//------------------------------// // Shop 'til it Drops (part 4) // Story: The Sunshine Chronicles // by TwilightUCrazy //------------------------------// "Seventy-five hundred?! Are you yanking my tail, or what?!" she shrieked in gobsmacked awe. The store was so quiet that the pegasus's complaints echoed across the immaculate walls. If she noticed the other ponies glaring her way, she didn't act on it. She was too preoccupied by the price tag she clutched in her hoof, and trying to relate how one crib could cost so much. One well-dressed pony furrowed his brow in her direction and made his way through the store to confront her. "Ahem," he coughed into his hoof forcefully. "Madam, is there something that I might be able to help you with?" he asked in his unmistakable Trottingham accent. Rainbow looked up and gave him an annoyed sneer. "Yeah, you can help me understand something." She shoved the price tag into his face. "Is there some reason that this price is in elephant turds, 'cause this can't be Equestrian currency! I don't even know how I'd carry seventy-five hundred bits without breaking my back!" The manager quirked his eyebrow and sighed. "Madam, this particular crib is inlaid with the purest ivory donated by the elephant tribal elders of Zebrica. They believed the magic infused in their bones and tusks would increase the vitality of those exposed to it." He shoved his expensive-looking glasses up his muzzle and lit his horn, levitating the tag for her. "This crib is made out of materials over three hundred years old and was hoof-crafted over two months' time." Rainbow Dash blinked and looked down at the starch-white material. "Ivory, huh?" "Indeed, madam." "And two whole months for a crib?" A sigh. "Yes, madam." The pegasus scratched along her jawline. "And they said it increases their vita— vitamin... uhh..." The store manager lowered his ears and narrowed his eyes in an expression that probably expressed his disgust with her more overtly than he intended. "Vitality... madam..." "Awww, that's a bunch of horseapples. I mean, just look at me! I've got tons of... of that! And I sure didn't have a fancy crib when I was a filly!" "It perhaps would have been beneficial your cerebral growth... madam," he muttered, though it went unnoticed by the pegasus. "And what's so great about ivory for magic, anyway? Wouldn't a unicorn's horn be better for magic?" He sighed, and stared at her in as close to hostility as he was likely comfortable with in front of paying customers. "It is simply an old superstition held by the elephant tribal elders for centuries. It has very little bearing on the sale's price; that is reserved for the fact that ivory is extraordinarily rare and valuable... madam." Rainbow Dash was either oblivious to it, or simply didn't care about all the angry glares she was receiving from the other patrons. She hmm'd in mid-hover, agitating the spruced up storeowner's mane with every flap of her wings and ruining the extensive styling he'd had done. His eye twitched irritably, though it too was lost to Rainbow Dash. "Eh, I like the color, but I'd have to hang myself for paying that much for a baby bed..." "Woe that we should be so unfortunate..." Rainbow turned back to him with bright and optimistic eyes and smiled. "Don't suppose you've got anything less—" "No." The mare frowned and pouted. "Oh, come on, Jeeves! You've gotta have something that doesn't cost so much hiding somewhere in this place! Something more like a hundred bits?" Forehead twitching, the manager raised his nose with a huff and glared. "Madam, we are a retailer of only the finest furniture and home decor available. We sell only hoof-made furniture of the most exquisite detail and finest craftsponyship to the highest-paying customers in Equestria." He snorted a huff of steam into her face. "We certainly do not carry merchandise of that price range." Pouting, the pegasus slumped in mid-air and let out a dejected sigh. "You don't happen to know anyplace else I could shop, do you?" "Not for that price-range, madam!" He pointed a hoof towards the entrance. "Now if you would, kindly leave my store at once; you have disturbed my other customers." Blinking, Rainbow looked over to the other patrons, and her ears sagged. “Oh.” she said as she stepped around the store owner. “S-sorry about that.” As she turned to leave, she brushed against a well-dressed unicorn wearing a tux, contrasting well with his white coat and blue mane. “Rainbow Dash?” he asked in his distinctive accent. The pegasus blinked and looked up. “Rainbow Dash, dear! It is you! What a wonderful coincidence!” “Fancy-Dude?” she asked, her ears perking. She grinned. “‘What's up?” she said, raising her hoof. Fancy Pants chortled merrily and good-naturedly raised his hoof to receive her high-clop. “Quite a lot is ‘up’, Rainbow Dash! Lovely to see you again! I must say, I wasn’t expecting to run into you in Canterlot today!” Rainbow ruffled her colorful mane with a chuckle. “Yeah, well, life’s full of nice surprises, isn’t it?” The rest of the store’s occupants were speechless. Fancy Pants chuckled and nodded. “Indeed it is! I say, how is Rarity these days?” Blinking, Rainbow shrugged and rolled her eyes. “Oh, y’know… making dresses and… being fancy… and stuff.” “Yes, well then…” he said, looking around. “So, what drew you to our humble city today?” he asked. “I must say, you have an excellent taste in establishments.” Rainbow looked over her withers and over to the crib she had been eying. “Well, actually, I’ve got a kid on the way, and umm… I kind of was looking at cribs.” “I say! That is marvelous news! My sincerest congratulations, my dear! If I may be so bold, would I know the father perchance?” The pegasus blanched and had trouble continuing to hover as she stumbled over herself for words. “Uhh… y-you could say that?” The store manager, apparently having stood on the sidelines long enough, stepped nervously up to greet his newest guest. “W-welcome back, Mr. Pants, sir,” he said, wiping his brow and neck with a kerchief. “I-is there something I could be of service with?” “Well, perhaps you could, good sir!” the stallion said, turning back to Rainbow. “This lovely young mare is with child, and it seems she is in the market for a crib. It was this one she had her eye on I do believe, yes?” “Eheheh… yes sir. A lovely selection, that. A mare of fine tastes.” Rainbow scratched her foreleg and chuckled nervously. “Uhhh… I like the color and everything, but it’s too rich for my blood.” “Oh, what a shame,” Fancy Pants said with a frown. “Perhaps another establishment would be in order, then.” “Y-yeah… maybe.” Fancy Pants turned to the store owner and whispered something in his ear, before sidling up next to the mare and smiling. “Come then, shall we? You will accompany me for a while, won’t you?” “Uhhh… sure!” Rainbow chuckled, following him to the entrance and outside. Fancy Pants turned to her as soon as they were a block or so away. “I would advise against that particular store, Rainbow Dash,” he said, adjusting his glasses. “While they offer lovely and rare items, especially for collectors such as myself, their prices are often unreasonable for what you get in return.” “Yeah,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Kinda got the message with the price tags.” He chuckled. “Indeed, I trust you did.” “I mean, who would spend a thousand bits on a tea set?! Or ten thousand on a bed?!” “Nopony in their right mind, I can assure you! It certainly takes a pony of questionable tastes to spend such money on decorative items, I find,” he said with a wink. “Say, while we dally on the subject of taste, would you be at all interested in accompanying me to a fashion show I'm hosting this afternoon?” “A… fashion show?” “Certainly! It’s what I do for a living after all, my dear.” “Oh, well… right, uhh…” “In fact, that’s exactly where I was going just now when I thought I spotted one of Rarity’s friends shopping. And lo, here you are.” Rainbow wrestled with her scattered mind trying to come up with something she could say to turn the polite stallion down. He’d never done any wrong to her or any of her friends. She certainly didn’t want to be crude and insult him with a flat turn-down. Not only could it hurt Rarity’s reputation, but her career. Association, she learned from the fashionista, was everything. “Oh, uhh… well, gee, Fancy-Dude, I’d love to. Really. But I’m kind of looking for somepony right now, and—” A flash of orange appeared from off a side-street just to her left. A familiar blonde mane glinted like the sun, and her wife’s look of panic was unmistakable. “Applejack?” she blinked. “Rainbow, we got a problem!” she said through great puffs of air as she trotted up to her. The pegasus’s ears pinned as she rushed forward to tend to her wife. “Oh great. Can’t wait to hear it…” “Applejack! Of course!” Fancy Pants said with a warm smile. “Charmed to make your acquaintance again, darling!” The farmpony blinked and smiled. “Uhh… h-howdy do there, Mr. Pants,” she said with her best attempt at a curtsy. “Wouldja mind if Ah borrowed my uhh… friend, here?” she asked, pointing to Rainbow Dash. “But of course.” Applejack ushered her aside a few feet just so they were out of earshot. “What’s goin’ on?” Her wife leaned in and whispered. “I think Pinkie Pie might’ve seen me.” Rainbow felt as though all the color drained out of her. “Are you serious? How’d that happen?” Her mate fidgeted in-place. "Well..." * * * Applejack sighed in relief and reached up to grab the chain and flush, stepping up to the sink to wash her hooves off. She couldn’t believe how hard it had been to find a public bathroom in a sprawling metropolis like Canterlot, and the fact that it’d taken a confectionary shop to do so baffled her. “Do rich ponies not poop or somethin’?” she sighed to the mirror. Adjusting her mane a moment, a rapid clopping of a hoof on the door jerked her attention to it. “Whoever’s in there, could you please hurry up your business?!” she heard. Applejack rolled her eyes, swept her hoof through her mane. “Some ponies… sheesh.” She paused just before grabbing the door handle. Whoa, she thought. Deja-vu. Pushing the door open, she was nearly bowled over by a pink blur. Had she not ducked out of the way, she probably would have had her tail slammed and locked in the threshold. “Good gravy, girl,” she thought, trotting back towards the front of the store. “Yer almost as bad as—” Applejack froze, pupils dilating in terror. “Nah, it couldn’t be…” Frantically, her eyes darted across the throng of ponies over to the exit. Her heart practically stopped when she saw Twilight sitting at a table over a hot beverage and levitating a book before her. There was an empty chair with a small pile of cupcakes across from her. “YEOWCH!” she yelped, as somepony crunched her tail underhoof. Her familiar voice must have carried over the chatty crowd, as Twilight looked up from the book she was engrossed in, and Applejack just barely ducked in time to avoid her sweeping eyes. She peered between the forest of legs and limbs, waiting for her alertness to wither away. The princess shrugged at last and returned to her drink and book. Applejack’s relief was short-lived, because not two seconds later, she heard a toilet flush behind her. She quickly swam into the forest of legs, worming her way under the bellies of mares and stallions alike. Aw, nuts, she thought, eying the exit. Twilight couldn’t have picked a seat closer to it. There was no way out without being seen. Thoughts of awkward questions and even more awkward answers flashed through her thoughts as Pinkie trotted back into view. Her expression was as if she’d seen a ghost, and she was carefully looking the crowd over. The farmpony’s mind scrambled, and she quickly thought through her options. Twilight could sit there reading her book for hours if left uninterrupted and Pinkie could devour more cupcakes in that time than should have been physically feasible. Looking back towards the counter, Applejack bit her lip and made up her mind… * * * “You snuck out the back?” Rainbow asked, blinking. “How’d you manage that?” Applejack frowned at her and averted her eyes, her blush notable. “I don’t wanna talk about it.” The pegasus quirked her brow and let the barest hint of a smile onto her face, making a mental note to explore the subject at a more appropriate juncture. Applejack sighed. “Look, that ain't important right now. The point is, we gotta find a place to hide!” “Okay, fine, but unless you know somepony besides Rarity or Twilight who knows Canterlot—” Rainbow froze and side-glanced at Fancy Pants. He smiled pleasantly at them. Rainbow smiled back. “Hey, Fancy-dude. Got room for two in your party?” Fancy Pants absolutely beamed. “Why of course I do, Rainbow Dash!” Applejack blinked and yanked Rainbow closer by the foreleg, whispering into her ear. “Uhh… what do you think yer doin’?” The pegasus turned to the left and smiled at her mate. “Hiding us! Duh.” “I know, I know, but… at a fashion show?” her wife asked with a grimace. “Awww, come on. It can’t be that bad. We can always make fun of the dresses while we're bored,” Rainbow Dash breathed, smirking at her own brilliance. “ Besides, it's not like anypony’s gonna be lookin’ for us in a fashion show.”