The Eve of Tirek's Invasion
Canterlot Palace
"I shalt not wait here like some helpless damsel to be guarded!" The heavy doors to the darkened throne room were shoved open by the weary weight of a trembling body, one barely able to support itself. "I am the Night! I am the guard!" A pair of weak, quivering hooves thrust themselves onto the cold marble outside. Cold perspiration gleamed on her otherwise impeccable midnight-blue fur. Her night-sky mane was tousled and frayed but she was still every inch the proud Regent of the Night.
"Luna..." A shaky voice called out from within. The withered form of Princess Celestia at the throne reached out a weakened hoof for her one and only sister. "Please, just stay. Have faith." She pleaded, wearily, wincing from the exertion.
"I do, sister. I trust in Twilight Sparkle." The guardian of the moon growled, panting laboriously as she leaned against the door. "But hark, power or no, I am Equestria's guardian. T'is my forsworn duty to at least evacuate our people to safety." She breathed, gritting her teeth, as she put all her weight on her four hooves. "Guard!" She bellowed. "To me!"
"Y-Yes, ma'am." A quivering voice replied. A young, trembling guardsmare shuffled forwards. Her dark armour, obviously two sizes too big for her, identified her as one of Luna's own night guard. "Please, allow me to help you, ma'am." She rushed over to Luna's side, offering her small waiflike body as a crutch.
"My gratitude, good guardsmare." Luna grunted, gratefully leaning on the young thestral's lithe frame. "I hath never clapped eyes upon thee afore now. Thy name, soldier?"
"P-Private Moonlight Sonata, ma'am, of the 13th Palace Guard Reserve." The young thestral stammered as she strained under Luna's weight. "Previously Discord statue duty, ma'am, called back to active duty for today. That is why you've never seen me, really. The rest are out fighting. I'm afraid I was the only one tasked to remain." Luna noted how the guardsmare did not elaborate on why. She carefully avoided asking. Together they stumbled forth through the empty halls, the echoes of cries and screams from the city the only accompaniment to their hooffalls.
"Good. Thou art my personal guard for today." Luna strained, shuffling forwards weakly, before pausing for breath at the palace doorway. She peered out at the city, a sea of grey under the rainy sky, all tinted by the red of fire and ruin. The few remaining flight-worthy pegasi valiantly braved the skies to bring more fire-fighting rainclouds in. Luna took a deep breath as she put her best hoof forwards. "Come, Moonlight. Some good we may do for the people afore the end!"
"Yes, ma'am!"
Donut Joe's - Canterlot -
Plink....Plink....Plink.....Plink....
"Mmmmh. 5 more minutes."
Plink....thump....Plink....thump....Plink....
"Nnnghhh! 10 more minutes!"
Thump.....thump....thump....thump....
"Alright, alright, you win. I'm up." A hoof shot out to turn off the nagging alarm clock. Except there was no alarm clock, just a tea cup on a saucer, its teaspoon tinkling violently under the heavy thundering tremors. Warm Hug blinked blearily as he peered down at his bed. Except it wasn't his bed, it was the deserted counter at Donut Joe's. And his pillow had been some donut sprinkles strewn across an open copy of the EverNews™ Daily. "Oh, right, I don't have an alarm clock. Or a bed. Not anymore." He sighed, remembering he had just gotten off the first airship away from 'home' with little more than a hoofful of bits and headstrong determination.
He patted off the sprinkles out of his long sparkling white and ice-blue mane as he picked up the newspaper. "Forecast: sunny with a chance of rainbows." His storm-gray eyes scanned the first page before peering out of the empty donut diner at the pitter patter of the rain outside. "That's weather pegasi in the big city for you." He went on speaking to himself, having had a lifetime's practice at the art. When you've lived your entire life as a crystal miner you quickly learn that crystals don't make for very good conversation partners.
"Oh, today's fortune. Unicorns...pegasi...ah, crystal ponies." He quickly found the fortune for his tribe, a recent addition to the daily news. "Let's see, 'Luckiest Day Ever. You will befriend many interesting new people today. Your lucky colour is red. Beware hot sauce, toilet seats and water soakers. Today is a good day to join your fellow crystal ponies and smile, be happy and spread love and hope across Equestria. Remember, the Crystal Heart relies on you.' Oh, lucky me. Friends to make. Hot sauce, toilet seats and....modern techno-ma-jiggy to avoid." He said to himself jovially, "Except I came here to be away from that rock." His smile quickly turned into a frown as he put down the paper with a huff.
"Uh, anypony back there?" He called out to the store as he reached into his saddlebags with his muzzle to pull out a small bag of bits. "I want to pay my bill!" He said. That usually brings them out. Except this time it didn't. "Maybe he's busy cooking? I smell burnt sugar...and, uh....sulphur? And smouldering tin?" He blinked, recognizing the familiar smells from a lifetime of working the crystal mines under the tyrannical hoof of some mad crystal despot. He could practically taste the smell of what he had long come to associate with hate and anger on his very tongue.
"What is he burning in there? Sheesh, big city ponies really do eat actual junk." He grimaced, before generously leaving four bits on the counter. "That should cover it, plus a tip. Cause I'm generous like that. Whoah!" No sooner had he placed the money down did he notice his dawn-blue crystal fur gleaming more brightly than usual. "What did he put in those sprinkles? Glitter and rainbows?" He blinked, turning his hoof this way and that, casting an eerie prismatic glow across the deserted donut diner.
Thump....thump....thump....thump...
The thunderous tremors intensified, booming like falling tombstones, shaking everything in the diner violently. The tea cup rattled its way across the counter before smashing onto the ground at Warm Hug's hooves. "Whoah, that wasn't me." He looked around wildly, "The big city really is weird. Are they mining with explosives or something?" 'Except they shouldn't be mining the street outside', his mind thought urgently. "Hey, today is my lucky day, right?" He chuckled nervously, slowly turning around on his bar stool. "What's the worst that could happen?"
"Now! Run for it! Run for the shelters!" Four ponies broke out of the weather shop across the street, hooves splashing madly through the puddles as they made a frantic dash down the road.
Beams of nightmarish red light lashed out down the street, capturing all four ponies. The ponies screamed as if their very souls were being sucked through the freakish red straws. Warm Hug could only watch, jaw hanging open in shock, as their cutie marks dissolved into nothingness. Instincts built through dodging prowling mine foremen kicked in. He leapt for the nearest booth, flattening himself underneath the window like a desperate little crystal limpet.
He cautiously peered out over the edge of the window sill, ears twitching nervously. He couldn't help but give a little gasp at what he saw. There, standing in the middle of the street, was a pony towering as tall as the crystal library. Well, about as pony-ish as a creature with 6 limbs and two massive painful-looking horns can be. Oh, and it was also red. "Lucky colour, huh." He chuckled bitterly as he watched the creature's massive jaws open wide like the gates of Tartarus itself. Strange wispy smoke rose up from the ponies before gathering in his open mouth. "Yikes, big city ponies really do eat actual junk." He muttered, gulping. "Obviously nutritious junk though." He murmured, noting how massive the hulking figure was.
The four ponies fell limply to the ground like straw dolls, their blank flanks giving off a few leftover crackles of magical energy. "Hey, being a blank flank isn't all that bad. No need to overreact." Warm Hug muttered, glancing down at his own blank flank.
"Now that's what I call fast food." A droll voice chuckled. A dark and rather disfigured serpentine shadow flew about the hulking red monster holding what looked like an upside-down umbrella. "Speaking of, I know a good place at the palace that serves really good marshmallows. Shall I call ahead and make a reservation?" The dragon-like mismash of a creature said, pulling out what looked like a tin can on a string out of thin air. "Hold on, I think the line is occupied." He said, pulling a squirrel out of the tin can.
"No, I want you to go find a way into that underground shelter." The massive horned creature said. "Half the city must have made it down there by now. I need to suck out all the magic I can get if I am going to face the alicorns."
"Sheesh, who kicked the can and made you captain of the ship." The dragonesque creature kicked his can with a clawed foot, somehow turning it into a large barrel, complete with a mast and sail. "Definitely not me. Now, before I hand you your shovel, I'll tell you this. Luna and I put our heads together to build those gates into the shelters." He said, pulling his face off to reveal a party mask underneath, one with regent of the moon's semblance. He pulled down the blueprints to the city's underground shelters out of thin air and pointed at a caricature of himself standing outside one of the gates. "And I am so brilliant I surpass myself. Literally." The caricature said, knocking on the gate. "They are Discord-proof, everything-proof. Comes with a lifetime warranty too."
"Then start preparing to pay out that warranty." The pony-ish monstrosity growled. "You had better have a gate open when I finish with this next building." He said, stepping up towards what looked like one of the local theatres.
"Sure....partner." The serpentine creature muttered, climbing aboard his barrel while rolling up his blueprints. "We're still a happy ship, right?" He asked the barrel with a frown. "Don't give me that wooden stare. Come on, we have a job to do." He dipped the blueprint into the street which somehow parted and rippled like a pool of water beneath it. Then, making a very loud raspberry-like sound, the dragon creature blew into the rolled-up blueprints, propelling his barrel away down the street with a slew of bubbles.
Warm Hug remained quiet a moment longer, watching as the red giant smashed through the front entrance of the theatre as if it were crystal crackers. The iridescent gleam in his coat seemed to dim a little as the monster grew distant. The giant seemed to take the smell of sugar and sulphur away with him too.
"Holy crystal balls." Warm Hug muttered, "Sucking out magic? Is that what happened to those ponies?" He peered out at the downed ponies lying in the rainy street. "Do I have enough bits for a ticket out of here?" He peered down at his purse. "Nope. Looks like I'm stuck doing the next best thing - Spreading hope and being lucky. And one of those I'm all out of." He peered over the edge of the table and noticed a giant bottle of EverHot™ hot sauce perched in the condiment rack. His hoof kicked against an abandoned sack at the foot of the table, one that inexplicably contained strange devices labelled 'EverWet™ Water Soakers'. "Luckiest day ever, huh? Now all I need is a toilet seat." His trademark mischievous grin spread slowly across his muzzle. "Now let's go befriend someponies."
Mane Street - Canterlot -
"Mothers and foals first! Assist the infirm and elderly! Aid thy fellow pony! Everypony, make thy way to the underground shelters in an orderly fashion!" Luna barked at the top of her Royal Canterlot voice, making herself heard over the rainfall and the anxious crowd. Her vision blurred, her breath caught on every other weary heart beat as the exertion took its toll on her. But nevertheless she stood tall and proud, an achor of certainty amidst the sea of fear and panic. She stood towering at one end of the pony-thronged chaos that was once Mane Street. Only her shepherding presence alone prevented the slowly shuffling lines of evacuees from turning into a panicked mob.
"Ma'am. T-This is forward of me, b-but, please, you're unwell. You should rest, really." The guardsmare, Moonlight, said.
"Rest shall come with Tirek's wrath." Luna muttered, panting behind her sodden forelocks. "Report on the enemy position."
"The last guardspony I saw a minute ago told me Tirek was last seen exiting the Royal Concert Hall at the other end of the city." Moonlight reported. "There were civilians fighting him, reportedly miss Octavia, miss Spitfire and miss Lyra Heartstrings. I do hope they're alright."
"Brave ponies all." Luna muttered, bitterly. "I can only hope Tirek sparred their lives at least." She bit her lip sullenly. "What am I doing here, helpless as a newborn foal when my own little ponies art out fighting my fight."
"You've done a lot for us already, ma'am." Moonlight said, encouragingly. "You built Canterlot II in the old gem mines underneath the city. Without that we wouldn't have anywhere safe to evacuate the citizens to, really."
"We lost too much in the changeling invasion of the city. A lesson learned at such a high price is a lesson worth practicing." Luna said, gravely. "We owe it to Cadence. We wouldn't have discovered those old gem mines without her, the poor soul."
"Tirek! It's Tirek!" A pony at the far end of the line shrieked. The entire street of ponies exploded into mindless panic as they began to push and shove in a mass of hysteria.
"Calm thyselves, my little ponies!" Luna barked. "Keep calm and carry on! I shall protect thee all with my life if I must!" She barely finished her sentence before the very demon of her living nightmare burst out of a bakery and onto Mane Street in an explosive cloud of dust and debris. Three ponies were thrown out of the plume of smoke like helpless rag dolls, landing in a rolling heap in a newsstand opposite. A cello sang a discordant note as it flew through the air after them, smashing in a wave of newspapers.
"Oh, pineapple and cream." The familiar voice of one Lyra Heartstrings groaned from amidst the pile of ponies. A trembling mint-green hoof wiped a thick dollop of cream off its owner's mane. "It's always pineapple and cream." She sighed, giving it a taste. "Oh, better than what the audience throws. I should tell them to buy their ammo there next time." She chuckled weakly to herself.
"Oh, I won the Canterlottery." The unimpressed voice of one Octavia Philharmonica said as she pulled a sodden newspaper off her face. "Except I left the ticket in the concert hall. And it is now on fire." She looked up at her smashed cello poking through the newspaper stand's roof. The last string snapped with an ominous twang. "Yes, I feel lucky." She nodded. "I can't feel my hoof though."
"Hon, that's my hoof you're holding." The pained voice of Captain Spitfire sailed up in reply from somewhere deeper in the pile of newspapers and debris. "Yeah, that bright golden yellow one."
"Oh, sorry." Octavia was quick to put it down, patting it gently.
"It's okay, I can't feel it either." Spitfire said, dismissively.
"That doesn't sound 'okay' at all." Lyra contributed.
"Be honoured. You three have at least earned yourself a taste of my power!" The monstrous form of Tirek bellowed, his heavy hooffalls shaking the street as he stepped towards the newsstand. "Rejoice, for there is no greater tombstone than my hooves." He reared back, horns crackling with fiery magic that threatened annihilation of an absolute variety.
"No!" Luna cried, screaming inwardly for her weary body to move. But no matter how much she willed it she knew she wouldn't be fast enough. For the briefest moment she cursed her sister's decision, her decision, to give away their power.
"Hey, buckie! Heads up!" A voice promising good behaviour called out from behind the hulking monstrosity. It quickly broke said promise as its owner hopped up the monstrous centaur's back before leaping high above his head. The bluish-white blur slammed a toilet seat on Tirek's head as it sailed by, sending the centaur stumbling forwards. "Watch that first step!" There was a thunderous crack as the pent-up magic discharged straight at the ground at Tirek's hooves. An explosive blast of nightmarish red light erupted beneath them, hurling the mighty centaur back into the bakery from whence he came.
The bluish white blur landed on four hooves before the newsstand. "Didn't your mom ever tell you not to play with your food? Cause one of these days they might just bite back." A pair of sapphire blue eyes twinkled with mischief underneath the sodden snow white mane. Beneath them spread a playful grin. The little puffs of steam rising from the muzzle, however, betrayed just how nervous its owner was despite the bravado. His telltale sparkly dawn-blue coat marked him out as a crystal pony, one a little older than a colt but not quite a stallion just yet. Most eyes on the street, however, were quickly drawn to the random water soaker slung over his blank flank. "Hey, you three back there? You alright while I give this guy the first dance? I don't want him getting jealous." He called back towards the three mares in the newsstand as he unslung his water soaker.
"Yeah, go ahead, hon. I think my dancing days are over." Spitfire winced as Lyra and Octavia carefully pulled the Wonderbolt Captian's rearhooves out from under the rubble. "Y'know, I think I'm lucky I can't feel'em. I don't think that leg's supposed to turn that way."
"You'll be fine. Just breathe." Octavia said, soothingly, as she strained under Spitfire's weight. "I left my dancing shoes and my guts at home. You go ahead. Just get out safely." She called back to the colt.
"Ooh, he's got a lot to be jealous about. I mean, we're practically waltzing out here." Lyra said.
"Puns. Bad puns." Octavia muttered, wincing painfully.
"Make it to the second dance, okay?" Lyra called out. "And thanks, uh...."
"Warm Hug." The colt said.
"What? Right now?" Lyra blinked. "Kinda not the right..."
"No, uh, that's my name. I've got better pickup lines." The colt quickly added, fighting not to faceplant the street. "Yeah, I know. I'm trying not to think about how it would sound on a tombstone right now." He was running his mouth, he knew, but he couldn't help it. It was his in-built reaction to being scared flankless, especially when he let his balls do all the thinking for him. Like right there and then. Piddling himself was a close second and at the time it felt much, much too close.
He nervously chuckled to himself as he considered that was the closest he's ever gotten to bothering to ask a mare out with more than his name alone. "Hope this isn't the last." He mused out loud to himself. But there was no time for that, he had flank to kick, a water soaker to pump.
As he pumped away at the pressure handle on the water gun he couldn't help but feel rather self-aware of how awkward he looked making pumping motions in the middle of the empty street. "Uh, there's a very deep reason for this." He said to nopony in general as he turned to regard the big billowing cloud of dust and debris that was once the bakery. A beam of ghastly red energy lashed out of the smoke, coiling about him like an arcane serpent. "Not good." He gasped as the beam pulled taut as if intent on pulling something out of him. Except whatever it was never came out.
The smoke cleared to reveal Tirek, jaws wide open, waiting for its latest feast. His expectant look, however, quickly turned into a deeper and darker frown. The red beam intensified as his thick white brows furrowed in concentration.
Warm Hug gave a nervous chuckle of relief. "That's right, beardface. You're not tasting this flank. Got no cutie mark, see?" The crystal pony grinned, crystalline blank flank gleaming. He levelled the water soaker at Tirek's open mouth. "Got more hot stuff to make up for it." He pulled back the trigger on the soaker, squirting a jet of violent red juice straight at Tirek's open mouth. "Eat EverHot(TM) sauce, buckie."
"Whaa-rrburbleburblegraaaargh!" Tirek choke and sputtered before somehow managing to turn two shades redder. "AAAARGH!" He shrieked, thick hot steam billowing from his mouth and ears as fiery hot tears ran down his cheeks.
"You've got tears in your eyes. Let me fix that." Warm Hug said, adjusting his aim. It earned him an unearthly scream from Tirek as the massive centaur reared back in agony. "Now you got hot sauce in your eyes. Hot." He grinned, watching as the centaur charged into a nearby hardware store in his blind anguish. The store promptly collapsed on top of him. There was a touch of finality as the giant hammer perched atop the store's sign collapsed in with the store's roof, raising a plume of thick choking dust.
"Phew." Warm Hug collapsed onto his watergun with a sigh of relief. "Well, that's one way of getting hammered."
"You nailed it, colty!" Lyra cheered from further up the street where she was still limping along alongside Octavia carrying the injured Spitfire between them
"Another pun and I'm going to nail something else." Octavia growled.
Something didn't sit right with Warm Hug. The air around mane street still tasted strange to him. It was that now familiar smell of sulphur and copper mixed in with sugar. It gave him a strange electric tingle that he couldn't quite explain, one that sent chills down his spine all the way down to his hooves. His crystalline fur was sparkling brightly once more despite the rain. In fact it was practically glowing now, almost alarmingly so.
He gulped. Something told him this wasn't quite over yet. He got back onto his shaky hooves as he eyed the ruins of the hardware store warily. 'Just until those three get off the street' He thought to himself encouragingly. But his nerves offered no reassurance. Neither did his bladder.
Further up the street Luna was carefully ushering the last of the straggling evacuees. "That colt is doing a commendable if unorthodox job keeping Tirek at bay." She said to herself. "Moonlight? Sitrep." She asked as her personal guard trotted up to rejoin her at her side.
"Yes, ma'am. The Sun Gate to Canterlot II is shut. The Moon Gate is being shut as we speak. The remaining evacuees are being directed to the furthest gates, the Friendship and Love Gates." Moonlight reported. "Another flight of night guards are enroute from the Sun Gate. And I've brought the medic you requested." She nodded at the off-white pony cantering up the street, the nursing cap perched on her candy-pink mane quickly identifying her as one of the hospital nurses.
"Phew, made it. At your service, your highness. Nurse Change'A'Heart." The nurse panted her introduction.
"Medic? Moonlight, she's not a soldier." Luna pointed out. "And she's injured." She pointed at the makeshift splint tied around the nurse's right hindhoof.
"A fashion accessory. That's what this is, ma'am." The nurse said dismissively, though she was obviously limping and favouring her splinted leg. "And a soldier. I am one. Of Love." She winked. "Ouchies. Just point me at them. I shall kiss them away. With the power of love."
"Thou possesses commendable spirit." Luna gave her a little nod of approval. "Changeling." She added, eyeing the telltale changeling badge pinned to the nurse's cap.
"Changeling?!" Moonlight squeaked, fearfully. After the briefest moment of hesitation she leapt shakily in between Luna and the changeling nurse, intent on shielding her princess. "S-stand b-back from the p-p-princess, y-you."
"Brought me. You did." The nurse rolled her eyes. "Choices. You have none. I'm all the nurses in the area. SnowHeart. TenderHeart. SweetHeart. FireHeart." Green bursts of changeling fire erupted forth from the young nurse as she quickly swapped through all her nursing guises in quick succession. She finally settled back on her off-white pink-maned form, giving a little chuckle at the look of slack-jawed awe on Moonlight's face. "As I said before. Changeling nurse Change'A'Heart. At your service." She gave a quick little curtsy.
"Stand down, Moonlight. Good work." Luna said. "Forgive my guardsmare, she is keen if a touch overzealous. I would gladly welcome thy aid, fellow citizen." She nodded at the changeling. "Those three over there need assistance. You and Moonlight shall get them medevac'd. Now." Luna nodded at the three injured ponies making their way up the street. "I'll stay and....that colt!" She gasped, watching as Tirek emerged from the ruins of the hardware store, charging towards the crystal pony.
"Uh, defo not good!" Without really thinking Warm Hug turned tail and ran for it. Needless to say there was no outrunning a centaur five times his size. As Tirek bore down on him, ready to stomp him into the street, Warm Hug's legs slipped on a pool of water, sending him skidding through a puddle.
Crystalline sparks lit up about his glowing hooves. Prismatic light danced across the little puddle. And then, quite inexplicably, the puddle froze over in a straight line in his wake. The crystalline puddle burst into a shower of shards under Tirek's hoofstomps, quickly wrapping themselves about his hooves in four rapidly spiralling blossoms of crystal. The frosty mannacles held fast, stopping Tirek's legs dead in their tracks, allowing the rest of his body to lurch forwards with his momentum. His body sailed over Warm Hug as the crystal mannacles snapped under the strain. There was an almighty crash as Tirek smashed into the newsstand the mares had occupied just minutes before. Frayed newspaper flew up into the rain, fluttering soggily in the wind.
"Whoah!" Warm Hug blinked as he peered through the fluttering newspaper storm to watch Tirek roll on through the newsstand to crash into a grocery store behind it. "Might want to get a new face while you're in there! And get me some painkillers too!" Warm Hug called out, before peering down at his hooves in wonder. "What the hay just happened?" He asked the flaming bluish-white glow about his hooves as if expecting them to enlighten him. "I'm pretty sure I've never had one of them hooficure things."
"Frost magic?!" Luna gasped, almost staggering back in her surprise. "He's a Windigo?!"
"Whoah, him? A windigo?" The battered form of Lyra gasped as the trio finally limped up to Luna's side with Moonlight and Change'A'Heart's help. "Chilling but Cool."
"I don't know what hurts more. My body or your puns." Octavia groaned as she hobbled up towards Luna. "Shall I help you compare?"
"Hon, I'd point out it's that sort of attitude that summons windigos, but right now I ain't complaining." Spitfire said from where she lay across their backs. "As long as he kicks his flagrant red flanks I wouldn't mind if he was a parasprite."
"Your breath. Don't hold it." Change'A'Heart said, aiming her forehooves at Spitfire's twisted rearhooves. "Be still. Your wounds. I am coccooning them." She said.
"Coco- what?" Spitfire blinked. She gave a little gasp as her pain dissolved away in a cool, almost soothing sensation. She looked down and found her rearhooves being carefully wrapped up in a greenish black coccoon of fine spidery silk by the mysterious young nurse. "Whatever that is, gimme more." She cooed with relief.
"Solid Love. That's all this is. The wound. This will close it and numb the pain." The changeling explained, expertly weaving the silk flowing out of the little recesses in her forehooves. "As long as he buys us enough time." She peered over her shoulder. "Oh bug it!" She cried, watching as Tirek sailed out of the ruins of the grocery store trailing a plume of dust and cabbage leaves.
"Oh crystal balls." Warm Hug muttered as Tirek's hulking form blotted out the sky above him, his shadow rapidly engulfing him. He scrabbled onto his hooves, but they only slipped and slid on the frozen puddle of his own making, leaving him running in place. "Eeeeep." His ears drooped as he gave one last squeak of fright. The colossal mountain that was Tirek landed with a thunderous crash, crushing him into the street. Dust and debris flew up into the air before finally settling around the sizeable crater in the middle of the street.
"NO!" Luna cried, stumbling as she struggled to rush out. She hobbled before falling face first into a puddle. "Not one of my little ponies! Stop, foul knave!" She barked, spitting out mud and grime. "Stop, I say!"
"No, ma'am! Please, you musn't! Not in your condition, really!" Moonlight cried, rushing forwards to hold onto her princess protectively.
"Let go of me, Moonlight!" Luna barked, struggling against her guardsmare's hold. "No! NOO!"
"Ouch....my eye." Warm Hug's voice groaned from somewhere within the crater. A shaky hoof rose up bearing a stick. It gave a weak thump against Tirek's bark-like hooves. "T-take that...a-and that." He rasped.
"Insolent insect!" Tirek pulled back a massive cannon-like fist before slamming it down into the crater.
WHAM
"M-my o-other eye..." Warm Hug's voice croaked. "That....didn't count!" The shaky hoof dropped the stick, opting to point accusingly at Tirek.
WHAM
"O-okay! I-it counts! I-it counts!" He squeaked.
WHAM
Another fist landed in the crater.
"Aaah. W-whatever th-that was, it hurts like buck." Warm Hug wheezed. "H-hey, time out. Need to check if m-my insurance covers big red plot warts."
"You think you're funny?" Tirek growled, putting his hands together as he raised it overhead. "Tartarus will absolutely enjoy your humour."
WHAM
"Heh. I-I'm h-haunting your plot. I-I s-swear I'll n-n-never let you take a dump in p-peace ever again!" Warm Hug declared. His ears were ringing. His vision swam. Every part of him hurt. Every breath caught with pain. Every wheeze felt like fire.
Why? Why do heroic ends have to be so bucking painful?
With what little consciousness he had left he just about made out winged creatures swooping down from above. "Night Guards, pincer formation! Drive him away!" A voice somehow made it through the ringing in his ears. There was a muffled roar. The earth shook with heavy hooffalls. But slowly but surely they drew away, along with the sound.
A different set of hooffalls filled his ringing ears. They were tired, weary hooffalls, moving on sheer force of will alone. There was a skidding sound nearby. Somepony dropped to its knees at his side. What felt like a soft pair of hooves scooped him up and held him gently by his muzzle.
"Windigo! Stay strong!" A muffled voice cried down at him.
'Windigo? What?' His sluggish mind just about managed to process. 'Who is that?' Through his bleary eyes he just about made out a pair of gleaming sapphire orbs peering down at him through a veil of....were those tears? "Nurse, come help!" The voice barked. "Soldier, I want a medevac team here, now!" The hooves held onto his face tightly, as if afraid to let go. But even they weren't enough. He felt himself slowly drift away from its hold. "Stay with me!" His failing ears registered one last time, "Stay with me, please!" Everything faded away into nothingness.