//------------------------------// // Dear Princess Celestia... // Story: Scootaloo's Guide to Stalking // by Spilled Ink //------------------------------// Dear Princess Celestia, I am currently writing to share my thoughts with you about this strange set of circumstances taking place in Ponyville. As it happens, I am trapped inside Scootaloo's humble abide, with nothing but pen and parchment. I am only able to send you this letter by magic, instead of Spike, and it is good I looked into the spell. All day, in this room, there is noting but a TV. I am sure you have already seen the commercial for season two. If not, I can easily describe said commercial for you. It is quite horrifying, so if you wish to skip to the end, please do. It starts with my captor entering a dark, musty room, some sort of blowtorch in her mouth. She somehow has learnt to fly, despite her parasite like wings. She then sits down on an obviously made from effects chair, and uses her hoof to pull in a table. Still, obviously using effects. She precedes to put a set of our DVDs of the previous season on the table, stacking them up in a 2-1-1 style, which soon collapses. It is quite horrifying, really. Soon, her friend, the gray filly, enters and pulls a wagon behind her with the two other friends, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. They circle around the room several times, all the while chanting 'Scootaloo'. Then, Scootaloo puts on a Princess Platinum costume that even I can tell is what Rarity would call 'so last season', whatever that means. Scootaloo then slams a crudely painted picture of Canterlot in front of the camera, and begins to sing the most hideous song ever heard by ponykind. The screen would then turn blue, green, red, yellow and finally black ending this cruel torture. Please do rescue me soon, Princess! Your Faithful Princess, Twilight (MY MIDDLE NAME IS NOT ALICORN!!!) Sparkle Dear Princess Celestia, Stop Scootaloony right now! I ain't the kind of pony that takes this marebuckin' nonsense. What in Equestria is going on with that crazy orange pegasus? Please do stop that crazy young one! While your at it, also do bring Apple Bloom back to her home, Princess. She's been causing all sorts of crazy round this town! I can't get moment's rest with her TV commercial, blimps, jets, flags and other shennanigans! Even RD can't sleep through this mess! Almost every pony agrees with me, except 'em griffins. It really did sell well with 'em griffins... Either way, the entire Apple family is against that crazy filly! And they kidnapped Princess Twilight Alicorn Sparkle! That middle name thing kind of caught on, in case you didn't know. Stop that crazy filly! Your Loyal Subject, Applejack (NOT APPLE JACK APPLE) P.S. This is Rainbow Dash. I agree fully with everything AJA said. YOU HAVE TO STOP SCOOTALOO! I can't believe I agreed to take her under my wing! P.P.S. This is Pinkamena Diane Pie. I know where Scootaloo lives. She lives in an underground tunnel right below the Doo household. Just a hunch. P.P.P.S. This is Fluttershy. (Please refrain from calling me Flutter Posy Shy. My mother's name is Posy.) Scootaloo scares me, and I don't everwanttoseeheragainEEP! P.P.P.P.S. This is Rarity Diamond Belle, in case anypony asks. I'd like Scootaloo to refer to be as the Royal Highness Rarity Diamond Belle if I ever get any screen time. How dare she not include me on the interviews, the best part! I was dressed in this beautiful silk dress that looked exactly like the one I have of Cinderrarity! And I even had back ups! Like the one from Rarity and the Beast, Marshmallow White, The Little Rarity, Sleeping Rarity, and Rarity-punzel! So sad. On an additional note, do stop Scootaloo. I am quite enraged she didn't let me talk about all that Saddle Arabian silk. Celestia stared at the two letters in front of her. She had to get rid of Scootaloo.