Codename: Cutie Mark Crusaders

by Amante

Operation W.R.O.N.G.

weird
reality
overwhelms
naive
greenhorn

It was a bright and sunny morning in the beautiful town of Ponyville. Ponies milled about their business, meeting friends, talking over coffee, discussing the weather and all sorts of good and wholesome things. Meanwhile, all their good little fillies and colts were at home doing their chores and being well-behaved.

One particular group of fillies had taken good behaviour to astounding new heights. As such, most everypony knew them as the Delightful Fillies from the Tree House. The last part of their title came from the fact that they lived in a very large, hollowed out tree in the center of town.

The inside of this tree was very welcoming with beanbags, sofas and softness all around. The walls were also lined with shelves, each filled with books: the personal collection of the Delightful Fillies. The tree house also served as the town’s unofficial library. Any grown-up pony who would want to borrow could just get from it. They didn’t mind, so long as it was returned, of course.

Not to say that they didn’t also interact with the other fillies and colts from around town. As a matter of fact, they particularly liked playing with the five foals who tended to hang out at the tree house over at Sweet Apple Acres. At the moment, they were playing a friendly game of cops and robbers with one of them. The robber was currently caught and in a, surprisingly effective, play prison.

“Really, Numbuh 1. Did you actually think you could waltz in here just like that,” the six Delightful Fillies said in unison.

“Ah don’t understand,” cried Apple Bloom. Her front hooves were hanging by chains from the ceiling of a tall crystal cage levitating just above a bubbling green pool with a wire fence running along its perimeter. Her gaze was locked towards a particular orange filly. “Why, sis?”

The orange filly tilted her head. The other five likewise tilted their heads. “Whatever do you mean?”

Apple Bloom’s eyes narrowed. “Why would you tie me up like this.” She let out a grunt. “And would ya’ll stop speaking together. It’s really creepy.”

“Now, now, Apple Bloom. Why wouldn’t we catch you? We are, after all, sworn enemies. You and your entire Cutie Mark Crusaders.” The harmony in their voices was jarring to say the least.

As the poor filly struggled against her bonds, near the center of the room the six supposedly delightful filles watched in amusement. They stood close, almost uncomfortably so, and all had slightly sunken eyes with their lips curled in a slight pout. From above, they formed a rough hexagonal shape with one filly at each apex.

The front left was occupied by a striking cerulean pegasus filly with a rough prismatic manestyle. Her pale-ruby eyes, though shaped with a distinct sag, shined with a certain enthusiasm that lay hidden behind closed doors. Her wings twitched every once in a while, but otherwise she kept perfectly still. She was called Rainbow Dash.

Beside her was a pristinely white unicorn filly with a shiny, gorgeously coiffed violet mane. The front of it came to rest in an elegant curl that sat just above her horn, whilst the back flowed a little straighter and ended by her left shoulder. The sapphire of her eyes glinted with sophistication and made tiny, almost unnoticeable movements towards anything reflective—as if trying to catch even a glimpse of herself. They called her Rarity.

On the second row to the left was a particularly pink filly whose darker pink mane was so straight that it managed to follow almost every contour of her head to her shoulders, where it ended, perfectly. Her tail was likewise straight, almost looking like a waterfall whenever the breeze hit it. Her aqua eyes were frozen in a sulken, bored manner. Her name, appropriate for her colors, was Pinkie Pie.

Beside her was the very orange filly that Apple Bloom had hoped to meet in this world, Applejack. Her short, blonde hair was mostly covered by an obviously-too-large-for-her stetson that also managed to obscure her emerald eyes. Her face was blank—almost lifeless—as she stared at her chained up sister. Her figure had more obvious toning to it; which for Apple Bloom confirmed that she did still go to the farm.

The left half of the final row was occupied by a filly that was noticeably taller than the rest. Indeed, her flowing pink mane stood well above all the other fillies. Though she stood tall, and had a somewhat contorted and grumpy expression, her turquoise eyes nonetheless had a very distinct sense of fear, or perhaps pity, in them. This is probably why Fluttershy concealed one of them with her hair.

The final pony was a different creature altogether. Her purple mane was short and cropped, with a pink and violet stripe cutting the middle, that parted just above her horn. Below that were her striking amethyst eyes. They squinted slightly and were glazed with an expression of curiosity and malice. Unlike the others, her posture was completely straight as she radiated an aura of authority and control. As she observed the captured filly, her mouth was curled in a smirk of triumph. This was Princess’ very protege, Twilight Sparkle.

The six of them spoke, in unison, once more. “Honestly, we knew you brats were dumb, but what did you think you could accomplish by literally walking right up our front door?” The rest of them put on smirks like Twilight’s. “Perhaps this is a trap of some kind? Ha. We doubt you’d be smart enough for something like that.” The six of them began a sniveling, monotonous, and simultaneous laugh.

Apple Bloom furrowed her brows and directed a weak glare at the group of self-assured fillies. Whoever they were, she was pretty much convinced they were not the nice and loving ponies she knew from her home dimension. She deflated somewhat in disappointment. So much for getting home with their help.

As the Delightfuls noticed their prisoners sudden despair, they ceased their laughter as their expressions softened. “Hmmm,” they said. “What’s this? Giving up so easily, Apple Bloom? This isn’t like you at all.” The smirks returned posthaste. “Perhaps you might want something a little sweeter.”

Light flashed from the horns of Rarity and Twilight Sparkle. The green goop of the trap drained away as the floor of the pool opened up. A cauldron filled to the brim with boiling caramel emerged as the bottom of the cage receded, leaving poor Apple Bloom hanging by her forehooves just inches from the boiling sugar. Sweat began to make her way down her blank flanks as the heat started to head up her body. Her eyes darted between her captors’ before settling on… her sister’s.

Those few moments of locked eyes were enough to make Applejack more than a little uncomfortable. Through some telepathic link, the other five fillies began to feel the same uneasiness as their smirks slowly morphed to gaped mouths of realization.

“Wait a second,” they said. “You really aren’t-”

The Delightfuls were cut off by an explosion from above. They were then summarily buried by a torrent of debris composed of leaves and branches. A pair of ropes dropped down as two distinct voices echoed through the room.

“Go! Go! Go!” cried Rumble as he rappelled into the room, his wings flinging marbles all over the place.

Dinky had made herself known by dropping down using a bungee cord long enough for her to bounce around the room and  with four CMC standard issue rifles strapped to each of her limbs. She spouted a battle cry that sounded more like an exotic bird’s mating call as bolts of plasma bounced around the library atrium.

The marbles that had been strewn about cracked open; from each of them smoke, enough to clog a gymnasium, turned the air inside into a thick sludge of smog. The two operatives put on tiny little gas masks that fit nicely over their, likewise tiny, muzzles. As Rumble got to his leader, he pulled another mask from places that shant be discussed and placed it upon her bowed and sulked head.

Apple Bloom tried her best to look at her rescuer through the thick haze. The best she could figure was a foal sized cloud, taking something from its bag and applying it to her chains. In an instant, the sensation of falling came back to her before being caught by the little colt. She felt herself rising and entered a fetal position as best as she could in his arms.

Peering through the mask’s visor, she noticed the smoke getting thinner until they popped up and out of the fray. Up above, What looked like a train’s caboose floated just above, kept in the air by four horizontal propellers around its top edge. Its door was replaced by those of an elevator which slid open as she and Rumble neared it. As they boarded, the door opposite opened from which Dinky bounced back and landed neatly on all fours, her weapons falling to the floor on impact.

Rumble looked to his leader as he took off their masks. “Numbuh 1.”

Apple Bloom returned a blank stare as her vision jumped from his eyes to the interiors of teh caboose.

Rumble grimaced. “This isn’t good Numbuh 2. Looks like she’s got the same delirium the others have.”

Dinky approached the two and grabbed Apple Bloom. “Come on, Numbuh 1. I know you're in there somewhere.”

Apple Bloom could only furrow her brows as her jaw opened slightly.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!”

The words echoed and came like waves, causing their ship to sway slightly in its force. The three ponies looked down into the thick, grey smoke. A large metal pincer—just about the size of a filly—shot out and grabbed onto on of their propeller engines.

Rumble’s eyes shot open. “Numbuh 2, get us out of here!”

He was too busy shouting to notice that Dinky was already in the pilot’s seat. She pushed the controls to get the ship to surge forward... to no avail. “You gotta do something about that claw!”

Rumble nodded slightly before checking his harness and jumping towards the offending metal appendage.

Apple Bloom watched in wonder as the young pony, with one hoof, grabbed and secured himself to the claw, and with the other brought out some more of the liquid he had applied to her chains. Now that she could see it, it was having an acidic effect as it slowly melted through the claw. A few drops wouldn’t do this time, though, as it merely applied superficial damage to the denser metals.

Thinking quickly, Rumble, instead, went slightly lower and applied it to the hinge that allowed the claw to open and close. Though it wasn’t enough to burn through completely, it was enough to loosen its grip onto their ship.

“Alright!” shouted Dinky as she punched the throttle, causing the ship to shake as it broke free.

As Rumble reeled himself back inside, a glass dome with a metallic base emerged from the smoke. Apple Bloom’s eyes tripled as she noticed that within the dome and surrounded by multiple flashing buttons and levers were the six ponies (or was it fillies now?) that she admired most. Three long, thin legs stepped out of the hole in the tree library  As they put some distance between them and the Delightfuls, Apple Bloom got a chance to see the entirety of their walker.

One of its pincers was damaged, but it still had another. The chase was on as the massive tripod walked casually through the streets, keeping surprising pace with their flying caboose.

In Apple Bloom’s mind, the scene was terrifying. On some level, though, her mind also processed it as a giant platter with a glass cover, serving some delightful filly candies to some significantly larger being. The other part of her head scolded it for thinking such immature thoughts at such an inopportune time. It shrugged—or as best as mental personalities could manage to shrug—in response, saying that it couldn’t help it. After a moment of staring, the frightened part agreed that it did actually look like that somewhat.

A large laser that Apple Bloom was certain could not possibly fit emerged from the bottom of the walker and began firing upon them.

“Arrgh!” Rumble jumped into a nearby seat, brought down a targeting visor and locked onto the walker.

Apple Bloom could see faint colors shining through the windows as several beams raced towards the Delightfuls. They bounced harmlessly off the shiny glass surface causing the arrogant smirks to reappear on their muzzles.

“Gonna have to do better than that!” they said together.

In response, Rumble pushed almost all the buttons on the console in front of him. Various new orifices opened up all over the caboose and from each, missiles and rockets of all sizes blasted out and converged straight for the walker.

Rainbow and Rarity casually pushed buttons on their sides of the control panel. The metal base of the walker spun around and opened up revealing thousands of tiny holes whose mere description would be enough to give a trypophobe severe attacks. From them, tiny interceptors burst out, neatly nullifying any threat that Rumble’s barrage could have possibly posed.

Feeling confident and tired of these silly games, the Delightfuls made both claws of their walker extend towards the CMCs airship, summarily hitting the two rear propellers and causing them to catch on fire.

Not getting enough lift, the entire thing began to plummet out of the sky.

“Well, looks like our caboose is getting cooked!” yelled Numbuh 2.

The entire thing came down in a spectacular crash that sent its entire contents—fillies and colts included—out and onto the nearby fields. At the least, they were much closer to home turf and to the rest of their CMC arsenal.

Rumble stood and, with excuding confidence, hit a button from the airship that had landed in front of him.

A large mechanical rabbit that was assembled from various, cannibalized car parts jumped out from the brush behind them. It’s ears were made of sleeker, bended and painted metal and wiggled slightly, acting as sensors of some type. It had large, red, glass eyes that must have been used for when somepony was actually piloting it. It reared up on its hind legs and gave a fearsome, mechanical roar.

The Delightful walker approached and positioned itself above the mech—and promptly brought down its full weight against the poor rabbit. As it began to rise again, bits and pieces fell off the bottom of the walker as the rest of the machine lay in a crumpled and crushed mess.

Rumble blew up at his bangs. “So much for that…”

“Numbuh 3’s gonna be disappointed,” said Dinky.

As the walker approached, and with it some overly satisfied Delightfuls, Rumble had but one thing to say, “RUN!”

The three of them ran so fast that they all managed to leave a short streak of their various colors in their wake. From high up in the walker, Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but be impressed; and invariably angry that there were others who could do that. She flicked a switch that caused various lasers to shoot out towards the running CMC operatives.

“AHHHHH!” was all Apple Bloom had to say about the situation she found herself in.

As they crossed the next hill, the distinct and extremely large shape of their treehouse came into view.

“Come on, we’re almost there!” Rumble said between breaths.

The four of them intensified their mad gallop.

“Oh no you don’t!” said the Delightfuls. One of their claws extended and managed to latch onto one of Rumble’s legs. They dangled the poor colt in the air as they gave off another bout of monotonous laughter.

“Lemme down!” shouted Rumble.

“Oh no!” cried Dinky as she came to a stop. They were close enough to the treehouse for it to work. She looked at the structure and found the tiny figure she was searching for. She beamed as she opened her her mouth so shout, “Now, Cutie-Patootie!”

Apple Bloom looked up and her jaw returned to stretches. Every balcony on their massive treehouse was filled with numberless, little, furry, adorable hamsters. A chunk of them pulled out tiny, adorable blasters and started shooting the large walker. Others pulled out tiny cannons and started loading their friends into it.

They burst and sent hundreds of tiny hamsters hurdling straight towards it. As they latched on, they each pulled out their own little power tool and began to physically hack away at the thin legs of the Delightful machine.

“What the?!” they said, still in unison. Their chamber shook and rattled as it’s meager supports were slowly chipped away. “No!”

When the first leg gave way, the Delightfuls decided to cut their losses and get away. Rocket boosters popped up from the bottom as the control dome separated the necessary appendages.

Rumble, since his wings were still too small, fell and landed flat on his muzzle. “Ugh,” was all he had to say.

As the Delightful’s machine zoomed out of view, the hamsters and Dinky began to jump and cheer at the CMCs latest victory, and success of one of their most daring rescue missions ever. Even Rumble, who had a slightly crooked nose from the ordeal gave his own hurrah.

Apple Bloom fell onto her haunches and could only watch as her mind desperately tried to process what exactly just happened. It wasn’t working. She got up and, climbed up the ramp of the treehouse. She needed to talk to someone sane, leaving her with only two options left. The two fillies she was trapped here with. At least, she hoped they were the fillies she knew and not some bizarre, insane, crazy, cooky version from some alternate world.

As that last thought fully processed in her head, she couldn’t help but shake it. She also briefly considered raiding the Apple family’s cider stores.