//------------------------------// // Crazy Teachers for a Crazy School // Story: Those Awkward Teen Years // by Blue Breeze //------------------------------// Author's Note: Just a quick note to say happy Easter to those of you who celebrate it. If you don't, then happy Sunday anyway. Now, on with the story(carrying this one between stories because I'm not creative enough to come up with another gag). After the assembly, Zeph and I walk side by side in shock at what just happened. "Can you believe that?" I say. "No, I can't. What kind of principal beats up his own students? The weirdest part is how everypony just lets me get away with it." "Yeah, really. I'm a little scared now. He smiled at me when we were walking in." I shiver at the memory. It's like he was looking into my soul. "Let's just forget about it, Bluey. Let's just go to class." "Alright, Zephy." His eye twitches as I say that. "Don't call me Zephy!" "Whatever you say, Zephy." I say in a troll voice. "I hate you." I can already tell we're gonna be the best of friends. As the students walk through the halls, they freeze up as they see Mr. Charge walking through with Purple Blaze on his back. Please no bad touch. Blaze groans as Charge carries him. "Quit your belly-aching. You're lucky I'm being so nice to carry you to the nurse." Charge says. Blaze just groans in response. Charge comes to a door saying "Dr. Red Cross" with the word 'Dr.' painted over the word 'Nurse'. "Red Cross, got another one for you!" Charge calls out. A tall white pegasus, about Charge's height, with a red and white mane and tail and wearing a pair of glasses as well as a suit of armor walks out to meet his boss. He sighs as he looks at Blaze on his back. "You couldn't even go one day without beating up one of the students?" "Well, you know me. Besides, I wouldn't have done it if he didn't throw that pie at me and insult me." "You really need to work on your temper." "You just do your thing and I'll do mine. And your thing is to help the injured students." "Ugh, I'll take him. He should be better in no time." "That's what I like to hear." Charge gives Cross Blaze and leaves. Cross looks back at Blaze. "Why do I put up with this?" he takes Blaze into the back room(please no bad touch) and sets him down on a small bed. "Now, this shouldn't take long at all." Cross unfirls his wings as he begins to work on Blaze. Back to me Zephyr and I walk into our classroom and take some seats. A pegasus stallion that was litterally different shades of red all over with a cutie mark of a pencil and piece of note paper stands at the front of the class. Wait, that's Mr. Long Beard? He doesn't even have a beard! "Good morning, class. I'll be your history teacher, Mr. Long Beard. I am a fair teacher. All I ask is that you all respect me by paying attention in class and don't interrupt me. Do that, and we may actually get along. Now, are there any questions?" I raise a hoof up. "Yes?" "Why's your name Long Beard if you don't have any kind of beard at all?" He looks at the ceiling before sighing and shaking his head. "My mother was intoxicated from all the drugs the doctors gave her when she thought of the name. My father is the passive type, so he didn't even try objecting to it." Everypony in the class laughs at hearing this. Even though that does really suck, it's also really funny. "Okay, moving right along. I want you all to grab a textbook from under your desks and turn to page ten." Everypony reaches under their desk and grabs a textbook with the title "Equestrian History". Real creative title there, guys. We all open our books and turn to the page. Chapter 1: How Equestria was Made. "Now, it all started back when the three pony tribes..." Mr. Long Beard starts lecturing as everypony sits and pretends like they're actually paying attention. I'm pretty sure we all know this already. I hate it when schools do this kind of thing. As Mr. Long Beard continues to lecture, I hear a noise come from my right. I look over to see Zeph sleeping with his face in his book and a bit of drool coming from his open mouth. Really, Zephyr? I nudge him a bit in an attempt to wake him from his slumber. "Zeph. Psst. Zeph, wake up." "*snore* I wanna ride the pony." he says in his sleep. Wait, we are ponies! I nudege a bit harder. "Zeph, wake up before Long Beard sees." Looking back to check on the class at the worst possible time, Long Beard looks over to see me nudging Zeph. I quickly straighten myself to try and look innocent as Zeph still lays sleeping. He slowly walks up to Zephyr's desk, never taking his eyes off of him. Once arriving to the desk, he slams a hoof on it, walking up Zephyr immediately. "AH! Earthquake!" Zeph shouts as he wakes up. He notices Long Beard in front of him. "Oh." "What is your name?" "Zephyr Verve." "Well, first off, Mr. Verve, we are in the sky, there's no way you could feel an earthquake." everypony snickers at that. "And secondly, do you think my lecture is so boring that it warrants you falling asleep in my class and disrupting my lesson?!" he starts getting in Zeph's face and starts yelling. Geez, his red coat makes it look like his rage could make him burst into flames at any moment. Zeph looks at me and I just shrug. He's on his own here. His eyes start darting around. "Wel, I, uh..." just then, the bell rings. "I gotta go!" he then dashes off before Long Beard can chew him out more. I get up to follow after him. "Wait up, Zeph!" "Errr. You got lucky this time, Mr. Verve!" Long Beard shouts from the classroom. I catch up with Zeph in the halls. "He's right, you know." "Whatever. I'm just glad I got out of there alive." "Yeah. Hey, can I see your schedule? I wanna see if we have any more classes together." "Yeah, sure." He takes out a sheet of paper from his saddlebag and hoofs it to me. I start looking over the paper. "Aw, man." "No other classes?" "No, it's just that we don't have any other classes all the way til sixth period, the last period of the day." "Wow. That does kinda suck." "Oh well. See ya then, Zephy." I turn around and start waking towards my next class. "I told you not to call me that!" Like I said, best friends here. I keep walking to my class, just smiling from messing with Zephy(he mad). Next up: Math with Mr. Square Root. I reach the classroom and, yet again and shall do many more times, take a seat. Mr. Square Root, a blue pegasus stallion with no mane, a grey tail and mustache, and a cutie mark of the pi symbol, stands at the front of the room with a big smile plastered on his face. "Hello there, class. I'm Mr. Square Root, your new math teacher. I am pleased to have the honor of sharing such a wonderful topic with you all. Math is in everything. Without math, we would have nothing. No food, no buildings, no working plumming. It would be simply awful." This guy seems way too into his job. "Now I'd like you all to take out a sheet of paper and a pencil and do the problems I'm about to put up on the board." He takes a piece of chalk and starts writing about a dozen different equations up on the board. Ten minutes later "Alright, class. Pencils down." Square Root says. "Now, would anypony like to tell me the answer to number one?" A pony raises his hoof up. "I would, Mr. Square Root?" "Splendid. What is it?" "Thirty five." "WRONG!" he shouts, slamming his hooves on the front desk. "Math is vital to everything! We can't have any mistakes doing it! Getting a problem wrong like that could be the end of us all, you fool!" Everypony looks at him, flabbergasted. Isn't that a fun word? Mr. Square Root snorts a little bit before composing himself. "Now then, moving right along. Anypony have the answer to number two?" Okay, this guy is WAY too into his job. Author's Note: OC's galore in this story! Red Cross comes from RedCross and Long Beard comes from Zephyr. Yeah, he has two in this story. If an OC comes from someone other than me, I'll say it.