Yet More Lost Tales by ?
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"So, how's everything with the whole- y'know?"
Twilight looked across the table at Applejack, raising an eyebrow. Then she smiled as understanding spread over her face.
"You mean my relationship with Rainbow Dash and Lero?"
Rarity laughed from beside Applejack, Applejack snorted with annoyance and tilted her hat down to hide a blush, and Fluttershy peaked from behind her mane while trying to act uninterested.
"Why yes, darling, I do believe that's what Applejack was asking about."
"It's... it's great! I mean, I haven't had much experience with relationships, but everything so far has been wonderful. I knew Dash loved Lero but I didn't realise how intense their connection was until, well, until I was a part of it. They care so much about eachother, and they care so much about me too! This... it's great!"
Applejack and Rarity both blink, suprised at just how emotional Twilight was acting. Normally she only got this excited about new books or praise from Celestia. Fluttershy actually pushed back her mane so she could smile at Twilight.
"That so wonderful, Twilight! I'm very happy for you!"
Fluttershy was being suprisingly loud, her voice actually above a whisper! Twilight appreciated her friend's words.
"Thanks, Fluttershy. I guess I should'nt have worried like I did. I knew Rainbow cared for me, but I was so nervous on the first few dates because I was sure Lero would think I was boring or a weirdo. But he really enjoys or discussions and conversations, he's nothing like most stallions."
Applejack gave her a curious look.
"Well, yeah. 'Cause he ain't one."
"That's not what I mean, Applejack. Most stallions, they say the want a smart or funny or nice mare, but they all end up going after the mares with money and looks who just use them and treat them like dirt."
Twilight, Fluttershy and Applejack all glance at Rarity at the same time. Rarity notices this and, rather than being offended, smirks.
"Don't hate the player, darlings, hate the game."
Twilight resumes her explanation.
"Lero isn't like that, he sees the best in ponies, beyond their flaws, and is always so understanding and trusting. He's attracted to what's inside, and he's just so nice."
Fluttershy and Applejack both smile at that, clearly happy that Twilight is so happy in her new relationship. Rarity coughed lightly, attracting attention to herself.
"Now, Twilight, that's all well and good. But now you simply must fill us in on the important matters."
"Important matters?"
Rarity took a sip from a cup of tea before clarifying, a sly smile on her face.
"The bedroom, of course!"
Applejack immediatley pulled off her hat and lightly swatted Rarity with it.
"Ah can't believe you! Jeez, there are someponies here who respect privacy!"
"But this is an important question! Whether you like to admit it or not, a good relationship requires a certain level of intimacy and physical release, and Twilight lacks experience with such things to really judge them, and also I want to know how much of what Rainbow Dash brags about is true and how much is made up!"
Applejack stared at the white unicorn for a moment, then sat her hat back on her head and turned to her other unicorn friend.
"...Is his equipment really shaped weird like I hear?"
Twilight blushes furiously as she glances between her two friends that are now staring at her intently.
"I-Wha-GIRLS! I can't believe you'd actually ask me-I mean, this is just-!"
Twilight struggles to find words for how offended she is by these questions, but is shocked when Pinkie Pie leaps in from out of nowhere to defend her.
"Twilight doesn't have to tell us anything about *THAT* if she doesn't want to! It's something private between her, Rainbow Dash and Lero!"
"Thank you, Pinkie."
"Besides, Dash already told me all about it."
"Wha-WHAT?!"
"And it is shaped weird."
"PINKIE!"
Twilight bounced lightly on her purple hooves as she trotted around Rainbow Dash's home. This was actually her first time inside the cloud house, and she had to say that it wasn't what she expected. The outside of the home was excessive and flashy, much like the owner. The inside was actually fairly normal, if intenseley messy.
"Rainbow, have you ever cleaned after yourself?"
The rainbow maned pegasus walked out of the kitchen, swallowing the last bits of a donut, an annoyed look on her face.
"Geez, you sound like my dad... I haven't really been up here lately so I've let the place go. That's kinda half the reason I wanted you to come up here alone."
The other half being that they didn't know exactly how long the cloud-walking spell would last yet and Twilight wanted to test the limits before bringing Lero up here. Rainbow was 99.9% sure she could catch Lero before he hit the ground if he fell... but that .1% was enough of a reason to test first. Rainbow might do things without thinking first sometimes, but not with somepony else's life... especially not Lero's.
If Twilight fell, she'd just teleport to the ground.
Twilight had wanted a tour of the place, and decided to give her analysis of it as they went, to Rainbow Dash's annoyance. She loved Twilight to pieces, but the mare really didn't know how annoying it was to have other ponies point out your flaws.
"Hey, what's in here?"
Rainbow snapped out of her thoughts as she turned to see Twilight sticking her head into a room labeled 'KEEP OUT'. Aw, horseapples!
"Twilight, get out of there!"
But the purple ponuy was already examining the contents of the room. Twilight scanned her eyes across the shelves of books, salivating slightly. Literature!
"Rainbow, I didn't know you had a personal library!"
"Uh... yeah... well, you know now! Which means we can leave and you can forget ever seeing it!"
Twilight ignored her and trotted towards the nearest shelf. Rainbow quickly zoomed in front of her and blocked the unicorn mare's path. Twilight blinked, then frowned.
"Rainbow, are you still embarassed about enjoying books?"
"No! That's not it-"
"Because I thought you were over this-this anti-intelectual mindset that so many ponies seem to have!"
"Twilight, I do like books, but these..."
"Oh, come now, there's nothing wrong with... with..."
Twilight's eyes narrowed, and Rainbow realized that she was no longer looking into Rainbow's eyes but looking over her shoulder.
"...Slutty Stud Stallions Volume Fifteen?"
Twilightr looked around the room again, filled with shelves filled with books, mostly magazines, from the floor to the ceiling. Rainbow lowered her head with shame as Twilight's face became a mask of shock.
"These are all pornography, aren't they?"
"Yeah."
Twilight just looks over the room again, trying to take in the immensity of this collection of filth.
"I... wow. Do you spend all your bits on porn, or do you just get the weather team to pay you in Playfilly magazines?"
"Eh, Playfilly is alright, but I actually prefer- Uh, I guess you were just being sarcastic, right?"
"Wait, you actually ARE paid in porn?!"
"No! That's silly! I cover other ponies shifts if they can add to my collection! It's sorta like overtime."
Twilight just stares at Rainbow Dash.
"Please don't tell Lero about my collection!"
"... He's gonna have a hard time missing it! This is the biggest room in your house, isn't it? Geez, Rainbow, don't you any self control? Any willpower? Any-"
Twilight's tirade was cut off as Rainbow tossed a magazine at her. Reflexively, the unicorn caught and held it in a telekinetic field. The cover showed two unicorn stallions pressed against eachother in a... suggestive manner, one stallion nuzzling the horn of the other. Emblazened over the cover was 'Playfilly, Unicorn Edition!" with "Colt-on-colt action!" and "Horn-play!" listed beneath.
"You pretend you didn't see this, and you can take that home with you."
"... do you have anything with blue-maned stallions?"
There was a knock at Twilight's door, a rather loud rapid knock she didn't recgonize. As the mare opened the door, colored smoke and sparks exploded inwards as a loud female voice called out.
"Behold, Twilight Sparkle! Your rival, the Great and Powerful Trixie, has returned!"
The purple unicorn coughed and rubbed her eyes, before turning her attention to the blue unicorn in front of her, posing with her forehooves in the air and cape billowing in the wind.
"Um... who?"
"Trixie! The Great and Powerful! Your beautiful, brilliant, cunning and amazing rival!"
"... Oh! You're that show-off! Wait, that was a year ago..."
"And I have spent this time planning how I would show you up, Twilight Sparkle the Mediocre and Adequate!"
Twilight holds back an urge to throw one of her tomes into Trixie's face. It might damage the book, you see.
"After many months of trial and error, of unsuccessful attempts, I have mastered the art of summoning! Yes, that's right, the Great and Powerful Trixie has summoned an alien creature from another world! A creature never witnessed by pony eyes! A creature so unusual and bizarre that-"
Lero walks in from the kitchen, carrying two glasses of lemonade. He offers one to Twilight.
"Oh, thank you, Lero!"
The purple unicorn takes a sip as the blue unicorn stares at Lero with undisguised shock, jaw hanging. Lero turns to Twilight.
"Um, is she okay?"
"I'm not sure. I've never heard her this quiet. Though, I've only met her the one time before."
Trixie snapped from her shock, and got right into Twilight's face, their horns almost touching.
"You think you're so cool, don't you?! Well, you're not! I'm cool!! You're a loser hack who steals ideas!!!"
With that Trixie throws up a smoke screen, but the sound of the door slamming as she ran out ruined the efect somewhat.
"What was that about?"
---
On the outskirts of Ponyville, Trixie preapared her new wagon for travel, her entire body tensed with barely contained fury. The door in the back opened as a human wearing robes clearly of the same design as Trixie's cape stepped out, with curly black hair and a clean-shaven face.
"...So, are we not doing the show in Ponyville now?"
"NO, WE ARE NOT DOING THE SHOW IN PONYVILLE!!! Now get back in there and make me a sandwich!"
"...okay."
This last one was by Goat Licker.
Princess Celestia lay on her rug and sipped her now cold tea, hard and strong to prepare her for the changing of the guard ceremony due in ninety minutes. She winced when she heard Luna’s voice coming from the throne room, an interesting feat considering it was on the other side of the castle, several floors below. Celestia strained her hearing as she tried to make out Luna’s words – something about an invisible clergy? Never mind, Celestia decided. The night court is wearing my sister down.
With a gentle poof and a blast of quickly dissipating green smoke, a scroll appeared. Princess Celestia took hold of it with her magic and smiled warmly. Excellent, she thought, as she magically untied the red ribbon holding the floating parchment, letting the considerably long scroll unfold. Obviously Twilight Sparkle, judging by the length. Princess Celestia hoped it was about her budding herd relationship, as that was delightful and heart-warming reading. There was some vicarious feelings there as well – after all, over a millennia ago, Princess Celestia had chosen to abstain from romantic relationships and take the path of celibacy, considering both necessary self-sacrifices to better serve her ponies. That her most faithful (and beloved, though propriety demanded she keep that secret) student was taking her first steps into a serious relationship pleased her greatly. It helps that I really like Lero, Princess Celestia thought. Rainbow Dash too, of course. I wonder how much of this relationship Twilight Sparkle is comfortable with revealing to me.
Princess Celestia took a sip of her tea and began reading the scroll.
***
Dear Princess Celestia,
I never thought this could happen to me...
***
Twenty minutes later, Princess Celestia rolled up the scroll and muttered, “Apparently everything.”