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// The Lone Star Pony 
// Story: My little Short Stories 2- Paradise Edition 
// by Paradise Oasis 
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The Lone Star Pony

High noon ovah the badlands, an' only two ponies trot out in the scrochin' heat of th' day. The dry desert wind whips at mah long coat, blowin' sand in mah face so's ah have ta keep mah ten gallon hat down ta stop it from gettin' in mah eyes.  The spurs on mah hoofboots jangle as ah trot, makin' it the only sound ovah the unforgivin wind. A vultrue circles ovahead as we go along,  and ah turn ta the injun pony beside me, tah tell him the bad news. 

"Fraid' this heats' gonna be the end of us, Kemosabe." Ah inform him, a grim look on my face. "As the buffalo of yer tribe would say, we bein' in heap big trouble out heyah."

"For the last time, Tex, none of the memebers of my tribe talk like that!" Mah injin companion replies, speakin them fancy wards ah cain't even understand. "And the weather's not even close to being harsh out here, we just left the trading post ten minutes ago!" 

Pardin' fer startin mah story in the middle folks, better introduce mahself first. Name's Tex, cowpony o' Dream Valley, and the most rootinest tootinest buckaroo in all o' Ponyland! There ain't no stallion who can shoot faster, gallop farther, or run a cattle drive all the way from the southern boundaries o' the confederacy, all the way  across the border inta New Equestria. Mah good injun friend here is Wigwam, an orange stallion with a couple a' teepees on his flank, an' a whole headress full o' feathers coverin' his mane. 

Mah kemosabe an' ah are on our way back 'cross the badlands home afttah an arduous journey, an' ah just know there's a heap load a trouble watin' fer us out in these heayah wild lands. But this yellow stallion with the pink main ain't afraid of any ornery varmits, an ah'm ready ta put a bullet in thier flanks at a moments notice. 

"Keep close ta me, Kemosabe." Ah tell him, mah front hoof inchin' around the gun holster at mah waist. "Ah reckin there be bandits in these here hills."

"Blast it Tex, will you please stop talking like that!" Wigwam grumbles, rolling his eyes. "I really wish Surprise wouldn't let you watch those stupid western movies!"

Ah cain only reckon thait mah savage companion must be talkin about mah murky past, with some o' the words ah cain make out of his wierd lingo. Mah life was once as borin' as evereh other pony in Dream Valley, Workin the fields an' soldierin' laike all the other stallions, and no sense of who I was or what ah was supposed ta do with may life. Jest another pointless pony goin about pointless work around Dream Castle. Ah didn't even have mah cutie mark as a a-dult, how embarrsin, ahm ah raight?

But then, ah discovered them cowboy movies Megan brought with her from the human world, an' they changed mah life. Roy Rogers, Gene Autry, the Duke... these human fellers knew how ta live hard and rough on the open range, and played by thier own rules. Thait's the kind o' laife ah wanted ta live, and so I remade mahself into a cowboy. Not ah cowpony, like Applejack 'ol kin in Appleoosa, but a real human cowboy, with all the rough an tumble trimmings. Ah changed mah name ta Tex, after the great land of the cowboys,  an learned my self ta talk the talk an' how ta shoot, just laike them cowboys do in the movies.

"Wait, Tex... do you hear that?" Mah injun' friend stopped me with a raised hoof. "I think we have company."

Mah ears twitched, an' ah heard the sounds o' three ponies- outlaws, from th' way theyah sulkin around, instead o' talkin' to us- cralin around the rocks behaind us. They were porbably a couple a varmits from Dodge Junction, ah reckon, who followed us back to Ponyland thinkin' we were carryin' valuables o' some sort. Mah companion ahnd ah tensed ourselves, readyin fer the fight we knew was comin'.

Then... it happened.

The three ruffians sprung out from behaind the rocks, holdin thar weapons up in thier hooves. Like lightnin' ah whipped the Colt 45 outta it's holster and blasted the first one before he even haid time ta twitch. Wigwam dropped the second one laike a bad habit- his tomahawk flyin throgh th' air, and buryin' intself in the ornery critter's skull. The laist one lunged directly at me. only ta come face ta barrel with the winchester ah pulled otta mah coat.

"Go ahead, ya ornery sidewinder." Ah declared, clicking the hammer on the shotgun ah held at the outlaw's head. "Make mah day!"

Thait's mah special talent, ya see... these guns earned me mah cactus cutie mark. Ah'm the best shot in all o' Dream Valley- which isn't sayin much, seein as haow me an' Barncle are the only ponies who carry firarms. Megan brought these two guns from her world for me as gifts, and the castle's blacksmith modified the guns fer mah hooves and supplies me with bullets. Ah cain see the bullet an' mah target movin' in slow motion, makin it easy ta shoot down any taget no matter how fast it's movin. Yep, good ole Tex cain shoot down a chargin minotaur at two miles, and there ain't no ornery outlaw who's gettin the drop on me!

"Get these other two rattlesnakes cleaned up here, kemosabe." Ah tell mah partner with a smile. "Ahm takin this lowlife back ta Dream Castle dungeon, then ah got ah certain mare named Surprise a 'watin fer me!"

"For the last time, don't call me kemosabe!" Mah comapinion yells in his war cry, as ah ride off into the sunset. "I don't even know what that MEANS!"