//------------------------------// // Domus castellum // Story: Home is where the heart is // by Wilhelm //------------------------------// Sadness was a rather confusing emotion for Twilight Sparkle. She knew what it was, and had experienced it in the past, albeit thankfully for only very brief moments. But she could never figure out just why it happened when it did. Certain things were understandable, such as losing Mr.Smarty Pants for the day when she was in second grade, Shining Armor’s revoking of her best mare status while mind controlled, or when she had nearly lost her newly found Friendships during Discord’s first escape from stone. But this? This was meant to be a momentous occasion, worthy of parades and parties that the world had never seen before; she had vanished the greatest evil to ever face equestria, mastered the magic of all the princesses, fully reformed discord, gained her own castle and finally found what her true purpose was. Then why was she so sad now? The alicorn in question sighed, then squirmed around in her new bed, the fresh mattress feeling strange and unfamiliar to her aching and weary form, preventing her from sleeping no matter how much she tried, nor how many glasses of warm milk she drank. Truly, this new bed, despite its regal quality and texture could not replace her old one. The old, loyal companion that had faithfully suffered through endless jumps, flops and late nights of study without a single creak or groan to show for it. And what was its repayment for such loyal service?  To be carbonised in an instant by a egotistical madpony. She frowned at the memory. While the loss of her bed was certainly troublesome, it was no explanation for the pit of sorrow that had started to slowly chip away at her spirits throughout the night. Sitting upright with a sigh, she abandoned her vain attempts at sleep and turned to face her window, a picture of confusion painted itself on her face as she instead came face to face with a crystalline wall. She stared at it for a few moments in befuddlement, wondering if she had accidentally cast a transformation spell in while trying to sleep again, or if she had actually fallen asleep and was now in some bizarre dream.  A quick pinch, followed by her realisation that she no longer had a bedroom window, proved this not to be the case. Her face drooped a tad, as another layer of sadness piled atop her growing granary of the emotion. She had liked that window, partially the view it had given of the moon at night, a comforting sight after a pleasant day of friendship and study. The window, though just a crude piece of glass, had been the center point of many of her adventures. Her first night in ponyville, staring up at the stars while she awaited Nightmare Moon’s return, letting a tree through to cause AppleJack and Rarity to bond at her first sleepover and much, much more.   She smiled at tad at the thoughts, the reminder of happier times going someway to rally her mind against the ongoing invasion of sadness, only for them to be routed and put to flight by her realisation that said memories would never happen again, at least not with that window. She sighed, then rolled over onto her side, pulling her blanket around her and closing her eyes in an attempt to form a snuggly cocoon around herself and once more besiege the castle of dreams. Alas, the foul forces of guilt and gloom rode out and put her camp to hoof, once more trapping her in the land of the living. She groaned and sat up, rubbing her closed eyes with her hooves and let out a soft yawn, before calling out into the night. “Spike, you awake?” There was no reply. She expected this, of course. Baby dragons are hardly known for their endurance, especially not after such an emotionally draining day as the once that had just passed. What she didn’t expect how ever, was the utterly lack of noise coming from her assistant. Spike was hardly the most peaceful or quiet of sleepers. “Spike? Heeeello, no time for playing hide and seek.” The silence was deafening. She scrunched her lips and made to sit up, only to be knocked back down onto her back by the realisation that struck her. Of course Spike wasn’t here! His bed had been another of the unfortunate casualties of Tirek’s escape, and her new crystallised room wasn’t exactly the best place for the growing dragon with snacking issues to stay. Luckily, Rarity had lived up to her elemental namesake and had offered Spike a place to sleep, till a more proper accommodation could be established for the Drake. She let out a smile laugh, followed by a slight smile at the memory of Spike’s reaction to the offer. He had been near floating off of the ground from his giggly joy, though that had been somewhat lessened by the news that it was Sweetie Belle, not Rarity’s room that he would be staying in. No doubt he was plotting on how to best enthral and captivate his crush, as he had done so many times before in front of the library’s downstairs mirror. The memory once again turned, the hoard of sorrow once again riding across her mental plains as she realised that such events would never happen again. Similar events, perhaps. But never with that exact mirror in that exact place.   She frowned again, then reached out with her magic, reflexively going to pull her note pad and pre-inked quill out of her bedside drawer, only to come to have her a bedside lamp pulled into her personal space. She let out a started yelp and flailed around a few seconds, surprised at the sudden near lamping of her muzzle, before calming herself and sheepishly looking around the room, a embarrassed blush spreading across her cheeks, followed by an inner wish that no one had heard her. They hadn’t. She mentally chided herself for crying out like that at her mistake and floated the lamp back to the bedside table. She was a princess, for Celestia’s sake, not some idle minded foal, no matter how much her sadness made her want to curl up under the protective wing of her mentor as she had done in what seemed like eons ago, but was only a few years. She raised her head up and glanced around the room. While the act usually reassured her that all was well as safe, now it just made it feel like the pit of her stomach had fallen out from under her. The crystal walls held none of the memories nor warmth of her tree, their polished surfaces reflecting only her own doubts and sorrow onto her. This would have to be fixed. She furrowed her brow in concentration as her horn was once again coated in a familiar lavender glow, which spread across the cool, crystal floor and engulfed the cold, uncaring walls in its powerful embrace. With a flash, the loveless and lifeless decor was gone, replaced with the more familiar and caring sight of her old bedroom, seeming just as eternal and immovable as she had thought it would always be. She pulled her sheet off of her and crawled out of the bed, a smile once more adoring her face as she pushed away her memories of the day and let the illusion over take her senses. It looked exactly as she always recalled it. She closed her eyes and took a deep whiff of the air, wings reflexively flexing out to either side. It even had the same smell, one of aged books and dragon scales, mixed in with the scent of old oak and owl feathers. It was bliss. Her eyes sprung back open, a small frown on her muzzle as the scent tickles some deeper part of her memory. As lovely as the scene was, there was something missing from it, something in the background, often over-looked but always noticed. Owlicious! The name barreled into her mind like a minotaur through a pottery shop, shattering her focus and causing the magical illusion to dissipate into a purple huez that soon vanished out of existence.     Twilight bit her bottom lip as she mentally slapped herself. How could she have forgotten her faithful feathered assistant? Or forgotten to even spare him a thought. The poor owl was probably still terrified from his near death! She mentally winced at the thought. If she had just been a few seconds too late with her teleportation spell… She shook her head, clearing such thoughts on her mind. It was best not to dwell on such things, especially not at a time like this. And yet, the worry about what could have been refused to leave her mind, tearing her up on the inside over what could have happened to her dear owl. She choked back a tear, then took in a deep breath of the cool air, using the techniques that her old foal sitter, Princess Cadance had taught her in order to calm herself. A few moments later, she let out a small smile. It was pretty silly to get worked up over what could have been, instead of what had been. Besides, she thought to herself, Owlicious was probably getting VIP treatment at Fluttershy’s cottage. Eating all he could, napping and maybe even making friends with one of the other owls there. Celestia knows he needed the companionship. She smiled at the thought, then blushed a tad as she realised how ironic it was for her of all ponies to be thinking that. But still, she reasoned, it was true. Friendship certainly hadn’t done her any harm; indeed, the opposite was true, with her life being what it was now only because of her friendship. She made a mental note to talk to Fluttershy about the prospect of finding Owlicious some friends while re-casting the spell. It probably wasn’t the most psychologically sound way of relaxing, but that didn’t matter. Not for today at least. No, for now she would have her room the way it was meant to be and would come to terms with her loss later. Preferably while engrossed in several very good books. She nodded, firmly agreeing with herself. Books certainly were valuable and amusing tools for cheering oneself up. She slowly paced around her room, lost in thought as she remembered all those wondrous works that she had spent her nights with before; Magical guides, Daring Do, plant guides or history books, she had read them all. She giggled to herself, enjoying the blissful memories for another moment, before trotting over to the bookcase near her bed, remembering the book that she had been holding on request from Canterlot library. Saint Baada’s history of the goat gatherers wasn’t the most action packed tale, but it’s tales were still riveting and engaging for her. She reached out with a hoof, wanting to feel the refreshing and comforting feel of the book’s aged cover. Alas, her hoof merely passed through the aged tome and collided with the rather unbook-like crystal castle wall. She scowled for a moment at the book, seemingly questioning why it would seemingly bend reality to keep itself from her grasp, before her eyes and ears drooped in realisation as the spell once again collapsed. The book was gone. The original version  that the royal library had lent her in good trust and faith was gone. More than that, all her books were gone. Every letter, comic, poem, priceless tome, ancient work  and special edition in her collection was gone. Her knees buckled, causing her to gracelessly fall to the floor and she stared ahead in delayed shock. They were gone. All the books that she had spent her life reading over and cherishing, all those notebooks and letters that she had poured her life into, they were all gone, reduced to mere ash and soot by a tyrannical monster. For all her power, and princessly worth, there was only one thing that Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship and defender of Equestria could do. She began to cry. It started small at first, merely drops that dripped down across her muzzle, before slowly plopping down onto the uncaring crystal floor, but it soon became a flood, tears falling unabated as the sheer magnitude of how much of her life’s joy’s Tirek had destroyed hit home. She still had her friends, certainly, but these books had been around for far longer, and though they weren’t as valuable as her friends, the meaning that they held for her caused their loss to feel like someone had ripped a part of herself from her and cast it into the abyss.   She continued in this unseemingly and childish behaviour for quite a few moments, the fur along her muzzle becoming rather damp and matted from the seemingly endless flood of emotion. Thankfully for her fur, she didn’t continue in this behaviour for eternity, her sobs slowly quieting and her tears drying up. She wiped her reddened eyes with her hoof, then floated her blanket over with her magic to dry herself off in. It was a rather soft blanket, she reflected. Not as soft, or comforting as her old blanket, no. But it was certainly comforting in its own right, remindering her somewhat of the old rugs that had lined the meager study room at her parent’s abode. She smiled slightly at the memory and made a mental note to visit her parents in the next few days. It would be a little unexpected, but family time would be a far better course of action then just sitting around and mopping in this castle. Her smile grew a little more as her imagined her mother’s reaction to the castle. She had been over the moon to have one child be married into royalty and one to serve it, with both children royals in places she’s be at a loss of words. She rolled her eyes at how silly the though was, knowing her parents, it was far more likely that her father would be overcome by emotion, while her mother fretted over any injuries or ailments that she could have suffered from the magical battle with Tirek. She let out a soft snort at how overprotective her mother could be at times, and yet at the same time, couldn’t help but smile at the memories of just how much her parents cared for her and had supported her through her life. Yes, she decided, a parental visit was certainly in order. Her mind made up, and for once in the night, free of turmoil, she stood back up and started to trot back towards her bed, intent on actually getting some sleep this time. Besides, she reasoned to herself, if sleep was not forthcoming, she could always cast a sleeping spell on herself, a prospect that had occurred to her at very start of the night, but one which she had dismissed, preferring natural sleep to the magically induced. As she approached the bed, she noticed something that hadn’t been there the last time she had glanced at the bed. A small, blue rectangular gift box, wrapped in a purple bow rested atop her mattress. She cocked her head to the side, then enveloped the gift box in her magic and floated it over to herself, looking it over. It seemed simple enough, neatly wrapped and smelling faintly of cotton candy. A small card dangled limply underneath the box, tied to the bow by a yellow ribbon. She tilted the card up with her magic, careful to not lose her grasp on the box itself and looked over the card. It was a rather colourful card, with a small painting of a butterfly adorning it’s cover, set against a mango coloured and scented background. She raised her eyebrow at the odd scent, then flipped the card open and examined the contents. ‘Dear Twilight Friends don’t let Friends be sad. Have a gift, on me. Sincerely, Discord. Lord of Chaos and a dear friend.’ Twilight’s head tilted a tad more to the side, followed by a raised eyebrow of suspicion and finally, a grin. Sure, Discord was a lying, cheating trickster and it was his fault that Tirek was able to attack her in the first place but it was still somewhat comforting to see him trying to be a friend. Still, that didn’t explain what the gift could be, especially something so small and ‘normal’ seeming. Deciding that the only way to figure it out was to open it, she did exactly that, carefully unfolding the bow and ribbon, before slowly unwrapping the present, pausing a moment to watch with amusement as the card came to life and lazily started to fly away. Once the box was fully unwrapped, she carefully levitated the top of the box off and lifted the contents out, rotating it around and giving it a once over to make sure it wasn’t anything dangerous. It wasn’t. Far from it, in fact. If her eyes could be trusted, the gift appeared to be a small and condensed paperback book, titled ‘Chaos for eggheads’. Appropriately enough, a picture of herself, albeit with her head in an egg shape, adorned the front cover. Aside from that, the book seemed rather plain, a trait which under any other circumstance, Sparkle would have found to be highly suspicious, especially considering the sender of the gift. But now? Now she was just happy that it wasn’t going to burn her castle down, or turn gravity off. And so, she carefully placed the book on the floor and then started the rather annoying process of re-making her bed. This was done in a very short and swift order, as would be expected from somepony as orderly as herself. However, instead of merely flopping onto the bed, she turned around, sensing that something wasn’t right. Instead of the one, single book on the floor, there was now a number of them, the number doubling by the second. She stared at them, slack jawed as the room slowly filled with book after book, after book. But not just any books, no. A quick scan of the titles revealed that these were the exact books that she had owned in her now deceased library. A giddy sense of joy bubbled up within her, as she scanned across the horde of literature, trying to establish if every missing book had been replaced. This was, of course, an impossible task, with the covers of a number of books being covered by their neighbours. But enough of them could be understood to cause Twilight to give a small squee and do a little gleeful dance on the spot, wings extended. Her books were back!  More so than that, the books had organised themselves in a rather amusing structure, one that she hadn’t seen since her childhood, a book fort. This book fort was obviously much larger than the ones she had constructed as a filly, but the sight still evoked a wave of nostalgia inside of her, that merged with the glee to form a dizzy concoction of utterly bliss. Paying no heed to how silly and immature such an action would look to an outside observer, she ripped her sheet from her bed like an errant schoolchild and rushed inside the adult sized book fort, giggling to herself as she did so. The fort was exactly like the ones she had built as a filly with her brother, a protective fortress of knowledge and reason in which no doubt nor fear could assail her.She let out a soft yawn, and wrapped herself up in her blanket, the feelings of safety oozing from the fort slowly lulling her towards a blissful sleep. She made a final mental note to have Spike re-organise and properly catalogue the books in the morning, before succumbing to the welcome embrace of a tender slumber.