So I suppose there's no time for me to do any else except go to the bar and set things up. With a sigh, I put my hands in my pockets and make my way back.
It's weird though. I don't really have any plans for the rest of this trip. After this gig, there's only one more day before we've finished what we came to do. And then we're apparently sticking around one more day so that Vinyl and Rainbow can go see the Hearth's Warming Pageant.
That reminds me, Hearth's Warming is in two days. Celestia told me the ponies give gifts to each other like humans do on Christmas. Though the exact day is different, since Christmas has technically already passed. I wonder if I'll have to sit through Vinyl and Rainbow doing that shit.
And should I be going to this pageant as well? I mean, if I don't, I'll be completely alone for who knows how long, and I doubt I can get another reservation at the rehearsal hall. Celestia also said it would be available to those with lower incomes, so I can probably afford to get in, but do I really want to?
It's supposed to celebrate the founding of Equestria, so maybe it'll be historically accurate and educational. That appeals to me somewhat, but every time I hear the word “pageant,” all I can think of are those dumb Christian things churches do on Christmas celebrating the birth of Jesus. I don't really believe in taking things on faith, so religious based holidays generally fall flat for me.
In other words, those types of pageants drive me nuts. The only god that's been proven (ish?) to exist is Discord, because I've actually seen him and his effect on the world. And I'm rambling. I'm still trying to figure out whether going to this pageant is a good idea or not. Vinyl said I'd get a kick out of it, but I don't think she knows me well enough to make that kind of judgment.
Oh well. I still have some time to think about that. In the meantime, since I'm lost in thought, my feet have led me someplace random. I'm in the shopping district. How the fuck did I get here?
Finally, I end up back at the bar, after backtracking through the festive district. (I don't know if they really call it that, but fuck them, this is my journal).
Walking inside, I see that Vinyl's already got the cart here, and is just now starting to unload. She spots me the moment I walk inside. “Hey there! You're just in time. Come help me unload all this stuff,” she calls to me.
I pass Rainbow on the way to the stage area. “S'up, Seth? How was the rehearsing?” she asks curiously, hovering in midair in a relaxed pose. Too relaxed. I almost want to knock her down or something, because I'm an asshole.
“I was locked in a room for four hours. You tell me,” I grunt, uninterested in answering. I think I already mentioned how I hate questions like that.
“Oh wow, that sounds awful. Was it that bad?” Rainbow sympathizes with a grimace. I give her a deadpan expression right before I reach the stage.
“No, I loved it, idiot. Hello? I like music. Where the hell have you been?” I retort tapping her on the head with a finger. She nips at me playfully, causing me to withdraw my hand hastily with a chuckle.
“Okay, smart aleck. Celestia forbid you give me a straight answer,” Rainbow remarks wryly.
“Of course not. Not when you ask me a dumb question like that. Sheesh, it's like asking someone if they slept well.”
“Oh come on, that's a reasonable question! It means we care whether or not nightmares kept you up or something. It's basic kindness!” Rainbow protests.
“Nightmares? Please. Those are just like horror movies. And I fucking love horror movies,” I retort. Rainbow's fucking face at that comment makes me laugh. “Your face right now.”
“Hey! Less talking and more working! You want to get paid, right?” Vinyl interrupts. With a shrug, I leave Rainbow behind and hop up on the stage. Well, here goes.
The night passes without really much to talk about. Vinyl plays some more of her electronic stuff while I eat dinner with Rainbow, which costs me another 4 bits. That puts me at 36 bits. Still quite a bit. I'm not worried. Especially not with the payment I get at the end of the night.
Yeah, I get another 66 bits by the time tonight's show ends. So now I have a whopping 102 bits. I can't help but feel giddy at my new found fortune. Still nothing compared to what Vinyl's getting, but I could give less a shit what she's got. I already know everypony is richer than me. Since they all have houses and shit.
Then it's just a matter of packing up and getting back to the hotel again. I swear, all this exertion I've been doing over the past week is starting to take it's toll on me. Like, I don't really get winded just from taking a walk up a set of stairs anymore. It's an odd feeling, knowing I'm not as pathetic as I used to be. Not even counting my magic, of course.
Like yesterday, we go to sleep right after leaving the cart with the staff. Who knows what I'm going to do tomorrow.
Surprisingly enough, the next morning passes by mostly uneventfully. I say that because Vinyl and Rainbow woke up before me, so they were in the shower when I woke up. So there really wasn't any opportunity for me to prank them. Not that there's any call for that now at the moment anyway. They haven't done anything to me yet.
It's weird that I enjoy pranking them. I've never pranked anybody back in my time because it was stupid and childish, but ever since pranking Twilight with the fake book, I find I've acquired a taste for it. It is childish and stupid, but the one part I never realized way back then was how fucking funny it can be. Twilight's fucking face with the pie all over it still makes me laugh to myself on occasion. That's easily the best memory I have of her...considering I don't really like her all that much.
As before, we visit the same breakfast place. This time I order myself an omelet, because while Prench toast (I'll never get over how dumb that pun is) is good, I want to try other things as well. That drops me down to 98 bits.
Afterward, Vinyl, Rainbow, and I decide to wander the city together for once. We first visit the shopping district, and drift from shop to shop, visiting every one we see. Well, almost every one. By that I mean I tell the two mares that I'm not going anywhere near that extremely feminine looking store. Rainbow and Vinyl actually agree with me, reminding me once again why I enjoy hanging out with tomboys.
So that takes up a good few hours of our time. With the little time we have left, we head to the festive district and watch some of the ponies there playing sports, because Rainbow thinks it would be a good idea. I personally don't agree, but that's because I hate sports in general. Unless I'm playing them with a friend. Though...that was only ever with Amaryllis, and she was more important than the fact it was sports.
Then comes another gig, which is literally the same as the last two. That's why I'm skipping over most of this. There's literally nothing I can say about it that I haven't already. And since I'll likely be reading back through this eventually, I don't want to bore myself.
Taking into account meal expenses, I end up with 160 bits total. That's pretty a pretty hefty amount of bits. I don't know how much a house is in Ponyville, but I bet if I save up, I'll be able to afford one soon. Especially since Ponyville doesn't really look like a place for the wealthy.
Anyway, sleep time for me. Tomorrow is Hearth's Warming Day. I guess I'll figure out what I'm doing as I go along. That's generally how I've been living up until now anyway.
“Seth! Wake up, wake up! It's Hearth's Warming!" yells a familiar scratchy voice, sounding directly in front of my face. With a groan, I open my eyes tiredly, having been in the middle of a particularly entertaining dream involving dragons and zombies. I don't even know, I can't remember it anymore anyway.
So Rainbow is hovering practically right above me, looking as excited as all hell. Oh right, this is their Christmas, isn't it? No wonder she's excited. However...”Can you be excited somewhere out of my face?” I groan, pushing Rainbow's muzzle aside. That earns me a nip on the hand though. “Oh for the...would you stop that!? You're as bad as a fucking dog!”
“Less complaining, more waking up! Hearth's Warming Day is here! Get up!” Rainbow completely ignores me and starts trying to drag me out of the bed by grabbing my feet. Irritated, I kick at her.
“All right, fine! I'm getting up, just back the fuck off. Sheesh,” I complain, sitting up in bed and rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I notice that Vinyl is nowhere to be seen. Huh, wonder where she went? Might as well ask. “Where's Vinyl?”
“She went to the post office, to grab our presents from Ponyville!” Rainbow's excitement is just not going down. She even does a loop in midair for no reason at all. “I can't wait to see what I get this year!”
“What do I care? I already told you lot not to get me anything, so...” I trail off when what Rainbow said actually sinks in. “Oh fuck.”
“What?”
“Twilight and the others don't know not to get me stuff,” I say with a sigh, rubbing my forehead. They're probably all going to get me something. Pinkie I know is going to get me something. Twilight, maybe. Rarity...maybe more clothes, which I still plan to confront her about. I already satisfied that deal with her, so she shouldn't be making any more for me. Applejack...I have no idea. “I hope their presents come with receipts.”
“Really? You're going to return whatever they get you?” Rainbow demands incredulously. “It's Hearth's Warming! It's a tradition to get gifts for poni...for individuals you care about.”
“Yeah, but they don't care about...”
“Say whatever you want, but I know there are ponies that care about you back in Ponyville. I know for a fact that Derpy sent you something,” Rainbow cuts across me. I raise an eyebrow at that. That's true, Derpy has been really over affectionate with me for some reason. “I'm not gonna let you return their gifts.”
“What, are you going to threaten me now?” I say irritably, laying back on the bed and staring at the ceiling. I hear Rainbow sigh in exasperation.
“No...but you'd really look like a jerk if you return their gifts. It's like you're spitting on their kindness,” Rainbow says somewhat calmer. She's also speaking in that tone that she usually does when she's being completely serious.
“When have I ever given a fuck what other ponies think?” I reply uncaringly, not giving one shit about other ponies' “kindness.” That earns an annoyed groan from Rainbow.
“You're so stubborn! Look, can't you make an exception? Just for Hearth's Warming Day?” Rainbow pleads. I remain silent. “Come on, don't humans have a holiday like this? Where it's all about showing your appreciation to family and friends?”
“Sort of. I don't really want to talk about it,” I tell her flatly. Even so, I can't help but remember the last Christmas I had, where my family and Amaryllis' family met up for dinner and gifts. That's...where I got my headphones. The headphones that are now sitting in the Everfree Forest, deep underground. You know, I have power now. Maybe I'll go back there sometime and get them back, even if they don't work anymore.
Oh right, Rainbow still wants an answer. “Whatever. I'll see what happens. If they get me anything too expensive, I'm fucking returning it,” I grunt. Rainbow heaves another sigh, only this time it's of relief.
“That's fair, I guess. Anyway, Vinyl will be here any...” she begins, and then as if on cue, Vinyl steps in through the door, lugging a cart filled high with gift-wrapped boxes of varying sizes into the room with her. “...second. Oh sweet Celestia, look at all those presents!”
“I know right? This year's haul has got me pretty psyched,” Vinyl agrees with a grin, shutting the door. She immediately starts fishing out some of the presents, glancing at them excitedly and then sorting them into piles. “Actually, saying 'haul' sounds a little greedy. More like, I'm super excited to see what my friends have gotten for me this year.”
“Yeah, I was about to say, miss miser,” Rainbow teases her, earning a laugh from Vinyl as she continues to pull presents out of the cart.
“Oh hey, this one's for you, Seth,” Vinyl informs me, causing me to sit back up and look at her curiously. A medium-sized rectangular box wrapped in mint green striped packaging hovers over to me courtesy of Vinyl's magic. I have a sneaking suspicion as to who it's from even before I check the tag.
A sinking feeling falls over me as I check the tag. Sure enough, it's addressed from one “Lyra Heartstrings” to her “favorite human.” And yes, it's actually written in English, though how she knows how to do that is beyond me. Fucking...I knew it. And bitch, I'm the only human you know. I hook my fingernails underneath one of the folds of paper in an attempt to start opening it.
“Hey! Don't open them yet! We have to take turns!” she chastises me. I set the present down obediently. Not like I really care. I don't want any of these presents in the first place, so waiting doesn't bother me.
Vinyl continues to dole out more presents from the cart. Rainbow has a veritable pile of them right now, as does Vinyl herself. And...wait, did I just get another one? And another? Holy fucking shit, stop it right now.
Much to my utter shock, I end up with a sizable pile of them myself. What the fuck...there's more than six here! Who the hell cares about me enough to give me something? I thought I was pretty much an asshole the whole time I was in Ponyville.
Finally, the cart is empty, and we all have large piles of presents to open, though Vinyl's and Rainbow's are much larger than mine, which makes sense. They've lived here all their lives.
“Sweet, that takes care of that. Look at all this stuff,” Vinyl remarks, clopping her two front hooves together excitedly. “Seth, why don't you open the first one?”
“Why me?”
“Yeah, go for it, Seth! I wanna see what you got!” Rainbow encourages me with a grin.
“Fucking...fine,” I grunt. Before I open the first of my presents, I take a few moments to put on my shirt and pants underneath the blankets, so I can actually get out of bed. “Let's open Lyra's first; get that shit out of the way.”
I grab the mint green package again and easily rip the paper off of it to reveal a brown cardboard box. Being the asshole I am, the first thing I do is feign an excited gasp. “Holy shit, I got a box! Just what I always wanted!”
“Just hurry and open the box, you silly human,” Vinyl says to me, shaking her head and chuckling, while Rainbow promptly facehoofs.
The box is easy to open, so I lift the lid. Inside the box is a black folder that looks an awful lot like the one Octavia had that held her music. Hold on, did she really get me...holy shit. Inside the folder is a set of sheet music with a bunch of complicated notes and rhythms on it, as well as a card.
Before I say anything, I open the card...and then realize I can't fucking read Equestrian! Goddammit. I look up, and I see Vinyl extending a hoof to me with a knowing smile on her face. With a grunt, I pass the card to her so she can read it to me.
Vinyl clears her throat and begins. “Dear Sethie...”
“Fuck you Lyra!” I immediately groan loudly, imagining the horrible things that I'm going to do to her when I see her again. Rainbow chuckles behind a hoof, while Vinyl looks at me impatiently.
“Like I was saying. Dear Sethie, while I know this gift is probably unwelcome to you, I remember seeing how much you enjoyed it when I played my lyre in the park, so I thought I'd transcribe the melody for you on paper, so you can play it too. I hope you're having a wonderful Hearth's Warming Day, and I can't wait to see you when you get back from Canterlot! Love, Lyra.” Vinyl finishes, and then both she and Rainbow look at me for my reaction.
She...somehow figured out the fact that I'm a musician somehow. This music is written on a double staff, so I'm assuming it's written for her lyre, but thankfully the score here can be played by a piano without any real need for arranging it. Looking at it, I can already hear how the first few notes would flow together in my head, and it certainly does sound familiar. And while I don't care for Lyra, that song she played was really good. And...she gave it to me.
“Thanks, I guess. Rather useless when I don't have a piano to play it with,” I say bitterly, placing the folder aside. “Somepony else take your turn.”
Vinyl and Rainbow exchange looks. They look either worried or confused. Or both. I can't tell, because I'm not a fucking mind reader like Celestia is.
“All right, my turn!” Rainbow says, her excitement returning as she grabs the first present on her pile. It's colored a lavender color, and is around the same size as mine, only smaller and thicker. Rainbow peers at the tag. “Oh, it's from Twilight. Which means this is probably a book.”
Vinyl and I watch quietly as Rainbow tears open the paper with her teeth. The moment Rainbow is able to make out the title of the book, she lets out a loud whoop, ripping the rest of the paper off with one jerk of her head. “Yes! Twilight, you're the best!” Rainbow exclaims, hugging the book and doing a backwards flip in midair. When she lands, she shows the cover to us.
It depicts a mare with a brown coat, a gray mane (which makes me want to make a Skyrim reference so bad, but I don't because they wouldn't get it), and a pith helmet making her way through what looks to be a labyrinth with black walls. Looks like something out of a Tomb Raider game. I'm about to ask what the title of the book is when Vinyl speaks up. “Oh sweet, Daring Do and the Obsidian Labyrinth. That's the newest one, right?”
“Oh, so that's Daring Do,” I remark, remembering that dumb Marco Polo rip-off game that Apple Bloom and Sweetie had wanted me to play with them.
“Ohmigosh! I can't wait to read it!” Rainbow squeals, that fangirl side appearing once more. Ugh. Though I'm honestly curious to see what the hype is all about, especially since even the foals know who Daring Do is.
“I might as well open Twilight's present for me then,” Vinyl reasons, grabbing her lavender colored package as well. Upon unwrapping her present, another book is revealed, much to nobody's surprise. Vinyl seems to be pleased by what she sees, though. “Oh! Totally awesome! It's a book on mixing techniques. Where the hay did she get this?”
“From a library? Dumb ass,” I retort, earning an exasperated stare from Vinyl. “You know, the one she lives in? Anyway, I guess it's my turn.”
I look through the pile out of curiosity, and sure enough, there's one from Twilight here as well. Since Vinyl and Rainbow already opened their gifts from Twilight, I might as well do the same.
I pick up Twilight's package, noticing with some trepidation that it's the same shape as Vinyl's and Rainbow's, which means it's a book. Did she forget I can't read?
Wait, hang on, there's a weird hard lump in this package. I rip open the packaging to see a book with a black cover, with a very inaccurate portrayal of a human on it's cover. Is this one of the human books? That's not all though. The lump turns out to be a strange bluish marble. “The fuck is this?” I ask in confusion, showing it to Vinyl.
“Oh! I know what that is. Hang on,” Vinyl tells me. Her horn lights up, and then suddenly the marble in my hand starts to glow.
A second later, a fucking holographic image of Twilight herself appears in midair above the marble, which is apparently some kind of projector. That's kinda cool, I guess. Twilight clears her throat, and then starts to speak.
“Hey there, Seth! Happy Hearth's Warming Day! I know we've hit a bit of a rough patch in our relationship...” I give a scoff at that. That's an understatement. But I wouldn't know, since I'm still wallowing in self-pity. Bitch. “...but I still care about you, and as such I wanted you to have this, because I feel it will be an enlightening read for you. I heard about your reading lessons from Cheerilee, so I'm hoping you'll view this book as a goal that you can strive to meet. After all, having a clear goal can help increase productivity! In conclusion, I hope you have a wonderful holiday, and I can't wait to see you again.”
The message cuts out there, and I'm left with an inert marble. Because I'm strange and I like to save my messages, I pocket the marble and set the book aside. “Wonderful. A book I can't even read. But I bet I can 'view it as a goal!' Fucking Twilight,” I comment.
Another round of presents goes around, with Rainbow getting a flight uniform from Rarity which looks a bit too flashy to me, an opinion that Rainbow seems to share, judging by the look on her face. “Thanks Rarity,” Rainbow says wryly. “I'll be sure to wear it...eventually.”
“Oh no, this one's from my Pops," Vinyl notes with a tinge of dread in her voice, as she holds her next present.
“What's wrong with that?” I ask with a raised eyebrow. I notice that Rainbow is snickering behind her hoof. There must be some joke I'm missing.
“Last year, he got her a very inappropriate...” Rainbow begins, but Vinyl stuffs a wad of paper into her mouth with magic, a blush suffusing her face. Oh god, Vinyl's blushing? It must have been pretty bad, because I've never seen Vinyl blush.
“Suffice to say, he likes to party pretty hard. I'm not sure I should open this here,” Vinyl says hesitantly. Rainbow spits out the paper and looks at her.
“Nah, go on, do it! We're all friends here,” she assures Vinyl. That gets me to shoot her a glare. Speak for yourself. I haven't decided if I'm friends with Vinyl yet. Even so, I'm curious to see what Vinyl's father got her.
With that encouragement, Vinyl opens the wrapping paper, as well as the small box inside. There's an uncomfortable silence as Vinyl stares at the contents with an unreadable expression. Slowly, her right eye starts to twitch. “Pops...” she says in a dangerously calm voice.
“What, what is it? Show us!” Rainbow insists, attempting to inch closer. Much to my shock, disgust, and amusement, Vinyl slowly lifts a set of frilly electric blue lingerie out of the box.
My eye starts to twitch as well, even as I start to laugh. Rainbow's eyes widen, and then seconds later she falls over laughing hysterically.
“Is he trying to tell his own daughter to get rutted!?” Vinyl screams incredulously, staring at the lingerie with a scandalized look. That does it. Suddenly I find it hard to breathe because I'm fucking laughing so much. Oh god, this is the funniest thing I've ever seen.
“Oh Celestia, your father is the greatest!” Rainbow chokes out between bouts of nonstop laughing. “That's just too funny!”
Vinyl proceeds to tuck the undergarments back in the box and toss it as far away from her as she can. “Thanks for nothing, pops!” she yells, and then she pouts, her eye still twitching.
When we manage to put ourselves back together, it circles around to my turn. Since I don't really care what the others get, I'll just say what I get.
The next present I open is from Derpy. Inside is...a fucking muffin. I don't know what I expected. Vinyl helps me read the accompanying message, which is “Happy Hearth's Warming Day! Thanks for being so nice. Have a muffin.”
What a joke. I'm not nice at all...you just happen to be the kind of pony that I don't have the heart to be mean to. Even so, this muffin is delicious.
Next is a pink package covered images of balloons and candy. Gee, I wonder who this could be from. Since I've already seen the phrase, “Happy Hearth's Warming Day” twice now, I recognize the characters for it, but I still need help to read the rest. “To my bestest friend. From Pinkie.” She's still crazy, I see. Feel free to consider me your friend, because that won't change a damn thing, miss annoying...okay, you're now less annoying. These cupcakes she gave me are fucking amazing.
“Seth, quit eating all the food. You won't have room for breakfast,” Rainbow admonishes, earning a disbelieving look from me.
“What are you, my mother? Fuck you, this is my breakfast,” I retort. Rainbow just facehoofs at that.
Oh my god, how many presents are left? I still see a purple one, a cyan colored one, a really small yellow one, and orange one. Sheesh, this is a lot more than I expected. Guess I'll open them in order.
The purple one is from Rarity. Of course it is. Who else would send me a gift wrapped in purple paper? And it's more clothes. Awesome, a new set of boxers, a set of soft pants and a matching shirt, and...are those fucking flip flops? How the hell does she know how to make those!? Holy hell, this is actually a nice gift.
“Oh my god...fucking SHOES!” I exclaim, lifting the flip flops up so that the others can see them. They both look confused at that. “My poor feet, you have served me well. You can now have some sweet relief!”
“Are you...quite all right?” Vinyl asks me with a raised eyebrow.
“Shut the fuck up,” is my immediate response, which causes her to shrug and start opening her next gift.
The cyan box is from Flitter. That's odd, I didn't think she cared that much about me. I mean, all I ever did was be an ass to her. I half expected this one to be from Rainbow, even though I told her not to get me anything.
Anyway, what's in it is...a blanket. Like, seriously. Now, it's a very soft and warm blanket, but why the hell would she give one to me? “For when you get cold,” is the attached tag, which I can read thanks to Vinyl. Thanks, I guess.
“Oh, this one's from Apple Bloom,” Vinyl says after I show her the tag of the tiny yellow present.
“Huh. Okay, let's see what she got me,” I say, bemused. I unwrap the small object, noticing that it feels elastic. “What the...”
It's a fucking hair band. Not the ones that you push on, thankfully, but the ones that are like rubber bands, only made of different, stronger materials.
“Okay, what? Apple Bloom, what the hell were you thinking?” I demand, passing the card to Vinyl, who unfolds it curiously.
“Hi Seth!” Vinyl begins reading. “Here's a gift for you that I made. Actually we all made it, even Scootaloo. I have a lot to talk to you about and...Sweetie Belle says I'm too off topic, whatever that means. This is for your hair, when you're working!”
“Even Scootaloo? Wow, I wonder what they had to do to get her in on that,” Rainbow says with surprise. “Last I checked, she still didn't like you.”
“That's fine, because I still don't like her,” I remark, looking down at the hair band. Yeah, it's true that my hair does get rather stringy and disgusting after a long day at work, and it's even worse when it falls in front of my face while I'm sweating. This...might help, if I can get over the fact that only girls use these. While Rainbow and Vinyl watch, I reach back behind my head and attempt to try on the hair band. Only because it's Apple Bloom. I wouldn't do this for anypony else. It takes a few tries, but I manage to get it on, such that my hair is mostly pulled back away from my face and is hanging down my back in a ponytail. Heh, ponytail.
“You look...different,” Rainbow comments, while I stare blankly ahead, trying to figure out whether or not I like the way this feels. It feels weird, but I can see how it would help while I'm working.
However, all it takes is one look in the mirror for me to immediately take it off and pocket it. God, I looked so fucking bad. The loose look just looks so much better on me. “Yeah, that was weird. Thanks Apple Bloom, but I think I'll only use it when working,” I agree.
Okay, next is this orange one. If the past trends are anything to go by, this is from Applejack. Though what she would have to give me is beyond me. Opening this one reveals...pastries? There's like, pastries of some kind in here...though if they're not apple flavored, I'll eat my new shoes.
I taste one of them and holy shit I've never had anything apple flavored ever taste this good. So yeah, I won't be needing breakfast. Rainbow facehoofs when she sees me eating all the pastries in less than a minute. “What? I like food,” I say in response.
Soon, all of our presents have been unwrapped, and all of the wrapping paper has been disposed of by placing them in bags. So basically, we're now sitting in the middle of piles of stuff, like a typical Christmas. I didn't get really all that much, but that's exactly what I wanted. I can always pay Pinkie, Applejack, and Derpy back for the food, and Lyra...Lyra I just want stay away from. Twilight probably just gave me a book from the library. That I can't even read yet.
It's safe to say that this is the most disappointing Christmas ever, because I didn't get to spend it with my family. Technically it's not Christmas, but whatever.
“So what now?” I ask, since I don't think we have anything else on the schedule, until whenever that pageant is. Looking at Vinyl, she has her muzzle buried deep into that book on mixing styles. As for Rainbow...huh? For some reason, she looks rather...antsy, for lack of a better word. She keeps shifting her gaze between the clock and the door, and occasionally at me. “Rainbow, what's the matter with you?”
“Wha...huh? Nothing's the matter,” Rainbow says shakily, to the point where I can tell it's a lie. I cross my arms and give her a stare that lets her know how much I'm not buying it. “Um...I mean...it's just that she should have been here by now.”
“Wait what? You invited somepony else to this?” Even Vinyl looks confused by that. We both look at Rainbow expectantly. Rainbow starts to sweat under our gazes. I hope she hasn't done anything stupid. I don't know anypony else in Canterlot that both she and I would know, and I'll be mad if she's just invited some random bitch here.
“I...I can't say...” Rainbow answers uncomfortably.
“What the hell is such a big deal?” I ask. I almost lash out at her for keeping secrets, but then I realized how hypocritical that would be. Rainbow looks down at the ground, avoiding my gaze. That's not good. Rainbow, what the fuck did you..
Suddenly, somepony knocks on the door. Rainbow immediately zooms over to it like a fucking rocket and opens it, an looking extremely relieved, yet at the same time anxious.
“Thank you, Rainbow Dash,” the mare out in the hall says in an elegant voice, just as she begins to walk inside. A snow white unicorn steps into the room, her styled pink mane cascading down one side of her face, and not the other. Her violet eyes blink as she looks around the room, taking in its appearance, as well as its occupants. “How has your Hearth's Warming Day been so far?”
I can't help but notice something familiar about her as her eyes meet mine for a moment. “Totally awesome! Even better now that you're here. I was getting a bit worried, to be honest,” Rainbow admits, bowing her head in reverence. Rainbow, giving that kind of respect to another pony? Suddenly I get suspicious.
“I apologize for being late. I'm afraid the council hindered me far more than I expected,” the mare says ruefully, and then she giggles. “So I gave them the slip.”
“Council? Are you a member of the council?” Vinyl questions, looking alarmed. She looks around at the messy state of the room, and then back at the mare sheepishly. I cross my arms. I think I know who this is, though what's she's doing here is beyond me. To confirm my suspicious, I lean a bit to the right and glance at her flank. Sure enough, there's a sun related butt tattoo.
“Hm? Oh, I suppose I don't need this disguise any longer. One moment,” the obviously fake mare responds. Her horn starts to glow a golden yellow, and then she starts to change.
She grows several feet, to the point where she's slightly taller than I am, majestic white wings sprouting from her shoulders. Her horn practically doubles in size, and her mane turns from pink to four different cool colors, and starts to flow as if blowing in an unseen wind. Princess Celestia in all of her overpowered glory is standing in our shitty little hotel room. Well, I certainly did not see this coming.
“P...Princess Celestia!?” Apparently, neither did Vinyl, seeing as her jaw practically hits the fucking floor. So...Rainbow invited Celestia here for some reason or another. I do hope she starts explaining soon.
“Greetings, Vinyl Scratch. It has been a while since I last saw you,” Celestia greets her gracefully, dipping her head respectfully. “I apologize for the lack of notice, but it was meant to be a surprise.”
Celestia then turns to look at me, smiling. I return her gaze with a pensive stare, my arms crossed. “Why are you even here?” is the first thing out of my mouth. Vinyl looks at me as if I've gone insane, as does Rainbow. I don't think either of them have seen me around Celestia.
“Happy Hearth's Warming, Seth,” she says to me kindly, ignoring my blatant disrespect like she always does. Because nothing phases Celestia ever.
“Yes, but shouldn't you be at Day Court or whatever?” I say impatiently, remembering how I'd had to wait a few days ago, just before I had my shit wrecked. Celestia actually looks somewhat guilty.
“Actually, yes...I should be,” Celestia admits to my surprise. “I wanted to take the day off because of the holiday, but my council insisted that I wait.”
“But you're the law, right? Why can't you just tell them to fuck off?”
“I could have, I suppose, but they really do mean well. There's really nothing for me to scold them for,” Celestia explains.
“Except for...you know...holding you hostage on a national holiday?” I point out, though at this point I'm not sure what I'm trying to argue. Maybe I'm just trying to find imperfections in the system.
Celestia laughs musically at my words. “Nopony is holding me hostage. The council simply feels that it would be good for the public to see me on such a historic day. And they will. Just not at Day Court.”
“Oh my god. The Royal Princess of the Sun is fucking playing hooky,” I say incredulously. This is both sad and funny as hell at the same time. “What about all the ponies who need their problems addressed?”
“It won't be a problem. My secretary is actually quite competent at handling matters of state. Day Court can handle itself without me for one day,” Celestia assures me. Not that I needed assuring. I just think it's hilarious that Celestia isn't as perfect as I thought, if she literally just said “fuck it” to Day Court. “I think it's about time to address the reason for my visit.”
“Yeah, why did you come here? Besides to nearly give Vinyl a heart attack?” I say dryly. Vinyl next to me is still breathing hard from the shock. It's obvious that she didn't expect Celestia to be here at all, but I bet it was worse because the princess called her by name.
“I came here for you, actually. Rainbow and I have something to give you,” Celestia answers me. I blink once. Then twice. Then I shoot Rainbow a glare.
“Rainbow, I said not to get me anything!” I yell at her accusingly. Rainbow flinches, but she doesn't look surprised, like she knew I would yell at her. “What the fuck did you get me that you had fucking Celestia show up?”
“I know you said not to do anything, but...” Rainbow begins. She trails off and heaves a sigh. She looks at Vinyl, and then Celestia, who gives her an encouraging nod. “I'm going to be honest...and probably a little bit sappy, but I guess there's no way around that.”
“I can't possibly understand the kind of stuff you've had to deal with since getting to Equestria. I know there was stuff you cherished back in your time that must have really hard leaving behind, but...and don't take this the wrong way...I'm really glad it was our time you ended up in,” Rainbow continues, her voice shaking slightly, as if all of this was hard for her to say. I watch her with an unreadable expression, waiting for her to finish. I'll save my judgments until after she finishes speaking. “Since you've been here, I've really had a blast. Not many of my friends can handle me at my worst, like you have. Heck, you gave as good as you got.”
“So what I'm trying to say is: thank you. Thank you for letting me be your friend,” Rainbow finishes, and then she blushes in embarrassment.
“You're right, that was sappy as all hell,” I can't help but remark, and Rainbow promptly tosses a wad of wrapping paper at my head. “Though...I will say that nobody's said anything like that to me, except for...well there was one other. So I do appreciate it, but what does all of that have to do with getting me a gift when I asked you not to?”
“I wanted to pay you back somehow for letting me let loose the past few days. So I had Vinyl run an analysis on your phone last night, while you were asleep,” Rainbow admits, and my eyes widen.
“You what!?” I demand, growing angry. She went through my pockets and touched what is probably my single most precious possession?
“Rainbow gave me the results of the analysis, which I then gave to my top scientists,” Celestia rejoins before Rainbow can answer. She lowers her head, her horn lighting up golden. A strange object forms in midair. “This is what we came up with. This is for you, Seth.”
I'll try to describe it the best I can. At first I think it's a whip of some kind because of the thin cord tipped by a translucent lavender orb, but the cord is too small for that. I take the object curiously, still mad at Rainbow for going behind my back.
“So that's why you had me scan that odd thing,” Vinyl says in awe as she look at the object. I ignore her, however, inspecting the device.
Are you...is that a...no fucking way. At the end of the cord that isn't attached to the orb, there's a very familiar protrusion, about a centimeter wide. I take out my phone from my pocket slowly, almost as if I'm in a daze. I open the flap on my otterbox on the bottom of the phone, where I usually plug in the cord to charge it. Then, I plug in the cord, which fits perfectly.
Celestia's horn lights up again, and the orb at the base of the cord starts to glow. The next thing that happens defies all explanation.
The screen on my phone lights up, and I hear that cool chime sound just as the battery symbol appears with a lightning bolt through it. “But...it's...it's charging,” I say dumbly, unable to form a more articulate response. Celestia and Rainbow both smile at me warmly. Then there's Vinyl, who looks clueless. “My phone...is charging.”
“Do you like your gift?” Celestia asks me. I just hold the phone, petrified. Is this happening right now? Did they really find a way to keep my most cherished of memories from disappearing forever? I let out a disbelieving gasp, not sure if I should be happy about this. I mean, this is wonderful...but...
“You made a device that converts magical energy to electricity?” I ask in a small voice, looking at Celestia.
“That's right.”
“Do you know how much this probably costs!?” My voice starts to rise. This is amazing gift they've just given me...but the last time I was given something amazing, it was used to control me. This...looks to be the same exact thing. “I can't ever repay something like this! Electric devices costs millions of bits!”
“You already did repay it, Seth. I just got through explaining that,” Rainbow protests, but I'm not having any of that.
“Bullshit! Yeah blah blah friendship, but money is money. And I don't doubt that there are tons of ponies that would kill for something like this!” I'm almost shouting now.
“Seth. You are wrong about that,” Celestia informs me. I stop in the middle of getting ready to say something else and stare at her angrily. “This technology that I'm giving to you is worthless to anyone other than you.”
“How do you figure!?”
“This converter was designed with your device in mind. As such, the created electricity cannot be used for anything other than charging your device,” Celestia explains. “Nopony would buy that from you. It is a gift from Rainbow and me to you, not a means of controlling you.”
Shit, I forgot little miss mind reader was here too. But...she does make a very good point, now that I think about it. This cord won't fit into any other device, which means the only thing it'll charge is my phone.
I want to believe that they're giving me a genuine gift. But that's hard for me to accept, after many long years of turning down stuff like this, because favors are a great way to get people in your debt.
“Take it, bro,” Vinyl suddenly speaks up, having been quiet the whole time. “I don't have a clue what that thing is, but for Rainbow to go to Celestia to fix it, it must be really important to you.”
“It is,” I say softly, looking at the phone's battery slowly fill up from the magic that Celestia has put into it. I power it on, and soon the home screen pops up, where all my recent emails, text messages, voice mails, and pictures are stored. There's several years worth of memories stored here, that Rainbow and Celestia just gave back to me.
This...is either the best or worst thing that's ever happened to me since coming to Equestria. But I've given both Celestia and Rainbow chances already. I accepted Celestia's picnic dinner, yet she hasn't tried to get something out of me for it. I accepted Rainbow's ticket to the air show, and nothing's changed between us since then.
“I'm going to trust you,” I say suddenly. Rainbow blinks, not believing her ears. “I'm going to trust both of you.”
Rainbow's face slowly breaks out into a grin. Celestia's smile returns. However, I'm not finished talking. “If I see even the slightest hint of either of you using this against me...” I start to warn them, with a deadly serious tone.
“You won't. I promise. In fact, I'll take it a step further,” Rainbow interrupts, walking up to me. She then proceeds to do one of the weirdest things ever. She crosses her heart with her hoof, and then pokes herself gently in the eye while saying, “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
“What the hell was that?” I say with an utterly perplexed expression. That sounded a lot like a swear that human kids would say, only...not.
“It's a Pinkie Promise. Basically, it's one step higher than a normal promise. If you break it, Pinkie will come out and do something horrible to you. Trust me, it's terrifying,” Rainbow explains with a baleful laugh. “The way she explains it, breaking a promise like this is the quickest way to lose a friend's trust...”
Suddenly, Rainbow is interrupted by Pinkie's head and neck emerging from Celestia's mane, with a frankly terrifying expression on her face. “Forreeeeevvvveeerr!” she finishes Rainbow's sentence for her, and then she sinks back into Celestia's mane like nothing had happened.
There's a dead silence while Rainbow, Vinyl, Celestia, and I stare at the spot where Pinkie had just been with wide eyes. A few seconds pass, and then we all start talking at once.
“What.”
“Was that...” Vinyl starts.
“I don't...” Rainbow begins.
“The.”
“How...” Celestia questions with a dumbfounded expression on her face.
“Fuck!?” I finish, suddenly questioning the laws of physics. There's another silence as all all try to make sense as to what we just saw. “Okay. I think it would be best if we just pretend that didn't just happen.”
“Yeah,” Vinyl agrees.
“That mare never ceases to amaze,” Celestia comments, shaking her head in amusement. “Back on topic, I will also promise never to use this gift against you. I will prove that we are better you think.”
“I see...then for what it's worth, thank you,” I say gruffly, still trying to get over whatever the fuck I just saw. I set the phone and the cord into my pocket. “Now that all the gift giving is over with, what the hell do we do now?”
“Now? We attend the Hearth's Warming Day Pageant, of course,” Celestia answers me as if it were obvious. “It starts in an hour. Which reminds me. Rainbow, don't you have someplace you need to be?”
Vinyl and I look at Rainbow, who looks confused at first. “What?” she asks cluelessly, and then it hits her, her eyes widening. “Oh shoot!”
Rainbow frantically opens the window and zooms away like a rocket, leaving me wondering what the hell just happened. Vinyl seems to know, seeing as she's chuckling. “Um, what?” I say, watching Rainbow disappear into the distance. “The hell?”
“I believe it would be best for you to find out for yourself,” Celestia explains. So in other words, she's not telling me shit, as always. “Now then, I believe we should be going.”
“Oh yeah. Don't wanna miss getting the good seats,” Vinyl agrees. She looks over to me. “Come on, Seth. Let's get moving.”
“Right, because apparently I'm going to this thing,” I grumble. I still feel like I'm in a daze from Celestia and Rainbow's gift. It feels like my heart is in my throat, like how you usually feel when you do something that you think might backfire on you. I feel like I should crush this gift to pieces to keep anything from happening, but now that I have a chance to keep my memories of my family and friend forever, I can't bear the thought of losing that.
In a resigned fashion, I slip on my new shoes, sling my rifle over my shoulder, and then follow Vinyl and Celestia out of the room. It seems like a lot of ponies are leaving their rooms for this thing as well, so chatter fills the hallway.
Of course, their reactions are fucking priceless when they see Celestia walking down the hall as if nothing was out of the ordinary. “Good morning, my little ponies,” Celestia greets them as a shocked silence passes through the hall.
The hotel staff is similarly shocked when we enter the lobby. Celestia greets them in a similar manner as before, and then we leave the hotel behind.
There's a shit ton of ponies in the street this morning, compared to the other days. Some of them look too rustic to be from Canterlot. A quick glance at the train station shows me that a veritable swarm of ponies are emerging from it. Are they all coming to see the pageant?
“Seems like there's a good turnout this year,” Vinyl comments, craning her head behind her to look as well. “Wonder when our buddies from Ponyville are gonna get here.”
“Who all from Ponyville is coming here?” I ask with a sense of trepidation. Before any of them even say a word, I catch a glimpse of the dreaded mint green color departing from the train station. Just as Vinyl is opening her mount, I speed up. “Shit. Let's get moving. Quickly, before she...”
“Sethie!” Lyra squeals loud enough to be heard from the train station. Vinyl snickers at the look on my face.
“Oh for the love of all that's fuck, why is fate so goddamn cruel!” I lament as Lyra gallops across the street towards us, leaving her companion Bon Bon behind, looking none too happy.
When she reaches me, the first thing she does is fucking throw herself at me, wrapping her two front hooves around my chest before I can backpedal far enough away. “I missed you, Sethie!” Lyra coos, snuggling up to me, even as I try to get out of her hug.
“It's been four days, you overly attached mare! And quit calling me Sethie!” I complain, pushing on her head. “Get off me.”
“No. It's cold and you're warm,” Lyra says stubbornly, causing me to groan. Behind me, rather than helping me, Celestia and Vinyl seem to be very amused at my pain.
“Lyra, would you not go running off to...” Bon Bon finally catches up, panting. She cuts off the moment she sees me and Lyra, however, her exasperated look becoming a glare. “Hmph!”
“Oh look, it's Bon Bon. Have you been practicing your bitch lately? Because you're really at the top of your game today,” I criticize her with a grin. This proceeds to piss her off royally, to the point where she tugs Lyra away from me and starts to leave us behind.
“You're just as intolerable as ever. Let's go, Lyra. We have better ponies to spend our time with,” Bon Bon declares. Lyra whines as she's dragged away, but she manages to wave a few times to me before they both get lost in the crowd.
“That was very unkind of you, Seth,” Celestia scolds me as we resume our walk to wherever this pageant is.
“Like I give a fuck. She's been a bitch ever since I met her,” I reply uncaringly, giving shrug. “Now let's hurry before we run into any other ponies from Ponyville.”
Celestia and Vinyl lead me all the way to the Grand Theater again, only this time we have to wait in line for tickets. And the line is massive. I even ask Celestia if she can use her status to get us past the line, but all she said was, “Now, Seth, I don't believe I have the right to cut all of these ponies in line, simply because of who I am.”
Which is fucking bullshit, but every time I argue with her, she just reads my mind and shuts me down with logic I can't refute. So I don't even bother.
As soon as we buy our tickets for 4 bits each (leaving me with 156), we walk into the lobby, giving the tickets to the takers as we do so.
The moment we walk inside, I hear a very familiar and welcome voice sound out. “Mr. Seth!” sounds that young, twangy voice. Looking down, I see Apple Bloom pushing her way through the crowd and cantering towards me.
Smiling, I kneel down and catch her as she throws herself at me. Hah, it's been a while since I've seen her. With a happy giggle, Apple Bloom nuzzles my face, which I reciprocate. “Hey, Apple Bloom. I see you came to this whole thing too?”
“That's raht! Mah sister's gonna be here, so ah had to be. Sweetie Belle an' Scootaloo are here too!” Apple Bloom declares with a happy smile. I see. So everypony and their fucking mother is going to be here for this thing.
Behind me, Vinyl is looking at me with a dumbfounded expression. Right, she hasn't seen me with Apple Bloom before. Not that it's any of her business, anyway.
“Howdy, Princess Celestia!” Apple Bloom has noticed Celestia, it seems, and has greeted her in a very nonchalant manner. Fillies.
Celestia smiles warmly, craning her head down to nuzzle Apple Bloom. “Hey there, little Apple Bloom. I've heard a lot about you from Seth. It's good to see you again.” As always, Celestia just takes whatever comes her way in stride. The only time I've ever seen her truly taken by surprise was when Pinkie randomly appeared, but then again even I don't fucking know what was up with that.
After exchanging a few more pleasantries, the four of us enter the audience, though Celestia splits off from us, saying that she was going to meet her sister up in the VIP box, which we don't have tickets for.
Vinyl and I take a seat somewhere roughly in the middle of the audience so we can get a good view of the stage. There's a thick red curtain covering most of it, which I don't remember being there the last time I was here.
Apple Bloom chooses not to have a seat, and instead curls up in my lap like a cat. Sweetie Belle Scootaloo join us later, whispering greetings to us. Well, Sweetie Belle greets me, while Scootaloo greets her friends and Vinyl. When Sweetie sees what Apple Bloom is doing, she also hops up in my damn lap. Scootaloo sits the the chair next to Vinyl.
I look up at the curtain. Much to my amusement, a familiar wall-eyed mare sticks her head through the curtain and waves at the crowd, only to be pulled back inside a few seconds later. Huh, wonder what she's doing back stage.
Finally, the lights dim, and the chatter from the crowd dims down to almost nothing. I hear a quiet, “It's starting!” from Apple Bloom in my lap. Leaning back, I watch the curtain open to reveal the first scene of the pageant, which is of a blazing fire in a brick fireplace.
I actually recognize the first actor. Is that...Spike? What the hell is he wearing? “Once upon a time, before the peaceful rule of Celestia,” Spike begins in a cultured manner, dressed in a blue noble outfit, “And before ponies discovered our beautiful land of Equestria, ponies did not know harmony.”
Okay, so he's the narrator. I find it odd that Spike of all creatures is in this. This is a Canterlot play, right? He's from Ponyville, and I was under the impression he isn't that important.
Moving on. Spike goes to introduce the three different races of ponies, saying that they were organized into tribes at that point. None of the actors or actresses are ones I recognize. Okay, if this is historically accurate, than I have a few questions for Celestia. I had thought she had always been in charge, since the humans reigned.
According to Spike, the ponies back then acted pretty much as all humans did. Like selfish fuckers. Though one thing confuses me. He says that the pegasi still controlled the weather, and the unicorns could still use magic. I thought all of that came around because of Discord, and he didn't come until Celestia was around. I am confused. The unicorns could raise and lower the sun and moon? That's bullshit. I don't even believe that Celestia and Luna can do that.
Whatever. I'll ask Celestia all of these questions later. For now, I'll just take in the tale for what it is.
Anyway, Spike goes on to describe a great blizzard that caused a famine, the set changing with every major scene, probably through magic. I half expected him to say that a war followed, but instead he says the three tribes tried to talk it out through a summit, where the leaders of all the tribes would meet. That's weird. Humans would have just blown the fuck out of each other.
“...the daughter of the Unicorn King, Platinum!” Spike announces, and to my surprise, friggin Rarity walks on stage, dressed in regal purple robes and a silver crown. She's acting in this too, as the unicorn leader? What the hell?
Oh, and I thought that was shocking. Imagine my shock when Spike announces the next leader. “Ruler of the pegasi, Commander Hurricane!” he declares, and out comes motherfucking Rainbow Dash, dressed in black and gold armor, adorned with a lightning bolt motif and a plume.
Okay, I have to laugh. Vinyl looks over at me with a knowing grin as I cover my mouth and chuckle. I had no idea Rainbow was going to be in this too. Holy shit she looks ridiculous. I cannot take that seriously at all. Then again, I'm watching a production performed by technicolor ponies. I don't think there was ever a danger of that.
“And lastly, the leader of the earth ponies, Chancellor Puddinghead,” Spike finishes. I'm sorry what? What kind of fucking name is that?
While Rarity and Rainbow had been accompanied by trumpets, this one was heralded by giant multicolored party buzzer thingies for whatever reason, and then the Queen of What the Fuck herself, Pinkie Pie, bounces out on stage, accompanied by confetti. She's dressed in a particularly ridiculous outfit, with a hat that literally looks like a jar of pudding.
Suddenly I realize why the actresses are all ponies I know. Celestia probably asked them to do this, because they're the Elements of Harmony. You know, that magical superweapon bullshit that destroys enemies through the power of friendship. Those dumb things. So I'm probably going to see the rest of them here as well.
So the whole point of the summit is to talk things out, but hilariously enough, the moment the three of them open their mouths, they start arguing. I can't help but facepalm. Is this supposed to be a historical play? Or a historical comedy?
Basically all the tribes blame each other. Though...Pinkie's acting in this...is rather funny. Anyway, so nothing got done at this summit, and they all end up leaving. Then they proceed to show all of the leaders choosing to leave their initial land.
Interestingly enough, when they show Hurricane/Rainbow heading back to the pegasus land or whatever they're calling it, Fluttershy is there as well, dressed in armor that looks absolutely ridiculous on her. You'd think her acting would be good...but no, she's practically tripping all over the place.
Then they show what I assume is supposed to be the unicorn base, and there, Twilight is posing as Rarity's (I've already forgotten her character's name) assistant. Her character name is Clover the Clever...for some dumb reason. I really hope that's not the guy's actual historical name. Because that's a dumb pun.
Rarity's acting is impeccable. She plays the role of a stuck up princess very well. I'm actually rather impressed. Twilight...is literally just playing as herself under another name.
Pinkie is also playing herself under another name. They show the earth ponies next, and Applejack is there as well as her. Literally her first entrance into that scene is her falling out of a chimney. Which she proceeds to defend with the line and I quote, “Which means I can also think inside the chimney! Can you think inside of a chimney?”
Pinkie. What the fuck. Seriously, you don't make any kind of sense. I can't help but facepalm, chuckling slightly. This definitely feels like I'm watching a comedy. Applejack plays the perfect straight ..uh...mare in comparison to Pinkie's ridiculousness. Pinkie has some of the most ridiculous lines in this scene. “I am just about to be brilliant!” she proclaims, earning a shake of the head from me.
So I just heard Rainbow call Fluttershy by her character name. Private Pansy. That's funny as hell, considering her nature. I wonder if that was done on purpose. Poor Fluttershy. I'd be insulted if I were her.
Okay, that was funny. Rarity was acting like a drama queen, making me think that they've been walking for a while. Except then Twilight proceeds to tell her that they've only been moving for five minutes. I feel like every new scene is making me chuckle with their dumb bullshit.
Oh my god! Rarity is riding Twilight like...like the pony she is! That's just...oh my god Twilight's face is perfect. If only I had a cam...wait a minute. I do.
I take out my phone and open the camera app, taking a picture of that ridiculous scene after zooming in a little bit. I turn off the flash though, so I wouldn't disturb them.
I feel like Pinkie is making fun of herself. “How would we survive if I just suddenly shut up?” she says as if such an thing would mean the end of the world.
My reaction is equivalent to what Applejack actually says. “Heaven forbid that should happen.” Brilliant.
So then what happens next is all the ponies find their new land and proceed to claim it with stupidly ridiculous names, only to find out that they've all come to the same place. So they immediately start bitching at one another until the blizzard comes there as well for whatever reason.
Well, it's obviously not a random blizzard then. That idea is compounded when I see some cool special effects where there's these demonic looking white horses galloping above the storm clouds. Maybe they're what's causing it.
Spike returns then, and starts lamenting the loss of that paradise they found by making a bunch of horrible snow puns. Like, a lot of snow puns. So many that a very annoyed pony shot up from the audience and yelled, “We get it, move on!” Which makes me laugh.
The leaders and their overlooked sidekicks take shelter in a cave...and immediately start fighting over a rock. I'm not kidding. They're fighting over a fucking rock.
Whatever they're doing pisses off the white demon horses or whatever, to the point where the entire cave freezes up, and even encases Pinkie, Rarity, and Rainbow in ice. So that leaves the sidekicks.
Twilight, Applejack, and Fluttershy band together there and uncover the real threat: some demons called Windigos (reminds me of those monsters with no heads from Final Fantasy VIII. Or that monster from Supernatural. Or...well, you get the point) that apparently feed off of hate and disharmony.
Some with some laughter and pink lasers, the evil Windigos are defeated, and the ice is dispelled from the land, freeing the leaders as well, who then realize the error of their ways and all start hugging it out.
Thus, banded together with harmony, the three tribes come together and call the land Equestria, just as the curtain falls and applause breaks out. I clap as well, because that wasn't all that bad. It was rather funny, to be honest. I'll ask Celestia about how that fits into the whole “Discord created magic” theory later.
The curtain opens a few moments later, with all of the actors and actresses that had been present in the performance standing in a line and holding hooves. They take a breath, and suddenly I get the feeling they're about to sing.
Yup. When they start singing, it's in the style of a carol, only it has nothing to do with Christmas, or Hearth's Warming, or whatever you'd typically find in a holiday carol. They're literally just singing about friendship.
The rest of the fucking audience joins in as well, to the point where it's all I can hear. This...is actually a rather nice song when I sit back, close my eyes, and listen to it.
As the song ends and the crowd erupts into applause once more, I do as well, a content smile on my face. That wasn't bad.
That wasn't bad at all.
