“One thing I have to say is that it was quick and thank Celestia for that. I dont know if I could handle a slow painful one.”
I opened my eyes to see that infact I was in a room that looked very similar to the court waiting room. White walls, black stone floors as well as a receptionist what looked about as thrilled with her job as a pony at the local McHayfries. Approaching the counter I cleared my throat. She looked up at me and picked up a clipboard and pen with a small stack of papers.
“Fill out the first page with your information and take a seat till the door opens, admitting you.“ She said as a scroll appeared beside her in a puff of white smoke. She quickly dismissed me as I picked up the clipboard and pen then found myself sitting down looking over the contents. ‘Date of birth, Name, age, sign?’ I didn't know what that was about but I continued to write and read. ‘place of birth, place and time of death.’ I did a double take of that one and looked up at the clock and rounded back ten minutes. After finishing off the questionnaire the door across the hall opened slowly as the darkness inside beckoning me forward. I stood up placing the clipboard on the reception desk as the mare picked it up.
“Please proceed to the office he will see you now.” She said looking over the paper and signing a few lines. Hesitantly I made my way into the darkness and as soon as I was far enough in the door it closed behind me startling a squeak from me. A light turned on and a hooded pony sat at a desk. I couldn't see their face but my gut told me who it was. Death. Robotically my body moved forward and I sat across from him. He looked to his computer screen and began to type with his bone hooves. Ok I should mention I'm pretty numb at the moment and seeing an undead pony typing just did it for me. I fainted.
"Yooo hooo. Vine... Get up sleepy head." A male voice called to me.
"Don't bother me I'm tired." I said annoyed. Which garnered a chuckling voice from the stallion. Opening my eyes I saw a shiny white skull with empty sockets and an ever smiling grin of a skeleton. My eyes became pinpricks.
"There you go all wide awake now?" He said calmly.
"Y-your." I stammered.
"Dead? Haha well comes with being death but eh." He shrugged.
"You get use to it." He put his hood up and then quickly removed it and where a skull was now a chocolate brown coated stallion with a black mane was smiling at me.
"How?" I blinked.
"Oh bones and the doom and gloom is all about the uniform." He said offering a hoof to help me up. I took it and looked at him confused.
"What is going on?" I asked
"You my dear are dead and well before you fainted I was pulling up your profile and I have to say you have messed up your life, fraud, putting innocent ponies away, corrupting evidence..." He made a clicking sound as he shook his head in disapproval. I felt the guilt gnawing away at my insides.
"I'm not proud but I did it because I was getting paid to do a job." I said weakly.
"You indeed were paid to do bad job, but you were good at it, maybe that's why she choose you. But eh who am I to judge I'm retiring finally!" He said smiling.
"Wait what?" I asked cocking my eyebrow.
"You heard me. I'm done now that my replacement has come. Oh and if you didn't guess you're it." He said giving me a wink. It was then my legs gave out.
"Why...how...who?" A torrent of questions rushed my mind all wrestling to be spoken.
"Don't know, but come on I'll give you the skinny, and well have you reaping in no time haha." He smiled. He opened a closet, closed it then a key floated out and entered the lock. Reopening it, sunlight poured in through the door frame. Standing up I shakily walked up beside him. Through the door was the town of ponyville. I had grown up there.
"How?" I asked.
"All this and more will be given to you. You don't need to be a unicorn to have things do your bidding without a hoof or a mouth. Very convenient if I do say so. So anypony can be the reaper." He then proceeded to walk through the portal. Following him I looked around surprised and slightly homesick. I hadn't been home in a long time. I looked over to see a pony walking towards me and I was about to say something but it died in my throat as she passed right through me.
"....." My jaw hung open. Death chuckled.
"You get use to it. Now to explain how to reap a soul." He said casually. I felt odd and uncomfortable to say the least. He began to walk along the road and turned a corner, walking towards the hospital. I gulped as we walked through the doors instead of opening them. Getting into an elevator three other ponies entered.
"Burr is it cold in here or it just me?" One asked another.
"No I feel it too, so odd it's usually so comfortable." The other pony agreed. Death chuckled looking at me.
"We tend to be too cool for the living." He then laughed out loud stomping his hoof as if the joke was just to funny. I looked at him cynically. As he wiped a tear away.
"Whooo that's a good one." He said to himself. For death he was oddly quirky.
The elevator stopped and they got out. He walked past the desk with a nurse doing paperwork. They stopped at a door. He pulled up his hood and all sense of fun and play were gone. He walked into the door as I followed. The room was bare as an elderly pony laid there surrounded by three other ponies all very much younger than himself. The old pony was smiling as they looked on teary eyed at him.
"Dad...you have been so strong I...I don't know what I'm going to do without you." The one on the left said placing a hoof in the elders forehoof. He coughed and quickly the other pony cleared away the saliva that had been coughed up. Death then stood at the end of the bed where the elder pony looked right at him and smiled nodding at him. Death nodded back solemnly and forebodingly. I looked between them as my heart sank. His scythe lifted up over him as the old pony looked at all of his children and smiled lovingly.
"You will all do fine my little ones...if time has told me anything is that my love for my family is more important than anything. Remember my son the Bar is a business but family is everything..." He turned his head to look at his two daughters.
"Look after your kids...I love them so much...and find a mare for your brother..." He laughed jokingly but it turned into a violent coughing fit as they all looked on worriedly. Deaths scythe touched the ponies forehead and his body went limp. He lifted his scythe as a ghostly apparition of the pony followed after the scythe and gently landed beside her.
"Dad...dad!" The stallion exclaimed horrified as he clenched his teeth in pain. One of his sisters came up behind him, quickly hugging him as they all began to cry. A nurse came into the room but could already tell, she quickly but gracefully placed the covers over the elders face. The ghost of the old pony began to tear up as he saw his kids begin to mourn his passing. Death placed a hoof on his shoulder and silently pointed to the window as the light began to brighten, he smiled as an old mare smiled and waved at him encouraging him to cross over to the light.
"I'm coming dear." He chuckled as he walked into the light. Death looked at me.
"Bar Stool. 87. Various medical problems. Diagnosed with leukemia 3 months ago. We are here to end his suffering. Its surprising it developed now. He has been bedridden for two months. Vine. The job you are to inherit is very important. We reapers are meant to keep the balance of nature and give rest to the ones in pain. As well as keep harmony between both sides of nature." I could only nod as the scene before me was too gut wrenching for words. Death turned to the door and placed the magical key into it, opening it to reveal the office. Going into the office the pony secretary stood up and smiled as they entered.
"Hello. I have a few things you need to sign. So your retirement is without problems." She said as he nodded and chuckled.
"Of course." He said as he took a pen and began to sign his signature.
"Also Vine lots of paperwork. Apple Scroll here is amazing in that she does most of it giving you the time for your duties as Death." He explained, finishing his last signature. Apple Scroll pulled out an old looking piece of paper, several signatures were on it with numbers beside them.
"This is the Death contract." Apple Scroll began to explain.
"This contract binds you to carry out your duties as death and also makes sure you adhere to the regulations and rules that come with the position." She said
"If you agree and sign the contract your job begins automatically."
"If I accept? I get a choice?" I asked surprised.
"Well yes, you can say no but with your track record you take this job or well get punished for 100 years. Its not the good kind of punished, trust me." Apple said surely.
I took the contract and began to read it. Being a lawyer I read contracts all the time looking for flaws and loopholes in them to exploit but this one was different.
"To whom ever accepts this contract you are accepting the responsibilities of the office and station of Death. As such you must adhere to the rules and regulations that are involved with it. Out of all the rules and regulations you can read in in the guide book 'How to be Death for Dummies' that will be provided to you. This contract is non negotiable and you accept that you may have to deal with situations that would kill your average pony. Decapitation by demon or angels can be brought to the attention by the ministry of angel/demon abuse. Earth is your domain and anything that is not without proper license to be there are to be automatically transported back via asking nicely or diplomacy 'aka scythe'. Any problems that are not mentioned in the contract may be elaborated upon in your handbook. Again thank you for choosing to upstand the ideals of Death." I simply looked at them as they smiled.
"Decapitation....really." What stuck with me.then I read again out loud.
"How to be Death for dummies? You have to be pulling my leg." I said.
"No its true. Fun fact one of the prior deaths desired to start writing the series of books on how to do things. You get bored in retirement or so I hear and well, need to preoccupy your time haha." He said.
"So this or hell?" I asked unenthusiastically.
"Well its not called hell but yea essentially yes." I looked at them.
"What do you call it?" I asked
"New maresy..." He said then couldn't help himself as Apple Scroll looked at him half lidded.
"I won't miss your crummy jokes." She said. He was still laughing despite both of them look at him not getting it. After he calmed down he chuckled a bit.
"Well its called Hades. Like how old Greek ponies called it." He said. I didn't get it but there were a lot of things I still didn't get. I looked back at the contract and placed my signature under the last one and a number 17 appeared beside my name. Suddenly my body became cold as the robe that was on Death leaped from him and assaulted me or well what I thought was assault but it turned out to be very warm...comfy not heavy or too light.
"700 years and now I feel naked..." He said as he floated the scythe to her and touched the butt end of it to my head. I felt a hot explosion of magical and supernatural energy envelop me. I looked at the scythe as it hovered in front of me. I gave it a command and it swung and then I brought it to my side.
"Death..." I began to ask.
"Please its Tootsie Pop." He chuckled.
"Come again." I asked pulling my hood down.
"Ya I use to be a candy store owner and well I died in my store fire and well I got picked. Now its you. There is a scroll in your pocket located in your robe that well can carry like anything, within reason. But anyways, the scroll shows where you have to be and when. There are your contacts you can get ahold of at anytime via scroll or for emergencies...I say again 'emergencies' you can use a mirror by drawing the number by the name of the pony you wish to call , that way you can have a face to face time." He sighed and smiled. I looked at him.
"I don't feel ready." I said.
"Your first couple of days you won't but I think you will fit into this job nicely. Vine...I mean Death." He winked at me. I looked at him with half lidded eyes.
"Well I'm off." He said pulling out his own magical key as he opened a door and the sound of jamarekan music could be heard.
"I'll be havein a bomba clockin good time mon." He said pulling a hat from nowhere and stepping through the door closing it. Leaving me and Apple Scroll who turned to me.
"Well ain't no rest for the dead if Death isn't working. Your first customer time is nigh and well its time for you to go." She said taking her seat behind her desk. I looked at the scroll and a name burned itself into the parchment.
'Feather Bright. 14. Stage 4 cancer." My heart ceased in my chest. How can I deal with this...
The key shook as I lifted it to the door and opened it leading me into a hospital ward.