willing to sacrifice her own life for their sakes was a real eye opener, more or less force feeding him the truth that Trixie would never hurt either of them, and that she cared too much to let her new family be taken away.
“I almost wish you two didn’t have to go so soon,” said Shining Armor.
“We only planned to stay a week, and to tell you the truth, I could use some time with my friends right now.”
“I understand.” Shining Armor nuzzled Twilight reassuringly. “So…on a scale of one to ten, how mad do you think Cadance is at me?”
Twilight stopped to think about that for a moment. “Considering that you were being influenced by a spirit of hate and anger…somewhere between five and seven.”
“Ouch.”
“You’re probably going to be sleeping in the foyer for a bit.”
“So are you going to get to the part where you get the staff thingy or what?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“Would mind letting us finish, Rainbow? We’re getting to that part,” scolded Twilight.
“Anyway…”
Twilight, Trixie, and Cadance were waiting for the train to arrive, standing on the platform and remaining mostly silent. Shining Armor hadn’t come to see them off, it did hurt Twilight a little, but she knew her big brother needed some time.
“So you’re alright with me keeping the Star Staff? I mean, it is an important artifact of the Crystal Empire, plus I’m sure it would help the crystal ponies,” said Trixie.
Cadance shook her head. “Uh-uh, it’s better for you to have it Trixie. Honestly I don’t think it would work for me or anypony else. Besides, that’s the reason why we also loaded the journal crystals of Sabio into your saddle bags. Shining and I agree that if anyone can figure out how to recreate it and make sense of how Sabio did it, it would be the two you.”
“Speaking of…” Trixie took a cursory glance of their surroundings. “Is he coming at all…?”
“It’s alright, I’m sure he’ll be here,” said Cadance, trying to reassure her sister-in-law.
“He might just be hung up on some little task at the moment, probably just wanting to make sure the job’s done right,” said Twilight trying to do the same.
“Thanks, but it’s alright. If anything I don’t blame him for not wanting to see me off, I just wish you didn’t have to suffer not saying goodbye because of me,” said Trixie, frowning.
The three mares could now hear the train whistle in the distance. Soon the train would arrive and Twilight and Trixie will be back in Ponyville. Trixie, despite making their bond little stronger, still couldn’t get over the loss of the one thing that had her mother’s face. Even though she still had the hat and cape, and those did bring back the memories, it still wasn’t as good as –
“Twilight, Trixie!”
All three turned towards the platform ramp and saw Shining Armor galloping towards them. His horn was aglow as something hovered beside him. Once he got to them, Shining Armor panted slightly out of breath. Which was odd since Shining Armor was once a trained Guard Captain and the run from the station to the Palace shouldn’t really have taken that much of a toll on him.
“Thank Celestia…you’re still here,” he said in between pants.
“Shining Armor, why do you look so out of breath?” asked Cadance concerned.
The unicorn stallion took a moment to catch his breath before answering that question. Once he had though, Shining Armor stood up straight and set his sights on Trixie, making the mare flinch just a little.
“Trixie…I…I know you came here hoping for the two of us to get along, like a big brother and little sister should. Although, the entire time you’ve been here, I’ve been nothing but mistrusting and suspicious of you from the start.”
“No argument here,” commented Trixie, but immediately wished she hadn’t.
“It’s fine, I was a jerk…”
“A big jerk,” added Twilight.
“A regular plothole,” said Cadance.
“Okay I get it, thank you! Anyway…I wish I was more welcoming, I could’ve been getting to know you better, but instead I was Tartarus bent on proving that you were lying or thinking that you were out to harm Twilight and our family, treating you like an enemy…when I should have been treating you like a little sister.”
Shining Armor raised an object up from behind his back and floated it towards Trixie. Trixie took the object into her own telekinetic aura, and gasped upon seeing what it was. The photo that Shining Armor had torn up and stomped on in his half-possessed state was put back together, as good as new. Her eyes started to water as Trixie gingerly touched the photo with her hoof, fearing it might break apart as if fragile glass.
“H-H-How did you…?”
“I had to learn a repairing spell back when I was younger and living with Twilight. Sometimes she’d accidentally tear a page from a book when she used her magic, and I had to fix it.”
Twilight cheeks reddened from remembering those times, she’d fly into a full on panic, thinking she was going to be arrested at any moment for ripping a page in a book. But then Shining Armor would come and cast the spell to fix it. After a while Twilight learned the spell on her own, but from time to time she would go to her brother and let him do it, just to spend time with him.
“It took a bit to put back together, honestly I’m mad at myself, both for tearing it up in the first place, and for tearing it into so many pieces.” Shining Armor moved a little closer to Trixie, rubbing the back of his foreleg nervously. “I know I can’t be your BBBFF, I don’t feel like I’ve earned that at all. But I want to, and I want you to be my LSBFF too. If you want to give me a second chance…”
Trixie looked to the photograph, and back to Shining Armor. A small smile curled upon her lips. “I wouldn’t mind that…Shining Armor, I really wouldn’t at all.” Now it was Trixie’s turn to act nervous, her face blushing as she looked down at her hooves. “Can…Can I, uh, g-give you a hug…?” Trixie felt stupid for asking that, of course he wouldn’t want her to hug him, not after everything that had happened, it was too soon.
“Sure.”
Trixie looked up suddenly, and was greeted with a sincere and kind smile. Carefully Trixie reached out with her right foreleg and brought it around Shining Armor’s neck, she shuddered a bit when she felt Shining Armor hugging her back, but it was gentle and warm. So…this…This is what a big brother feels like…they make you feel safe. It was something that brought comfort to the mare, something she hadn’t felt for a long time. Twilight and Cadance stood aside, watching them, and tearing up from the sight. Trixie slowly released Shining Armor, she would’ve liked it to continue, to just be held and protected his strong forelegs, but to her, it was best not make it last any longer than that.
“We’ll have do over of this trip someday, sound good Twi, Trix?”
Twilight nodded, wholeheartedly agreeing. Trixie did the same, genuinely looking forward to the day when they could actually spend time with her big brother, and not have the fate of Equestria hanging in the balance. Seriously, what is up with this family and world ending scenarios? Oh well, it’s my family now too, best get used to it.
Present…
Many of Twilight’s friends were crying a little from hearing what happened before they left the Empire. Trixie had kept her gaze down, hiding her face from the mares and drake, not wanting them to see her cry, at least not right now. Rainbow Dash and Spike tried to keep up a tough façade, but even they couldn’t help but feel happy from hearing this tale. Applejack and Rarity were starting to feel a sudden urge to go and give their respective siblings a hug.
“Considerin’ all that happened, everythin’ sounds like it turned out alright,” said Applejack.
Trixie and Twilight glanced to each other nervously, rubbing the backs of their heads.
“Well…” started Twilight.
“Not exactly…” said Trixie.
With their goodbyes said all that was left was waiting for the train. The locomotive pulled into the station and hissed as the steam cloud came rolling out from under the engine. The two sisters gave one last goodbye to Shining Armor and Cadance before turning around, and as Twilight and Trixie started to get ready to head into the train cars they froze.
“Twilight, Trixie, what’s wrong? Shining –” When Cadance turned to address her husband, she found that he too was acting the same way. “What’s going on here?”
Twilight promptly used her magic to direct Cadance’s head in the direction the three siblings were staring. It didn’t take long for the Princess of Love to have the same reaction. Getting off the train were a couple of unicorns, a mare and stallion. The mare had a light silver coat, a purple mane with white highlights, and her cutie mark was that of three purple stars, Twilight Velvet. The stallion beside her had a navy blue coat, and a darker shade of blue for his mane and tail, and a cutie mark of two crescent moons, Night Light.
“I-I-It can’t be…” Cadance stammered.
“Mom…!” Twilight and Shining Armor said in unison.
“Dad…!” Trixie nearly shouted.
The couple looked around, Trixie had an extreme urge to teleport away right now, and maybe if they didn’t notice she might be able to –!
“Twilight, Shining Armor,” called out Twilight Velvet.
Too late, Trixie groaned inwardly.
The married couple trotted over to their children and daughter-in-law. The four ponies put on smiling faces as to mask the terror and nervousness they were feeling right now at this moment.
“Mom, Dad!” Twilight exclaimed.
“Mr. and Mrs. Sparkle, what a pleasant surprise,” said Cadance as her eye twitched.
“It certainly is, we were just coming to see you two for the weekend, but didn’t expect to catch our little Sparkle as well,” said Velvet.
“Y-Yeah, crazy, right?” asked Shining Armor.
“Heh, I told you mother we should’ve sent a letter ahead to tell you, but she thought we’d make it a surprise. I mean, seriously honey, we could’ve accidentally ‘walked in on them’ if you get my drift,” said Night Light.
“I should hope so! I’m still waiting to see some grandchildren!”
Cadance and Shining Armor just blushed, this situation was already awkward, and the talk of grandfoals was just exacerbating the situation. That’s when Velvet and Night Light noticed the azure mare standing silently beside Twilight, hunching close to her as if seeking protection.
“Twilight, dear, who’s this?” asked Velvet.
“Who’s what?”
“That mare standing next to you,” said Night Light.
Twilight gulped, her mind was blank. This broke every law of probability, the chances of Sombra resurrecting and trying to take over the Crystal Empire again, while helping Trixie to bond with Shining Armor were already astronomically long, but now, Twilight was starting to believe that there was some almighty force that was purposefully making all this happen. Some ancient, unnamed deity that took some sadistic pleasure in making her life into a drama novel! Definitely going to have talk to Celestia about that theory, but for now, the crisis at hoof!
“Uh…well…she’s, her name is Trixie and, um…she’s…she’s…”
“Her marefriend!” Trixie blurted out.
Before Twilight could properly react to that statement, Trixie had pulled Twilight into a passionate kiss right in front of her, well, their parents.
Sugar Cube Corner was deathly silent. The five assembled mares all stared at the two sisters, jaws slacking and threatening to become unhinged and bust through the floor, in Pinkie Pie’s case, it literally did go through the floor.
“YOU TWO DID WHAT?!” Spike shouted.
“You kissed Twilight?!” Rarity yelled in disbelief.
“Ah…Ah think Ah’m…wow nelly, is the room spinnin’ Ah think the room’s spinnin’ y’all?”
“B-B-But you’re sister’s!?” Pinkie exclaimed.
“Half-sisters…” Twilight corrected.
“Oh right, my bad. B-B-B you’re half-sisters!? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I used to do some things with Maud when I was younger and going through some things, but she was cool about it, and it helped me learn more about myself, but that was just experimenting stuff. But if that’s what you two were doing, then its fine. Although, if you did mean it then –!”
Pinkie was swiftly silenced by Rarity shoving her hoof into the mare’s mouth. “Pinkie Pie, as much as we would love to hear about this ‘Maud’, and the implications thereof, I feel I must redirect us to the pressing matter that is TRIXIE KISSING TWILIGHT!”
“It was all that I could think of at that moment, I panicked!” Trixie admitted in her defense, blushing redder than an apple.
“So…what happened after that?” asked Rainbow Dash, who, surprisingly, remained calm through this whole thing.
Twilight put a hoof to the bridge of her nose and shook her head back and forth. “In the end, we told my – our parents that Trixie was…my marefriend…Should I be offended or relieved that they didn’t seem surprised, or for that matter, angry by my orientation towards mares?”
“See the glass half full darling, it’s easier. But now what?! They think you’re…well…a couple!”
“Don’t remind me…It’s only going to make that day all the more painfully awkward…” Trixie groaned.
Twilight sat back against the wall and sighed deeply. “One thing’s for sure, it’s going to be a while before we confront my Mother and our Father with the truth…I need to plan something out after this debacle…I’m really starting to think someone’s doing this to us on purpose!”
“Oh Twilight, you silly filly, of course someone is.”
Everyone in the room looked to Pinkie Pie. “You…you don’t really think that, do you Pinkie?” asked Fluttershy, starting to feel nervous about some stranger manipulating events.
“Well duh, isn’t it obvious? There’s somepony watching us right now and typing down every word that I’m saying and controlling the awkward situations that Twilight and Trixie are in, culminating into a massive drama filled finale, where the two half-sisters confront their lying, cheating, doesn’t-even-bother-to-take-care-of-the-child-sired-and-leaving-her-to-become-an-orphan-and-one-day-sought-to-get-revenge-by-out-magicking-her-other-sister-” Pinkie then inhaled “-who-grew-up-to-become-a-successful-and-important-pony-who’s-saved-Equetria-and-made-a-bunch-of super-duper-friends!”
Once again, silence reigned in Sugar Cube Corner (And I am very afraid of Pinkie right now). Twilight and Trixie just stared at the pink mare, wide eyed at that explanation. It was a few more minutes of silence before anyone said a word.
“Pinkie Pie, you are so random sometimes,” said Rainbow Dash.
“I know.”
“So, one question.”
“Yes, Rainbow Dash…?”
“How good was she?”
“THAT’S IT! I’M BUSTING OUT THE STAFF!”