Chapter 26: The Power of Pinkie
So many happy ponies! Today is a good day for me, Pinkie Pie! Yes, I’m Pinkie Pie. Well, I don’t really need to tell myself that. I know who I am. Though honestly, it’s nice to remind myself. Not a lot of ponies know who they are, and I don’t mean just the foals who haven’t gotten their cutie marks yet.
Like take the Cakes! They thought they were supposed to be bakers, but they don’t know that they’re really meant to bring joy to the world. As Pound and Pumpkin get older, they’ll learn how important that is. And that’ll make them happy!
When others are happy, I’m happy. So many ponies have reasons to be happy.
A strange tickle along my left side? It’s going up the ribs! That means only one thing: Discord's back! Fluttershy will be so happy and maybe Cantrip can finally snuggle with Ink Nose. He Pinkie Promised so he has to.
Wait… what’s this feeling? Oh no. Somepony is sad. It’s… it’s bad. They’re hurting so bad! I’ve got to find them!
They’re this way! May they need a hug. Or a cupcake! Or maybe they need to hug a cupcake! It looks like I’m going to Everfree forest. I don’t have emergency huggable cupcakes stashed around thOW! What the… I’ve never felt somepony hurt this bad before! This is awful! I… Don’t know if I can take it.
No, I have to. No pony should hurt this bad. I have to go faster. They’re just ahead. Wait… Ear itch… tongue twist… tail shake, back hump… Somepony is about to break a Pinkie Promise but it’s not their fault. Why would somepony make somepony else break a Pinkie Promise? Nopony’s allowed to do that!
NOPONY BREAKS A PINKIE PROMISE!
“Hi Cantrip! Hi Discord!” Discord just stood there dumbfounded. The book was rewritten and Cantrip should have been erased. And suddenly, here’s Pinkie tackling Cantrip like everything was always hunky-dory. Discord could sense it. The book started to rewrite itself and reality rejected it. Something tied Cantrip to reality and… “So, Discord, you were about to make Cantrip break a Pinkie Promise?”
Now he was dumbfounded. “What? What are you talking about?”
“Weeeeeeell… Cantrip made a Pinkie Promise to Ink Nose that when this was all done they’d have a talk about spending their life together which you should totally do Rarity will just love designing Ink Nose’s wedding dress anyway he was about to be wiped from existence which meant that he’d have to break his Pinkie Promise even though it totally wasn’t his fault and technically he would have never made it since he never existed it was just how the rules go but that could never happen so here we are!” She just smiled as if Discord offered her a cupcake. “Any questions?”
Discord still didn't understand how she worked. “Yes, just one. What?”
“NOPONY BREAKS A PINKIE PROMISE!” Discord was genuinely scared. This little one was always the nexus of madness he could never understand, but now that the book was whole and he was at his full strength (he just thought he’d grown rusty after a thousand years of being a statue) he could tell just what she was.
She was Laughter, the antithesis of pain and suffering. As much as he was the Avatar of Chaos, her role was that of protector. Some ponies had to experience loss and tragedy on a small scale so they could understand what reality was, but she protected those she could who were facing trials they couldn’t handle on their own. She wasn’t as powerful as Discord, but she had enough to bind Cantrip to reality, despite the book.
Well, wasn’t that funny? The book rewrote itself at her whim. All of this wasn’t even necessary. It was just the book sorting everything out! The book didn’t just change the past, it rewrote the future! He just started laughing!
Of course, this just caused Pinkie to started laughing. And laughter is infectious, so Cantrip started to laugh too! They could have sworn that even the forest with laughing with them.
When they finally started calming down, Discord snapped his fingers. The book disappeared, gone to somewhere that not even he knew. If he didn’t know where he sent it, he couldn’t tell anypony where it was. Sounded crazy, which meant it was perfect. “Well, I’m just glad there will be no more changes. Life can go on as normal.”
“Oh wow, now I’m doomed! Now that I can go on existing, Twilight’s gonna banish me for being late! I gotta get to Zecora’s. I’m doomed! Doomed I say, DOOMED!” Cantrip started walking to Zecora’s with the first genuine smile on his face for a long time. “I’ll see you both later!”
Discord and Pinkie waved after him. “Thank you, Pinkie.”
She just looked at him oddly. “For what?”
“For anchoring him to reality. I never really understood how powerful a Pinkie Promise was until now.”
“Oh that, it was nothing. I didn’t even know I did anything, so I can’t really take credit!”
“Right. We’ll stick with that story.”
“Oh, and Discord?”
“Yes?”
“Don’t ever make anypony break their Pinkie Promise.” He looked at her ready to joke when he saw her. Her eyes had dulled, her hair was flat, and her fur had darkened.
He was afraid for his life. He did the only thing he could think to do. “I Pinkie Promise. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” He made a cupcake appear in his hand squished it into his face.
“Okie dokie lokie!” As if nothing happened just then, she was her normal bouncy self as Discord licked the cupcake off his eye. Banana and licorice, not too bad. “Say, wanna walk with me back to Fluttershy’s? I know she’ll be really happy to see you!”
“Well, I am rather late for tea. I should drop by.”
“Awesome! Let’s talk on the way! What do you wanna talk about? There’s lots of fun things to talk about. Ooh, and lots of funny things to say! Like ‘kumquat’! Kumquat kumquat kumquat! And 'pickle barrel'! Isn't that just the funnest thing to say? Pickle barrel, pickle barrel, pickle barrel! Say it with me! Pickle barrel, kumquat, pickle barrel, kumquat, pickle barrel, kumquat…”
Discord and Pinkie danced through the Everfree, singing those words.