Mario Jumps On Tank

by Derpator


Mario dun goofed

Rainbow Dash blasted open her door, the sunshine searing through the opening. A beautiful morning, and Tank needed his usual flight exercise.

“Tank!” she shouted behind her. “Come on, time to go.”

She smiled when a whirring noise became apparent. A small gust of air blew locks of her mane back as a flying tortoise wearing small goggles came into her vision. She stepped aside so that Tank could fly past her.

Once Tank was out of the door, she followed closely, shutting the door behind her. She turned to her pet. “The usual short leisure flight followed by some awesome moves and tricks?” She finished off with a cheeky grin.

Tank didn’t say a word, but Rainbow Dash knew his thought process by heart. He was up and ready for it, she could tell. Taking a few stretches and jogging of her hooves, she often liked to prepare herself for a morning flight session.

Rainbow Dash exhaled as she cranked her head around, allowing her muscles to get some activity. She didn’t want anything stiff. Finalising her small warm-up with a few press-ups, she flared her wings, ready for flight.

“Alright, let’s go,” she said as she took flight, her wings taking their first flaps.

Tank followed closely behind Rainbow Dash with his magical helicopter, the whirring noise constant. He flew through the air with grace and dignity, the wind blowing through his excited face and around the rock solid shell.

Rainbow Dash snuck in a few dives and air kicks to her routine, just to spice it up. She just finished a triple barrel roll followed by a corkscrew header dive. And then she faced the rest of Ponyville, basking in its beauty and radiant glow. Tank thought so too as he chugga’d over next to her, taking in the sight.

She sighed. It was the mornings that counted. And nopony would ever see that mushy side of her.

She puckered her lips a bit, before taking a few flaps. She was ready to head on. “Come on Tank,” she called behind her.

She felt free in the air. Her and her pet alone in the skies. Nothing could have gone wrong.

“Woo!” a voice cried out. Rainbow Dash halted in her movements. Another pony was out? Soon afterwards, she heard a little spring noise, not too unfamiliar to Pinkie Pie’s bouncing. Another pony around was fine overall, but she knew it wasn't Pinkie Pie.

She turned around to face Tank, only... he wasn’t there. Her eyes widened in horror. “Tank?!” she called out, darting around everywhere. It was only when she looked down that Tank was planted onto his four legs, the helicopter part of him neutralised and completely gone.

She descended down to the ground with haste. "What happened?" Tank was in her primary field of vision, but she caught wind of another creature. She slowly raised her head, coming into a staring contest with another being.

An alien. A creature that stood on two legs. And for some reason... fully clothed. It had a distinctive moustache, and it even wore a hat. And it just stared at her, standing right next to her pet. Did that thing do this to Tank?

Rainbow Dash’s mouth opened, words wanting to come out. She couldn’t come up with anything. Her primary concern was Tank. Just as she was about to kneel down and check him out, the alien jumped into the air, shouting, “Yah!”

Rainbow Dash’s eyes widened as big as flying saucers as she watched the red clothed being jump on top of Tank. The tortoise retracted his limbs into his shell at first contact. She didn’t know if it was a natural reaction to hide or if it was intimidation. But why? Why did this thing just jump on her pet?

The being jumped back to its original position. It just stood still, not budging an inch. Its expression never changed, just giving Rainbow Dash the same stare. Was it angry? Sad?

Rainbow Dash however, was blatantly fuming. She wanted to buck the being square right in the jaw for attacking or even touching her pet, but she knew so little of what it was, and Tank was her higher priority.

But she still had to defend her honour, as well as her pet. Her wings unfurled as she stomped a hoof on the ground. “What the hay do you think you’re doing?!” she yelled at the thing. “Who are you? What are you? Why did you come here and jump on Tank?”

Her eyes narrowed right at it. She was trying to scare it off with a frightening leer. It worked on some other creatures time to time.

The being though, did not react. It just remained stationary, unmoving. It blinked its eyes, from which after inspection, were blue. Rainbow Dash didn’t care about that. She just wanted to smack it in the face.

After a few tense moments, the being finally moved. Rainbow Dash traced its trajectory perfectly, just to see what it was up to. It took a few steps towards Tank, making contact with the tortoise.

Rainbow Dash was about to yell at it once more, but she stopped when the being kicked Tank, sending him spinning and barrelling down the path. She looked on instantly to see her pet helplessly sliding away from her with every second. The green shell was spiralling out of control, and it only got smaller in the distance.

She gritted her teeth furiously. She made unhealthy groans as she jerked back towards the creature. That was the final straw! It needed to pay! She would have chased after Tank, but after his untimely death, he had to be avenged, and to do that, she had to confront the beast stood in front of her.

She brought back a hoof, ready to smack in right into the face of the alien, along with the hairy moustache. Her battle stance was ready, and to sacrifice herself on Tank’s behalf, she was prepared to do the deed.

The being moved again. It caused Rainbow Dash to freeze up. She daren’t not give it a split-second of a moment to attack, but it rose its... things up. They weren’t hooves, and it was wearing gloves. They looked similar to Spike’s claws, and they would freely wriggle if it chose to.

“Edelolradoveto,” it said all in one go while making a motion with its appendages, like it was using them to emphasise its words.

Rainbow Dash’s eye twitched. What long-ridden language from the fiery depths of Tartarus was that? She didn’t understand a single word of it. Was it cursing? What was it saying?

It was foreign of some degree... she was sure of that.

“Appeportabadadudu,” it continued, making the same wavy gestures.

She cursed the beast! How dare it come into Ponyville, kill her tortoise, and speak the language of a Cthulhu?!

She graved her hoof violently along the ground. She was pretty ticked off, and she was about to do something unhealthy about it. The hairy, fat looking... thing just remained still, that same expression present on it. She hadn’t deduced what it was yet, or even its thoughts. Was it a huge threat? Did it require a five minute session with the Elements of Harmony? Possibly, but not if she got to it first!

Before she could do anything, Tank came rolling back at blinding speed. The spinning shell collided with the biped. The shell stopped in its progress, but the creature reacted crazily.

Its arms went wild as its whole body twisted, like it became dizzy. It mumbled something that at most, could be made out as, “Mamma mia.” It crashed onto the ground, landing flat on its back.

Rainbow Dash arched her eyebrow as she stood over the body that lay on the ground, still unsure of what it said. It came out as incomprehensive garbage. Its blue eyes had vanished completely, instead replaced with two giant X marks on either eye. She poked the body tentatively, but no reaction took place. She turned to the shell, which had stopped gyrating.

Rainbow Dash took hold of the shell right away. She almost panicked, until a familiar tortoise poked its limbs out of the appropriate holes. She cheered in delight, holding up Tank as the pet escaped without a single scratch. “Tank! You’re alright!” she screamed, overtaken by the glee. A few tears appeared unintentionally, and she sneaked in a quick nuzzle as soon as she scoped the scene to make sure no other ponies, or crazy moustache-wearing creatures, were watching.

Tank creaked a smile, having come out fully alive and unharmed.

But... did Tank kill the alien? Rainbow Dash took a hard, long gander at the motionless corpse, nothing moving an inch. Karma had come around and bit it.

Tank was the most awesome pet ever!

Rainbow Dash still had no clue what the being was or how it interrupted their session, or if there were even more of them, but she would take that up with either Twilight or Princess Celestia later. For now, she wanted to resume her morning session with Tank.

But he had lost his helicopter blades of Soi. How could he fly without Soi? Rainbow Dash would have to carry him, it seemed...

Rainbow Dash took a few steps after picking up Tank, ready to carry on. Her demeanour degraded instantly when she heard a familiar voice cry out.

“Hwah!” the voice behind her shouted.

Rainbow Dash twisted her head to see the same exact creature as before running down the path. The body had disappeared, but the way the new figure was positioned made it looked like... like...

Like it had an extra life or something.

Rainbow Dash winced, wanting to get away from the foul creature. How was it immortal? Tank stopped it the first time, but maybe it could learn and adapt to new obstacles. She squinted at the thought alone.

The creature tried something different. It held a yellow object in its possession. Rainbow Dash didn’t notice anything peculiar about it, other than it was a five-pointed star with... eyes? A star with eyes? How on Equestria did that work?

But the creature absorbed it, or so Rainbow Dash seemed to witness. It evaporated into thin air, and all of sudden, the being started flashing all the colours of the rainbow while some some jingling theme happened to play out of nowhere.

Rainbow Dash’s eyes widened when the flashing technicolour alien started running right in her direction. She didn’t like the look of her current situation, even more when it didn’t seem to slow down. Was it coming for her or was it just running in her direction? She didn’t know, and she didn’t want to know.

As quickly as she could in a panicked manner, she hoisted Tank up in her hooves and spread her wings. She had to get away from whatever the creature was. And she had to find her friends. Only together would they be able to defeat whatever it was.

Equestria had to be saved from the evil tyrant known as Mario, who hadn’t even finished the world yet.