//------------------------------// // Epilogue // Story: Cauldron Club // by Biplane //------------------------------// Princess Celestia greeted her guards, who stood at attention outside her private chambers, rigid and unflinching. "Good evening Rough, good evening Tumble," Celestia greeted. She made it a point to know the names of all of her guards. After all, it made sense to know at least a little about the ponies into whom you placed your trust and your well-being. Rough and Tumble said nothing, but bowed their heads slightly in unison. And these are the "fun" guards, Celestia thought with a wry grin. It was true that in general the Day Guard were not a particularly... conversational bunch, and it was also true that Rough and Tumble were as unorthodox as it got. Why... Tumble wore his mane a quarter inch longer than regulation! And Rough had only polished his armor twice today, instead of the requisite three times! What absolute rogues! But it didn't matter how stiff the guards were, Celestia was happy to see them again. She was happy to be back in Canterlot again, she was happy to return to her castle, and she would be especially delighted to see her beloved bed once more. She had spent a week personally overseeing Ponyville's rebuilding efforts, and while Twilight's accommodations had been generous and comfortable (and, of course, neurotically attentive to her every need), there was simply no place like home. That "home" was a luxurious castle containing the single fluffiest bed in the land did not hurt, she supposed. After a week of personal oversight, it became clear to Celestia that expert organizer Twilight Sparkle had everything well in hand in the rebuilding effort, and when Twilight had suggested that she could return to Canterlot, she had offered only the weakest argument, a return in all honesty sounding quite enticing to her. Unfortunately, before she could return to Canterlot, she had had to attend to a small diplomatic embarrassment near the border of the Griffon Kingdoms, which delayed her return by a further week. My, but it was good to finally be back. "Well... good evening, then, gentlecolts!" Celestia bade her guard friends, patting Rough on the head with a hoof (he did not move a hair), and then she opened the impressively large doors to her personal chambers. And there it was. Her bed. Closing the door swiftly behind her, she abandoned all pretense of composure and took a running leap into the bed, bouncing satisfyingly on its perfect, fluffy surface. "I've missed you," she whispered to her blankets. She took a few minutes to just lie there on the covers, soaking the comfort in, before she moved the blankets aside, sank into her bed, and snuggled the covers around her in delight. Such comfort. Such perfect comfort. This was bliss. This was heaven. Nothing could ruin this moment. Nothing. Celestia closed her eyes and sighed contentedly, a happy smile on her face. Then, a gout of green flame flared above her face, one of Twilight’s letters suspended. “Buh- oh no, NO! Come on!” Thwap. The rolled piece of parchment fell on her face. "Twilight Sparkle," she said to the empty room, the roll of parchment balanced over her eyes, "You have got the worst timing." Letter still on her face, and hooves wrapped over the top of her blanket on either side of her head, Celestia pondered whether to read the letter now, or let it wait until morning. It probably wasn't an emergency. Probably. Celestia sighed. After the last couple of weeks she had had, she was not going to let absolutely anypony stand in the way of her much-deserved night of sweet dreams. ...Save for a very, very few ponies. And Twilight Sparkle was on that list. Using her magic, Celestia picked the letter up off of her face and pulled down her covers. Adjusting herself to a sitting position, she lit a candle and unrolled the letter, ready to see what was happening in the world of Twilight Sparkle. Dear Princess Celestia, There is a theory that certain stimuli can become associated with memories and, by extension, emotions, and nearly every time Celestia had read one of Twilight’s friendship letters was a happy memory. Celestia found herself smiling every time she read that line. Through Twilight’s letters, Celestia had watched her favorite pupil grow and learn, and there was a sort of pride that welled up inside as her student became her own mare. Celestia had reflected on this over the years. She had always known that Twilight looked up to her, but Celestia had never wanted to be a mother figure for Twilight. Twilight had a mother, and Celestia did not wish to replace her in Twilight’s mind. So she had tried to keep herself somewhat distant and aloof, much as she had done with nearly everypony for the last thousand years or more. In spite of her well-practiced efforts, however, Celestia had found herself growing very fond of her student over the years, and while Twilight thought of Celestia as her beloved mentor (a welcome change from the type of worship, respect, or even fear that Celestia was used to receiving from other ponies), it had become increasingly clear to Celestia that she saw Twilight as something more. There were a thousand reasons Celestia would never have a family, other than her sister. They all made good sense. She was immortal, for one. She had numerous responsibilities as a ruler and as a sun goddess that had to take priority. She did not even know if it was possible for her to have children. And if she did… would they be immortal? And even if they were, could she bring another such powerful being into the world? There were always risks to such things, and Celestia considered every consequence and took her responsibilities terribly seriously. She had come to terms with all of this long ago. So very, very long ago. Or so she had thought. Until she had met little Twilight Sparkle, the daughter she had always told herself she would never have. It wasn’t fair to any of them for her to think of Twilight this way, Celestia had told herself, not fair to Twilight, not fair to her mother, and not fair to Celestia herself, but, for once, Celestia found that she could not help it. And so she kept Twilight at a “safe” length. Student and mentor. Attempts at formal stiffness, that often broke down into informal warmth. She had sent Twilight to Ponyville partly to distance her… and then what had happened? That little student of hers had saved Luna, something Celestia herself had failed to do. After a thousand years of loneliness, Twilight had brought her sister back to her. Twilight Sparkle was the most important pony in the world to Celestia, and “Dear Princess Celestia,” was the beginning of every thread connecting the Princess to her student. So she smiled as she read it. Yes, she decided, she most certainly did have time for this letter. Dear Princess Celestia, Trixie is a big, dumb jerk. Spike! Cross that off! Wait, why are you still writing? Don’t write that! Don’t write me telling you not to write! Spike! My apologies, Princess. Trixie is not a big, dumb jerk. She’s actually very nice once you get to know her. Yeah, or once she gives you a cup of her potion! Spike! Celestia laughed. It was not her public laugh. The one she always laughed. The practiced laugh. This was an honest, heartfelt laugh that built on itself and made her laugh even harder. Oh, these two were priceless! I’m sorry again, Princess. Spike is still a little mad at Trixie about the whole potion thing. You think? Spike! Did you write something else down? No? Well, good then. I’m writing to report the status of our rebuilding project after my… um… after Cauldron Club. I told her it was a bad idea, Princess. Firstly, let me say that we have cleaned up the cotton candy residue and chocolate milk runoff. Everything was sticky. Everything, everywhere. The smell, as you know, was overpowering and awful, and only got worse as the days wore on after you left. Celestia shuddered. Clothespin stocks ran dangerously low, but we had enough to get by. Thanks to a big thunderstorm organized by Rainbow Dash, the smell has been almost completely washed away now. The buildings are being fixed at lightning speed, thanks to some surprise help from the Apple family, who came into town earlier this week in droves. Applejack’s family are all hard-working, motivated, well-organized, and nice! It’s almost a party at times! That made Celestia think of barn raisings. Modern ponies, especially those from the cities, were often surprised by them, she had observed. Modern city ponies typically thought of it as manual labor, or hard work, but there had been a time when a barn raising was the height of a social event: food, dancing, seeing ponies not seen for some time, many hands making light work, and trading off with friends or family members when you weren’t up to working anymore. It was likely this type of activity that was the origin of Ponyville’s Winter Wrap-Up, in which all of the ponies of the town worked together to help bring in spring. In times long past, it would be unthinkable for royalty to visit a small town for anything less than a barn raising, and so Celestia had attended quite a few in her time. Really, they were more like fairs than they were like construction sites. Celestia was rather happy to see that the Apples, at least, had kept that tradition alive. She read on. I hope it wasn’t unorthodox, but I sent a letter to the School For Gifted Unicorns, asking if it would be alright if Carrot Top could receive some help from the counselor there. I know she’s not a full psychiatric doctor, but I’ve read her work on unicorn and pegasus envy, and she certainly is, in my opinion, one of the foremost experts in that field, and the perfect one to help my friend. You don’t mind, do you? I mean, I know you’re technically the headmistress, and it’s really your call, but… Well, no Spike, I’m sure she doesn’t mind either- wait why are you writng that? Don’t write that! Cross that off! I told her you probably wouldn’t mind, but she won’t listen to me. Spike, what are you writing now? Don’t write until I’m dictating! ThePparty went off spectacularly, by the way. Yes, that’s a capital “P.” Put a capital “P,” Spike. I really wish you could have made it! Pinkie Pie says she would be “happy-dappy” to schedule a “The Party 2: The Sequel” for when you can make it, if you want. I was a little worried that the decision to combine “the bear beach party” (I made the swimming potions this time, and carefully labelled them), Lyra and that train pony Shovel Face’s “train heroes party,” Derpy’s “firefightin’ hero party,” and Discord’s “we guess you’re all right after all (mostly) party,” might have been too much even for Pinkie Pie’s skills, but I am both happy and slightly terrified to say that I have vastly underestimated even her party-planning abilities. I suspect that this party set several party-based records, and my research so far corroborates this. We also broke every single noise ordinance on the books, but I was unable to bring this up to the mayor, as she was too busy dancing on tables with Berry Punch to listen. Celestia laughed at that; her favorite, real, heartfelt laugh again. She was already considering how to order her upcoming schedule to allow her time to attend “The Party 2: The Sequel.” I saw Luna dancing like a madmare with Shovel Face the train pony at The Party, but don’t worry, she didn’t do anything too “out there” this time. Well, I mean… for her. I have never seen dance moves quite like that, though. Very… um… loony? And the howling? That was weird. Anyway, I kept an eye on her for you! She’ll probably be back in Canterlot with you by tonight anyway, so I’m sure it’ll be fine! Celestia rolled her eyes. Really, Luna, she thought. Honestly! Rarity and the four mutated crabs have been working with Applejack and Big Macintosh at Sweet Apple Acres to get one of the fallow fields ready for a new field of zap apple trees. I offered to create a potion to return the crabs to normal, but they passed. They seem happy enough to be giant, mutated crabs, and they’re helpful and friendly enough. Iron Horse and Shovel Face offered to give them a ride to the ocean when they’re finished helping around here, now that they’ve been promoted to running the Friendship Express Transcontinental. The zap apple harvest is going to be poor this year, but thanks to all the help, they’ll have a bumper crop if they can pull through to next year, and I know the whole town is ready to help them do just that! Discord seems to be… well… for lack of a better word, behaved. Despite being one of the guests of honor at The Party, I was surprised to see he spent most of his time sharing tea and sandwiches with Fluttershy, Angel Bunny, and some pelican, away from the noise and bustle. It was almost… peaceful? I will keep a watchful eye on him, though, you can rely on that. No, Spike, I don’t think it’s because you “beat him up so bad.” Hey, cross that off! Cheerilee has been extra busy at the schoolhouse with keeping the fillies and colts focused on her lessons, despite all of the distractions in town around them. And an abortive attempt at “Cutie Mark Crusaders Construction Workers” did not help classroom discipline at all. But Cheerilee is the best at what she does, and the foals are back to learning. As it should be! Celestia remembered Cheerilee headbutting Fluttershy. She had no doubt that the teacher had the fortitude to survive whatever the foals of Ponyville could throw her way. Though, hopefully, few headbutts would be required. I was also surprised when Rainbow Dash, of all ponies, approached me about publishing a paper suggesting Aviatrix’s long-standing equations on aerodynamics be modified with the addition of a variable value for fluid medium compressibility, as she reports that in the trans- and supersonic states (being one of the few ponies to achieve these speeds), the airflow medium does indeed become variably compressible. “Buh?” said Celestia, scratching her head with her hoof. Twilight is trying to say that Rainbow Dash did a smart math thing, and that that was really weird. “Ohhhhh...” Celestia said to the empty room. “That is really weird.” Now, I’ll have to write it (obviously, I mean… it’s still Rainbow Dash we're talking about here), but I’ll give her first writer’s credit. I’m surprised and delighted that at least some of my book got itself stuck in that head of hers. Her findings are cutting edge and her insight is unique. It is a good day for science! I will take your word for that, Twilight, thought Celestia. Lyra and Bon-Bon are off on a tour of Equestria, leaving today. I’m glad for them, it sounds like a wonderful trip, and they’ve earned it. Though I am a little worried that Lyra might find too many distractions out there. Ah well, at least Bon-Bon will be there to keep her hooves on the ground. I hear that part of the reason for the trip is that Bon-Bon’s candy is getting to be quite popular around Equestria, and she might be looking to open a second shop, if she can find the right location. That mare has got a smart head for business on her shoulders. I predict success. And, I learned something today. I’m sorry to turn this into a friendship report, but, well… I learned that who a pony wants to be is not necessarily who she is. Trixie has certainly been, at times, a liar and a braggart, as well as petty and jealous, and while I believe that those traits are a part of who she is, they are not all of who she is. In other words, there is more to her than meets the eye. I have come to learn that, while it is friendship that Trixie has been missing in her life, she also doesn’t know anything about making friends in the first place. She’s a lot like I was in that way, actually, before you sent me to Ponyville. And, like Zecora, she was judged for who she appears to be, rather than who she is on the inside. Zecora has not yet forgiven Trixie, and I can certainly understand that, but I believe that, eventually, she will, and it will be a healing moment for the both of them. For now, Trixie is leaving us. I told her she could stay, I tried to convince her that we would all forgive her, but her mind is made up. This might even be for the best, honestly. She intends to travel far from Ponyville, to someplace where nopony will know her. Where her… unfortunate reputation will not precede her, and where she can try to make friends with a clean slate, without all the… baggage she has to worry about in Ponyville. I hope she finds what she’s looking for out there. I’ve tried to tell her everything I know about making friends and moving to a new place, and I told her that if she ever needs any help to just send me a letter. (Princess? I don’t really think Trixie is a big dumb jerk, I’m sorry I wrote that earlier.) I’ve been spending a lot of time with Zecora lately, as well. I want her to know that I don’t hold her responsible for her actions while under the influence of Trixie’s potion, and I want her to know that she is still a valuable friend to all of us. I can understand her anger and embarrassment, and I can understand why she blames Trixie, but I’ve been gently trying to remind her that it was her suspicions of Trixie, all of our suspicions, really, that made Trixie feel like she needed to make such a potion in the first place. That said, She’s also started to cheer up in the last week or so. She definitely took her ensorcellment harder than any of the others did, so it is good to see her smiling and laughing again. I still haven’t got her to say “orange.” Zecora is better at potions than I am, and so she has been invaluable during our rebuilding process, as she was the one who created a potion capable of removing Discord’s cotton candy residue from most surfaces, allowing us to wash it away with Rainbow Dash's storm. What? Applejack? What are you doing here? Spike, don’t write that. Howdy, princess, Ah heard Twilight dictatin’ her letter here and couldn’t resist another chance ta say- Spike, why are you writing what Applejack is saying? Cross that off! I’m the one dictating here! No, don’t write that, either! This is a letter to the princess, Spike! Take it seriously?! Ah jest had ta take the opportunity ta say one more time: “Ah was right all along!” Applejack, get outta here! Spike don’t write that! ...What are you- get down from there! You better not be thinking about sending this letter mister! We have got SO many corrections to do now! Wait… why am I still writing all of this? Uh… signed Twilight or whatever, yeah. Celestia laughed. She could just imagine Twilight’s face after Spike sent the letter! And she could hear Applejack’s hearty country laugh. She had no doubt that she would be receiving an apology letter and an annotated and corrected copy of the original letter sometime in the near future. As always, she looked forward to receiving it. Celestia was startled by her door being slammed open. She looked up to see a panting Luna framed by the enormous doorway. “Ah! Luna! You’re back, how wonderful! And how was your flight-” Celestia began, before Luna interrupted. “Sister!” she said, eyes wide, her breath ragged, “Look at what I have found posted all over the city!” Luna levitated a slightly torn flyer in front of Celestia’s face. Shining Armor's Forbidden Lore Club! Hello friends! Do you have an interest in FORBIDDEN LORE? Always wanted to explore that “NO ENTRY” part of the library? Looking for friends who share your interests? Or just looking to get out of the house Thursday nights? Come by for Shining Armor's Forbidden Lore Club, Thursdays at the castle library! I found the keys to the library’s FORBIDDEN ROOMS in a closet; so I made all these flyers! Please, bring your own candles! It'll be an exciting, mysterious adventure into the unknown! Looking forward to meeting you! Celestia’s mouth dropped open. She met Luna’s wide-eyed gaze with her own. From somewhere, they heard an ominous, low rumble. Luna gritted her teeth, “What is wrong with that family?”