//------------------------------// // Setting The Heist // Story: Nopony Escapes Stalag 13 // by DJSaltine //------------------------------// Burkhalter had finally left Klink’s office. Klink sighed as he sorted through the papers scattered along his desk. He’d only had the office to himself for five minutes when a knock echoed throughout the room. The sudden noise startled Klink, shaking papers around on the table. “Come in,” he stated, realigning his piles. Hogan opened the door and calmly walked up to a chair, his hands aiming for the cigar box resting on Klink’s desk. Klink placed a firm hand over the lid, hindering Hogan’s efforts. Taking the hint, Hogan sat back in the seat, nonchalantly starting the conversation. “I was just wondering, Kommandant, what are your plans for Applejack?” Hogan inquired as if they were talking towards the subject, leaning in slightly. Klink’s face appeared to sag as the weight of information returned to his shoulders. He glanced about the room carefully before leaning in near to Hogan. “They’re going to take her out of the camp and do tests on her.” He leaned back in his chair. “Cut her open. Stick her with needles ‘this long.’” He raised his index fingers nearly two feet away from each other. “Did Burkhalter actually say that?” Hogan asked, both sarcasm and belittling in his voice. Klink shivered a bit as he spoke. “Well, not exactly- but I could tell in his voice.” He tilted his head away in thought. “Who knows what else…” Hogan sat still as Klink thought about what horrible things the scientists would do- based on old mad-scientist, sci-fi movies. Without warning, Hogan leaned in and muttered to Klink quickly, “Meet me outside the barracks as soon as I leave.” He stood up and began to the door. Klink’s mind stopped rummaging as he looked up to Hogan. “But Hogan, why?” “I’ll explain when you’re there.” Without another word, Hogan closed the door, leaving Klink again in his silent room. * * * * * * “Alright, Hogan, what is it you want?” Klink shouted as he marched beside the waiting officer. Klink’s face beamed annoyance. As soon as the Kommandant was standing beside him, he spoke- although all that came out was hardly a whisper. “Now, you said they were escorting her out tonight…” “Yes I said that, Hogan,” Klink interrupting loudly, scoffing at his valuable time being wasted. “Well,” Hogan eyed the surroundings suspiciously, “what if I said I could get her safely home?” Klink turned his head around as well, watching for any nosey guards who could be eavesdropping. “You could do that?” Hogan nodded his head, bringing his voice back to a normal tone. “Easy. I just need you to let me and a couple fellow prisoners out for an hour or two with black uniforms, a car, and several of your guns.” Klink’s face turned from hope to a hearty smile. “Hogan,” he began, pointing his index finger for emphasis, “I always thought you were a funny man;” his face hardened up, “but this just proves how heartless you are.” His shoulders released into an eased state as his face fell into despair. “This is a serious problem.” “And this is a serious answer,” Hogan replied quickly, his face showing sincerity. “If you think we’d try to use that to escape, you can forget it!” He leaned back to the building behind him, muttering the last bit out quickly. “We’re just going to take Burkhalter prisoner and release Applejack to go back to wherever it is she came from.” Klink’s face was a mangled mess of bemusement. “Now I know you’re kidding.” He began to walk away. Hogan reacted quickly and got in Klink’s way. “On my word as an officer and a gentleman; no one will escape and no one will be hurt.” Klink looked confused. He pointed at Hogan, stating, “I can see you’re serious.” Klink pondered on the plan for a while. Caving in, he shook his head. “Alright, I’ll have a car waiting for you by the South exit at 9 with what you need inside.” He looked around, still uncertain. “Do you really think it’ll work?” “Trust me.” Klink smiled, twitching as he registered Hogan’s words. “Trust you?” “If you can’t trust your enemy, who can you trust?” Hogan responded, leaving before either party could get in another say. As Hogan walked away, Klink noticed a prisoner just out the corner of his eye. Turning, he noticed LeBeau walking around the camp, a fistful of flowers, grasses, and other weeds he could find growing in the dirt. Klink cocked his head at the odd sight. “Silly prisoners,” he chuckled. Nodding it off, he returned to the piles of paperwork he had yet to do. * * * * * * LeBeau and Newkirk were walking to the cooler, discussing loudly amongst one another an obviously pre-rehearsed routine. Newkirk shook a well-wrapped candy bar in his hands. “These companies are making it difficult to enjoy a nice bit of chocolate. They make the wrappers too hard to open.” LeBeau smirked. “You just need more muscles; like Schultz.” He looked away from his partner-in-crime to the large guard, who had his eyes shut and rested against the cool walls. “Ah, here he is.” Schultz snorted himself awake as voices filled his ears. He quickly stood up and pointed his gun at the prisoners. “Stop or I’ll shoot!” he spat. “Tell ya what, Schultz,” Newkirk began, leaning on the wall and waving the tantalizing bar in front of Schultz’s hungry eyes. “If you can get this opened, I’ll give ya the chocolate inside.” Schultz scoffed and stood up. “It’s no wonder you’re losing the war.” He chuckled lightly and extended his arm, handing over his ‘Krag-Jorgensen’ rifle. “Hold this.” Newkirk accepted and gave the candy bar. Schultz placed it between both of his meaty fingers and pulled in opposite directions, struggling to make a tear. All the while, Newkirk quickly slid the rifle behind his back, hiding its very existence. With an audible POP, the wrapper exploded its chocolaty-goodness all about the room, leaving only a couple bits of it left inside. Schultz’s face looked disappointed at the shameful loss of good chocolates. Sighing, he replied, “There. It’s open.” “See?” LeBeau began, staring to Newkirk. “I told you Schultz could do it.” “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Newkirk muttered. Schultz stood up straight and, with a bit of chocolate in his mouth, barked orders. “Now, give me back my rifle or I’ll shoot!” Newkirk looked LeBeau in confusion. “Did he have his rifle when we came in?” LeBeau looked at Schultz and back to Newkirk. “I can’t say that he did…” Schultz’s heart-rate sped up as he mumbled, “But, I-I-I thought I-“ “Sorry Schultz,” Newkirk sighed, feigning disappointment. “Looks like you lost your gun.” Schultz’s voice began to whine. “Oh no! I have to find it quick before the Kommandant finds out!” LeBeau tapped Schultz on his chest with the back of his hand. “Don’t worry, Schultz-ie, I’ll help you look!” Schultz’s face glowed in relief. “Oh thank you, LeBeau.” LeBeau began to walk out. “Oh, and if you find it, don’t worry, it’s not loaded.” Schultz looked back to Newkirk. “Can I trust you not to let anyone else in?” Newkirk placed his right hand on his chest. “I won’t let anyone lower enter through this door.” Schultz smiled warmly as he quickly ran towards the door. “Thanks, Newkirk.” Just as quickly as his smile had returned, it disappeared and he took off to search with LeBeau. Newkirk watched as Schultz exited, Newkirk’s eyes deceitful and smug. He stepped forward and placed the rifle against the door. A bit of a commotion began inside the holding cell- starting with the scraping of furniture and followed by a surprise conversation by Applejack and Newkirk’s superior officer. He didn’t respond, however- he just stood there, making sure nobody entered through the door. * * * * * * “So, I think I get it,” Applejack replied, her face contorted in thought. She looked down at a plateful of dandelions and assorted grasses, the appearance tantalizing to her senses. She looked up to Hogan, worry in her eyes. “You’re sure nopony’s gonna get hurt?” “I’ll make sure no one gets hurt,” he announced smugly, a confident grin plastered on his face. He began to return to the tunnel hidden behind a box, a plate of dark brown something-or-other in his hands- apparently the guards considered it as food and gave it to Applejack. Applejack’s eyes darted to the salad placed in front of her. Faster than she’d ever moved for food before, she dunked her head into it and lay waste to the greens.