//------------------------------// // Friday // Story: Cauldron Club // by Biplane //------------------------------// “So, uh… it wasn’t a plant growth potion,” Carrot Top said. “No!” Derpy replied, aghast. Carrot Top looked out from under the fruit cart at the fires across town dying under the chocolate milk rain. The fires she had caused. “I am going to get into a lot of trouble for this,” Carrot Top said, more reflectively than sadly. “You are. Ponies are definitely going to be mad at you about this. You burned down, like, half the town,” Derpy replied, waving her hoof across the panorama for emphasis. “But,” she smiled, “for what it’s worth, CT, no matter what happens, and no matter what they say, I’ll still be your friend. I’ll be right next to you the whole time. You’ll get through this alright.” Carrot Top nuzzled her friend with her nose. “It’s worth a lot, D. Thank you.” . . . Applejack watched Celestia run to her right, looking frantically for shelter. She turned to her sister. “Ah thought Ah told ya, NO ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders fireponies,’ or whatever!” Applejack admonished, admonishingly. Apple Bloom was admonished. “Well yeah, but… it jest seemed like such a good idea at the time… besides, we saved Miss Carrot Top!” Applejack watched Celestia run to her left, looking frantically for shelter. “No, ya got all four of y’all trapped in a burnin' buildin'!” “...And stopped Carrot Top’s crazy magic thing!” Apple Bloom insisted. Applejack watched Celestia run to her right, looking frantically for shelter. “Actually, we stopped Carrot Top’s crazy magic thing!” Sweetie Belle interjected. “You just ran into a burning building without thinking!” Apple Bloom scowled at her friend, who smiled angelically in return. Applejack watched Celestia run to her left, looking frantically for shelter. She was shouting, “Ahhh! I hate this! I hate this! I hate this!” now. Applejack frowned, and replied, “Y’see? Use yer sense, Bloom!” Apple Bloom rolled her eyes, utilizing all of her perfect technique to do so. It was a most impressive eye roll, let me tell you. “Fiiine,” the little filly drawled. “No more fire-fightin’.” She crossed her forehooves petulantly, no easy maneuver in the cramped environs of the fruit cart. Applejack watched Celestia run to her right, looking frantically for shelter. “This is madness!” she was shrieking. Turning away from the sight, Applejack said, “Mac, will ya back me up here?! I’m trying ta teach Apple Bloom not to keep gettin’ herself all fried? Oh for the love of-” she put a hoof to her face. “Mac, can y’all leave Miss Cheerilee alone fer a minute? Mac? Ugh! Yer such a chatterbox!” . . . “So uh… it might’ve looked like I was crying or something uncool out there, but I totally wasn’t!" "I know, Rainbow Dash," Scootaloo replied, smiling. "And it might have looked... kiiind of like I was scared or something... but I totally wasn't!" Dash grinned, and tousled the filly's mane with a hoof. "Awesome. Glad we got that cleared up!" Then, looking up from her number one fan, Rainbow said, "Hey, Derpy!" "Huh...?" Dash stared dumbly back at her for a moment. She actually hadn't thought this far ahead. Wow, this thanking thing was hard! "Uhh..." Hmm. Dash scratched the back of her mane in thought. "Buuuh..." Hmmm. Ah ha! Of course! Dash threw her forehoof out, pointing it at Derpy. "You are awesome! Hoofbump!" Nailed it. Derpy giggled and hoofbumped her colorful friend. "Yeah! Also, we should totally hang out sometime!" Rainbow said enthusiatically. Clearly, she was encouraged by how perfectly she'd handled that. "Okay, Rainbow Dash. That sounds... awesome!" “Thanks, Miss Hooves!” Scootaloo said, throwing her own hoof out for a hoofbump in a near-perfect imitation of her idol. “My pleasure, little one,” said Derpy, going for a quick hug this time instead of a hoofbump. “I’m not that little!” Scootaloo struggled against the hug. “Miss Hooves, this is soo uncool!” Scootaloo protested weakly. Rainbow laughed. . . . “Um. I’m… um. I’m sorry,” Fluttershy said, nearly whispering. “Hmm?” said Bon-Bon. “I… um… oh gosh, I’m so sorry!” “Huh? Why?” Fluttershy blinked. “Um. The ninja thing? ‘We will destroy you!’ and… and so on?” Bon-Bon shrugged. “‘S’alright.” “Oh. Um. Okay.” The two sat in silence for a moment, Bon-Bon’s a distracted and worried silence, and Fluttershy’s an awkward, nervous silence. “Um.” “Hmm?” “You seem like you’re a million miles away, if you don’t mind me saying so.” Bon-Bon sighed. “I hope it isn’t that many miles… I’m sorry, Fluttershy. I just keep worrying about Lyra.” "Oh, well I can understand that, but I'm sure she's fine." "I wish I could be as sure as you, then. I can't stop worrying about her. She gets into so much trouble when I'm not around." "Well, if there's one thing I know about that pony, it's this: she's thinking about you, too. I know it." Bon-Bon smiled. "Thanks, Fluttershy. I like that thought." "Y-you know, she was telling me the other day about you. In fact, she's always talking about you. The way she makes it sound, you're the greatest pony in the whole world." Bon-Bon looked surprised. "I didn't know she did that." "Well, you can ask almost anypony. She's made you one of the town's most famous ponies, if you ask me." "I always thought... I always thought I was, you know... just kind of... well... Lyra's accessory. I love her to death, Fluttershy, but I always thought I was living in her shadow." Fluttershy giggled. "Oh my, no! Although... In the Shadow of Lyra would be a wonderful book title!" Bon-Bon laughed. "When I see Lyra again," Yes. When. Not if! she thought, positively, "I don't know if I should slap her, or kiss her!" "And that sounds like a line from a romance novel!" "What are you, Twilight Sparkle? Got books on the brain?" Bon-Bon said, laughing again. Fluttershy blushed, smiling sheepishly. . . . There is no party, save the one you create for yourself. The absence of party is the void. It is the natural state of being, but it is the absence of doing. The void is to be. The party within the void is to live. Without party, the void is, the pony is, and the party pony is not. But without the void, the party cannot have form, and so the party pony cannot exist in a world of party alone. To party requires others, and each other cannot alone party. To party is to live, and to live is to make others alive with you. This is party. This is the way of the party pony. Milk is the void. It is the food of being. Chocolate is the party. It is the food of the living party. The being and the living together form perfection. The perfection of chocolate milk. Milk is sustenance. Chocolate is party. Chocolate milk is zen. Cotton candy is good too. thought Pinkie Pie. She stood in the middle of the street, while Celestia ran frantically back and forth around her, wailing in a singularly un-princess-like fashion. Pinkie’s head was tilted back, accepting chocolate milk rain into her welcoming mouth. She had not moved for fifteen minutes. . . . Dawn had broken, but it had been nearly ten minutes late. Curious, Luna thought, looking to the sky. I wonder what could have distracted my sister so. Luna, Lyra, and Shovel Face had been walking for what seemed like, to a Princess used to flying, forever. It had, of course, been about a half hour. Be strong, Luna. Be strong. “Are we there yet?” she whined. “Nope. We’re a few miles away from town, actually,” Lyra said. Shovel Face, meanwhile, reflected. So much had happened to him in such a short time. His whole life had been one of dealing with his ridiculous name, but last night, he had finally discovered the reason for it. He remembered how it felt when he faced the bear-shark. How his fear had melted away, and he had acted with surety and confidence. How he had stepped toward the monster with his shovel, and fulfilled his destiny, while beautiful mares looked on adoringly. It had been pretty awesome, really. He could picture the faces of countless taunters and condescenders and pitiers who would have been shocked if they had seen the humble Friendship Express boilerpony that night. And then everything had gone wrong on the train. He would have jumped off if it had been any other night. He would have saved himself. But he had still felt that feeling! The confidence! The steel resolve! The fearlessness! Was the difference between a "hero" and a regular pony really just a state of mind? He hadn't wanted to die on that train... but he had been prepared to. Shovel Face shuddered involuntarily at the thought. What did that mean? He was happy. He had a good life, and at least a few ponies would have been sad to hear of his fate if he had not made it. Did that make him reckless? Uncaring? Risking his life with a stupid, half-thought plan, to save strangers? A part of him wondered if he would do it all over again. Another part of him knew that he would, in a heartbeat. Shovel Face didn't have many answers, but he had questions to think about, and for now, that was enough. “Would you like to… teleport with me? That would cut the distance down significantly,” Luna suggested, hopefully. “Hmm… nope! It’s a nice day for a walk!” Lyra replied cheerfully. “I… see,” Luna said, put-off. Nooooo! It’s a nice day for a waaaalk! she mouthed silently in imitation, with her tongue sticking out and her eyes crossed, walking behind Lyra so she couldn't see her. It was such a silly sight to Shovel Face: the Moon Goddess, Her Royal Highness, making goofy faces because her hoovsies were tired. Luna was not what Shovel Face had expected at all. Like most ponies of his generation, he had grown up hearing only of Luna in history books, or on Nightmare Night, both of which had made much of Luna as the terrifying and villainous Nightmare Moon. The traitor who had tried to overthrow her sister. When the news spread that Equestria had now not one, but two rulers, nopony had known anything about Luna, other than she had apparently “gotten better.” He had perhaps expected a stiff, aloof, regal type pony, cold and distant. Luna was not that at all. She had a sort of... awkward innocence about her, at times, yet still somehow seemed impossibly wise at others. She fascinated him. What had it been like to be banished to the moon for a thousand years? A thousand years, all alone… how had she come back from that? He couldn’t even begin to imagine. Yet here she was, one of the most stable and even fun ponies he had ever met. No, Luna was not what Shovel Face had expected at all. He had so many questions to ask… but he couldn’t. He was nopony to ask those questions of her. “Hey, what’s that?” Lyra said, interrupting his thoughts. She stopped suddenly to point her hoof, and Luna bumped right into her with an un-princess-like “Ooof!” Shovel Face looked where Lyra was pointing. He didn’t see anything. Just some shrubs, some debris from the train, and… hmm… yeah… what was that? He stepped closer. It couldn’t be. It was. Using his magic, he extricated his shovel from the dirt. “I don’t believe it,” he said, smiling. “My shovel.” It looked very much worse for the wear. The end was badly dented and malformed, and the wooden shaft was splintered almost in two by a long crack that ran angularly down and across the length of it. The cross-piece handle was gone altogether. It was dirty, it was dingy. But there it was. Luna and Lyra watched as Shovel Face carefully examined it. “You know,” he said, not looking away from the now-storied instrument, “I used to hate shovels. All my relatives thought I loved them, what with my cutie mark and name, and they were always giving me these plastic shovel toys to play with. I hated it. I always wanted a model train.” Luna and Lyra exchanged a look as Shovel Face introspected. “It’s such a stupid name, you know? Shovel Face? It doesn’t even make sense. Why couldn’t I be Steam Locomotive, or Coal Hopper, or Tinder Box, or something like that? I wanted to be a train pony. My whole life, I wanted that more than anything. That’s how I became a boilerpony, you know. Where my talent and my dreams met. And I was happy with that. I’d solved my problems, you know? Found a way to make what I thought was my destiny work with what I’d always wanted to do. I was happy. Content. Not the kind of pony who does heroics, or anything crazy like that.” He looked up at his companions. “I don’t hate shovels anymore,” he said, finally, and he secured the battered shovel carefully and lovingly to his side with a couple of lengths of strap laying among the train debris. “I like your name!” Lyra said as he did so, smiling a wide smile with her eyes closed. Shovel Face and Luna exchanged a look, then laughed in unison. “I like my name too, Lyra!” “Verily!” Luna said heartily. . . . “Greetings, citizens!” Luna boomed as they entered Ponyville, to no response particularly. Chocolate milk was everywhere, and here and there cotton candy clouds drifted to the ground like deflating balloons. “Well… it… looks… less on fire than it did earlier?” Lyra offered in a glass-half-full kind of way. “It did look very on fire earlier,” Shovel Face agreed. “Though I could not even begin to guess what happened here.” “Discord,” Luna and Lyra said flatly, in unison. “Discord?” Shovel Face had heard stories about the chaos creature. Legends, really. Fables. Not sure what to say about a legendary villain being so casually name-dropped, he settled for, “...This is a weird town.” “LYRA!” a shout came from down the street. The three looked to see a cream-colored pony with a blue and pink mane glaring at them. “Oh! Uh… h-hey Bon-Bon!” Bon-Bon charged. “W-wait, wait, wait! I can explain…!” Lyra was interrupted when Bon-Bon tackled her at full speed with a powerful hug. There were tears in her eyes. “Lyra, Lyra! I’m so glad you’re alright, I’ve been so worried!” “Bon-Bon, I never meant to leave you behind-” “Never do it again. Never.” Luna looked at Shovel Face. She took a couple of awkward steps sideways from the increasingly snuggly ponies. “Perhaps we had best move on and find my sister, and your fellow train ponies.” Shovel Face nodded. As the two walked away, he could hear Lyra saying, maybe just a tad pridefully, “...So I’m apparently a hero of the realm now or something.” Shovel Face rolled his eyes at Luna, who giggled. Giggled! Her royal highness giggled! No, she was definitely not what he had ever expected her to be. It wasn’t long before they spotted a crowd of ponies milling about, as if the ponies were staying together for lack of knowing where else to go. Among them was Iron Horse and Flat Cap. Gummy the alligator was lounging on Flat Cap’s back. “Shovel Face!” Iron Horse said, waving him over. Shovel Face swerved through the crowd. “Well, Shovel, we’re all here! Though, I mean… now what? We haven’t exactly got a place to put all of these nice passengers up, have we?” he waved a forehoof over the devastation for emphasis. Shovel Face hoofbumped his engineer, “Glad to see you all made it okay! Don’t worry, Iron, the hard part’s over, now we can figure out the rest!” Luna waved goodbye to the train ponies as Shovel Face began laying out a plan, and continued on, looking for her sister. After coming across several Ponyville residents she had met during the last Nightmare Night and exchanging pleasantries with them, she heard something. “...Luna…” It was coming from the shadowy alley between those two houses! How spooky! “Luna…” it said again. Luna approached the shadowy spooky voice confidently, because shadowy spooky voices are just not something on your List of Scary Things when you are a moon goddess. “Stand and deliver, shadowy spooky voice!” Luna cried out. Just barely emerging from the shadows was... a monster! Luna shrieked! The shadowy spooky voiced monster growled. “I can’t look that bad, can I?” murmured the monster. “Hold, fiend!” Luna held up her hoof. “What matter of beast or demon be thou?!” The shadowy spooky voiced monster blinked. “Luna. Quit it. It’s me.” Luna squinted. “C-Celestia…? But nay, it cannot be you, for Celestia is a pretty, pretty princess with pretty flowers for hair and a sparkly, shiny coat! You must be some kind of…” Luna gasped. “SHADOW CELESTIA!” she put her hoof to her forehead dramatically, unable to completely hide her grin. Celestia narrowed her eyes at Luna, frowning deeply. Her mane drooped like wilted lettuce, soaked with chocolate milk and sticky with cotton candy. Her coat was stained brown, and also starting to smell a little bit, and she had lost one of her gold horseshoes. The makeup that she pretended she didn’t wear because pretty pretty princess don’t have to wear makeup but she totally wore makeup was running down her face, and she had bits of twigs and dirt everywhere from what the wind had kicked up during the chocolate milkicane. She shrank back into the shadows, noticing that they were starting to attract attention from the other ponies nearby. “I have not had a good evening, nor an especially rewarding morning. Be a dear, would you?” Celestia said, her voice dripping with honey and venom, “Fetch me a raincloud? Quickly?” Luna set off to help her sister, quickly… but not too quickly.