//------------------------------// // War of the Worlds (a) // Story: The Majestic Tale (of a Mad-Pony in a Box) // by R5h //------------------------------// The Doctor ran his hooves through his hair, as if to comb ideas from it. Adelbrand still fought the Bullbot in the adjacent corridor with no success. Ermi lay under the control panel, hooves working frantically to no obvious end. Lorio stood close to Qeta's body, his head bowed in sympathy. Applejack watched her continue to bleed with the gritted teeth of someone trying to cope. Rarity's eyes focused on the blood pooling on the floor. Pinkie's eyes gushed tears. So, they were all being as useless as the stiff herself. Bon Bon, on the other hand, felt a plan coming to mind. “Destroy yourselves,” she muttered. Then she grabbed Rarity's face with both hooves and forced her to make eye contact. “Destroy yourselves.” Rarity looked at Bon Bon like she didn't believe she existed. “What?” “I need you to tell me the Betan words for 'destroy yourselves',” Bon Bon said. When Rarity did not immediately respond, Bon Bon grabbed her neck. She gasped from the pain. “Now,” Bon Bon said, shaking her, “or we all die.” And ponies call me crazy. “Um... pih kadan,” she stammered. “BULLBOTS!” Bon Bon roared, standing up and adopting Macrin's voice. “PIH KADAN!” There were three Bullbots in the room with them, and she could hear Adelbrand fighting one in the corridor beyond. At once, the three she could see lifted their horns, plunged them into their bodies, and collapsed to the floor. The sounds from the corridor stopped as well. Without stopping to look at the others staring at her, she crossed the room and entered the corridor, then reached over the wrecked Bullbot to press the door button. Is it supposed to be this loud? she wondered, noticing the slowly increasing distance between their module and the rest of the ship; she could already see jets of flame from the rockets on its bottom. With a grunt of effort that got swept away by the wind, she pushed the Bullbot in front of her through the door, whereupon it promptly disappeared from view. She returned to the room where the Doctor still stood. “Okay, I've done my fair share!” she yelled—the rush of air past the ship made any other volume useless. “Now get your head in gear and figure out how to get us over there, or I will hit you again!” “I'm aware!” he yelled back, looking past her and screwing up his face for a moment. “Ermi!” He crossed the room and bent down near her. “Any luck with the controls?” “All I can reattach is the thrust,” she said. “And it'll have to be manually operated. Someone will have to stay—” “Not happening,” he said, pulling out his sonic screwdriver and shoving it into the control panel's guts. Its barely audible whistling noise was succeeded by a roar to equal the wind, and Bon Bon's knees bent involuntarily as the floor pushed up. “We've got thirty seconds of maximum thrust!” the Doctor announced as he stood. “No one else dies today, you understand? Not one soul! Now come on!” He dashed to the corridor. Ermi followed on his heels. Lorio hesitated for a moment, his eye lingering on Qeta's wound, but he followed as well. Pinkie and Rarity, however, did not move. Bon Bon growled and stepped forward, but Applejack intervened first, saying, “Girls, I know it's awful, but we need to move.” With her help, the two rose to their hooves and exited to the corridor. Bon Bon was the last to leave the room. With all the other bodies in front of her, she couldn't see much, but it looked like the other ship was in front of them again, and their ascent was slowing. Within a few seconds, they'd cleared the top of it, and only sky was visible. They'd be able to land on it if they jumped far enough. “Now, Captain!” the Doctor yelled, waving Adelbrand—who was at the front of the line—toward the door. “You first!” “A captain should be the last one—” “NOBODY CARES!” Bon Bon screamed. “Get moving!” Adelbrand stepped back, then charged and jumped off the ship. Whether he'd made it or not, Bon Bon couldn't see. Ermi and Lorio were next off, each displaying impressive velocity in their running starts. Then, Applejack pushed Pinkie and Rarity forward, and they jumped. Applejack was next, and then it was only Bon Bon and the Doctor inside the module—which was no longer rising; the roar of the engines had given out. Bon Bon could see everyone else on top of Duchy-3, but that ceiling was rising. “Move!” the Doctor yelled. “You go first or I will push you,” she said, glaring at him. The Doctor hesitated, then gritted his teeth and ran forward, jumping the gap between the two ships with a yard to spare. Bon Bon steadied herself, then ran with all she had and jumped into the night. Within a second, she realized that she wouldn’t make it; the ship in front of her was rising too fast. She sighed minutely and let her shoulders slacken as she flew toward the Duchy’s hard side. Good try. With any luck, striking it would knock her out before— She felt something loop around her stomach, then tighten. Before she could determine what it was, she crashed into the side of the ship, which did not knock her out but did hurt like Tartarus. She gritted her teeth against the pain, then noticed that she was rising inch by inch, and that the thing around her stomach was a rope. She looked up to see the rest of Applejack's lasso pulling her up in short jerks. Before long, she'd cleared the corner of the ship and was sprawled on its top. Applejack poked her head. “You got a lot more daring than you have leg strength, miss. Next time, don't jump last, all right?” “Whatever, thanks,” she panted, trying to get her breath back. Almost compulsively, she tilted her head over the side of the ship to look at the doomed modules plummeting to Equestria. As she watched, lights seemed to emerge from the blackness beneath it, describing the shapes of soaring towers. Exactly the kind of towers, in fact, that would respond poorly to being struck with a spaceship. “Hey,” she said, lifting her head back over the edge, “we were flying to Canterlot earlier, weren't we?” The faces of the ponies around her blanched. Applejack and the Doctor responded first, running to the edge and looking over. “Oh, Celestia,” Applejack said, as the modules continued their descent toward the city. The Majestic Tale (of a Mad-Pony in a Box) S1E6: War of the Worlds Written by R5h It was strange, watching the modules fall. For all their size, they seemed to drift like a leaf on the wind. “Attention, feeble Equestrians of Canterlot.” Luso's voice, amplified by an unseen speaker system, drowned out even the rushing air and the engines' roar. The Doctor certainly could not hear his own sonic screwdriver, currently pointed at the falling modules. If I can just activate the engines remotely.... Nothing was happening. He silently cursed Betauran craftsmanship. “We are soldiers from the planet Betaurus, and we come with a simple aim; war, such as your pitiful minds have never imagined! War to stir the blood of the species! See how we have discarded a third of our ship just to strike the first blow! What can you do to equal that, Equestrians?” The Doctor threw himself to the edge, letting almost half of his body lean off in a desperate attempt to get his screwdriver close enough. “Applejack!” he yelled. “Lower me down with your lasso! I need to get in range!” “Are you crazy? It's too dangerous!” He pulled his head up from the brink and stared at her. “Thousands of people are going to die!” “They'll do that anyway.” Ermi was by his side now, watching the falling modules with a grim expression. “You'll never access one of my ship's controls from the outside, no matter what sort of device you've got.” “But—” The Doctor took a sharp breath in through his teeth. The module had lost its leaf-like quality, and now simply plummeted. “Doctor.” Bon Bon was next to him now, helping him stand. “You tried,” she said, fixing her eyes on his own. “Don’t forget that.” He nodded at her—he didn't have any words left to say—then fixed his eyes on Canterlot below. He could at least do that. The modules continued to fall, and couldn't have been much more than a hundred feet away— “Allow me to retort.” Then, somehow, they weren't falling at all. The modules didn't slow down; they simply halted in place. Then, they started glowing the white-hot color of molten metal, and the corners—the edges—the whole of the structure sagged inward. Within seconds, what had been a box became a sphere of liquid metal, glowing like a new sun. The Doctor had to raise a leg to shield his eyes. “I do not know who you are, and I do not care where you are from.” The Doctor recognized the voice as Princess Celestia's, magnified to such a level as to render Luso's earlier announcement pitiful. He detected no anger in her voice: just steely resolve. “But know this: I am Celestia, Princess of this land, and I will not permit any threat upon my subjects.” The metal mass floated in front of the ship, presumably to let the pilot take a look at it. Without warning, it rocketed skyward so quickly that the Doctor's eyes could hardly follow. He looked upward to see its light fading, until it looked like a mere shooting star. “Your projectile has been sent on a crash course with the sun. And if you send anything else this way—so much as a speck—I will burn it and you from the sky with nuclear fire.” Now there was a hint of fury in her voice. “Land, depart, or attack once more—make your choice, and I will make mine.” It might have been the Doctor's imagination, but he could swear he heard cheers from Canterlot. “Not good,” he said. “This is exceptionally not good!” “What, the part where we're going to die?” Bon Bon said. “Oh, I wish that were the worst of it.” The Doctor ran a hoof backward through his hair. “At this rate, Equestria's first gesture toward alien life will be an act of war. We can't let that happen.” “It's worse than that,” Adelbrand said. “Our last transmission to the Archdukes before the crash told them of our current position. If your Princess destroys the ship, and they stop hearing from us, they'll be forced to assume the worst and retaliate. Macrin—” he spoke the name with such vehemence that he stopped to take a breath before continuing “—will have his war.” “Yeah, and we're also going to die,” Bon Bon said. “Yes, and that.” The Doctor raised his voice. “Is there any way we can get in contact with Celestia?” “The only public address system that can be heard from outside the ship is the one on the main bridge!” Lorio said. “They used to all work, but... well, there's actually a funny story about that. Qeta tells it better.” Somehow, even under the rushing wind, it seemed suddenly quiet. “Told it better,” he repeated, lifting his head to watch Qeta’s molten tomb disappear over the horizon. Behind him, Adelbrand looked down at the captain's insignia on his vest and pressed a hoof against it. Ermi, who’d been working at something on the ship's surface, stopped for several seconds. Applejack doffed her hat and rested it on her chest. Pinkie Pie pulled the blue band from her hair and stared at it. “We were gonna be pen pals,” she said, tears forming again in her eyes. A second blue band floated over to Pinkie's hoof and landed on its twin. “There, there,” Rarity said, her horn alight with magic. The red cape on her back rose and fell onto Pinkie's, its front corners tying themselves into a neat little knot on her neck. Rarity, with an expression much more composed than Pinkie's, rested a hoof on her shoulder. “Please don't cry, Pinkie. I don't think she'd have wanted you to cry for her.” “Yeah, well, I don't think she wanted to die horribly either,” Bon Bon said. Pinkie Pie and Rarity's heads snapped up with matching expressions of horror to stare at her. Bon Bon didn't seem to notice, and continued, “But here we are, and, well....” She shrugged. “Here she isn't. Now, if you're done leaking, we need to get inside the ship.” Pinkie's mouth moved like that of a gasping fish, and Rarity's eyes narrowed. Applejack, however, took a step forward and said, “Oh, that is it.” “Eh?” Bon Bon said. “Okay, so the aliens here are all crazy—fine, I can live with that, culture differences and so forth. But you!” She jabbed Bon Bon in the chest. “Did someone swap out your heart for a lump of coal?” Bon Bon rolled her eyes, then responded in Applejack's voice. “Howdy, y'all, I'm Applejack and I'm too busy worryin' about hurt feelin's to focus on the whole not-dyin' thang—” She was interrupted as a second jab of Applejack's hoof came at her throat. “You'd best stop that,” Applejack said quietly, “or I'll knock your lights clean out.” Bon Bon gritted her teeth and stopped talking. Applejack turned away, rubbing her temple in frustration. “Look, just tell me one thing, Miss Super Actress. How in Equestria are you supposed to be the new Element of Loyalty, when you just don't care?” “CAN'T!” Bon Bon screamed, right in Applejack's face. Her mouth contorted into a snarl. After a few seconds of relative silence, and several deep breaths from Bon Bon, she continued in a voice no calmer than before. “You want to know what my problem is? Fine! We're doing this now! Get your sad flanks downstairs and you'll all get to hear exactly what the hell is wrong with me! It'll be fun!” She stomped past Applejack and down the length of the ship. “Get us inside now!” she yelled at Ermi. Ermi's facial expression didn't change; she simply poked her horn into an indent in the ship and pulled up, opening a hatch. Bon Bon practically dove inside, leaving the rest of the group to follow her. Lieutenant Macrin made one detour on his way to meet with Luso, and stopped in one of the ship’s bathrooms to wash the blood from his horns. As he pulled his head out of the sink, he saw a flicker of movement behind him, but ignored it to dry his horns and face. Only then did he finish his journey to the main bridge. The Duchy's modules were capable of operating independently, and therefore each had its own bridge, but none were as magnificent as that of Duchy-6. As its door opened, Macrin saw the impressively ornate control panel, inlaid with onyx and rubies, beneath the vast window to the outside—sadly cracked, after their unpleasant landing on Equestria. To either side of the bridge were the large fissures Ermi had mentioned, which let notes of darkness and engine noise into the room. In its center was Luso, and judging by the way his back heaved, he seemed on the verge of hyperventilation. Macrin stepped forward. “Pilot, control yourself!” Luso stared at him for a few seconds, then gesticulated at the window. “Did you see that?” “See what, pilot?” Macrin's jaw tightened, but he kept himself in check. After all, he was the acting captain. “You'll remember I have not been on the bridge.” “But did you at least hear?” Luso wiped some sweat from his forehead. “I mean, I was just trying to cover for you dropping a third of the ship, and then she... she... holy Archdukes. When the orange one said their princesses moved the sun and moon, I thought she was lying!” “So when this Celestia said that she sent the modules to the sun....” “She didn't just do that. She melted them. Five thousand tons of metal, and she melted them.” Luso rubbed his eyes. “Right in front of the window, too, and bright enough to just about blind me. Macrin—” “Lieutenant.” “Lieutenant, what are we going to do?” Luso turned back to the control panel. In the reflection on the window, Macrin saw the fear on his face. “I suppose... there's the missiles on the top of Duchy-3. We might be able to launch them without her noticing, keep them out of her line of sight, then have them come in from the side... but what if she notices?” Luso's breathing was quickening again. Macrin stepped forward and clapped a hoof on his shoulder; the boy needed encouragement. “Never forget, soldier; in wartime, he who risks nothing gains even less.” Luso half-looked at him, if that. “I, uh, suppose so, Lieutenant.” “Macrin.” “Lieutenant,” Macrin corrected, out of reflex. “That's, um....” Luso gave him a queer look. “That's what I said, sir.” “Macrin, it's me.” He nearly opened his mouth to respond, but... That voice…. Macrin shook his head slightly. I know it's not her. “Macrin, you need to stop.” She was there, in the reflection on the window, standing behind him. Her chest was whole. Against his better instincts, Macrin chanced a glance backward, but the room was empty save for him and Luso. When he turned back to the window, his reflection had buried its horn in her chest. “Sir?” Macrin shook his head again, more violently this time. Blood gushed from her wound and mouth. “Macrin,” she choked out, “it's me.” “Sir!” He finally recognized this voice as Luso's, and shut his eyes tightly for several seconds. When he opened them again, the apparition was gone. “Yes?” he asked, relaxing slightly as he faced Luso. “You were just....” Luso didn't seem to know how to finish the sentence, and changed tacks. “I just needed to check, sir. I know you must have had good reasons to drop Duchy-1 and 2, and I'm not going to ask, but... all of our people made it off, right?” Noting the concern in his pilot's face, Macrin did his best to compose himself. “Yes... yes, of course. I used the Bullbots to... to detach the modules.” In fact, he'd heard the modules' engines re-engage not long after he'd left them; perhaps it was his paranoia, but it seemed likely that they had all escaped. All except for her. I warned her, he told himself. I warned them all what would happen if they followed. She knew the risk. “Sir, are you feeling well?” Luso asked. With some effort, Macrin wrenched himself back to reality and noted that Luso seemed no more relaxed than himself. “It's only fatigue,” he said, rubbing his forehead. “It's been a long night for us all. Actually, could you activate the intercom?” Luso raised an eyebrow, but pressed the relevant button on the control panel all the same. Macrin spoke loudly and clearly—at least, he hoped his voice was clear. It was getting harder to tell. “Attention, Bullbots. All future orders will only be accepted if they are given in person. End command.” When Luso looked at him askance, he explained, “The one called Bon Bon has a talent for vocal mimicry. It's possible she could give false commands by mimicking my—” A splash of red appeared in his peripheral vision from the direction of the window. He blinked, and continued, “By... mimicking my voice.” “Sir, are you certain you feel well?” Luso asked. “I... perhaps not.” Macrin let his shoulders slacken just enough to convince Luso of his honesty. “Figure out a way to continue our attack. I'll go see if your brother left any pertinent medication on this module. And I'll activate more of the Bullbots... for detainment purposes.” Without waiting for Luso's assent, he turned around and left the room, taking care not to glance at the window. The medicine room was not far from the bridge, and was filled with mostly identical lockers; only small pieces of marked tape distinguished each one. Macrin stopped in front of the one labeled Crazy Pills—Lorio's attempt at humor—and opened it up to reveal shelves filled with similarly labeled plastic containers. Let's see... Headaches, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Macrin. He sighed. Very funny, Lorio. If you didn't make it off the module, then I won't miss your sense of humor. “Macrin, you need to stop.” He’d never noticed, but the containers were slightly reflective. He looked straight forward, at the one labeled with his own name, and saw her face reflected behind his own. Her expression was one of deep concern—and then she stiffened, and there was a note of panic in her eyes, and a wet thunk rang in his ears— He slammed the locker door. Never mind. I'll soldier through. After a deep breath, he turned sharply, militarily, and exited the room. It was time to wake the Warbots. “Attention, Bullbots.” These words came over the intercom as the eight of them—Bon Bon, Rarity, Pinkie, Applejack, Ermi, Lorio, Adelbrand, and the Doctor—entered the ship. It was a nondescript corridor, as gray and lifeless as the rest they'd seen. “All future orders will only be accepted if they are given in person. End command.” “Damn,” Bon Bon said, with the most forced shrug the Doctor had ever seen. Anger still lined her face. “I guess he caught on to the voice changing thing.” She leaned against a wall. “Well, it was good while it lasted. So, let's do story time.” “Look,” Applejack said, “I don't, uh, wanna push you into anything you're not comfortable with—” “No, no, it's fine.” Bon Bon shifted against the wall and grimaced. “Though speaking of comfortable, is there somewhere with... chairs?” “Follow me,” Adelbrand said, taking the lead. Within the minute they'd arrived at a large room similar to the one in which they'd held their earlier meet and greet; this one was smaller but looked more lived-in. Chairs and tables sat in familial disarray, and the Doctor guessed that whereas the previous chamber had been a meeting place for aliens, this was where the crew met on their own time. Six comfortable-looking chairs were clustered around one table; Bon Bon took one. She pointed at Pinkie and Rarity. “If you want to grieve some more, you should get that out of the way, because apparently now is time-wasting... time.” She snorted. “That was awkward. Where were we?” “You, ah... your story,” the Doctor said, pulling a second chair—not from the same table—under himself. “Yeah, okay. So, hooves up, who's lost a family member?” Bon Bon immediately raised her hoof, but no one else did. She cast an annoyed glare around the room. “Come on, really. Hooves up. Don’t be shy.” After a few seconds, Applejack and the Doctor lifted hooves, as well as Lorio. Applejack glanced at him in surprise. “And it's supposed to be sad, right?” Bon Bon said. Applejack nodded. Bon Bon chuckled. “I was, like, seven. Eight?” She rubbed her head for a moment. “Yeah, eight. And I was just on the playground at recess, with Lyra, and having fun, and then I turn around and there's my mom and she's barely keeping it together. She told me, uh... she told me that my uncle Car Bon—her brother—just died. And she had to get me from school right away, so we could go to the funeral as a family. “Lyra, of course, started crying right away,” Bon Bon said, and then—as if someone had twisted a spigot on her head—she started crying. Huge tears descended her face, dripped off newly-blubbering lips, and landed on the wood below. Her shoulders slumped, her face deflated; as far as the Doctor could tell, she was feeling real pain. Seconds later, she shook her head, and the spigot turned the other way. The tears ceased, and she rolled her eyes. “Kind of like that,” she said, wiping the tears from her face with a hoof. “But I was just sitting there like... look, my uncle Car was a nice guy, good chemist, and I guess I kinda liked him, but... we'd met maybe four times? And I realized that I should be sad about him, but I wasn't. And I tried—Celestia help me, I tried.” She grimaced. “The best I managed was to feel bad for Lyra, because she was sad for me. For what it's worth, I really did feel bad for her. Because, and this is the important part, I cared about her.” “Weren't you just crying a moment ago?” Rarity asked. Bon Bon smacked her own face with her hoof. “You're missing the point. I can just manage to care about a very few things, but I cannot care about all the things you peppy people care about, because I don't have that energy. Random aliens that I just met, who die horribly in front of me? I can't. I'd like to, but I can't. I... can't.” She blew a breath out the corner of her mouth, briefly lifting a strand of her mane. “But hey, sometimes it comes in handy. Because, just for instance, you?” She jabbed a hoof in Rarity's direction, interrupting her from patting Pinkie on the back. “You cared so damn much about that bull back there that we all nearly fell to our fiery deaths. Great job with that big heart you've got there, but me? I think I'll stick with my lump of coal.” She emphasized these last words by glaring at Applejack. Applejack spent a few seconds frowning at the ground, then looked up to the level of Bon Bon's chin. “So, what can you care about?” “My best friends... friend. My family—close family, I mean. And myself. Which means I care about this ship and this group getting out of this all in one piece, insofar as that includes me. Can you live with that?” Applejack sighed. “Y'know, I suppose I can. And, uh, I'm... sorry about the coal thing. At least I see where you're coming from now.” “Accepted.” Bon Bon shrugged. “Now I think we have a job to do?” “Quite right,” Adelbrand said, stepping forward. “Our main objective is to storm the bridge of Duchy-6 and capture Lieutenant Macrin and Pilot Luso, or otherwise prevent them from firing on Equestria. Let's move out.” Without another word he walked toward the door. Lorio, Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie followed him, but Ermi held back as she passed Bon Bon. “You know,” she said, “when this is all finished, perhaps you could help me explain to the captain why I prefer the company of non-living things. You seem to be a much better speaker than I am.” “What, you don't... can't care for people either?” Bon Bon sighed. “Yeah, take it from someone who knows: it's not as much fun as it sounds.” The two of them exited, but the Doctor hesitated still. There was something bugging him, something about Bon Bon's story.... “Missiles launching in thirty seconds. Twenty nine.” That can wait, then, the Doctor thought, standing stock-still while comprehension trickled down to his muscles. Then he was off like a shot, barreling through the group ahead as they stood frozen themselves. “What's going on?” he yelled. “Didn't you hear?” Applejack said. “Missiles!” “Twenty six,” the computer voice of the intercom said. “Twenty five.” “Where? Can we stop them?” he asked. “Can we cut off the signal, snip the wires?” “Here's why you can't,” Ermi said as she locked her horns into the grooves of a nearby access panel and pulled. Behind it lay a loom of wires, all different colors. “That's the wire that controls weapon systems—” she pointed to a yellow wire near the top “—and so is that.” She pointed to one at the bottom. “There's at least a dozen redundant wires for each essential ship function running throughout the ship. Macrin would have had to cut twenty to sabotage the engines.” “Missiles are an essential ship function?” Applejack's jaw dropped. “The yellow wires, then?” the Doctor said, pulling his sonic screwdriver out. “Thank you very much.” He pointed it at the bottom wire. “Ten... nine... missile launch canceled.” Ermi stared at him. “That screwdriver gets more impressive by the moment!” “Missiles launching in thirty seconds.” “Never mind,” she said, gritting her teeth. “What happened?” Pinkie Pie asked. For some reason, she was smiling, but the Doctor didn't have time to think about that either. “Must have reactivated the countdown from the bridge,” he said, twisting his sonic screwdriver with precise motions. He trained it on the wire for several seconds, then looked back at the shaft's readout—well, to him it was a readout describing the exact nature of the signal. To anyone else, it must have looked like the same old silver rod. “The missiles will fire from the roof of this module, fly high into the sky, loop around, and strike Canterlot from the side. If Celestia's looking up the whole time, she may not even notice.” “Twenty... nineteen...” “Your tool told you that?” Ermi looked like she was close to salivating. “And every time I turn it off,” he said, pressing the screwdriver's button once more. “Missile launch cancelled.” “They're going to turn it back on again.” “Missiles launching in thirty seconds.” He ruffled his hair. “Not gonna lie, we're in... deep.” “Is there any way to cancel the signal permanently?” Bon Bon asked. “As long as the wires are connected, they can keep turning it back on,” the Doctor said. “And they may send more Bullbots; that might distract us for thirty seconds.” “So let's go cut those cables!” Applejack said, reaching in with her head to the top cord. She grabbed it in her teeth and pulled, only for Ermi to strike her on the head before she'd ripped it. “Ow! What the hay was that for?” “Don't touch my ship,” Ermi replied through gritted teeth. “And if you'll listen, there's a way we can detach all the cables at once.” She cast a meaningful look at Adelbrand, and after a few seconds he nodded. “Of course. We detach the ship itself.” “Sixteen... fifteen... missile launch cancelled.” “What are you talking about?” the Doctor asked, letting his screwdriver leg sag. It's going to cramp if I have to keep doing this. Awful thing for a new leg to do. Adelbrand strode forward. “Keep canceling the launch until we reach the front of the ship,” he ordered with a glance at the Doctor. “Then, some of us will have to progress to Duchy-4 to detach this module from that side.” “You want to split us up?” the Doctor yelled, kicking a wall as he followed Adelbrand. The access panel fell off, and he briefly trained his screwdriver on the wire inside. Ignoring the ship's announcement, he said, “In smaller groups the Bullbots will pick us off even more easily. We are not losing anyone else.” “Do not subvert my authority aboard my own ship, Doctor,” Adelbrand hissed. “Assuming there are no Bullbots aboard this section, those who cannot fight should stay here with me. Those who can, go. We'll redock the module alongside the rest of the ship later.” They reached the hallway at the end of the module. In front of them stood the door that lead to Duchy-4: to their left was the bridge. Adelbrand walked into it, followed a moment later by a sheepish-looking Rarity. Bon Bon marched right in next. Applejack, on the other hand, stepped toward the door to Duchy-4, followed by Lorio. “Of course you're coming,” she said with a sigh. “Put aside your irrational dislike of me for a moment. You're fighting: you need a medic,” he said. Then he glanced sideways at the pink form that had stepped up beside him. “You?” “Don't worry about me,” she said, with the same insincere smile. “Ol' Pinkie's got a few tricks up her sleeves. Also, ol' Pinkie doesn't have sleeves.” She shook her body, making her cape flutter behind her. “Hang on,” the Doctor said, poking his head in through the bridge door. “Captain!” he said. “You can cancel the missile launch from there, right?” “Of course,” Adelbrand replied, with a perfunctory press of one of the bridge's buttons. As the ship made yet another announcement, the Doctor turned back to Applejack, Pinkie, and Lorio. “Here,” he said, tossing the screwdriver to Applejack; she caught it without flinching, then squinted at it. “It'll help you fight off any Bullbots you come across. But take care of it! They don't grow on trees, you know.” “I figured,” Applejack replied. “What the—” For Ermi had just snatched it from her hoof. “I'm going where this is going,” she said, regarding it with something between reverence and ecstasy. “Count me in!” “All right!” Lorio said, smiling for a second. He pressed a button adjacent to the door, which opened, and the four of them—Applejack, Lorio, Ermi, and Pinkie Pie—walked through. “See you on the other side, Doctor,” he said, reaching for the module-detaching lever on his side. “You too... Doctor.” The Doctor chuckled and pulled the lever on his own side. For a few seconds, he watched Lorio and the rest sag away from him, but then the doors closed between them. As the Doctor entered the bridge, Adelbrand said, “Course holding steady.” His hoof found the missile button and pressed it again. “Missile launch canceled.” The Doctor involuntarily tensed up for a few seconds, but he knew there would be no reannouncement of the countdown. Well, he knew it in his brain: his body seemed to be another matter. “Oh, thanks,” Bon Bon said, rubbing her head. “I can hear myself think again.” After a moment, she frowned. “Right, I forgot. Can you turn the countdown back on again?” “How, ah... charming?” Rarity ventured. A smile grazed her lips. Bon Bon glared at her. “I laugh at me. You don't laugh at me. Got it?” Then she looked around and gulped as the Doctor, in turn, glared at her. “Er, sorry,” she said. “All... right...” Rarity said, inching away from her. Bon Bon sighed and walked to the other side of the room, where the Doctor sat, then plopped down beside him with a groan. “Some ponies. I try to play nice, and what do I get?” Play... The word stirred something in the Doctor's memory: the thought he'd been nursing just before the missile alert had triggered. “Bon Bon,” he said, “do you remember a story you told me the first time we met?” “Eh?” “In Discord's maze.” “I tell lots of stories.” “I figured.” The Doctor sighed, then continued quietly enough that neither Rarity nor Adelbrand—who was fiddling with something on the control panel—would hear. “It was a story about how you first met Lyra.” “So?” “In college,” the Doctor continued. “And not before you were age eight on a playground.” Bon Bon glanced out through the bridge's window, through which the side of the Duchy slid sideways, lighting up the night with its slits of windows. Then she looked back at him with one eyebrow raised. If anything, she looked pleased to have been caught. “Well, aren't I a stinker.” The Doctor gritted his back teeth and took a deep breath. “You just lied to everyone.” “Oh, come on,” she said, winking. “Maybe I lied to you back in the maze. Maybe I lied both times. Maybe they're both true, because I enrolled in college at age six.” She chuckled. “I'm pretty smart, you know.” “And you did this because....” “Well, it's fun, for one thing. And it made you all feel sorry for me, didn't it?” She winked again. “Both times.” The Doctor opened his mouth, held it for a few seconds, then let it drift shut. “Look, if you, uh, wanna be mad, don't sugarcoat it,” Bon Bon said. “I'm a big fan of honesty.” He found the words. “I have a decently short list of people I trust with my life, and until several minutes ago, you were on it. But now I've just watched you... selfishly manipulate a shipload of people.” She suppressed a laugh. “What?” he said. “What's so funny?” “'Selfishly manipulate people'?” She guffawed. “That is literally the only thing anyone does, ever.” He narrowed her eyes at her. In response, she rolled hers. “Oh, come on. If you're doing something mean, it's because it helps you. If you're doing something nice, it's because it makes you feel good about doing something nice, which helps you.” As he continued to stare, she snorted. “And who are you to talk, Mr. 'Manipulate ponies into becoming friends so I can use the Elements of Harmony'?” He sputtered. She noticed that? “Yeah, I noticed that,” she said, as if she could read his thoughts. “I mean, I didn't mind that much, but you absolutely set the whole thing up.” “That—that was to save the world!” “Which you happened to be in at the time? Pot to kettle, Mr. Selfish.” She smirked. “Trust me, once you realize this big fact about the world, everything fits. It's one of a very few good things I've done for my psyche. Just go with it.” He sighed and gazed at the wall opposite his own. “Qeta gave her life to try to stop Macrin.” “I'm sure she didn't mean to die horribly. We aren't counting mistakes, are we?” “And Lyra is your best friend.” The Doctor hadn't wanted to play that card, but Bon Bon was becoming intolerable. At least it had worked; though he waited for several seconds, she did not retort. So now I can justify this acidic feeling in my digestive tract. Brilliant. He looked over at her, and she at him, but her eyes had lost their vindictive glint. “Look, earlier, when I said I want to care but I can't? That was true. I want to. And she's why.” There was a look in her eyes that pled with him to, at least this once, believe her. “I mean, being her best friend in the whole wide world—I still don't know why she puts up with me, and I don't know why I can click with her, but it's amazing and I'd like to be able to build on that, but....” She rubbed her forehead with a hoof. The Doctor waited a few seconds, then prompted, “But?” “But... do you remember what using the Elements of Harmony felt like?” Taken aback as he was by the question, the Doctor thought he recovered nicely. “Rather pleasant, as I recall,” he said with a grin. “And quite nice if you're feeling on a bit of a power trip, which, if I'm being honest....” Dangerous territory, he realized. “Anyway, um, you?” “I saw the whole world. Every blade of grass, every speck of dust, and I loved it all. Poured my heart into it.” She shivered and looked him with the wide eyes of fear. “And I think that if I ever have to do it again, it'll rip what heart I've got to shreds, because I can't do it. I cannot care about the whole world. I can manage to care about Lyra, but....” She turned away with what sounded like, but could not have been, a laugh. “Limited resources. What if I overextend and lose her? I'm terrified of that.” “Is that a lie?” “I don't lie about Lyra.” After a second, she scrunched up her face. “Wait, hang on, no. I don't lie to Lyra.” “Well, even accepting this as gospel, it wouldn't hurt to, y'know....” He shrugged. “Be polite?” “Yeah, maybe... I don't know. I mean, I'm still the queen 'b'. Why give anyone false impressions? I'm a big fan of honesty, remember?” She smirked without looking at him. “And besides, ponies are selfish. Lyra's an exception, but the rest... I mean, look at me.” “Sure.” He patted her shoulder, but she shied away from the touch. “Not to sound too pointed, Bon Bon, but I, ah....” “No sugarcoating.” She smiled briefly. “Oh hey, that's funny. Get it?” she said, tapping the candies on her flank. “I hope I never agree with you.” “Well, at least I thought it was funny,” she said, standing up and making to walk toward Rarity. “Look, Bon Bon—” “Missiles launching in thirty seconds.” The words sliced through the Doctor's frame of mind like a laser cutter through a medieval fortress; there was no context for them. That can't be right. We stopped the launch. His eye twitched. We cut off the wiring. They can't reactivate it. “Twenty-eight... twenty seven.” “Adelbrand?” he said, getting on his hooves. “What's going on?” He turned to see the captain with one hoof on the missile button. “Adelbrand, what are you doing?” Adelbrand narrowed his eyes at the Doctor, then turned to face the rest of the Duchy. “Saving the world, Doctor.” “This is amazing!” Ermi's voice was not really staying in whisper territory as she activated, adjusted, and reactivated the sonic screwdriver. Over and over and over again, to the point that Applejack was getting a headache from the repetitive whistling. She glanced over at Pinkie, but if she was annoyed as well, she didn't show it. To be fair, annoyance was not generally something Pinkie showed, but then neither was what Applejack saw: the most subdued smile she'd ever seen on that mare's face. What was more, she wasn't even talking Applejack's ear off. I guess everyone copes in different ways, Applejack mused. Who'd have thought that Pinkie's response was to go sane?... wow, that was cruel-hearted. “Sorry,” she said, half-aloud. Behind her and to her left, Lorio gave her a queer look. “Sorry about anything in particular?” “What's there to be sorry about?” Ermi said, poking her rump with the sonic screwdriver. It was as if all of Pinkie's usual hysteria had been transplanted into the bull. “Look at this!” The fact that Applejack did not turn around, or acknowledge hearing her, did not seem to register as Ermi got on her hind legs and jammed the screwdriver into an overhead light. As she activated it, the light started flashing all different colors, switching between them more quickly than Applejack could count. “The lights don't even do that!” Applejack rolled her eyes. “Great to see you're pleased with yourself.” “Myself? What? No, it's this beautiful piece of metal! I swear, I am not giving this back.” “Ermi,” Lorio teased, “you know you have to give it back. And I don't know how the captain would feel about you having toys on board the ship.” “This isn't a toy!” She whipped around to him and laughed. “It's practically a superpower!” “Great,” Applejack muttered. “Now all we need is a pile of body parts, and you two will be in bull heaven. You really were made for each other.” “That's what I've been saying!” Lorio exclaimed, but Ermi ignored him to yank open an access panel and let it clatter to the floor. Well, Applejack thought, putting a hoof over her face, so much for “quietly making our way through”. “Can you, uh....” She turned to Pinkie and rubbed her temple as the screwdriver's whine pierced her brain again. “Can you get them to calm down? And I really can't believe I'm asking you that.” “Did you ever notice how much pink looks like red looks like blood?” she said, her tone chipper and polite. “What?” Applejack said. Once she'd taken a few seconds to process this remark, she responded with a much more appropriate “What?” “So it basically feels like I'm covered in blood right now.” With a little chuckle, she started hopping up and down the corridor. “And orange is kinda reddish too, so you really need to take a bath.” So much for coping. Or going sane. “Pinkie, you're not really feeling okay, are you,” she said. “No, I'm fine. We're gonna get through this and all have a great time, and then I'm gonna go back to Ponyville and eat Sugarcube Corner. And if I'm lucky, maybe the sugar rush'll make me forget I ever ever EVER met her—” She giggled. “Sorry! Just a penpals thing.” Then she'd thrown on her polite little smile, as one might throw on an ill-fitting pair of overalls. “Were we going? I think we were going. I should take a bath.” And like that she was bouncing down the corridor. Applejack ran up beside her. “You sure you don't wanna talk about it?” “About who?” She gave Applejack a big wink and a painful grin. “Hey, everyone!” They turned around at Ermi's voice and saw her beaming at the sonic screwdriver. “Good news! Either I've gone crazy—” Wouldn't be any surprise, Applejack thought “—or I've figured out how he reads this thing!” “Oh, really?” Lorio said, looking over her shoulder at what, to him, would have to be a gray stick. “What's it say?” “I think it's something about the fuel... no, hang on, I get it!” She did a little hoof pump. “It says that the girls have all been released! All right!” Lorio took a step back, as if the ship had started to fall again. “The... girls? Isn't that what you call the....” “Right, yeah, you guys call them the Warbots,” Ermi said, waving him off, “but this is amazing! And I think I am seeing the fuel capacity, and we're at something like twenty five percent overall. Wow, that’s kinda….” She looked back up at him. “Did I say the girls have all been released?” “Yes,” he said. “Oh.” She looked over at Applejack and Pinkie almost pityingly. Pinkie Pie spoke once more, in a tone appropriate for discussing the humidity. “Warbots? So, like Bullbots, but more War-y?” “Yeah,” Ermi replied. “It will be a problem. They are very good at killing things.” “Of course,” Applejack said, though she wasn't certain the attempt at bravado was useful for anyone involved. Certainly it didn't mask her own feelings. After all, if Bullbots had been so hard of a fight, what would Warbots be like? “How do we fight them?” “In general, we don't,” Lorio said. Applejack took a deep breath. “All right, then get specific. How do we fight them?” Lorio's only response was to slump his shoulders and give her a sad smile—or was it pity she was looking at again? “Oh, for the love of... what, do you wanna fight em off, or do you wanna pick over the corpses after they kill us?” “No corpses!” Pinkie Pie burst in with a slightly larger grin on her face. “No one's dying, why would anyone be dying?” She shook herself like a wet dog. “We really can't fight them. They're really amazing at killing things.” A bit of a rictus made its way onto Ermi's face. “I don't think I've ever gotten to see them do it in person, so that'll be—” “You are all INSANE!” Applejack bellowed. Everyone shut up and stared at her. “I am trying to save everyone here from your boulder-headed killing machines—” she jabbed her hoof into Ermi's nose, and she recoiled “—and you can't get your head on straight enough to give me a level answer about how we fight them!” When Ermi did not respond, Applejack continued, “Don't you get it? I don't care worth a peach's pit about how amazing your machines are! We are going to die!” “I'm gonna be over here now,” Pinkie said, jumping away. “And you!” Now her hoof went toward Lorio's face. “What the hay kind of doctor is okay with any kind of war? You Betaurans are all crazy! But you!” She whirled around and pointed at Pinkie. “You're making them look like newcomers to the crazy competition!” “Can't hear you!” Pinkie sang. Applejack screamed in frustration and drove her leg into one of the walls. Within a second she was regretting this choice of action as her hoof screamed right back at her; biting back several swear words, she collapsed to the ground in pain. “Crazy,” she muttered, holding her hoof. Her anger had burned itself out like a firework, leaving resentful ashes in its wake. It was a few seconds before someone broke the silence. To Applejack's surprise, it was Ermi. “Qeta was really good at working through fights like this.” “Who?” Pinkie yelled. Ermi shot her an aggrieved look even as her shoulders slumped. “I guess I never paid much attention, but on the long trips when you guys got ship-crazy and started yelling—” she indicated Lorio with a tilt of her head “—she'd always be the one diffusing the bomb. She loved doing that.” Lorio sighed. “They say you don't know what you've got, until....” “Yeah... we'll make do for now.” Ermi lifted a hoof over Lorio's back, then seemed to forget what it was doing there, and extended it to Applejack. “Get up, pony. We aren't going to fight the Warbots if we can help it; we're going to sneak past them. Ready to move?” When Applejack nodded and stood, Ermi said, “Then get moving. And start hoping.” Applejack beckoned to Pinkie, and she returned to the group as Ermi walked away from them. They came to a staircase, and Ermi, Lorio, and Applejack entered. Pinkie, however, stayed outside the stairwell and perked an ear up, her face frozen in its travesty of a smile. “What is it?” Applejack asked, but she had an inkling of what the answer might be. From a distance, she imagined she could hear the sound of metal stomping on metal, again and again with military precision. “One party, coming up,” Pinkie said, stepping into the stairwell with a shiver. Stay tuned: War of the Worlds will resume in just a moment.