//------------------------------// // Take a Photo, It'll Last Longer // Story: Appledashery // by Just Essay //------------------------------// “Photo Finish?!” Lancie made a grimacing stone face. “Is that the name of a pony or a stag film?” “A pony,” Rainbow said, trotting in circles beneath a leaking water tower atop a thirty-story apartment building. She rinsed her mane and feathers, shaking in an effort to rid herself of every crusty paint stain. “And a very, very annoying one at that.” “Considering your tolerance level, I find that distressing.” “Good. Because this is a totally distressful situation.” Rainbow doused her head, tossed her wet mane back, and peered across the starlit towers of Manehattan. “About half a year ago, Photo Finish showed up in Ponyville, and she nearly tore a fresh manure hole in Fluttershy's and Rarity's relationship.” “Did you witness this personally?” “Well...” Rainbow fidgeted. “No. Not really. But she and I crossed paths.” “How?” “Fluttershy was modeling for a bunch of different things for a while there. Like—no joke—she was pretty much super famous. So, when I found out that she needed somepony to fly a sky banner of her advertising Fillydelphian Carrot Juice, I volunteered. Anything to help out a friend, ya dig?” “I left my shovel at home.” “Anyway, I had to go through Photo Finish first. Seems like the photographer was acting like Fluttershy's friggin' agent. Heck, for all I know, maybe she was. The dang mare kept fussing with the banner that I was tying to my tail, making sure that 'the magics' or some crap were captured just right. I was all, 'Lady, just chillax and let me do the zip-around thing.' And that was the last time I saw her. No doubt she hates my guts.” “Or she's too busy with glitter and glamor to care.” “Right. But—come on, dude—she's a photographer!” Rainbow rolled her eyes and slumped wetly against an air conditioning unit. “There's no way she'd forget a face.” “I think you're just being an anxious blue screen of adeathableness once again.” Lancie paced towards her on tiny stone feet. “You heard the mare when she stumbled in on your artistic defecation!” He pointed across the glittering maretropolis. “For whatever reason, she was moved to tears! Accented tears! I can't even pretend to understand what's possessed her to love you, girl, but she loves you, girl!” “Uh uh. That mare is a nutcase.” Rainbow frowned. “She probably doesn't know what she's saying in two languages half the time!” “You know this because...?” “Believe me. Rarity's told me plenty.” Lancie tapped his fang with a talon and smirked. “Is this the same fashionista with the voice of a vampire and the narrative subtlety of a burning goat?” “Yeah, well, Fluttershy vouches for all of it.” Rainbow folded her forelimbs with a frown. “And so I believe it.” “Sometimes I think you have a crush on the wrong pony...” “Don't push it, bub.” “Heh heh heh...” Rainbow sighed, standing up. “I gotta face the truth. I'm lucky as heck. We got out of that studio apartment unscathed. If she got one look at me and attached it to the break-in—” “I still think she would have accepted you in open forelimbs.” “Yeah, and what of the friggin' security that was there with her?” Rainbow exclaimed, her muzzle agape. “Once she had burned out on her eccentric ways, they would have hoof-cuffed me and carted me off to Manehattan jail! And I'm willing to bet that's the smelliest jail there is!” “Pffft. After what you just been through? Your cellmates woulda just huffed your mane and collapsed with a smile on their muzzles.” “Please, you're not helping...” “Sparky, I'm trying to!” Lancie gestured dramatically. “I'm telling you that you should go back, kiss-up to that mare, and get on her good side!” “And what in the hay is that going to accomplish?” “If anypony knows the combination to that safe, it's her.” He punched his stone fist. “Winning that photographer's confidence could mean learning the combination. Learning the combination could mean opening the safe. Opening the safe could mean getting my shard back... and getting my shard back means adding a metaphysical spit-shine to the mare-of-your-dreams! Don't you get it, Sparky?! Win-Win-Win!” “Where's the third 'Win' come from?” “Photosynthesis, of course!” “Photo Finish.” “Whatever. If you ask me, what with that whole paintjob kerfluffle, you're halfway there! So what's stopping you?!” Lancie thrusted his pelvis towards the building's edge. “Take flight, already!” Rainbow stared out at the cityscape. She took a long breath, her ears folding. “No,” she said. “Nnnnngh!” Lancie stomped his foot. “And why not?” “What I just did is technically a crime.” Rainbow turned to glare at him. “And returning to the scene of that crime is the worst idea in a long list of bad ideas. If I wanna get in that safe, now, I gotta do it in a way I'm not used to.” “Handsomely?” “Patiently,” Rainbow grunted. “Right now? I'm soaking wet. I'm tired. It's time to go home.” “To P-Ponyville?!” “No, to Ponycoat Junction.” Rainbow gripped him by the neck and shoved him into her saddlebag. “What do you think?!” She spread her wings. “If I go now, I can make it there before sunrise.” “Sparky, I'm telling you, there's no need to complicate this!” Lancie hung onto her saddlebag for dear life. “We gotta go back to Foo Fighter's apartment now and get it over with!” “No! I am not ending up in jail! I've got enough on my plate without having to slip that under my belt again.” “Wait...” Lancie squinted. “Did you just say 'again—'?” “And stop poking me over Photo Finish!” Rainbow frowned as she glided off the rooftop. “Right now, she's the last thing I want to hear myself talking about.” Rainbow downed the mug of cider, exhaled, and slapped it onto the table top. “So... any of you mares know a pony named Photo Finish?” “No,” Caramel said. “Nope.” Bon Bon shook her head. “Why, should I?” Lyra yawned, hoofing through a magazine full of musical instruments. “She bombed any schools lately?” “Lyra...” Bon Bon sighed. “What?” Lyra shrugged. “Heck, if I was foaled with a name like that, I'd wanna take it out on society too.” “Unngh...” “Why you ask, Rainbow?” Caramel looked across the bar table, his eyes bright. “Sounds like a photographer. Did you break another flight record or something?” “Er... no...” Rainbow bit her lip, fiddling with the lid of her empty mug. “I... uh... I j-just hear that she's big in fashion and I wanted to know more about her.” All three ponies stared across the table at her. “... ... ... ...right,” Lyra said. “Don't look at me like that!” Rainbow frowned. “It's genuine curiosity!” “I've never known you to be a curious mare, Rainbow,” Bon Bon said with an amused grin. “You live a life that doesn't slow down for answers.” “Heh... damn straight.” Rainbow smirked—then lightly slapped herself, shaking her head. “Brbrbrbbrb—anyways... back to Photo Finish.” She gestured. “So I hear that she owns some bigflank studio apartment up in the high rise buildings of Manehattan.” “Yeah...” Lyra flipped a magazine page. “...so?” “So, how exactly does a photographer earn enough to afford such a place? Manehattan apartments don't come cheap.” “Maybe she takes photos for the government?” Bon Bon mused. “Mmmmm...” Lyra smirked evilly. “Or photos behind the government's bedroom doors.” “Would she really earn money by blackmail?” “Heck, I'd give her an apartment like that as a consolation prize for having the balls.” “Photo Finish is a mare's name, Lyra.” “I stand by what I said.” Just then, Vinyl Scratch trotted up. “Sorry I was gone for so long, guys. What are we talking about? Blackmail and balls?” “Business as usual,” Bon Bon droned. “Cool beans.” Caramel scooted out. “Here. I saved your seat for you, Vinyl.” “Thanks, Cici.” Vinyl sat down once again to her music sheets. “You're such a gentlec—” She winced. “Er... y-you know what I mean.” “Heehee...” Caramel sat back beside her. “It's quite alright.” “What if... like...” Rainbow thought out loud, fumbling slightly. “...I had a very important mission to do...” “What kind of mission?” Bon Bon asked. “A mission for... uhhh... the Elements of Harmony!” Rainbow smiled nervously. “A Harmonic Mission!” “Sounds stupid.” Lyra glanced sharply over the periodical. “I'm listening.” “And for this Mission to be done—for the good of all of Equestria—I required, like, a truly badass photographer. Perhaps the most badass photographer in all the land.” “Uh huh...” “Who would I have to contact to find such a pony?” “Well, that's a very daunting question, Rainbow Dash,” Bon Bon said. “But that's not the issue at hoof.” “Huh?” “I mean, you already have your heart and mind set on this Photo Finish character, so why bother looking elsewhere?” “Because nopony but me seems to know who she is!” Rainbow exclaimed. “Who, Photo?” Vinyl murmured while sketching on a number sheet. “I've met her several times. What's up?” Rainbow did a double-take. Her eyes blinked as she leaned across the table. “You... know Photo Finish?” “Pffft. Who in the night scene doesn't?” Vinyl glanced up, her shades glinting. “I've deejayed at several of her celebrity parties.” “You have?” “Yeah. Heck... I've got another gig with her coming up a week from now. Manehattan, come to think of it.” Rainbow stared, gawking. “What are you looking at me like that far?” Vinyl's brow furrowed. Suddenly, her ears folded. “Ah jeez... is this about the port-a-potties I knocked over at Burning Mare?”