//------------------------------//
// A Friend in Deed 
// Story: A Dream 
// by totallynotabrony 
//------------------------------//

	Pinkie came to me looking for a wig.
“I don’t even know where you’d get one in this town.  Who makes those, anyway?  A wigger?”  I frowned.  “Wiggist?  Wig maker?”
“I think it was that last one,” said Pinkie.  “Anyway, thanks, bye!”  She left the library.
Hmm.  I hadn’t even thought about wigs since my ex girlfriend the hairstylist had gotten one to practice on.  Why would a pony need a wig, anyway?  I finished filing the card catalog and sat down to relax.
The Dewey Decimal System was nonexistent in Equestria, so they used the “well, it looks like it belongs here,” system, and then made the cards around it.  I couldn’t believe that Twilight would let such disorganization stand.
Rarity and Sweetie Belle came in.  
“Rainbow was looking for you earlier,” I said.  “I thought you were still in Fillydelphia.”
“We came back early.  She had a little accident,” explained Sweetie Belle.
“What happened?” I asked Rarity.
“I…nearly bit an innocent bystander.  He just looked so succulent…”  She shook her head.  “We need to take care of Blueblood as soon as possible.  I have a problem, Valiant.”
“And the first step is admitting it.  Welcome of Vampires Anonymous.  As for staking Blueblood, amen to that.  I’m working on a plan.  Do you know who Shining Armor is?”
“He’s Twilight’s brother.  Isn’t he getting married soon?”
“Oh, so you know about it too?  Good.  Anyway, I figure that will be a good excuse to get into the castle and get a shot at Blueblood.”
“I don’t know if I can control myself that long.”  She looked forlorn.
“Just do your thing.  Make a dress for the bride or something.”
Rarity nodded.  “Yes, I suppose that would occupy me.  A dress fit for a Princess.”
“Huh?  Princess?”
“You knew about the wedding but you didn’t know who Shining was marrying?  Yes, Princess Cadence, Princess Celestia’s niece.”
I shook my head.  “This country is weird.  There’s no King or Queen, and there are several Princesses and Princes that are completely redundant.”
Rarity shrugged.  “There’s no better system.”
“Fool!  You just bought yourself a Democracy lecture!”

Two hours later, Twilight came in, looking a little frazzled.
“Still looking for the vampire?” I asked.
“Yes.  I get the feeling that I’m missing something right under my nose, but I can’t figure out what it is.  Oh, hi Rarity.”
The white unicorn stood up.  “Hello, Twilight.  Sorry to leave so soon, but I just realized what time it is.  Come along, Sweetie Belle.”  The two of them left.
“Darn it, they escaped!  I was just getting to the good part!”
Twilight rolled her eyes.  “We have more important things to worry about than political theory, Valiant.”
“Nothing is more important than freedom.  Liberty or death, Ms. Sparkle.”
“Speaking of death, I found a fang-marked pig in the forest.  Do you know what this means?”
I scratched my head.  “Does somepony have a taste for pork and is willing to kidnap it from Sweet Apple Acres?  Why does Applejack even keep pigs, anyway?”
Ignoring my questions, she said, “It means that the vampire is going after bigger animals.  It may be only a matter of time before ponies are attacked!”
She had a point.  I’d promised to keep Rarity’s secret, but could I ignore the danger to the residents of Ponyville?  I’d been putting off reevaluating my ethical priorities since I’d discovered that I was actually a dimensional traveler, rather than dreaming or crazy.  Maybe it was time to do some soul searching.
Ha ha ha, disregard that.  I had robots to build.
Outside, the weather was warm, bordering on hot.  The weather ponies allowed it to happen every so often to help the plants grow.  Even still, it kind of sucked.  I knew I wasn’t the only one who was sweating.
I endured the sun, however, because I’d nearly completed the first prototype.  The specifications ordered me to build six of them.  I wondered if that was a coincidence, or if ol’ Celestia was taking my advice to weaponize the Elements of Harmony.  Of course, I was planning to build a seventh for personal use.
It did make me wonder if Rainbow Dash could be reinstated as the Element of Loyalty, or if we would have to figure out how to teach a rock to drive a robot.  I glanced across the street at Tom, who sat in his usual place.  Now there was a boulder you could depend on.
The specifications given to me were vague on what capabilities I should include.  I figured that I might as well build them as awesomely as possible, and perhaps integrate a few additional tricks to the one I would be keeping.
The sun was directly above, and my throat was dry.  I kept working, though.  I had already planned what would come next.  Basically, there would be a lot of rockets attached.  Flying robots.  Oh yeah!
I looked around.  I could really use a tall glass of Kool-Aid right now.

I saw Rainbow come out of the boutique as I was getting just about ready to get out of the sun.  Apparently she’d caught up with Rarity.
I went back inside the library.  Twilight wrinkled her nose.
“You stink.”
“Vampire repellant.”
Not finding my joke funny, she said, “We have to take care of this problem."
"We could start a support group: Vampires Anonymous."
She shook her head.  "I really hope you make the right decision and tell me what is going on, Valiant.”
“The ‘right’ decision?  Just where do you get off choosing what is and isn’t right?”
“What do you mean?  You could be saving lives!”
“But I would also be going back on a promise I made.  I’d be lying when I said I would never tell who it was.”
“You lie all the time.”
“Not the point.  What I’m saying is, you and I have different views of ethics.  In the ‘greater good’ argument, yes, breaking a promise would make sense to save lives.  In the either-bad-or-good-with-no-middle-ground argument, it’s immoral to break a promise for any reason.”
Twilight shook her head.  “At least promise that you’ll think about it a little.”
Clever girl, getting me to promise.  “Fine.  I promise to think about it.”
Then I left to go sulk.  She’d beaten me in another mind game.  I was a little surprised to find Rainbow outside, shading herself under the branches of the tree.
“Hey, what’s up?” I said.
“Oh, um, nothing.”  She didn’t meet my gaze and seemed uncomfortable.  Well, that was something I hadn’t seen from her before.
I was just about to ask what was wrong, when Pinkie came walking up.
“Oh my gosh, hardest friendship making ever!”
“That’s what she said,” I commented.
“I just spent all day trying my best to get two donkeys to reunite, and then they just give me the brush off like I didn't just give them the most amazing gift ever,” Pinkie grumbled.  She looked at me.  “I could really use a trip to the Gentlecolts’ Club.”
I sighed.  “And I bet you want me to take you there.”
Pinkie grinned like a maniac.  “I’ll bring cupcakes for the trip.”
“All right, fine, but no more hookers.”