"Chrysalis, stop that awful fluttering! It's annoying! And you, Discord, put that chainsaw down! Come on everyone, order, order!" screeched an exasperated Nightmare Moon, her fellow pro-villain-wannabes seemingly deaf to her increasingly ire-fueled demands. Discord turned on the tool and swung it at Nightmare Moon's tail, attempting to slice it clean off her rump.
"Ack! Get away from me, you mongrel! As self-appointed supreme dictator for life, I order you to stay away!" the dark filly cried as the chainsaw passed straight through her glowing tail, not a hair chopped off. Well, not that there was exactly any hair to begin with.
Chrysalis sat down with contempt and mouthed something to Tirek. "WHAT?!" he yelled back from across the table, the sounds of the chainsaw drowning out all else. The changeling pantomimed shouting once more.
"DISCORD, GIVE ME THAT!" the black alicorn screamed, her short temper reaching its end.
"I CAN'T HEAR YOU, CHRYSSIE! SPEAK UP!" Tirek bellowed. Chrysalis rolled her eyes; Tirek gave a huffy snort; Nightmare Moon glowered at Discord.
In Discord's direction, all three hollered in unison, "TURN THAT OFF!", just the moment after he'd switched the chainsaw off and made it disappear with a pop.
"What?" the draconequus said, a yellow halo appearing above his head, not a streak of innocence gracing his words. "There's no need to yell, I can hear just fine."
Nightmare Moon shot him a death glare, one rivaling even the Stare. He sat down next to Tirek and gave a sheepish grin. "Alright," she said, "Now that that's over with, let's get down to busi—hey! Where's Sombra?" The trio of ponies in front of her shrugged. Nightmare Moon's inquiring, turquoise eyes scanned the room, searching for any sign of their last member.
Chrysalis sighed and leaned back in her chair, stretching her hind legs out. One of her hooves bumped into something soft and furry, and her bored expression contorted to a mixture of surprise and confusion. A grumble of displeasure floated up from underneath the table.
Getting to her hooves, the young changeling peered under the piece of furniture, ignoring a series of magical pops coming from above. Sure enough, her hoof had collided with none other than their good friend Sombra, who sat on the floor, hunched over with his back to her. She raised her head to announce her discovery to the rest of her fellow club members, but was silenced with a view of Discord and Tirek covering their mouths with their hands/paw/claw, struggling to keep a straight face. Glancing over to Nightmare Moon for any source of clarification, Chrysalis nearly burst out laughing at the sight she was met with.
Nightmare Moon was leafing through a stack of papers, the official rule book of their newly founded club. Chrysalis let out a tiny snort of laughter as she gazed up at her friend, too absorbed in searching for the protocol to follow when a member was missing, to notice her fur in all its neon pink glory. That wasn't the half of it, though.
Around her neck hung a baby blue pendant with the words 'I luv Discord' engraved onto it with a matching tiara that sat atop her ebony-colored head. Her normally wild and magical mane had been speckled with multicolored hearts and was somehow pinned back into a curl (much like a certain white unicorn's curls) with a giant pink bow covered in glittery rhinestones holding it in place.
All in all, it was enough to make a pony burst into laughter. Or in this case, a changeling.
Chrysalis rolled on the floor, clutching her stomach, laughing so hard that her mirth was silent. This was the last straw for Tirek and Discord, and they allowed their laughter to erupt as well. Nightmare Moon looked up and said, "What? What's so funny?" She sat down, confused, until she noticed she felt something cold and heavy hanging around her neck.
Looking down to the pendant, she almost exploded at what she saw. "DISCORD!!! TURN ME BACK, RIGHT NOW!!!" Through the laughter and fury, a snap could be heard. Nightmare Moon instantly regained her black coat, the jewelry disappeared, and her hair was back to normal. Humphing, the filly went back to searching the papers.
Chrysalis wiped her eyes, letting one last chuckle out, promptly earning a glare from the filly at the far end of the table. "Anyways," she said, "I found Sombra! He's under the table."
Nightmare Moon raised an eyebrow. "What's he doing there?"
"Beats me," Chrysalis replied with a shrug, taking her seat again. Discord snapped his talons, and in the fourth, empty chair, Sombra appeared, ears plugged and eyes glued to the newspaper in his hooves.
"Hey, Sombs!" Discord yelled, cupping his paw and claw around his mouth. Nightmare Moon rolled her eyes and used her magic to pull Sombra's earplugs from his ears. The gray pony looked up.
"Sombra, what were you doing down there? Didn't you know we were supposed to have a meeting today?" Nightmare Moon snapped. Sombra shrugged and looked back to the newspaper.
"What'cha readin' there anyway?" Tirek asked, leaning forward in an attempt to see the papers in the colt's hooves. Sombra looked up once again, then placed the newspaper on the table, allowing his friends to see.
"The Foal's Courier?!" Nightmare Moon spat out. "Why the hay are you reading that tripe?! True villains do not read the school newspaper!"
"Why not?" the red and black centaur questioned with a frown. "There's some good stuff in there."
"Because . . . because," the filly stumbled, "Because it's for wussies! Everyone knows that only babies read this stuff!" Nightmare Moon raised her voice pitch in an attempt to sound younger. "Oh my stars, there's a new butterfly in town! How incredibly exciting!"
She slipped back into her normal voice. "I thought you guys wanted to take over the world with me when you grow up! You can't do that without becoming a villain, and no real villain would be caught dead reading this! Give me that!" Nightmare Moon grabbed the newspaper in her magical aura, incinerated it, and returned the ashes to a heartbroken Sombra. "There. Now we can start our meeting." Sombra gazed up at the filly with watery eyes and sniffled.
Nightmare Moon sighed in exasperation at the young colt. "Shut up, Sombra," she said coldly, Sombra pawing at the ashes of his beloved newspaper. Chrysalis wrapped her hoof around her sniffling friend and scowled at Nightmare Moon, disgust clearly written across her features. Tirek and Discord were giving her similar looks.
The black filly sighed again. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry, Sombra. I'll buy you another one." The quiet colt wiped his muzzle and beamed, to which she gave a weak smile. "Okay. Now can we please start our meeting?" The others nodded. "No more jokes, alright? Everything's serious from here onwards."
*snap*
*POP*
"DISCORD!!"
The draconequus chuckled, then snapped again, relieving Nightmare Moon of her pink coat. "Sorry, I couldn't resist!"
"Really?" Tirek said, unimpressed. "That joke gets old fast, you know?" Discord shrugged in response. Sombra however, had doubled over in silent laughter, much like how Chrysalis had earlier.
"Guys, please," Nightmare Moon took on a pleading tone. "Can we just start already?" She received several grunts and nods. Smiling, she began. "Okay. So, this is the first meeting of E.F.A., Equestria's Future Antagonists—"
"Does it spell a word?" Tirek interrupted.
"What?"
"Does 'Equestria's Future Antagonists' spell something when turned into an acronym? Is 'efa' a word?"
"Of course not, don't be stu—"
"Well it should. I refuse to be a part of any club that's name is an acronym unless that acronym spells something. Take the C.L.O.U.D. Club for example."
"What does that stand for?"
"I don't know, you figure it out."
"Oh yeah, that reminds me," Discord snapped his talons and a pink cloud replaced his chair, "I've created a new type of cloud in my spare time! I call it, 'cotton candy!'"
"Tirek, you just told me that's an actual club's name! If it is a real club, not one that you just made up on the spot, then you should tell me what that acronym stands for!"
"See, it even rains this yummy brown thing!" Discord promptly began to jump on the cloud, the little chocolate milk droplets falling from it proving his statement.
"Just because I've heard of the name doesn't mean I have to know what it stands for, right, Sombs?" Sombra shrank back into his chair. "See? He thinks so too!"
"Does anyone want a taste of my yummy new cloud?" Another pink cloud materialized.
Nightmare Moon groaned. "Whatever, if you don't like the name, then why don't you think of something better?"
"No, Discord, I feed on love, not sugar! You can eat your cloud yourself!"
"Alright then, Moony! What do you think of T.I.R.E.C.?"
"Try it, Chryssie! You'll love it! And even if you don't, it'll build character!"
Nightmare Moon face-hooved. "No! We're not naming our club after you! And don't call me 'Moony!'"
"I don't care about building character! Leave me alone!"
"We wouldn't be naming it after me though! What I mean is 'Tirec' with a 'c'."
"But I worked so hard to make it . . ." Discord stared at Chrysalis with huge, sad puppy eyes, lower lip stuck out and quivering.
"Alright then. What does it stand for?" Nightmare Moon asked dubiously, her forelegs crossed.
Chrysalis sighed and rolled her eyes. "Are you kidding?! You probably just snapped and it appeared like that!" She flicked her tail at 'that.'
"Tirek Is Retching Eggy Cake! Brilliant, huh?"
Sombra sank into his chair. "What is even happening?" he whimpered.
"It isn't nice to jump to conclusions. It could've taken me hours to carefully craft this delicious masterpiece for all you know." Discord said, feigning hurt in his voice.
"Wha—That doesn't make any sense! It has nothing to do with the club! And besides, what kind of idiot doesn't like cake?" Nightmare Moon countered, her annoyance far from concealed. And what kind of idiot comes up with that gross of an acronym, she didn't say.
Chrysalis snarled, "Knowing you, I think it's safe for me to assume you didn't put any time or effort into making that thing."
"It does too! 'Cause I'm part of this club. And respect my feelings about cake!" The two began to yell over one another, not caring to hear what the other had to say.
Discord narrowed his eyes. "Fine then. I'll just ask Sombs to eat my cloud. He's a real friend, unlike some changelings I know." Discord blew a raspberry to which Chrysalis rolled her eyes.
"Oh Sooombraaa!" Discord cried, prancing off. The green and red eyed pony froze mid-step near the exit. Discord wore a confused mien as he studied his friend. "Sombra? What are you doing, buddy?"
"What happened, Discord?" Chrysalis asked, trotting up to him, their heated argument two seconds prior forgotten.
Discord turned to her. "He's leaving, Chryssie! And we didn't even get to have our meeting yet!"
Chrysalis headed back to confront the shouting Tirek and Nightmare Moon, face-hooving at their argument. "Shut up, you two!" she snapped, "There are more important things to worry about, like how Sombra's bailing on us!" The centaur and pony turned and stared wide-eyed at their quiet friend, still frozen in his spot.
"C'mon, guys," Discord said, "Let's just get back to the club meeting, okay?" The filly, changeling, and centaur all nodded their heads in agreement. Sombra smiled as the quintet took their seats, the only difference being Discord's chair had been replaced with a cloud.
"What's that?" Nightmare Moon asked, gesturing to the pink cloud.
"It's a new type of cloud I created," Discord answered proudly. "It's sugary and yummy and rains sweet brown stuff!" Nightmare Moon blinked, then nodded slowly, and turned to address everyone else.
"Okay," Nightmare Moon started once again, a fresh smile on her face. "This is the first meeting of our club, E.F.A., which—"
"Why can't you choose an acronym that actually spells something?" Tirek asked, his countenance showing only bore.
"I'm getting a strong feeling of de ja vu." Discord murmured, the others groaning.
"No, just . . . no. We are not going there again, Tirek," Nightmare Moon growled.
"Relax, guys! I was only kidding." Tirek chuckled, oblivious to the venomous glares he received.
Nightmare Moon stomped a small hoof on the ground, her blood boiling. "WE ARE STARTING THIS MEETING NOW, AND THERE WILL BE NO MORE INTERRUPTIONS FROM—"
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggg!
A timer on the table, set to signify the end of the meeting, went off. Much like at school, it meant that Nightmare Moon's friends were free to escape her merciless oppression.
Nightmare Moon screamed and stormed out of the clubhouse, each step a stomp. All was silent between the four friends until she was gone.
"Anyone up for round two of 'Let's Break Moony'?"