Undeliverable

by ocalhoun


Return to Sender

Dear Derpy,

I really want you to know I didn't mean those things I said about you back in flight school. We were just kids, you know, and kids do that kind of stuff. I know, I know, that's no excuse, not really. Still, I'm glad you didn't take it too hard, I guess. I mean, I hope you didn't take it too hard. I'm not sure now.

What I mean is, I'm sorry. You didn't deserve it.

–Still friends, Rainbow Dash

* * *

Hey, Ditzy Doo,

Remember that time you promised me we'd do a gig together? With that weird guitar thing of yours?

I spent weeks disaster-proofing my setup, and I've armor plated everything. We should be good to go, no matter what happens this time!

So, when are we going to get around to it, huh? You'd better tell me!

–Stay cool, Vinyl Scratch

* * *

Dear Derpy,

Hey, remember that time we made muffins together? Even though the oven exploded and then exploded again, and even though the Cakes banished me from the kitchen for a week, I had tons of fun! Who knew you could make jelly bean muffins? I sure didn't!

Ooh ooh! Two muffins are in an oven getting baked, and one says to the other, 'Gee, it sure is getting hot in here!” The other muffin looks at him and says “Woah! A talking muffin!” Ha! It's funny, right? Because muffins don't really talk. I...

It's not the same, I know. I wish you would come back so we could make more muffins and have more fun times. I wish you'd come back even if we don't.

–Missing you, Pinkie Pie

* * *

Dear Mommy,

Mommy, where did you go? Missus Carrot says you went on a vacation, but you promised me that you would take me with you on a vacation soon. Why didn't you take me?

She won't tell me where you went. Sometimes I think they don't know. I wish I knew where you went so I could go with you.

I drew a picture for you, but Missus Carrot said it would be better to put it on the refrigerator than to put it in the letter, so I did. I hope that means you'll come home soon and see it!

I miss you, Mommy. I hope you'll come home soon.

–Love, Dinky Hooves

* * *

Miss Ditzy Doo,

You always were a ray of sunshine, brightening our office every time you came to deliver the mail. Our Tuesdays and Thursdays are a lot quieter now. And, well, there's just something missing.

We miss you, Ditzy, we miss you more than we could ever have known.

–Please come back, Mayor Mare

* * *

Derpy,

Oh, we had the best of times, you and I. The best of times. We'll always have that, I suppose.

I just wanted to say, though... I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I thought you would be safe when I left you here, safest place in the world. Maybe it's just that you wanted to keep traveling... I still hope you're safe, somewhere. And I hope I'll see you again, someday.

–The Doctor

* * *

Dear Derpy Hooves,

Me and Bulk have been talking about putting another relay team together, not really for competition, actually, just kind of, I guess, to have some fun? We keep looking for a third member. Rainbow Dash is too busy these days. Well, I mean, she looks busy every time I think about asking her, so I haven't really asked her yet. But I'm sure she'd say no because she's too busy.

And... I don't know. It seemed like we worked well together when we had you with us. We think, or I guess I think, that you could really bring the team together again.

So, maybe you could come back and practice with us? I would really enjoy it. But if you don't want to, that's okay, I guess. I don't want to force you to come back if you don't want to.

–I miss you, Fluttershy

* * *

Dear Derpy Hooves,

Times have been hard in the office since you left. Post Haste has been working double time just to make up for the backlog, and still letters are piling up. I'm getting too old for delivery routes, but I keep going as much as I can, just the same, because there's nopony to replace me now.

I know I was hard on you sometimes for losing letters or winding up in the wrong city and all, but it's okay, really. We're all fallible, you know. I know that better than most. You didn't leave because I yelled at you, did you? I really hope not.

Please come back, Derpy. We need you. And... I miss you. It's lonely in the office now. Post is gone most of the day on deliveries. There's nopony to talk to, and the place is just so... empty.

–Best Regards, Mister Zippy,
Postmaster, Ponyville, Equestria

* * *

Dear Derpy,

It's been very quiet on the farm ever since you left. Dinky asks about you a lot. I wish I knew what to tell her.

The new chicks have hatched, and they're starting to show their grown-up colors now. We have seven white, two grey, and one really neat speckled one. Scruffy had her litter of puppies, too. They're really cute, and I'm not sure if I should let Dinky have one or not. She keeps asking me to let her keep one. And I got that door you always complained about fixed. It doesn't make that squeaking sound anymore.

I guess it was silly, really, to think that fixing the door would bring you back. That's not the real reason you left, is it? I would think you went off with that doctor again, but he comes by from time to time, asking about you. He says he doesn't know where you are. I thought maybe you went off to find Dinky's father, but you know what? He actually came back! He said he'd heard rumors, that he worried about you. He's actually here at the farm, taking care of Dinky now, imagine that! Don't you at least want to see him being a good father for once? Where did you go? Why did you go? Sometimes at night, when I can't sleep – I have a lot of insomnia these days – sometimes I think you left because you thought Ponyville would be better off without you.

It isn't! Ponyville needs you, Derpy. We want you back!

And, well, I know I shouldn't say this. A letter isn't the right time or place for this kind of thing. But... I just have to. It's not just Ponyville that needs you, Derpy. I need you...

I love you.

Please come home, Derpy, Please come home.

–Love, Carrot Top