Nikolai slowly trudged back into town after a long day of work. The Russian never managed to get any sleep last night, thanks to the combination of his hangover and Lyra's creepy smile. On top of that, the day's work had been long and hard. Rusty had tried to be friendly, but Nikolai did not feel like talking to his boss that day, even if just casual small talk. Today was a perfect day for a drink with Berry, and he was more than glad that she had made the offer.
The stares from the townsfolk were still common to see, but they had become much less prolonged than they were in the past two days. Now, they were only glances, short little scans of the human. Even though Nikolai was still freaked out by the ponies' curiosity, he was happy that he wasn't getting as much attention as he had before.
"Wait up, darling!" He heard a familiar voice call. Looking back, he saw Rarity trotting up to him, this time smiling. He noticed that she carried measuring tape with her magic.
"Oh, hello Marshmall-, I mean, Rarity. How goes your day," Nikolai decided to at least fake friendliness. After all, Rarity was doing him a big favor, at least in her eyes. For Nikolai, a big favor was simply handing him a truckload of vodka.
"It's going absolutely spectacular," she smiled as she levitated the tape measure around Nikolai. "You don't mind if I get your waist measured quickly, do you, darling?" She asked.
"Nope, go nuts, Rarity."
She was true to her words, and was done quickly. "Your outfit has been coming along quite well. Of course, it's more of a side project than my current works, you don't mind, do you?"
Nikolai shook his head. "Rarity, you don't have to do this. Nikolai loves his uniform."
Rarity sighed. "I know, darling, but your outfit would be a. . . How do I put this delicately? Laughingstock by ponies all over Canterlot and Manehatten. It wouldn't exactly be the best way to introduce your species to them, don't you agree?"
"Nikolai knows little about fashion, but he will go along with it if you think it's for the best."
Rarity smiled happily. "Don't worry Nikolai, the fashionista is on the case!" She paused. "Although today is a day off. Is there anything you want to do?"
Nikolai nodded. "Yes, in fact, I am going to go out drinking with Berry Punch," he held up a small, brown sack of bits, his daily pay. "It's kinda neat that this world uses actual gold coins."
Rarity pondered to herself. "I'm usually not a drinking mare, but I think I would appreciate a drink or two. You wouldn't mind if I were to tag along, would you, darling?"
Nikolai put a friendly arm around Rarity, smiling. "Of course you can come. The more the merrier."
The two continued walking into town, eventually running into Berry Punch, who sat on the bridge.
Berry smiled warmly at Rarity. "Well, if it isn't Miss Prissy," she said in a joking tone. "Good to see you, Rarity! How goes things at the Boutique?"
Rarity returned a joke. "If it isn't Miss Intoxication. Things are going quite swell, Berry. Nikolai informed me of an outing to the bar. I hope you don't mind, but I decided to join you for the occasion."
Berry nodded. "Of course, Rarity. We'd love the company."
"Wonderful, drinks for everybody!" Nikolai laughed merrily.
"Well, maybe just one for me," Rarity assured. "I don't want to get anything more than a nice buzz."
"Aw," Nikolai frowned. "It's no fun when you're only a little drunk."
Rarity sighed. "Nikolai, you really need to learn the concept of self-control."
"All Nikolai needs to learn is where this bar is at, then he would be a happy Russian," the drunk managed a calmer smile.
Berry chuckled at their exchange as the three began to happily trot to the bar. It didn't take long to reach the destination. It was a rather cozy-looking establishment on a street corner, and it looked surprisingly welcoming and peaceful for a bar. A small sign next to it had The Hopping Gryphon etched in a neat carving.
"Wait, does this place have gryphons, too? And do they hop?" Nikolai questioned.
"Ah, yes, some gryphons do live in Equestria. I wouldn't know if they hopped, I only ever met one. She wasn't exactly friendly with the townsfolk, I'm afraid," Rarity commented.
"Yeah, what she did to Fluttershy was uncalled for. She was a bitch," Berry frowned.
"Berry, language," Rarity chastised.
"Rarity, we're at a bar, I'm pretty sure there aren't any fillies around to hear my cider-mouth."
Rarity shook her head. "Still, it is not ladylike to swear."
Nikolai belched loudly.
"Neither is that, Nikolai."
"Hey! Nikolai is no lady! Nikolai is big, strong, manly, Russian, with chest hairs on his chest hairs!"
"Chesthairception?" Berry thought out loud.
"I guess so," Nikolai replied, casually opening the door, letting the three inside.
The bar looked very similar to a typical small-town bar. It was small, with a few tables and a bar with about ten barstools. The floor was wooden, just like the walls. There were a few windows, and some candles that were currently not lit, presumably as a night-time light source.
A pegasus mare sat at the counter, cleaning a shot glass with surprising enthusiasm. She had an exceptionally red mane that was rough and unkept like Berry's, an equally bright teal coat, green eyes, and a single cherry for a cutie mark. At the sound of the door opening, the mare looked up from her work and eyed the three customers with a smile. The bar was almost empty, much to Nikolai's surprise.
"Heya, Berry Punch! My best customer!" She greeted happily. "How are things?"
Berry returned the smile, as did Rarity and Nikolai. "Things have been going great, Cherry Pop. It was a good day at work, and I brought some friends over for some drinks," she sat at one of the bar stools, followed by the other two. She pointed a hoof at Rarity. "I believe you two have already met before."
"Ah, yes, Miss Rarity. I see her occasionally," she smiled at the mare.
"You do make some absolutely delightful cider, if I do say so myself," Rarity admitted.
"And this guy," Berry playfully smacked Nikolai's arm. "You could say he's new in town."
"Hello, my name's Nikolai. Do you have any vodka?"
Cherry nodded, not at all visibly surprised by the human. "Of course, Nikolai. We have some of everything," she waved a hoof at the various bottles behind her. She was right; everything from beer, to whiskey, to alcoholic cider, to vodka. "What will you have, Berry?"
Berry pondered this for a few seconds. She was an adventurous drinker, always willing to try new things. "Give me some of that new cider. You know, the kind that they make with zap apples?"
Cherry Pop's smile faded. "Are you sure? I heard it's only for the truly adventurous."
Berry frowned. "Cherry, I thought you would know me better than that."
Cherry laughed a little. "Relax, Berry. I was just joking. Of course you can have some," the bartender then turned to Rarity. "And what about you, Miss Rarity? The usual cider?"
"Oh, you know me well," the unicorn allowed a polite smile, opening her bit bag and pulling out three bits with her magic. "It's cheap, too!"
"Yeah, pa always said that the way to a pony's heart was through cheap liquor. He wasn't wrong, business is as good as ever," Cherry explained as she poured a mug of cider for Rarity, a shot of vodka for Nikolai, and another mug, this time zap apple cider, for Berry Punch. "If things keep going like this, maybe we can open a branch in Stalliongrad, bars always do good there."
"Oh, yeah. I've always wanted to go to Stalliongrad sometime, but it's too far north, and I've got to stick around for the berry-picking anyway."
Nikolai gulped down his shot. "Oh, that was good. Another, please?" He asked as he put four bits on the counter.
"Of course," Cherry assured, pouring another shot. Nikolai gulped it down without any hesitation.
Rarity calmly sipped her cider. "This is rather delightful. It's definitely well worth the cost."
"Thank you, I am the best bartender in town."
Nikolai, still sober, realized something. "Aren't you going to gawk at me like the rest of these ponies?" He gestured around the room. The evening rush had yet to arrive, but a few other ponies were scattered around the bar, most stealing an occasional curious glance.
"No, you're a customer, that's all I need to know," Cherry retained her smile as she went back to cleaning a glass. "Let me know if you need anything else," she said as she went over to serve some other ponies.
"So, how was your first day on the job, Nikolai?" Berry asked. "I remember Twilight saying something about it after you left this morning."
"It was a long day. Days seem so much longer now that there are no zombies to kill. The others are lucky."
Rarity pondered to herself about what kind of world did Nikolai come from if he genuinely missed killing zombies. It gave her a shudder just thinking about it.
"Killing zombies sounds way more fun than picking berries," Berry Punch agreed.
Rarity nearly spit out her cider when she realized that Berry actually agreed with him.
"But, eight hours of carpentry, it's not fun, it's way too easy. I'd rather be helping Richtofen with his crazy antics."
"Richtofen is such a funny name, sounds like something out of Muneighch. Your world sounds awesome, Nikolai,"
"Not to me," Rarity groaned. "Cherry, darling," the unicorn waved at the pegasus. "Another mug, please?" Cherry nodded, pouring another mug as Rarity paid for it.
Nikolai chuckled. "Well, well, looks like someone wanted more than one drink, after all."
Rarity managed a smile. "Yes, it seems I need a little more to relax. Two should be enough," she reassured both Nikolai and herself as she took the refilled mug into her hooves.
. . .
"This is not good," Nikolai flat-out stated. Berry, right next to him, was laughing uncontrollably at the scene that unfolded in front of them.
"What do you *hic* mean I've had *hic* enough, darling? I've got half a mind to reach over this counter and kick your flank!" A drunken Rarity threatened an absolutely terrified Cherry Pop.
"Miss Rarity, please! Go home, you're drunk!" Cherry Pop urged. The other customers watched in awe. Rarity growled ferociously at the statement.
"I'm not *hic* drunk enough to buck you up!" She levitated a random bottle from the shelf and smashed it, creating a weapon. "I'm not going to ask *hic* you again, darling. May I please have another BUCKING mug?!"
"Rarity, Nikolai thinks it's time to leave," He urged, though he was also half-drunk himself. Berry was practically rolling on the floor, emitting an obnoxious drunken guffaw.
Rarity turned on Nikolai, holding the bottle to his own throat. "It's not time to go until The Raremeister says it's time to go, hairless monkey!"
"Why does everyone keep calling me that?!"
"Because you are one!" Rarity cried before switching back to Cherry. "Now, about that drink..."
The sound of another bottle breaking cut into the uneasy atmosphere.
"Back off, Miss Rarity," Cherry calmly ordered through her jaw, clenching a bottle of what was once vodka.
"No! Such a waste!" Nikolai cried sadly. He broke his own bottle, and held it at Cherry. "I can't let anymore alcohol become wasted. I'm sorry, Cherry, nothing personal.
"Hands. . ."
Nikolai turned around, noticing Lyra Heartstrings holding a large butcher knife to his back. Needless to say, the Russian practically shrieked.
"Hands off!"
To his surprise, Berry smashed her own bottle, and held it against Lyra. In less than twenty-four hours, the two had changed from bitter rivals, to good drinking buddies. Nikolai smiled at Berry.
Nevertheless, things had developed into a Mexican standoff. Rarity held a bottle to Cherry, as did Nikolai, Cherry held a bottle to Rarity, Lyra had a knife to Nikolai, and Berry had a bottle to Lyra. Nobody really knows how Lyra had snuck into the bar with a knife, but she had come to make her move.
"So," Nikolai asked, everyone still ready for all-out war. "What do we do now?"
"Stare at each other tensely, for dramatic effect!" Berry insisted.
The five participants all stood, motionless, the rest of the ponies in the room watching the drama unfold with awe. That is, until Rarity drunkenly swung the bottle at Cherry, with predictable slowness. Cherry effortlessly dodged, set the bottle down, and knocked Rarity in the noggin with her hooves, knocking out the drunk seamstress.
Nikolai, occupied with watching the fight unfold, managed to get lucky when Lyra swung the blade, as it just barely grazed his right hand. The drunk Russian backed off into the back of the bar, ready to stand his ground. Berry got ready to subdue, Lyra, but a surprise buck from the unicorn caught her off guard, causing her to get slammed into the wall.
At this point, whatever order that remained in the bar dissolved into such a chaos that would make Discord himself proud. As the remaining ponies in the bar scattered, Lyra slowly trotted over to Nikolai, her butcher knife idly swinging in the air. The drunk Russian scanned around for a weapon, anything. His eyes settled for a barstool that sat next to him.
"Back, psycho pony!" Nikolai warned fearlessly. "Back, I say! Nikolai commands it!"
Lyra did not stop her advance, she was just now out of swinging range. "I want your hands," she muttered, still retaining a slasher grin. "After all these years of waiting, my wish is finally going to come true."
"Uh, wrong," Nikolai spat. Lyra immediately swung the knife, but Nikolai blocked it with his stool and whacked Lyra back.
"Cherry, a little help?!" Nikolai frantically asked the bartender. "Please?!"
The bartender was too busy staring at Rarity's unconscious body, horrified that she had to resort to violence against such a notorious pony.
"Psycho pony! Think about this! Is it really worth it?!"
Lyra chuckled, closing in for a second attempt on Nikolai's hands. Nikolai raised his barstool to block the incoming attack. The green unicorn was expecting this now, and swung the blade in such a way that it sliced the barstool into pieces. Luckily, Nikolai's hands remained unscathed. Without the stool, however, he was unarmed, and out of options. Lyra was right on top of him. Nikolai closed his eyes and waited for the pain. However, nothing came but the sound of whipping rope. Nikolai opened his eyes in confusion, only to see Lyra wrapped up in a lasso.
"What in tha' hay is goin' on here?" A familiar voice echoed.
"Applejack! Thank God, you arrived just in time!"
"Ah' come in for a late-night drink, and ah' have to deal with this?!" She gestured with her free hoof at the scene. Rarity remained unconscious and frizzled, Cherry cowered behind the bar, Berry was lying up against the wall, gripping her abdomen in pain, Lyra was struggling to break free from Applejack's grip, and to top it all off, several ponies were knocked out during the anarchy.
"Things escalated quickly," Berry groaned. "Ugh, Lyra. . ."
"Lemme go!" Lyra pleaded. "I need his hands! They will be mine!"
"Call the police! We need to put her down before she hurts somebody else!" Nikolai pleaded.
"You mean the guard? I'm on it!" A random stallion unicorn nodded and sprinted out of the bar.
Nikolai, now confident that he was alright, ran over to Berry to help her onto her feet.
"Lyra caught me off-guard," The drunk pony frowned, struggling to stand, even with Nikolai's help. "I hope she didn't break my ribs."
Applejack eyed Rarity and sighed. "Did she go out drinking again? She always says she'll have only one, then she has five or six."
"Yeah, Nikolai was surprised to see her so profane when she was drunk. It was funny, well, until she decided that she wanted another drink."
"Thanks, Nikolai," the drunk pony smiled. "We're cool, right?"
"Oh, yeah, of course. You helped Nikolai back there. But, we need to finish that drinking contest sometime, right?"
Berry smiled slyly. "You bet, and I'll win for sure next time."
Nikolai laughed merrily. "We'll see about that, you drunken fool!"
A local guard finally busted in the door. "I came here as soon as I heard. I hope everypony is OK."
Applejack was busy hog-tying Lyra. "Yeah, good thing."
"So, she finally went off the deep-end?"
"'Fraid so. I think she got a little too excited when she found out humans are real. What are ya' going to do with her?"
"Normally, I would arrest her and send her to be judged by the Princesses, but since It's obvious that she's mentally unstable," he gestured at the unicorn, who cackled wildly. "Yeah, I think she deserves a trip to Ponyville Hospital's Mental Ward until the Princesses can get a hearing with her."
Applejack sighed. "Sorry, Lyra, ah' always did like ya'."
As the guard began to drag Lyra away, things began to die down again in the bar, Nikolai walked over to Cherry, and produced his bit bag.
"Nikolai is sorry, he wants to help pay for damages," he reached into the bag, but only felt the soft cloth. "Oh, wait. . . C'mon. . . Nope, no money, sorry,"
"It's OK, Nikolai," Cherry gave him an understanding look. "I'm just glad this Rarity and Lyra fiasco is over."
The guard reached the door and noticed that Berry lied on the ground, clutching her ribs. "Do you need to go to the hospital, mam?"
"No, no," Berry reassured. "I think I'm good. Nikolai here will take me home, right Nikolai?"
"Oh, da, OK."
Applejack held a bottle of whiskey in her mouth, and had Rarity carried out to a cart. She set the bottle down to say farewell. "Ah' guess Ah'll take Miss Drunk-Off-Her-Ass back home. Take care, you too!" She smiled and waved as Nikolai lifted up Berry into his arms.
"See ya sometime, Applejack," Berry yawned.
"Don't forget, you still owe me for that cider you stole. That was hard on the farm."
Berry blushed, embarrassed. "Oh, yeah, right."
"Bye, Applejack. Nikolai will see you soon. . . Maybe for a drink."
Nikolai swung Berry over his shoulder as the two began to walk home.
"Hey, watch it!" Berry pleaded.
"Oh, but you're so heavy. Holding you up makes Nikolai's arms so tired."
"I'm a pony, a little pony."
"My Little Pony," Nikolai chuckled, leaving Berry confused. "Just kidding."
"So, what happened at the bar, that was unexpected."
"Oh, it was awesome! Who knew that something like that could happen in a land of bright little ponies?"
"Uh, I'm pretty sure most of the readers would know that," Berry added. Her sentence was followed by a loud thud of another wall collapsing.
"I'm going to find out who's destroying this wall over and over again!" The same unknown voice from chapter 3 vowed.
Night had fallen on Ponyville now, and the streets were much less crowded than they had been in the daytime. Those who did walk the streets did so in small groups of friends, obviously heading to various outings. The atmosphere was much more peaceful than it had been during the busy day. Berry pointed out her house from a long row of identical houses, and Nikolai let her inside.
"OK," the drunk Russian said as he set her down and opened the door. "Here we are," he eyed Berry's house. It was rather scattered and chaotic, with empty beer bottles littering the floor, a torn couch with multiple stains of what Nikolai assumed was alcohol, almost no light entered the room, only a little dim moonlight from a window.
"Wow, looks like Nikolai's house, except no bitch wife complaining of hard times."
"Yep," Berry found the strength to stand and limp onto the couch. "I really need to clean this place out sometime," she put pressure on her ribs and groaned in pain. "Bucker got me good."
There was an awkward pause.
"So, yeah, tonight was fun! We should do this again soon!"
"Hopefully with a little less Lyra, though," Berry frowned. "Tomorrow, I'm going to the doctor's office."
Nikolai wasn't really sure what to say. "Well, I better get going, Twilight must be worried sick."
Berry nodded. "Thanks for taking me home, hairless monkey."
Nikolai allowed himself a small smile. "You're welcome, rainbow pony."
. . .
Twilight paced back and forth nervously, while Spike sat against the wall, giving her an annoyed glance.
"Stop worrying, Twilight. I'm sure Nikolai is all right."
"He should have been home hours ago, what's taking him?"
"Maybe he's working overtime?" Spike offered.
"Unlikely," Twilight answered. "It's just-"
Twilight was cut off by a door slam, she turned and saw Nikolai walk by.
"Where have you been?!" Twilight asked. "I was worried sick about you!"
"Drinking with Berry Punch," Nikolai smiled warmly. "It was fun night, to say the least."
Twilight facehoofed herself. Of course, how had she not seem this coming? "Well, I sent word to the princesses about your arrival today. They want you to come to Canterlot tomorrow. They say this is important news."
"What about work?" Nikolai questioned, hoping to trump the nervous Twilight.
"I talked to Rusty about it, he said I had just missed you. He agreed to give you a day off tomorrow. There's no refusing their summons."
Nikolai sighed. "Great, a day off where I have to go to play politics. Nikolai is tired," He complained as he grabbed his two mattresses and put them together. "He'll leave this for future Nikolai to worry about."
Twilight hesitated, and shrugged. If that was the way he wanted to deal with it, then that's how he would get it.