//------------------------------// // A Feeling of Dread - 1 // Story: A Feeling Of // by Nuke //------------------------------// Staying in Ponyville for so long has taken a toll on me; I decided to take Speck on a little vacation to Hollow Shades via train. The scenery that flies by is so much more beautiful than that of Ponyville; it's like watching an early afternoon landscape being painted before my eyes. Maybe Ponyville's scenery is becoming dull. Two weeks have passed since the Summer Sun Celebration. Life for me and Speck hasn't changed much. We wake up together, we eat breakfast together, I go to work, she stays at home. Sometimes she visits me at Sugarcube Corner, sometimes she goes to the library to hang out with Reverie. The only real difference is that we kiss sometimes. I still don't know how to feel about that. A relationship I'm fine with, but the physical stuff? I love Speck to death, but she's still a pony. Feeling this way still tears me, because I know how she feels. She is not long for this world; I'll do whatever I can to make her last days the best that she'll ever have. I think, when the last day comes for her, I may adopt that little filly in the orphanage. I can only hope that this ordeal will not crush me completely. "Excuse me, sir?" My focus returns to the present. A little pegasus mare stands beside me, dressed up as a ticket-inspector. "Yes?" She looks visibly shaken, like she's seen a monster. Reasonable, considering I've been secluding myself to Ponyville. "I'm going to have to ask you to calm your friend down!" I scan the train car, only to find Speck sitting on the other side, beside some mare and her child, with a stallion sitting across from them. She is chattering excitedly about getting to go to Hollow Shades, as she presses her face against the window. The mare has a nervous look on her face as Speck speaks without end, and the stallion just looks perturbed. The ticket-inspector clears her throat and taps a hoof on the floor. I move from my seat and cross the train car as the inspector follows me. Speck moves from the window and smiles up at me. "Anon!" "Speck." We stand in silence for a moment, staring into one another's eyes. She tilts her head briefly before deciding that I've stopped paying attention. She hops back up beside the mare and child and starts talking about Hollow Shades again, and how we're going to visit her parents. The stallion grumbles incessantly. I slide my hands underneath her and pick her up, mouthing a quick "sorry" to the mare and child. "Put me down!" She wiggles, and for the first time, nearly escapes. We return to our seats, and the appeased inspector departs our company. "Speck, I understand you're excited. Believe me, if I could go home and see my family again, I'd be acting just the same as you. But you have to understand that you're upsetting the other ponies on this train." She looks away from me, toward the ground, and shuffles her hooves. "I'm sorry. It's just -" She looks up at me, a look of reserved excitement on her face, "- I get to see my parents after so long! It's been a year and a few months!" "Why'd you leave Hollow Shades anyway? It couldn't have been worse than Ponyville." I don't know why I've never asked this. "Oh, no! Hollow Shades was incredible! I mean, I grew up there and I had lots of friends." She blushes a little bit. "Would it be stupid of me to say I left to find you?" I slouch in my seat and look out the window. If she moved to Ponyville right around the time I came to Equestria, then it could be mere coincidence. If she had actually moved there to find me, then we would have met sooner, right? Maybe she's just trying to be romantic. "Of course not. Sometimes I like to think I was brought here to find you." Recently, my life in Equestria has seemed just a tad coincidental; almost like it was being planned. A bat-pony, all alone and with no friends, shows up at my door. I take her in, and we fall in love. A bat-filly lives at the orphanage, and has been there for a long time. Speck tries to avoid going there. I'm not sure if she knows about the filly or not; I, at least, have not told her. A fortune teller shows up in town, and says something about a great battle. After all of my lies about being a hero, I feel like this might be a test. I am much less worried about those lies coming to light. I worry the most for Speck. The bat-pony climbs into my lap and curls up with her chin resting on my arm. We look out the window as a large mountain range with a dense forest at its base comes into view. "That's a pretty forest," I say as I stroke her mane. "Yeah. Not as pretty as Hollow Shades. We're going straight there, right?" "No, I think we have to stop in Canterlot Mountain for a little while, until a train to Hollow Shades leaves." Speck starts scrambling around in my lap, trying to sit up. Her nose touches mine as her hooves pin my shoulders to the seat. "Did you say 'Canterlot Mountain'?! I've always wanted to go there! I've always heard it was beautiful, but I've only ever seen pictures!" She hugs me around the neck as tight as she can and kisses my cheek. Unfortunately, I'm going to break her heart. "Why are you getting so excited? We're probably only going to be there for an hour or two tops. We won't have time to go do anything." "Yes we will!" "No, Speck. We're going to Hollow Shades." "Can't we just stay over night? Please?" She starts to pout. She gets so adorable when she pouts, but I've grown immune to it. She's going to need some new tricks in order to break me. "Absolutely not," I say as I cross my arms and shake my head. Her wings and legs spread as she flops onto her back. "Fine! I guess I won't be kissing you any time soon!" A sly little smirk plays across her lips as I look down at her. I blush and rub her belly a little bit. "F-fine. You win. We can spend the night, but we're leaving first thing in the morning." The elated little bat-pony jumps up and hugs me around the neck once more. Her lips meet mine for a brief moment. "Oh, thank you Anon!" Speck climbs out of my lap and sits to my left, her face pressing against the window. I keep to my thoughts for a little while. If what she says is true, that she really did move to Ponyville just to meet me, then someone knew I was coming to Equestria. If Celestia and Luna's reactions were any indication, then neither of the two most powerful ponies in Equestria knew of my arrival. The only thing I can remember seeing on Earth that resembled anything from this world, was that little orange and white pony. I should have asked Illusa about it. More importantly, I should've asked her what my name was. I slap my hands against my forehead and sigh. It doesn't matter much, Speck knows me as Anonymous, so I'll stick with that. If I ever see Illusa again, I have so many questions for her. Speck presses herself against my side. I wrap an arm around her. Maybe I won't ask Illusa anything. Maybe some things are better left unanswered. I'm happy, just being here and being with Speck. "Anon? What happens when we die?" Zero to sixty in the blink of an eye. Good job, Speck. "What do you mean?" I hate subjects like this. Shortly after I moved to Ponyville, I had thought about this subject for a rather long period of time. I came up with the theory that I had died shortly before following that white pony back on Earth, and that this was my Heaven. It was a stupid theory, so I replaced it with 'magical inter-dimensional travel.' That had eased my mind greatly, for some reason. "Like... What happens? Where do we go?" There's a sense of impending doom in her voice. It concerns me greatly, as if she knows what Illusa told me. The look in her eyes tells me that I'm some sort of ray of hope to her. After all we've been through, she is the same for me. "I think we move on to a new life, in a new place. Maybe we wander around for a while, trying to figure out what's going on. Maybe we wait for each other and run off to have new adventures. What brought this up?" "Nothing. Just wanted to know what you thought." She snickers lightly and cuddles closer to me. *** Speck had fallen asleep, so I sat silently for the rest of the train ride. It gave me a chance to really notice how beautiful she is. A lot of the ponies in this world are cute and adorable. Only a few can I say are so breath-taking in their appearance, that I can describe them as beautiful. Those few are the princesses, and Speck. The train slows to a stop as it rolls into a tunnel in the side of the mountain. One would expect a city under a mountain to be dark and dreary, but Canterlot Mountain has a massive system of magic lanterns and light-posts that line the streets. In the upper reaches of the city, high up in its "sky," rests what one could easily mistake for a sun. I don't know what it is, but it lights the city during the day, and dims during the night. I rouse Speck from her sleep. She wobbles a little bit as she stands, so I pick her up and retrieve our bags from the overhead storage. A grumble sounds in my ear as she buries her face into my neck. All of her excitement earlier must have worn her out. I wonder if she's the only pony around that wears herself out by looking forward to something. The train-station is all too familiar. As I carry Speck off of the train, I half expect little miss Wizard-Guard to pounce on me out of nowhere. I luck out, cross through the station safely, and venture out into the large plaza. The city's architecture isn't as grandiose as Canterlot's; it has a more humble feel to it. Though, as humble as it is, it is still a high-class city. Which means it's going to be a strain on my wallet. I can literally thank Celestia that this little detour won't completely bankrupt me. "Wouldn't it be great if you just slept through our entire time here? I might even be able to board the next train to Hollow Shades, and just carry you along." She groggily lifts her head from my shoulder, but presses her forehead to my cheek and groans soon after. "If you board that train before we've been around this city, I will make you regret it." Her voice is muffled, but I still manage to listen. Her back arches and she stretches her wings with a grunt. "Then you need to wake up. We're here for you, Speck." An inexplicable burst of energy surges through her as she kicks off of my chest and starts to fly away. I follow her as she stops at the beginning of the street leading through the shopping district. It also leads to the elevator to Canterlot. "The shopping district? Really?" She nods excitedly. I look in the opposite direction, towards a street that leads to inns and restaurants. There should be a Gryphon bar thereabouts. "Tell you what. You head down that way and look around, I'll head down-" I point toward the inns "- that way and find us a place to stay for the night. Sound good?" I don't even get a reply before she zips off with her saddlebag. I shrug and head towards the inns, since I might as well get a room and drop our bags off. Most of the buildings I pass look like they're carved from stone; not necessarily a bad thing, I'd just rather stay somewhere warm-looking. I stop in front of a small cottage. It looks out of place, even though it's still built from stone; possibly due to the wooden framework built on it. My stomach protests to checking it out. Its growls and gurgles urge me to continue on. I'll have to check the inn out after I get something to eat. A faint, familiar smell fills my nostrils. It smells like burning wood. More than that, it smells like a barbecue. Like somebody's grilling... "Meat." I run as fast as I can toward the source of the smell. After a few minutes, I skid to a halt in front of a building that looks a bit run down. It might have something to do with the broken out windows and splintered front door. The door falls off of what remains of its hinges as I walk over the threshold. It lands on the floor with a deep, resonating "thud" that silences the entire establishment. Nearly thirty gryphon heads turn to me, their eyes boring through me. This situation would only be more terrifying if there were at least one pony in the building. "Hey, Freak!" A female bartender shouts to me. "What's yer business!?" I have to think fast, there's probably only one right answer that won't get me killed. "Meat." I thought too fast. The room erupts in laughter, and everyone goes back to their meals and conversations. If I could remember my middle name, I'm sure it would be "Smooth." I approach the bar and take a seat on one of the stools. The bartender gives me a menu, and I start to look over it. There is absolutely nothing but meat listed. It's like a dream come true. Since I came to Equestria, I have very, very rarely been able to eat meat. The last time was a few months ago, when the Cakes managed to surprise me on my birthday with a rather large bundle of meat. I indulged in spices and seasonings and cooked for days. I made things I could remember, and I made things that I'd never even tried. I made things that, under normal circumstances, wouldn't be thought of. With Speck around, I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to get away with that again. A thought occurs, since the subject of birthdays and Speck passed through my mind: I have no idea when her birthday is. Maybe I'll ask when I run into her again. "You gonna just drool over that menu, or are you gonna order something?" The bartender's voice startles me. "Yeah, it's just rare that I get to eat meat. Got anything you'd recommend?" "Do you value your health?" "Absolutely not." She takes the menu from me for a moment and flips it over to the back. Her claws dig under the plastic and she pulls a paper out from behind the menu. "Secret menu. Got a lot of stuff on there for gryphons with death wishes." "Are you challenging me?" "What? No, you dweeb! Just order, I got other customers waiting." I scan the list. It's all stuff that would be featured on lists of "The World's Most Unhealthy Foods." Meat wrapped in meat wrapped in meat, and deep-fried in meat grease. One dish in particular catches my eye. "The Artery Clogger," I say, setting the paper down. She raises an eyebrow, her face contorting into a look of disgust. I raise an eyebrow in turn, as if to say, "You should not have shown me this list if you did not wish to see the horrors of my choice." I refuse to let some plebeian scum judge my taste in meat; chicken stuffed with cow wrapped in bacon is a meal fit for real men. It also comes with a side of fried chicken strips, a cheeseburger, sausage links, and a cold glass of milk. Gotta stay healthy with that milk. "F-fifty bits." I drop my payment on the counter. She takes the coins hesitantly, clearly nervous of my raw will-power and desire of this meal. If I could remember my middle name, I'm sure it would be Smooth Unbreakable-Stride. The food comes out maybe twenty minutes later. Pretty fast, considering how much meat they had to cook. Hopefully none of it's raw. I stare at the plate, savoring how it all looks before I destroy it. One thing catches my eye; I glare at the bartender. "Something wrong?" "Yeah. What is this?" I hold up a small green stalk. "That's celery. It's customary with all of our dishes now, required by the Canterlot Health Ordinance of A.T. 134." The current year is A.T. 303. They are following an ordinance that is over a century and a half old. In an act of defiance, I break the celery apart and scatter the pieces over the bar-top. The bartender squints at me. I squint at her and start flicking the pieces at her. "Oh, for Celestia's sake! Don't eat it, for all I care! Just stop making a mess, you dweeb!" I stop and smirk. Victory is mine. "Hope you're happy, making others clean up your messes." She scoffs and walks off to deal with another patron. Time to enjoy this bounty. I pick up the massive chicken-bacon-beef ball and take a gargantuan bite out of it. My eyes widen and my jaw drops, a bit of food falling from my mouth. Tears well in my eyes. Never again will I judge how Speck reacts to her food. I shovel handfuls of food into my mouth, taking just enough time to chew before I swallow. It matters not how cautious I am; I would die happy knowing this was my last meal. The bartender stares from across the bar, absolutely disgusted and horrified, as I elicit lewd, depraved moans. She looks like she might vomit. I care as little as possible. ~~~ Speck giddily trotted through the shopping district, smiling and giggling as she perused the trinkets and wares being sold by vendors and shops. There were toy stores, jewelry shops, antique stores, and best of all, clothes stores! She rarely wore clothes, but absolutely loved how they looked. If she ever got cold, her friend would just bundle her up in his jacket or a blanket. She trotted into an outerwear shop, and was immediately greeted warmly by the shopkeeper. Highly populated cities like Canterlot Mountain were always incredibly receptive of bat-ponies. It was probably because most bat-ponies that drank blood preferred to drink at special blood-bars. In smaller places, they had to resort to drinking from animals, and sometimes other ponies. Speck, however, was a fruit-eater. She understood the wariness she received from other ponies, but never understood why she was never given a chance. It didn't matter, she had friends and was much happier. "Good afternoon, miss. Is there anything I can help you with?" The mare behind the counter sounded quite posh. "I don't really know. I'm just winging my way around." Speck snickered a little. The shopkeeper offered an awkward chuckle. "Well, I don't suppose I could interest you in a coat? It can get a little chilly inside this mountain." The bat-pony thought for a moment. Her friend had a coat with him, so she didn't need to worry about getting cold. "No thank you. How about hats? Do you have any hats?" "Unfortunately, no. There's a haberdasher up the road, though." The shopkeeper shook her head as she spoke. Speck thanked her and left. She continued up the road, passing by a few more shops until she came upon the haberdasher. A stallion greeted her as soon as she trotted in. "Afternoon, miss! How can I help ya?" "I'm looking for a hat! Do you have any that are big enough for a human's head?" "A... hoo mun?" Speck snickered as the haberdasher stared at her quizzically. "Yeah, it took me a while to get it. Umm... How about this size?" She held her hooves apart, about the width of her friend's head. "I think I might have just the thing!" The stallion trotted into a back room, returning after a few minutes. He held a strange looking hat between his hooves. The brim was rather narrow, and upturned in the back. Speck stared at it as she took it from him. She tried it on and giggled a bit as it fell over her eyes. The stallion held a mirror up in front of her as she tipped her head back to look at it. She tilted her head from side to side and tipped the hat. "I call it a 'fedora.' Designed it myself fairly recently, but no one's shown any interest in it. Only ever bothered to make one of it, and I haven't heard much about any other ponies making anything like it. It can be yours for only twenty bits." "I'll take it!" She knew it wouldn't look good on her friend; he rarely ever wore attire that would match that hat. He wore long slacks, dress shirts, and wool coats when it was cold, and would only ever wear anything minimal when in private. The hat would definitely look bad on him. Speck paid the haberdasher and left, bouncing the entire way to the train station and past, to where her friend had gone. She had to show him that wonderful hat! He would absolutely love it! ~~~ The last bite of meat slides down my throat as I finish off my meal. I can feel the inner workings of my body clogging up and shutting down. Now should be just as good a time as any to scout out that inn I passed by. I place a decent bit of bits on the counter as a tip and leave. Almost as soon as I reach the inn, I bump into a bat-pony wearing a rather large hat. "Hi Anon!" I do not recognize this pony, but she knows my name. "Do you like my hat?" I actually do not. Something about it infuriates me and causes me to feel great shame. Not for myself, but for its wearer. "No." "It's called a 'fedora.' I think it makes me look fedorable." The flashbacks hit me like a hurricane of spaghetti. I remember everything that has to do with this abomination of a hat. I remember everything I've ever felt about it, and in this moment, I am euphoric. Very calmly, I lift the hat off of the pony's head. Speck reveals herself from beneath it. I will not ask why, nor will I wonder why I wasn't expecting this. I am not surprised in the least. "An-" "No. How many of these exist?" "The haberdasher said it was the only one he-" "Good." I start walking towards the train station. "Anon? Where are you going? You said we were going to stay here for the night!" "We are." "Then... What are you doing with my hat?" "Shh." She tries to grab me, but I start sprinting. This hat needs to be disposed of. It cannot be allowed to exist in this perfect world. "Anon, stop!" "No!" I round the corner into the station plaza just as a train starts to chug along the tracks. If I can manage to throw the hat under the train, it will be destroyed. I will save this world. "Anon, please! I really like that hat!" I run straight through the station and vault over a turnstile. Ponies stare as I leap forward, flick my wrist, and cast the fedora under the train. I watch as it crumples and tears beneath the wheels. Speck lands on her belly beside me, tears starting to roll down her cheeks. I stand and strike a victory pose. "Why would you do that, Anon?" There's sadness in her voice. We all must make sacrifice for the greater good. "Personal reasons." I pat her head. "It was for the best. Now come on. I want ice cream." She perks up instantly and flies by my side. "Can we get double scoops?!" "No, Speck. You won't eat all of it." She whines and smushes her face against mine. "Yes I will! I promise! Besides, you owe me twenty bits for that hat." I grab her and ruffle her mane. "I don't owe you anything. You don't have a job, so those were my bits you spent." All I get in response is a harumph and some struggling to break free. "I suppose you can get two scoops, though. Wouldn't hurt, right?" She screeches with joy and hugs me tight around the neck as I let her go. "Oh, thank you Anon!" It's moments like these that make everything worthwhile. *** Speck bounces beside me as we stand at the counter of a small ice cream parlor. How convenient it is that it's only a few buildings down from the inn. "I want mango and pineapple scoops!" She stops bouncing to speak, and quickly resumes as she stares at the unicorn mare on the other side of the counter. "I'll have two scoops of vanilla." The mare nods and prepares our cones. I exchange several bits for them and walk with Speck over to a booth. She sits across from me and takes her cone out of my hand. She eats her ice cream in the most peculiar way. Her fangs scrape from the top down to the cone before she licks back up. It makes me chuckle a little bit. "What's so funny?" "The way you eat your ice cream," I say as I take a lick of my cone. She shoots me a dirty look and continues licking at her cone. "So, what're we doing first, when we get to Hollow Shades?" "I want you to meet my parents." I smile softly. "I can't wait." "They're going to love you." She giggles before adopting a more serious look. "What were your parents like?" "Well, they were nice people. Raised me to be a decent person. I didn't actually know them that well, though. Like, they just did what they had to do so I'd be able to survive on my own. I'm not saying they didn't do a good job, I just... They were almost strangers to me sometimes." I fall silent and stare at my ice cream, my brow furrowed in thought. "Anon?" "Hm?" "I think they did a wonderful job. I love you." "I love you too, Speck." We both struggle to finish our ice cream. I am still full from my meat feast, and Speck never finishes more than one scoop. I check my watch, only to find that it's nearing eight o'clock. "Did you ever find a place for us to stay?" "Yeah. Some quaint little inn a few buildings down. It looks nice enough." She nods sleepily, picks up her saddle bag, and starts walking toward the door. I follow her with my own bags. She stumbles a little bit as we walk, so I pick her up and carry her to the inn. A mare with a bow in her mane greets us as we walk inside. She smiles warmly and tilts her head. "Looking for a room?" I nod, starting to feel the weight of the food in my stomach bring me down. "It's ten bits a night." "That's fine." I hand her a coin and she trots behind the front counter to retrieve a key. "Your room is upstairs on the right. Room seven. Enjoy your stay!" I carry Speck upstairs and unlock the door to our room. Two beds sit against the wall with a couch, desk, small table, and some chairs opposite them. I drop Speck and our bags onto the first bed and barely manage to strip to my undergarments as I fall onto the second bed. Speck rolls off of the first bed and sleepily pulls the covers of the second out from under me. I reposition myself and rest my head on a pillow. She climbs into bed next to me and covers us both up. Her body presses against my own as she snuggles into me, her forelegs wrap around my arm and she covers me with a wing. My nose and lips press into her mane as I hold her close and kiss her. "Good night, Anon. I love you." The warmth of her breath floods over my neck as she speaks. "Love you too, Speck. Good night." My eyes meet hers briefly, before she nuzzles into my neck and falls asleep. Her rhythmic kee's and snores lull me into my own slumber.